Heffernan Wedding

Wedding Ceremony of Molly and Jeff Saturday, July 16, 2022

Bridal procession

“You may be seated”

Welcome:

Welcome. On behalf of Molly, Jeff, thank you for being here to celebrate the joining of these two in marriage.

My name is Tim, and I’ve known Molly and Jeff for abou 5 years now. I met then through my wife in college. We were dating at the time and since them we’ve been on our fair share of double dates with them. For some reason they all seem to be geared around competitive events in which Jeff is very good. From bowling to board games, he’s been beating me in double dates for years. I’m looking forward to the next event Jeff finds for a double date.

I will warn you, in taking with Jeff, he’s indicated that I have free reight on the length of the ceremony, since we have a captive audiencey… we SHOULD be done by dusk. Let’s pray.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, we have come to this time knowing that marriage was created by You and it brings you and your people joy. Thank You for Molly and Jeff and for Your plan that they become one, united with You. May this ceremony bring glory to You, Amen

Introduction: (Face Jeff/Molly)

The people gathered here today are here to help and support you. Not just today, but moving forward as well. You may not remember a word said here today, but you will remember how you felt. The loving people coming around you and the wonderful times that will be had. I want to encourage you to take every opportunity to soak it all in. Lock it into your memories!

***Face the audience*** Thank you all for taking the time to come and support them as we celebrate this wonderful moment.

You guys are here because you’re important to Molly and Jeff in their lives.

We all share different parts of their life. We all play a different role, met them in a different way, and have different ways of making them laugh... We are all sitting here today for a reason. I invite you to walk alongside them, and make the most positive impact yoiu can on their marriage. Help them well, each in your own unique way.

During hard times, lift them up. No matter how grim the situation, help them to focus on the positive even when it’s hard.

During good times, celebrate and be happy with them. Commemorate their achievements. Enjoy these times together.

Be there for them no matter what the situation.

Now lets talk a little bit about why we are here

Declaration of Intent:

Jeff, is it your intention to establish your family, receiving Molly as your wife, to make a home where she will be loved and cared for as long as God grants her life?

If so, please respond by saying: “It is”.

Molly, is it your intention to establish your family, receiving Jeff as your husband, to make a home where he will be loved and cared for as long as God grants him life?

If so, please respond by saying: “It is”.

Now let’s talk a bit about marriage. This illustration has served me well.

Message - Team illustration, Bible verses on marriage, and growing towards the “oneness” in marriage the Bible talks about) 1 Corinthians 13:7

Team illustration

I want to paint a picture for a moment Imagine the Cubs before the world series. Image the conversations they are having before the big game in the locker room. They’re not going to be pointing out all their team mates past faults. Instead they are going to be very intentional about encouraging one another and lifting them up. They’re going to speak like a team because they understtand the impact their words have.

Now couples have many similarities to athletes, however there are couples who tear into aone another, critisizing every mistake they make, however minor, then they expect a great and healthy marriage. They expect wonder womanwives, and superhero husbands, but speak to each other in private more like enemies than team mates.

If we expect our team mate, be it our 1st baseman, or spouse to perform at the highest level, we cannot constantly call attenditon to every fault, telling they always need to be better. That’s just not how it works. There is a healthy balance and we need to have open communiction, but it’s vital that couplese use their words in a way that shows they are on the same team rather than to pull each other down. Proverbs 18:21 teaches that wrods have the power of life and death.

If we choose to encourage, uplift and motivate our spouse, they have greater confidence through life, knowing the other has their back no matter what.

They will feel confident and secure in their relationship and be able to perform at the highest level, hnot feeling as if they are all alone in their marriage.

Couples must work as a team, having one anothers back, giving grace for faults where needed, if they expect to have a happy and healthy marriage. Doing so, avoids tearing the other down and helps them grow closer towards the oneness that God mentions in scripture.

Oneness

Genesis 2 speaks of this “oneness” in marriage. God speaks of a man leaving his parents and holding fast to his wife, and how through this process they become one. They push towards the same goals, have similar mindsets and work together in decision making processes. This is the ideal state that husbands and wives are to work towards. Each bringing the uniqueness of themselves together to contribute to the oneness that is marriage. So the goal here is to work towards the same goals and act as a team. The more you work as a team together, instead of striving separately, the closer you come together as one, as God’s design.

Roles

Scripture also talks of different roles in marriage. These can be wonderful if used within the parameters of God’s design, but they can cause huge challenges if applied improperly. God’s design is perfect, the problem is that we are the ones actually building from his design. Scripture speaks of wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives. This sounds very dangerous at first look, until we look where it has actually worked, and worked very well. The teaching of a wife submitting to a husband implies the husband as a leader. We have all seen examples of successful leadership. Consider Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandella, John F Kennedy. These leaders looked to the interests of their people, and were selfless. Poor leaders look to the interests of themselves and are selfish.

Additionally scripture teaches that husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved his people, the Church. What did Christ do? He sacrificed his entire life for the church, he died for the church. Scripture calls for husbands to be servant leaders, seeking to meet all needs of their wife.

Jeff, the Bible teaches husbands to love their wives and to lead their families well. Done according to God’s design, you will walk this out in the same manner that Christ leads the Church. You will consider her needs before your own, love her well, and partner with her in your marriage. You will avoid at all costs being a domineering leader. You will love and serve your family well.

Molly, the Bible teaches wives to submit to their husbands. Done according to God’s design, you will partner with him, not blindly submit to everything he says, but voicing your opinion when you disagree and talking things through. You will be willing to correct him when needed, but not try to take the reigns of leadership given to Jeff in God’s design.

Now that we’ve discussed the hard parts… again for you guys, lets talk about love.

A verse that means a lot to you both is 1 cor 13:7. It states that Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. It states that love never ends. Husbands will make mistakes as husbands do, couples will argue, but at the end of the day 1 truth remains… love. This is the secret ingredient that holds marriages together when everything else is falling apart. So long as you love one another and think about how Jesus loved the church, you will live a happy life - not free of trouble, but you will have peace through the struggles.

Lets talk a little bit about vows, over to the fun part.

Vows: (traditional) You have both chosen to exchange vows as part of your ceremony.

Wedding vows are a sacred promise, a solemn pledge and a personal commitment made between a bride and a groom in front of God, family and friends.

We’ll start with you, Jeff

So, with your hands joined, please look at each other and Jeff, repeat after me.

“I, Jeff take you Molly”

“To be my lawfully wedded wife”

“To have and to hold from this day forward”

“For better, for worse”

“For richer, for poorer”

“In sickness and in health”

“To love and to cherish, to have and to hold”

“From this day forward and until death do us part”

Molly, your up next.

“I, Molly take you Jeff”

“To be my lawfully wedded husband”

“To have and to hold from this day forward”

“For better, for worse”

“For richer, for poorer”

“In sickness and in health”

“To love and to cherish, to have and to hold”

“From this day forward and until death do us part”

Exchange of Rings:

Ask best man for rings

You will be giving rings to one another as a sign to the outside world of your love, commitment, and faithfulness to one another.

Though small in size, these rings have large significance. They are made of precious metal and that reminds us that love is not cheap or common. They are circles to remind us that love has no end.

As you wear these rings, whether your together or apart for even a moment, may they be a constant reminder of the vows and promises you’re making today.

Jeff – please take and place this ring on the ring finger of Molly’s left hand.

This ring is a symbol of your commitment and love, worn as a reminder to yourself and others.

Molly – please take and place this ring on the ring finger of Jeff’s left hand and repeat after me:

This ring is a symbol of your commitment and love, worn as a reminder to yourself and others.

May your commitment of love and faithfulness grow stronger with each passing year.

Let us bow our heads for prayer.

Prayer of Blessing:

Father, together we pray that You will bless this marriage. Help them minimize each other’s weaknesses, be quick to encourage and build up each other’s strengths and to see each other through loving and patient eyes.

May the LORD bless you and keep you;

May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; May He turn his face toward you and give you peace.

I repeat and declare over you today the words of Jesus: “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Amen!

Pronouncement of Marriage:

Jeff & Molly,

You have declared today, in the presence of God and in front of these witnesses, your love and commitment to one another. This moment marks the covenant between you, God and your spouse. It marks the end of your lives as individuals and the start of your lives as one. This is a momentous occasion, but is just the start of your journey. And what an exciting journey it is!

***SPICY SMIRK***

I think that’s just about enough talking, now it’s time for action.

Jeff, you may kiss your bride. (music starts)

And now – it is with great joy that I introduce…

Mr. and Mrs. Jeff & Molly Heffernan

After the ceremony - announcement that family should stay for pictures and all other guests can head back for cocktail hour

Additional notes, not to be included in sermon

When Israel did not submit to God, that is when bad things happened to them. This was when the heart posture of Israel was given to other gods and they even sacrificed children.

Additional verses related to submission

Gen 16:9 “9 The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress and submit to her.””

Ps 81:11 “11 “But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me.”

Rom 8:7 “7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.”

Rom 10:3 “3 For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness.”

God states in Galatians to not submit to the yoke of slavery

Gal 5:1 “1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

God tells us to not submit to the regulations of this world in Colossians

Col 2:20 “20 If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations—”

Word study on submission

Rom 8:7 “7 For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.”

We are called to submit to:

God

James 4:7 “7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Our leaders

Heb 13:17 “17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

One another

Eph 5:21 “21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Wives are called to submit to their husbands, but this comes 1 verse after we are called to submit to one another, and followed by how husbands are told to “love their wives as Christ loved the Church” and died for her.