Quit #1: Quit Being Afraid of What Others Think

Intro:

Just to “recap” from last week’s conversation, a though to take away is a definition of Quitting.

“Quitting is about dying to the things that are not of God.”

And this is one of the HARDEST things we do for Jesus.

The discussion also centered on the recognition that quitting isn’t the end—it is also the beginning.

What truth do you see about “dying” in Mark 8:35

Mark 8:35 NLT

35 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it.

Important reminders as we begin the journey of quitting:

Quitting requires that we admit truths and flaws about ourselves.

It is important to know when TO and when NOT to quit.

When we live God’s way and quit when we are supposed to, we develop a willingness to stick with things; and it allows the Holy Spirit freedom to produce fruit in our lives.

Galatians 5:22–23 NLT

22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Let’s take a look at the first “Quit” on our journey.

Quit Being Afraid of What Others Think

What are some of the emotions we can experience when we are motivated by fear of what others think?

Feelings of depression

Feelings of anger

Feeling tired — emotionally, mentally, and physically

Lack of creativity

Lack of “fun” and “outgoingness”

When we experience these negative emotions, what is a common reaction?

To discover the answer look at

Genesis 3:11–13 NLT

11 “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” 13 Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

Since the beginning we humans tend to blame others. This leads to anger, resentment, bitterness, etc.

This is why we have to take a hard look at ourselves and admit hard truths.

When we do, we find things about us that need to change.

Psalm 139:23 NLT

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

In order to quit non-healthy emotional practices like being afraid of what others think we must allow God the freedom to show us what things inside of us need to change.

One way we find ourselves attached with a “lifeline” to the unhealthy fear of what others think is:

We Look to Others to Tell Me “I’m Okay”

When holding onto this fear, we experience the need for others to think and feel the way we do; and at the same time, often feel obligated to think and feel the same way as others—or at the very least not express our own thoughts/feelings—so as not to upset anyone.

Do you now or have you ever felt that the very thought you it worse than death of another person thinks/has thought poorly of your?

If you have experienced or are currently experiencing unhealthy patterns of self-sacrifice and accommodation, have you noticed it overflowing into other areas of life—friendships, church, parenting, etc.?

Is it wrong to enjoy being supported and accepted by others?

Absolutely not.

The problem comes when validation from others becomes something one MUST have in order to feel good about myself.

Do you feel okay with yourself as long as you feel others are okay with you?

If so, this can be an indication that you are headed into or already have set unhealthy patterns of self-sacrifice and accommodation—which leads to being emotionally unhealthy.

Our “Okayness”

Relying on the approval of others for our sense of self-worth is a direct contradiction of Biblical truth.

Our lovability, our sense of being good enough—must ultimately come from two foundational realities

Genesis 1:26 NLT

26 Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”

1) We are made in God’s image.

Because we are created in the very image of God—the Creator of the universe—we have inherent worth. YOU ARE VALUED!

Psalm 17:8 ESV

8 Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings,

We are created in the image of God Himself; an according to the Psalmist, we are the apple of His eye! We are highly valued or treasured apart from anything we do!

2) We have a new identity in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT

17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Ephesians 2:10 NLT

10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Our identity is new in Christ when we have a relationship with Him.

With this truth in mind, what do we rely on for our relationship with God?

Jesus’ sinless record—we are lovable, “okay” and good enough beaus of Christ.

With this truth in mind, is there anything left to prove?

No!

If we have not embraced these two realities; then our daily reality comes not from Christ’s love for us but from how others perceive us. I.E. The need for others to think I am a great Christian and a good person.

What can be the result of this thinking?

Often saying yes when wanting to say no even when miserable.

Its not easy to become free from what others think.

Consider Peter when he followed Jesus to the courtyard during His trial and is recognized by other people as one of Jesus’ friends.

Read Matthew 26 verses 31-75

Peter is recognized as one of Jesus’ close friends yet denies knowing him for fear of what others may think of him an what the results may be for Peter because of this.

Questions to think about through the week:

Is your identity in Jesus anchored as it should be or as you imagine?

Are you able to stand up to rejection and disapproval? Sometimes our biggest obstacle in making healthy changes is fear of what others might think.

We must allow the love of God to penetrate deeply enough to free us from being afraid of what others think.