Sermon Tone Analysis

Introduction

Many marriages are disintegrating or have already been destroyed because husbands and wives have failed to love according to God’s principles.

Even if you have never known or practiced Biblical love, God graciously directs you to His perfect picture of love (John 3:16; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; 1 John 4:8-11), since loving in this manner is possible for any believers (John 13:34; 1 John 3:23).

If you have failed to practice Biblical love, you can be restored to the Lord by remembering from where you have fallen, by repenting of your failures, and by beginning to do those things that you did at first out of a loving heart (based on Revelation 2:4-5).

Your marriage is to be a covenant before the Lord to a lifetime of companionship and mutual help with your spouse (based on Proverbs 2:17; Malachi 2:14; Mark 10:7-9).

Your love for your spouse is not to be based on your emotions, circumstances, or your spouse’s responses (based on Matthew 5:43-44; John 13:34-35; Galatians 5:16-17).

Instead, you are to love your spouse in obedience to the Lord (based on John 14:15) and in response to His love for you (based on 1 John 4:10-11).

Remember that God does not command you to feel like loving.

Instead, He directs you to think, speak, and act in a loving manner (1 John 3:23) even when your spouse:

Chooses to have only casual contact with you, much like your neighbor (Matthew 22:39);

Currently acts like your enemy (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27, 35); or

Is a believer (bases on John 13:34; Hebrews 13:1; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 John 4:7-8) or an unbeliever (based on 1 Corinthians 7:12-16; Ephesians 5:25, 28; Titus 2:3-5).

You can show love toward your spouse in spite of any fears that you may have (based on Philippians 4:13; 1 John 5:4), since God’s abiding and perfect love casts out all fear (based on 1 John 4:12, 18).

You are not being a hypocrite by loving your spouse even if you do not feel like it (Romans 2:19).

To love when you do not feel like it is a simple matter of faithful obedience (John 14:15) and is a response to God’s love for you (1 John 4:10-11, 19).

(NOTE: It is not hypocritical to do things that you don’t feel like doing.

You may not feel like cooking a meal or going to work, but you do it anyway because you know it is your responsibility.

You are a hypocrite only when you things that you don’t feel like doing and say that enjoy doing them.)

God’s solution to problems in your marriage is for you to:

Make a full commitment to please the Lord in all things (based on 2 Corinthians 5:9; Ephesians 4:1; Colossians 1:10, 3:17);

Examine and judge your own failures in a Biblical manner (Psalm 139:23-24; Matthew 7:1-5; 1 Corinthians 11:31);

Confess your sins to the Lord (Psalm 51:1-4; 1 John 1:9) and confess your marital shortcomings as sins to your spouse (Matthew 5:23-24; James 5:16);

Seek to edify your spouse Biblically and do it heartily as unto the Lord (Proverbs 27:17; Romans 14:19, 15:1-2; Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 3:23-25); and

Seek to resolve conflicts and live at peace with your spouse (Romans 12:18, 14:19; Galatians 6:1-5).

If your spouse, refuses to solve problems Biblically, continue to trust in Christ Jesus for your peace and joy (based on John 14:27; 15:11; 16:22, 33).

Diligently practice Biblical love (based on John 13:12-17; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; 1 John 3:18, 23; 4:7-8, 10-11, 18-21).

Repent of sins committed against God and your spouse (James 5:16; 1 John 1:9).

Return to your initial commitment to live for Him by: (a) remembering from where you have fallen, (b) repenting, and (c) doing again the deeds you did at first which show your live for the Lord (based on John 14:15; 1 John 5:3; Revelation 2:4-5).

In being reconciled with your spouse, you must confess your failure directly to your spouse in order to begin the process of reconciliation (Romans 12:18; James 5:16) and begin again to live in a Biblically loving manner (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Refrain from being judgmental or critical of your spouse (based on Romans 14:10, 13; Ephesians 4:29; Philippians 2:14-15) but instead edify your spouse with words of grace and helpfulness (based on Romans 15:7; Ephesians 4:29-31; Colossians 4:6).

Do not quarrel with your spouse; instead, gently and diligently encourage harmony in your home as you consider your spouse as more important than yourself (based on Philippians 2:3-4; 2 Timothy 2:23-26; 1 Peter 3:8-9).

Do not attempt to manipulate your spouse (i.e., practice love with hypocrisy) but instead overcome evil with respectful and understanding devotion (Romans 12:9-21; 1 Peter 3:1-9).

Be harmonious, sympathetic, kind-hearted, understanding, and humble in spirit toward your spouse, regardless of his or her actions.

Do not return an insult if you are insulted but return a blessing instead (1 Peter 3:1-9).

Initiate reconciliation, no matter who may be at fault (based on Matthew 5:23-24; Romans 12:18, 14:19).

You can respond Biblically to an “irritating” spouse (Romans 12:10-18; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 2 Corinthians 3:4-5; Galatians 5:16-17, 25-26; 1 Peter 3:8-9).

Irritation in you is a signal that you need to change (2 Timothy 2:23-26).

Your heart is revealed by how you respond (Matthew 12:34-37, 15:18-19; Mark 7:20-23).

Your peace and joy in the Lord is not dependent on your spouse’s actions or attitudes (Psalm 119:165; Isaiah 26:3; John 14:27, 15:11, 16:33).

Difficult situations and difficult people give you an opportunity to grow in Christ (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4) and to manifest God’s glory to those around you (Matthew 5:13-16; 1 Peter 2:12).