In God's Family We Love Each Other

WHAT? What are we talking about today?

ACTIVITY | Rapped In Love

Welcome to the final week of Familia, where we're talking about the people we (supposedly) love more than anyone else — our families. But "love" is an interesting word, right? We might say we "love" our families, but we also say we "love" tacos, or Simone Biles, or naps. So let's see what else you "love."

INSTRUCTIONS: For this activity, you'll need note cards, a large bowl, and a black marker. On each note card, write a variety of randomly selected words (cheddar, money, bread, mommy, nobody, gossip, circus, tsunami, tacos), and place the cards into the bowl. To play, either split students into groups or bring a few students to the front of the room to compete in a freestyle rap contest. Have each player or team to draw at least six words from the bowl and then rap for 30 seconds about love — using all of the words they drew from the bowl.

VIDEO | A Clip from Your Favorite Cheesy Love Story

Now we're getting a little closer to narrowing down what "love" means. But even among the people we "love" most, there are different kinds of love, right? I mean, it would be pretty weird if we told everyone we loved them like this . . .

*Napoleon Dynamite Kip Wedding Song*

*Promposal Pics*

Maybe you've said or done something like this during an epic prom-posal, but real love isn't usually like a romantic comedy. Whether we're talking about a crush, a friend, a parent, or a relative, you might have some questions about what it means to really "love" someone.

Is love a feeling? Or is it something you do? Is it both? Can you love someone without always feeling like you love them? If all you do is feel like you love someone, does that make it true? Maybe these seem like questions that don't really matter, but I promise they do! When it comes to our families we need to talk about what it means to "love" them.

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

VIDEO | A Clip from a Sign Language Tutorial

For the last few weeks, we've been learning to say "family" in different languages as a reminder that there are thousands of ways to say (and be) "family." As a reminder that love is so much more than just the words you say, let's learn the word "family" in what might be a new way for some of you.

*Family sign language clip*

STORY | Talk about a time you struggled to show a family member love through your actions.

My Momma loved being with her kids. Just hearing my brother, sister and I talk on the phone would make her day.

But if she didn’t hear from us for a while, she would get really upset.

When I was born THIRTY NINE YEARS AGO in Donelson Hospital, she got sick and so they took me out of the room and wouldn’t let her see my bro and sis either.

She started to feel worse, and my dad demanded that the doctors and nurses let her see us.

She got better right away.

Almost 11 years ago when Kayla, Brayden and I moved away to West Virginia, I didn’t talk to Momma as much as I should have.

I was busy working full time at the church and part time at UPS.

12 hour days, with work starting at 5:30 every morning and not ending until dark will make you tired.

Momma wanted to talk once a week bc she missed us and we were 6 hours from home.

But some weeks I was just so exhausted that I didn’t call back.

I really wish I would have.

6 months after we moved, Momma went to the ICU at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.

We went down to be with her, and I stayed at the hospital every night, sleeping in the ICU lobby and getting up every few hours to read scripture and pray with her.

My brother and sister were there a lot too.. and I really think having us there helped with that.

She felt better the more she was around us.

She turned a corner and I thought she was going to recover, so we went back to WV.

But she went to home to be with the Lord not long after.

Being around her kids and grandkids made my Momma feel loved, and I look forward to being with her again in heaven.

Teenagers… I know sometimes you think your parents are the worst. (I used to say that crap.) But please don’t take them for granted.

None of us are guaranteed another day, so show them love every time you get the chance.

Even if we speak the same language as our family members, it doesn't mean we all communicate in the same way. For one person, "love" might best be expressed through words. But for others, "love" might mean being thoughtful, helping out around the house, or hanging out together.

SCRIPTURE | I John 4:7–12

When Jesus was on earth, he spent a lot of time with his followers, but one of the disciples he spent the most time with was John.

John saw Jesus teach, heal people, perform miracles, and do ministry. He was even there when Jesus died and later after he rose from the dead. After Jesus left earth, John was part of the first wave of Jesus-followers who created the first church communities where people could worship and learn about Jesus together. As the church grew, John began writing letters to God's family of believers about how they could turn their love for Jesus into action.

According to John, we can't fully understand what it means to love apart from God. The origin and definition of love comes from God.

God invented love and gave us the ability to feel love. But God went a step further by demonstrating love for us through Jesus. We were so loved that God came to earth as Jesus, suffered and died, forgave us before we ever asked to be forgiven, and made it possible for our relationship with God to be restored. Just like Jesus loved us with his actions, John tells us to love each other with our actions. And here's the really cool part. Even though you and I can't see God with our eyes, we can show each other what God is like by the way we love each other. John tells us not to just say we love each other. He tells us to prove we love each other with our actions.

SCRIPTURE | John 15:9–17

How do we do that? I told you a moment ago that John spent a lot of time with Jesus as one of his closest disciples. That means John was there as an eyewitness for many of Jesus' biggest moments. The Gospel of John is the retelling of much of Jesus' life through John's eyes. In it, we can read the story of what Jesus said and did in the days and hours leading up to his death.

In John, we see Jesus knew his death was near, but instead of spending his time thinking about his own comfort or safety, Jesus spent his time comforting his disciples. Before he was arrested and taken away to be killed, Jesus gave his closest friends some parting words, including these . . .

John 15:9–17 NIV

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.

Do you see how love is part of everything Jesus says here?

Because of God's love, Jesus loves us. Because of Jesus' love for us, we can love others. When we love each other, we demonstrate our love for God.

SCRIPTURE | I John 3:16-18

Let's take a look at one more thing John said, from the same letter we read from a moment ago.

1 John 3:16–18 NIV

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

Jesus gave everything for us, so we should be willing to give anything for each other. It's not enough to say we love each other with our words. We have to love each other with what we do.

Jesus never intended his followers to be identified as Christians by what we put in our TikTok bios or social media captions. Instead, Jesus wants his family to be identified by the way we love one another. God's family is a big, diverse, global, multicultural family, but the shared DNA of God's family is love. We can love each other because we are loved by God.

IN GOD’S FAMILY, WE LOVE EACH OTHER

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

You might have heard this story. Back in 2020, a little boy in Wyoming saved his kid sister from an attacking dog. Six-year-old Bridger Walker was mauled when he stepped between a dog and his younger sister.

VIDEO | A Clip from "6-Year-Old Saves Younger Sister From Dog Attack" (Inside Edition)

Bridger needed about 90 stitches, but he said, "If someone was going to die, I thought it should be me." He was willing to give up everything to make sure his sister was going to be okay.  This is the kind of love Jesus demonstrated for us. If someone was going to die, Jesus decided it should be him — not us. It's the kind of love Jesus tells us to demonstrate for others, including our families.

3 WAYS TO LOVE LIKE JESUS

Now does this mean we should be reckless and not value our own lives at all? Um, no. We're not supposed to start running around like a vigilante Batman, but what if we tried to love others (especially our families) with these three steps . . . ?

LOVE WITH YOUR WORDS.

I'm sure we can all think of moments when our words toward our family members have been less-than-loving. It might even happen later today, but the next time you're tempted to be unloving with your words . . .

Stop. Before you react, pause, think about what you want to say, and then pause a little longer. If it's not something that needs to be said, don't say it. But if it is, say it lovingly. Your words carry a lot of weight. The things you say to your family have the potential to do a lot of harm. But if your words are chosen with love they have the potential to do a lot of good too. If loving your family with your words is hard, start small.

"I love you." "Thank you." "You're funny." "Something I like about you is . . . " "I thought it was nice when you . . . " "I appreciate it when you . . . " Whatever you decide to say, remember to always be real with your words. Love is honest and authentic, not manipulative.

LOVE WITH YOUR ACTIONS.

Remember your words won't have any weight if your actions don't back them up. To love your family well, you'll need to find out what "love" means to them. But you can always start by asking, "How can I put them first?"

Would they feel loved if you helped around the house more? What if you spent more time with them? What if you invited them to do something fun? What if you complained a little less or started conversations a little more often?

LOVE THROUGH FORGIVENESS.

Forgiveness can be hard — especially when it's family. Sometimes it feels good to be angry and be petty. Sometimes we like the attention we get or the drama we can start when we've been wronged.

But here are two questions: how often do you make mistakes or do something you regret? (Probably pretty often.) And when you do, how often is God willing to forgive you? (The correct answer is "every single time.") I know forgiveness isn't always easy, but sometimes we refuse to forgive even when forgiveness would be easy. Maybe that's because we're being selfish, or stubborn, or difficult. Whatever the reason, if you're holding onto unforgiveness when you could easily let it go . . . let it go. Cancel that debt. Imagine you stamped it with a giant "paid" stamp. If God can forgive us eternally, we can forgive each other — even if we sometimes have to forgive each other repeatedly. That's what love would do.

RESPONSE | Family Conversation Starters

I know it can be a challenge sometimes to demonstrate love clearly to your family. So to help, I want you to choose just one family member you're going to love on purpose this week.

INSTRUCTIONS: Challenge students to identify at least one member of their family they want to love more intentionally, then use the handout to guide them through a conversation with them — and some action steps too.

Maybe loving your family doesn't seem like a particular world-changing act. But by choosing to love others (even in small ways) we are reflecting the love God has for us — and that love can change everything.

Just like God didn't just say "I feel love for you," but said "I love you" by coming to earth and proving it, we're called to love each other with our words, our actions, and our forgiveness. I don't know about you, but that's the kind of love I want to be known for. It isn't just a feeling, but a choice. Because in God's family, we love each other.