Relationships in the Church

Series: “The Gospel Truth”

Text: Mt 18:1-20

Introduction: (What?)

The church, which is the Body of Christ on earth until He returns, should be organized and should function as the kingdom of heaven. Therefore we should pay attention to how Jesus instructed His followers as He prepared them for His hiatus (physically) from earth and their responsibilities while He is away.

Examination: (Why?)

1. Relationships part 1 (vv 1-9)

Mt 18:1-9 “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “So who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a small child and had him stand among them. “Truly I tell you,” he said, “unless you turn and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child—this one is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one child like this in my name welcomes me. “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to fall away—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses. For offenses will inevitably come, but woe to that person by whom the offense comes. If your hand or your foot causes you to fall away, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or lame than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to fall away, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hellfire.”

Just as the disciples were concerned about a hierarchy in the kingdom of heaven, there are church members who wonder who is most important in the church. The answer that Jesus gave them is applicable to the church as well. Summarizing what He said, the greatest in the kingdom of heaven will be the most humble and probably the one who is not even aware of their standing in the church. John McArthur noted that child-like faith is “simple, helpless, trusting dependence of those who have no resources of their own. Like children, they have no achievements and no accomplishments to offer or commend themselves with.”

So it is with those who are “most important” in the church. There is no job that is too menial for them to undertake. They are happy to serve even when no one recognizes them before the congregation. They are quick to volunteer when a need arises and never have to be pressed reluctantly into service. I think this is what Jesus had in mind when He told His disciples to pray, “Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” In heaven the will of God is done immediately, joyfully and without fanfare. When His kingdom comes on earth, that is the way members of His family will perform. In the meantime, the church should be emulating these heavenly practices.

Then Jesus told the disciples and those in the crowd that they should treat those who exemplified the humble faith of a child with favor. By doing so you will be favoring Christ Himself. On the other hand, should you become a stumbling block to such a one, you are in grave danger. The millstone Jesus spoke of was one so heavy that it took a donkey to pull it around the threshing floor. If such a stone were tied around someone’s neck and they were thrown into the sea, death was imminent.

Such behavior is expected from the unrepentant world, but should never be found among Christians. The matter of sin is so serious that Jesus used hyperbole to emphasize its gravity. He said that if any part of your physical body could cause you to sin, you are better off without it. Of course your hand or your foot or your eye can’t cause you to sin. They can be used by you for sinful purposes, but the cause of sin is the choice that you make. Sin always begins in your mind. That is the reason that Paul wrote in Romans 12:1-2 “Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.”

2. Relationships part 2 (vv 15-20)

Mt 18:15-20 “If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.”

The first point on relationships within the church dealt with behavior toward believers who have child like faith in God. In this point we are going to look at relationships within the Body of Christ and how to resolve conflicts. As long as a church is made up of people, there will be conflicts, even though both parties are Christians. There is only one acceptable way to deal with such issues and that is the way that Jesus Himself put forth. The goal is restoration of the offending brother or sister and not judgment. If step one is not effective, move to step two. If that is not effective then step three is necessary.

Go to the one who has sinned against you and seek to resolve the matter one-on-one. The goal is to “win your brother or sister”. That is to restore your relationship via forgiveness.

Step two is necessary if step one is not effective, “take one or more with you” in keeping with the principle of Dt 19:15 “One witness cannot establish any iniquity or sin against a person, whatever the person has done. A fact must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” These witnesses could have been eyewitnesses of the wrongdoing, or simply people who are there to witness your attempt to resolve the matter.

Step three us what is called Church Discipline which is largely overlooked today. Again reconciliation is the goal. Should they still refuse to reconcile, then they should be put on a prayer list of the unrepentant and every effort should be made to restore them while not retaining them as active members of the church. This step also involves “binding and loosing as mentioned in chapter 16.

The final part of relationships within the church involves prayer for direction regarding church discipline. This passage is generally taken out of context to cover any small group of people praying about anything. The context though tells us that Jesus is referring to the 2 or 3 witnesses praying for direction and guidance regarding church discipline.

3. Assignment (vv 10-14)

Now let’s jump back a few verses to discover the assignment that we all have as Christ followers.

Mt 18:10-14 ““See to it that you don’t despise one of these little ones, because I tell you that in heaven their angels continually view the face of my Father in heaven. What do you think? If someone has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, won’t he leave the ninety-nine on the hillside and go and search for the stray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over that sheep more than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. In the same way, it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones perish.”

This is similar to the parable of the lost sheep. The difference is that in the Luke 15:3-7 parable, the sheep wandered off on its on.

“So he told them this parable: “What man among you, who has a hundred sheep and loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open field and go after the lost one until he finds it? When he has found it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders, and coming home, he calls his friends and neighbors together, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, because I have found my lost sheep!’ I tell you, in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who don’t need repentance.”

In the Matthew account, the sheep was spurned or belittled and more or less driven away from the flock. The judgment on those who have done this is severe (see Mt 18:6 “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to fall away—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea.”

The bottom line is that every member of the church should be involved in seeking the straying sheep as well as the lost sheep (those who have never been part of the flock). The reconciliation of a stray or the salvation of the lost should be celebrated by the whole congregation.

Application: (How will I apply this to my life?)

If you have looked down on a new believer and have ostracized them, you must repent.

If someone in the church has sinned against you (offended you) you must take the initiative to go and seek to make things right. Mt 5:23-24 “So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”

If you have never surrendered your life to Christ, today should be that day when you pray, “Lord Jesus, I give you my life” and then come forward and tell me and the church what you have done.