Dealing with Pain

INTRODUCTION: How do we deal with pain in our lives? A popular saying goes, “hurt people hurt people.” However, we know this is not a correct response, but what is? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. These are all stages of grief we can go through when dealing with pain. It is easy to get stuck in one of these stages while going through pain, we can become angry and bitter, we can become depressed and give up, forgetting the True Healer for our pain. The Bible depicts many people going through hardships and how they deal with it—sometimes correctly, sometimes incorrectly. In Job 2, we see how pain can be handled in anger, in 1st Samuel 1, we’ll see pain handled in prayer, and finally in Luke 17, we read about pain and praise.

THESIS: When we are in pain, we need to turn to our loving Father in prayer, trusting and praising Him for what He has done, what He will do, and Who He is.

I. Pain and Anger (Job 2:9).

A. Job’s wife is one of the most villainized women in the Bible, from only one verse: 2:9.

1. It is easy to villainize Job’s wife for saying this terrible thing to her husband, but have we placed ourselves in her shoes?

2. Just like Job, this woman has also lost everything—she’s lost her home and her children, and now she is watching her husband’s health fall apart before her eyes.

3. Everyone around them is accusing Job of bringing it upon themselves; perhaps she found herself wondering if it was all his fault too, or maybe she was sick of seeing the man she loved suffering so extremely, she just wanted it to end one way or another.

4. Out of her pain and anger, she says words I’m sure she regretted for the rest of her life, “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”

B. Have you ever done or said something you regretted in a moment of pain?

1. Proverbs 29:11 reads, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.”

a. But it is hard to hold back when we are in pain, and it is easy to become angry and let our emotions get the better of us.

b. It is easy to react like Job’s wife did.

2. What is your first reaction to pain and hardship in your life?

3. If you lost everything, what would you do?

4. Job’s wife went through pain turned to anger, but in our second point, we will see how two different women deal with pain…

II. Pain and Prayer (1 Samuel 1:1-20).

A. Hannah was barren in a time when childbearing was the whole identity of a woman (1,2).

1. Hannah would have been seen as lesser, while Peninnah would have been viewed as the better wife.

2. Elkanah possibly married Peninnah after it became evident that Hannah was barren; what a painful thing for a woman to go through.

B. Hannah was mocked and insulted constantly (3-7).

1. Peninnah provoked and mocked Hannah because she was barren.

2. Hannah was constantly reminded of her “inadequacy” by Peninnah while Peninnah was constantly reminded of her status as the “lesser” by her husband’s clear favoritism.

3. Hannah was so distraught that she wept and did not eat.

C. She was not comforted with external things (8).

1. Her husband could not consul Hannah.

2. It is not a simple fix when people are deeply distraught and in pain. Thankfully, we have a great and powerful God we can turn to, and in the next point, we see Hannah did just this (9-16).

3. Hannah poured out her soul before the Lord; she took all her pain to God.

4. Who do we turn to when we are in pain? (Psalm 23; 34:18).

5. Hannah’s attitude changed after praying (18-20). Prayer did not immediately change her circumstances, but it changed her outlook.

6. Two hurting women dealt with their pain very differently.

D. Do we pray to God like Hannah did when we are in pain or do we take it out on others like Peninnah?

1. God is a good Father (1 Jn. 3:1) who wants us to turn to Him.

2. In times of pain and trouble, we need to turn to our Lord, not to vices, superficial things, or temporary earthly things.

3. Philippians 4:6--⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

III. Pain and Praise (Luke 17:11–19).

A. Jesus cleanses ten lepers on the way to Jerusalem (11-14).

1. Leprosy produces skin ulcers, nerve damage, and muscle weakness, it causes severe disfigurement and significant disability.

2. These men were in unmeasurable pain, and they called out to Jesus.

3. Who or what do we call out to when we are in pain?

B. Only one of those lepers showed thankfulness (15-19).

1. Realizing and recognizing that Jesus had healed him, a leper praised God, but the other nine lepers took the good but never thanked the One who blessed them with it.

2. It’s easy to read this story and shake our heads at how ungrateful those nine men were, but are we one of the nine occasionally?

3. When our prayers are answered, do we acknowledge that we owe it all to God?

4. Like Hannah, do we rejoice, whether or not God answers our prayers the way we want? Or are we like Peninnah, Job’s wife, or the nine lepers?

5. We must always be grateful to our Lord (Ephesians 5:20; Philippians 4:6). Unlike the nine lepers, let us not only call out to Him when we are in immediate need but call out to Him in prayer and praise out of thankfulness.

Conclusion: Pain, prayer, and praise. Hurting people deal with their pain very differently, but there are only two real ways to handle pain in our lives: the wrong way and the right way. When we are in pain, we need to turn to our loving Father in prayer, trusting and praising Him for what He has done, what He will do, and Who He is. Do we turn and pray to God like Hannah did when we are in pain or do, we lash out like Job’s wife? Do we remember to thank God when our prayers are answered, or do we quickly forget what God has done for us like the other nine lepers? Who or what do you turn to when tragedy strikes?