Father's Day 2022-How to be a Wise Guy

FATHER'S DAY 2022-BEING A "WISE GUY" Spring Valley Mennonite; June 19, 2022; Selected verses from Proverbs Happy Father's Day, dads! Like most of you men, I have reached the exalted status of Grand-Dad. I have been incredibly blessed with eleven grandchildren from our five children. We just returned from a delightful time of a week vacation with all the children and grandchildren-23 of us in one big house! Grandchildren are one blessing of getting older! Most of we men are fathers and grandfathers. My remarks will relate to both categories, but also to anyone else, for my topic is wisdom and the opportunity we have to pass it on to others. I'll introduce the subject with a bit of history: The 1890's were a time of optimism and prosperity in the United States. Few people were far-sighted enough to see the incredible changes which would occur in the next century. The horse was the main source of power and transportation. The nation was relatively uninvolved outside of its own borders. Who could have foreseen the world wars, the political changes, the technological and social changes which would occur in the future? We went from horse and buggy to space travel! Move forward 100 years to the 1990's: One writer put it like this: "The 1990s were a relatively peaceful time of prosperity. For most of the 1990s, Bill Clinton was president, the first baby boomer to live in the White House as the commander-in-chief. The Berlin Wall, the prime symbol of the Cold War, fell in November 1989, and Germany was reunited in 1990 after 45 years of separation. The Cold War officially ended with the fall of the Soviet Union on Christmas Day 1991, and it seemed as if a new era had dawned."1 Who could have foreseen the changes, both good and bad, that we've seen in the 21st century so far? Consider these things: 9-11 and the war on terrorism and the resulting restrictions in travel; smart phones! The rise of social media and the mobile internet, giving us access to instant information on almost anything, wherever we might be. We've seen the legalization of same sex "marriage" and transgenderism/gender confusion; the election of the first African American president; a world-wide pandemic with quarantines and the shut-down of everything deemed "non-essential," and $5.00 gas. It is unsettling to contemplate the future for my children and grandchildren. What challenges must they be prepared to face? These are sobering thoughts, but my purpose this Father's Day is not to make us all depressed and worried about our awesome responsibility to prepare the next generation. I also don't intend to lay a guilt trip on us about the job we have or are doing in parenting. I do hope to give you some insight on what the Bible says about the task of teaching children, preparing them to survive and thrive no matter what the future might hold. Godly fathers always have contemplated the task of fathering with a bit of trepidation and have been overwhelmed by the challenge of adequately teaching principles which equip children for the future. The great challenge is this: a specific list of things to do and don't do in life may be valuable, but with life changing so rapidly, how do we train children to handle the unknowns of the future? It would be like the challenge of a father in 1898 teaching his son to plow with a team of horses yet sensing that the tractor was the coming thing. What we must do is to give children the basic principles of successful living, then instill in them the necessity of continuing to apply those principles. The godly principles in living and the practice of them are what the Bible calls "Wisdom." It is at the feet of the fathers and grandfathers that the primary responsibility is placed of being the family mentors, the family shepherds, the family "sages," but it is also shared with other adults who are significant in the lives of children. We all are to impart wisdom to our children, but the primary responsibility rests on the father. The Buck stops here. I. THE BUCK STOPS HERE Turn with me to the book of Proverbs. I would point out the Biblical mandate of parents, and especially fathers to teach wisdom to their children. Look at 1:8: "Hear my son, your father's instruction." Chapter 2, verses 1 and 2: "My son, if you will receive my sayings...; 3:1: My son...; 3:11, verse 21. Now look at chapter 4, beginning at verse 1 and continuing through verse 9 (READ). We could continue throughout the first nine chapters of Proverbs and we would find this predominant theme: "Fathers are to impart wisdom to their children, and children are to listen and learn these basic principles of life." In a perfect world, every child would have a wise and loving father. Sadly, our world is broken, and this teaching of wisdom falls increasingly on single mothers, grandparents, and other significant adults. Allow me to define wisdom for you: Wisdom is skill in godly living. Biblical wisdom is very practical and is expressed in living according to scripture. The wise person is sensitive to God and willingly subjects himself to God, the source of all true wisdom. The wise person applies divine guidelines in everyday situations and makes daily choices guided by God's will. Wisdom becomes much more than knowledge; knowledge deals only with information. Acquiring knowledge is primarily the task of education. Wisdom goes a step further to the application of knowledge. Wisdom deals with seeing and living life from God's point of view. Consider why wisdom is so crucial for children. The Bible teaches that life presents us with two choices, two pathways, two roads we may take. We can walk the way of the righteous or we can choose the way of the wicked. Wisdom enables us to choose the proper way. The way of the righteous is not always clear; life always seems full of "extenuating circumstances." Our modern society seems full of what Isaiah described when he observed, "...those who call evil good, and good evil; who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; who substitute bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" Life can be confusing, especially for the young and naïve. Proverbs 16:25 tells us that there is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. There are two opposing "wisdom clusters" available to our children, one which conforms to truth and reality-God's wisdom; and the other "worldly wisdom" which is a snare and a trap for the naïve and inexperienced. Our kids are at risk, and they need a strong guide. In God's plan for the family, this guide is the father. If wisdom is so crucial for our children, where do we acquire this wisdom? This brings me to my second point: II. THE GREAT WISDOM SEARCH Proverbs 2:4-7 sets us on our quest (read) Before I list the sources of wisdom and how to acquire this priceless treasure, let me emphasize that wisdom is not acquired by a mechanical formula, but rather is secured as we walk closely with God: listen to Proverbs 9:10: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Where does wisdom begin? What is the starting point? It begins with the fear of God. This fear is the reverential awe of God's magnificence, absolute holiness and omnipotence. It is what we feel when we gaze upon the vastness of the Grand Canyon, or stand on the brink of Niagara Falls, or find ourselves speechless gazing at the majesty of the Grand Tetons. It what we feel as we observe the massive thunderheads building in the Kansas sky. We who fear God recognize and worship Him as the power and creator behind all the mighty forces of nature, and we respond to Him by rejecting every competing god and by serving Him alone. It is recognizing that Life is all about Him, not ourselves. He is the Boss; He calls the shots. If we truly fear the Lord, we will strive to walk in all His ways; to love Him by obeying all His commandments; to serve Him with all our heart and soul. Until a father or grandfather commits his life to God through Jesus Christ, he cannot be truly wise, for he is separated from the wellspring of wisdom. He may live his life prudently, but on Judgment Day he will be proven a fool for rejecting the only pathway to life and for failing to teach his children and grandchildren the fear of the Lord. One who has this awesome God living within him acquires wisdom as he learns about and responds to God. Having this relationship through Jesus Christ, God enables us to tap into several sources of His wisdom: * The first source is God's Word. If we define wisdom as skill in godly living, God's Word not only gives us principles of life, but also life experiences of men and women from which we can learn. These are the "testimonies" which are our instructors. We can observe the choices made by biblical characters, either good or bad. We can study the life of Eli or Samuel, who both were lousy fathers. We can study King David and his family relationships. We can look at Abraham and Isaac, Isaac and his twin sons Esau and Jacob. We can study Jacob and Joseph and his 11 brothers-all these testimonies teach us wisdom in family life, often by negative examples. For example, we see the negative effects of showing favoritism to one child over another with Jacob and Esau, and then Jacob and Joseph. * The second source is closely related to the first and works in close conjunction with it. This source of wisdom is the Holy Spirit. One of the Spirit's purposes is to lead us in all truth. He convicts us of sin, which is contrary to wisdom, and enlightens us in specific situations, enabling us to make choices using the principles of God's Word. As we allow God full control of our lives, we are filled with the Spirit and He is free to impart wisdom to us. * A Third source of wisdom comes through the gift of prayer. James 1:5: "If any man lacks wisdom let him ask of God who gives to all men generously and without reproach and it will be given to him." God's will is to give us wisdom and if we lack it, we have the privilege of asking for it. * The fourth source is what we are speaking of today: Fathers. We are to gain wisdom from our parents. I would add that this source of wisdom does not dry up when a child leaves home but should continue while you have your father still living. Even after he is gone, a wise father leaves memories with his children of the ways he did things, and the things which were important to him. One of my greatest joys is when my children ask my opinion on something. This is one way we honor our parents. * We also gain wisdom from wise counselors. Proverbs 11:14: "Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory." These counselors may be other men or women who are maturing believers, or the wisdom found in the writings of wise men. Books are a wonderful source of wisdom. Those dedicated to acquiring wisdom are constantly reading and gathering wisdom from others. But show discernment: We always must filter this wisdom through the Word of God. All that claims to be God's wisdom is not! Search the Scriptures, as Paul told the Bereans, to see if these things are true. * My final source seems counter-intuitive, but we learn wisdom from our mistakes and poor choices. I once invested a sum of money in a low-priced stock which the salesman on the phone guaranteed would double my money in a couple of weeks. It didn't, and I lost most of my investment. An expensive lesson, but I did learn from it. Having gleaned wisdom from all these sources, how do we as fathers and grandparents impart, teach, and communicate this wisdom to our children and grandchildren? III. HOW TO IMPART WISDOM TO YOUR CHILDREN Let me begin with the issue of timing. The teaching of wisdom seldom fits the lecture mode of teaching. Humorously, someone has said, "If you scratch a parent, they bleed a lecture." Wisdom is absorbed naturally by children from parents, as by the way, also is foolishness. This brings me to a crucial principle: you can't impart wisdom when you are not there. Fathers who spend more time with their sons and daughters will be able to impart more wisdom to them. I fondly recall the many hours I spent with my own dad when growing up, whether it was doing chores together, riding somewhere together in the pickup, or sitting on the creek bank talking while we fished. I'm certain my dad was not thinking, "Now this is a good time to impart some wise sayings" but his skill in living came through. My dad grew up in the Depression and learned the lessons learned in hard times. In simply being around him, I learned things like thriftiness, the value and satisfaction in doing a job right the first time, how to treat livestock and pets, and how to creatively make do with what you have. You could find each of these things in the book of Proverbs, but I learned them through observing my dad. Be alert for those "teachable moments," those special times when kids are listening. Teachable moments often occur during a period of crisis. When kids have a specific need for guidance, they will listen much better. But be careful that you don't use the "dump truck" approach, as I have often been guilty of! Remember the story of the little boy who asked his dad where he came from. Taking a deep breath, the father launched into a long explanation of human reproduction. After he finished, the little boy, said, "Huh! Jimmy came from California!" This demonstrates the principle of considering the age of children and speaking wisdom appropriate to their ability to understand. Again, if you are not spending time with your children, you will miss many of those teachable moments. Something important to remember is the value of repetition. Retention increases as a lesson is repeated. In other words, don't expect your kids to pick up your gems of wisdom the first time they hear them. One of the things my kids will tell you is I strongly believe that you don't use something for other than the purpose for which it was designed; if you do, it will probably break or be damaged. You don't use a baseball bat for a hammer. Screwdrivers are not meant for digging in the dirt. Instead of just saying, "Don't do that!" explain the "why", the principle behind the "don't." when your advice gets the "eye roll and sign" response, your kids have probably learned the lesson. Repetition. Consider your choice of words. I read an article where a man told of how his father always called him by the nickname "stupe" which stood for stupid. Can you imagine? Kids learn so much better from encouragement than from criticism, yet a recent study found that there were ten negative words said for every word spoken in the average home. Words have a powerful effect on a child. Choose them carefully. The instruction found in Ephesians 4:29 doubly applies to your children: " Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear." The children of a wise man should never hear cursing, or abusive speech, or any other example of "unwholesome" words. Select stories of anecdotes which come from your life. Tell your children of the dumb things which you did when you were younger, things from which you learned. Don't be too proud to poke fun at yourself. Another idea regarding words is to ask thought leading questions, allowing your children reach their own conclusions. You might ask, "What do you think that teaches us?" This might be very helpful when you are exposed to something that is contrary to your values. Proverbs 15:2 summarizes this thought on selecting proper words: "The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly." Lastly, in considering how to teach wisdom, I want to say something about a proper attitude in communicating wisdom: specifically, the attitude of humility. A wise man is humble, and is willing to admit when he is wrong, or doesn't know the answer. Many men, and I would have to include myself, hate to admit when they are wrong. Admitting your mistakes will always win you more credibility with your kids that being a "know-it-all" who always has to be right. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for; they know when we've blown it, or when we are just "blowing smoke!" Cultivate the ability to say, "I was wrong; please forgive me" or "That's a good question-I don't know the answer!" Then you can have a great time finding the answer together. Being able to successful impart wisdom to your children or grandchildren will ensure they will be able to navigate the changes of an unpredictable future. How are you doing, Dads and granddads? Are you demonstrating the principles of wise living? What are you doing that is more important than imparting the skills of successful living to your kids? Let me leave you with some suggestions: * Begin spending time in the book of Proverbs. I once had a godly teacher who pointed out that Proverbs had 31 chapters, one for every day of the month. He promised that if I would read the book of Proverbs through 12 times in the next year, my life would never be the same. I would give you the same challenge. * Write down your own learning experiences in a journal or notebook. You might include wise sayings you come across, as well as your own thoughts. Your personal devotional thoughts will prove to be a priceless legacy to leave your kids and grandkids. I would end with the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-7: And these words, which I am commanding your today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up." 1 Rosenberg, Jennifer. "Timeline of the 1990s and the Last Hurrah of the 20th-Century." ThoughtCo, Sep. 9, 2021, thoughtco.com/1990s-timeline-1779956. --------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ --------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ 2