Peer Pressure
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Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
The Fear of Rejection
This fear messes up our relationships and it will make you miserable. The fear of being rejected will cause you to act in ways that allow people to walk all over you. It affects what you wear, how to speak, dress, etc.
You may be sitting here wondering why you are so weak? Why you can’t seem to handle someone rejecting you or disapproving of you. You get into a conversation, but never share your opinions because you are afraid if you do, they will reject you. People ask you to do things that you really don’t want to do, but you say yes because you are stuck in the people pleaser trap.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
The fear of man lays a snare,
but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
Why people pleasing is harmful:
It causes me to miss God’s purpose for me.
--You can’t be worried about what everyone else wants and focus on what God created you to do at the same time.
2. It keeps me from growing in my faith.
when God is big in your life, other people have less power in our lives. flip that. When we allow people to be big, God becomes small in your life. We give people the influence that God should have.
--God and people cannot be the same size in our lives. Who are we going to give the most influence? Whose approval are we going to seek more?
How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?
3. It will lead me to sin.
—When you try to please everyone, you will end up giving in to peer pressure.
You shall not fall in with the many to do evil, nor shall you bear witness in a lawsuit, siding with the many, so as to pervert justice,
Peter - Peter had lived with Jesus 3 years… seen miracles… the dead raised… walked on water, but when he was forced to either admit he new Jesus and stand against a crowd or deny knowing him, he jumped off the bridge and denied Jesus.
Pilate - When Jesus was brought to Pilate, Pilate saw that Jesus was innocent, but he gave into the crowd. He knew they were wrong but he went along with them.
Joseph - Jospeh had 11 brothers who were jealous of him. They all 11 conspired to sell him into slavery. Not one objected. One tried… Reuben but he gave in.
Twelve Israelite Spies - 10 said they could not do it… 2 said they could. The 10 convinced the while nation to side with them.
Is God Big? or Is the opinion of others big?
Saul - When he became King, Samuel told him that God said to eliminate all of the idols from the land so that people would only worship the Lord. He was talked out of that. Later he confessed to Samuel that he had sinned… that he cared more about what the people thought than God so he let them tell him what to do.
My son, if sinners entice you,
do not consent.
4. It will cause hypocrisy in our lives
God doesn’t want you or I to spend our energy wearing masks trying to please everyone.
When we wear masks, we pretend to be something that we are not. We hid our true selves. FB is all about masks.
And he said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.
--God wants what’s on the outside to reflect what’s on the inside. NO MASKS! The fear of disapproval can cause us to compromise things that are important… like the truth. PC talk
—Integrity is more important than popularity. If you struggle with that, ask God to help you make integrity more important than popularity.
For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
5. It will silence my witness
Yet for fear of the Jews no one spoke openly of him.
How can we stop doing the wrong things because we are worried about what people think?
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
The way to change your life is to change the way you think.
and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
6 Truths to transform your life and set you free:
1. Even God can’t please everyone.
--If God can’t make everyone happy, what makes you think you could.
Jesus even said Woe to you when people think good things about you… Woe means something bad. Chances are that if everyone likes you, you are standing for anything. Because the moment you take a stand for something, you someone will push back.
2. I don’t need everyone’s approval to be happy!
--Happiness is a choice. You don’t need everyone’s approval to be happy. If I think I can only be happy if everyone likes me, I’ll never be happy.
--You can’t please every body. You don’t have to and God doesn’t expect you to either. No matter what you do or say, someone will disagree or disapprove.
--Some of you have spent a life time trying to please an unpleasable person… parent, etc. You wanted to prove them wrong when they spoke negatively into your life. All that time, your mind thought that you would earn their approval… and it hasn’t happened. You got b’s and they expected A’s.
I do not receive glory from people.
When you have a big God, you don’t need the approval of others as much. The bigger God is, the smaller other people’s influence is on you.
If God is big, people have no power over you. When Jesus is #1 in your life, he sets you free from approval addiction because you are focused on him. Jesus, the truth sets us free.
If you are looking for someone to meet all of your needs, you will be disappointed. No one can do that! People will disappoint, but Jesus will never disappoint.
3. What seems so important right now is really only temporary.
--One big reason we become people pleasers is that we get caught up with the here and now rather than eternity. Short term thinking will cause you to become messed up in people pleasing. The what seems to be so important to us right now… is only temporary. The things you think are so important right now, won’t be in a few weeks.
And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
—The things that matter to you now, will most likely not matter to you in 10 years. The things that we can’t take with us when we die, aren't important.
—Only what you do for Christ will last.
4. I only have to please one person.
--Really, in life, I only have to please one person. And that is my Creator. My God. My Savior. I only have to please the Lord, the one who made me and has a purpose for my life.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
--People pleasing is a form of idolatry. Anything you put before God becomes a god. So a boat could be a god. A career could be a god. A girlfriend could be a god. Golf could be a god. Anything that becomes number one in your life that isn’t God becomes your god
5. One day I’ll give an account of my life.
So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
--When you take that long look and realize I’m going to give an account today for every word I say, it’s going to change and give you confidence. It’s going to give you courage. It’s going to give you the ability to stand up and be a man or be a woman in a situation that is constantly trying to put pressure on you to be politically correct or socially acceptable.
For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words, of him will the Son of Man be ashamed when he comes in his glory and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
We can’t be embarrassed to speak up for Jesus.
6. God shaped me to be me.
God shaped you to be you, not anyone else.
When we stand before God, He will not ask us why we weren't more like someone else.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray.
