Conflict Resolution

Genesis 33

Subject:​How was reconciliation achieved by Jacob and Esau?

Compl:​God’s hand at work through confrontation.

Cit:​Reconciliation was achieved by Jacob and Esau through the work of God’s hand by confrontation. 

HI:​If you’re following God’s will God will bring you to a place of reconciliation.

Introduction:

Since the beginning of time when man was created, we have seen conflict…

• Cain and Abel

• Jacob and Esau

• Joseph and his brothers

• Moses and Aaron and Miriam

• David and Saul

• Prophet and king

• King and kings 

• Paul and Barnabas

Conflict happens:

• In homes 

• With extended family

• In the workplace

• In neighborhoods

• In Friendships

• In churches 

Someone told the story of their grandmother telling them that the secret to a successful marriage was to never go to bed mad at each other. Then she explained that her grandmother has not slept since 1973. 

2. It has been said that there is no human relationship with conflict. 

Someone might know of an individual that never seems to have problems with anyone. I would guarantee that the only difference between that person and the people who openly struggle is how well they hide it. 

I. Jacob and Esau needed to be reconciled

Clear back in chapter 25 when we were first introduced to these boys, we found them fighting. 

Gen 25:22- And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the LORD.

4. We have been following the story of Jacob and Esau for many weeks now. One thing we know for certain is that there is much conflict between the two. 

A. These boys where very different

• One was smooth the other hairy

• One loved the outdoors while the other stayed close to home

• Isaac was fond of Esau and Rebekah was fond of Jacob

Our differences with others do now justify conflict. We need to allow for the fact that God did not make everyone exactly like us. 

• Men and woman are very different

• Two children from the same parents can be very different

• People with different spiritual gifts can be very different

Allow for the fact that some women love shopping while others do not. Some men like the outdoors while others do not. Our personality differences never justify conflict. 

But both had one thing in common they were both self-centered. 

UNIVERSAL TRUTH: Self-centeredness always breeds conflict. 

B. 20 Years and the wounds had not healed. 

People like to say that time heals all wounds. Mark my word “TIME HEALS NOTHING”. 

There is no human relationship without conflict and there is no resolution without confrontation.

Sweeping problems under the carpet thinking that they will magically go away is foolish and unrealistic. 

Illustration: there is a ditch on both sides of the road. I am not advocating that we confront every issue all the time. If so, we would never do anything but confront. 

• A good rule is to give it 48 hours and if it is still a “big deal” then it probably needs to be confronted. 

Most are thinking to themselves right now…”but I hate confrontation”. Very few people I have ever met like confrontation. 

LISTEN: Our dislike for it is not an excuse to run from it. 

C. Running from Conflict of yesterday steals the joy of today. 

This should have been one of the most exciting times in Jacob’s life. He was going home. He would soon find a land for himself and was becoming his own man. But failure to confront these years before stole his joy and placed a pressure on him that did not need to be there. 

Running from our problems is not the answer. 

II. The Reunion between the brothers

When Jacob saw that Esau was coming he took his family and divided them up places Rachel and Joseph at the end and led the way to face what was to come. 

A. This took courage verse 3

B. This took humility verse 3

Notice the result of not running. The result of humbling himself and having the courage to face his foe was that things were not near as bad as he had thought. 

Illustration: Thinking I should have tried something sooner because it was not near as difficult as I thought it would be. 

C. The very thing that was such a big deal turned out to be no big deal at all. God had blessed both of them in such a way that neither was in need of the inheritance. 

In other words the very thing they were fighting over was not worth fighting over.