Oh, That I May Have My Request

Review

The last two weeks we spent introducing our study of the book of Job. Last week we established that while Job never got his answer about his trials, that the ancients understood that God was under no obligation to explain himself. It is one of the perks to being the creator or the Universe. We saw Eliphaz bring an indictment against Job based on his understanding that God rewards the righteous and punishes the wicked. Scripture tells us that there is no one righteous, does that mean God punishes us for no reason? No, but does it mean that we deserve whatever punishment we get? Well, honestly yes, we live in a fallen world and sometimes situations will befall us that we don’t feel are fair, but if we consider that our righteousness is like filthy rags, then we have no place to complain.

That said, scripture is clear that there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but does it say there are no trials or suffering? No, in fact it tells us that we will have trials and suffering, but it also says that we will be comforted and that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

No Comfort for Job

This week we pick up the story with Job responding to Eliphaz’ entreaty.

Job 6:1–4 NKJV

Then Job answered and said: “Oh, that my grief were fully weighed, And my calamity laid with it on the scales! For then it would be heavier than the sand of the sea— Therefore my words have been rash. For the arrows of the Almighty are within me; My spirit drinks in their poison; The terrors of God are arrayed against me.

In these first four verses, Job is really digging in to his despair, he is being very explicit about the burden he is feeling, then he shifts to a set of interrogatives, or questions.

Job 6:5 NKJV

Does the wild donkey bray when it has grass, Or does the ox low over its fodder?

So, what is Job doing here? Well he’s setting up the main focus of this next passage, and it’s one that we as believers need to heed when we are ministering to anyone who is in the midst of a trial. Essentially, Job is putting on a clinic in crisis ministry.

Let’s take a look at what Job has to say.

We Must Minister to Basic Needs First

He starts out by saying that the ox and the donkey are perfectly fine and don’t complain as long as they are being fed. In other words, when their basic needs are met, they don’t complain. They carry on with their lives.

As long as someone is in anguish, they will not be able to hear what you say. How can you tell a homeless person who hasn’t eaten in days about the love of God when his belly is twisting and in great pain from the hunger? You can’t! Likewise the first thing we must do when ministering to someone is to make sure that their basic needs are met. Then, we can turn to their spiritual health.

What might this look like with a friend or family member who is suffering?

How Not to Minister to Someone Who is Suffering

Job 6:6–7 NKJV

Can flavorless food be eaten without salt? Or is there any taste in the white of an egg? My soul refuses to touch them; They are as loathsome food to me.

Next Job addresses the “food” that Eliphaz is attempting to feed him. The food of platitudes and empty knowledge. Here’s the thing, it is undoubtedly food, it probably has nourishment, I mean the words are all true are they not? We get down on Job’s friends because of what they say to him, but they’re not wrong in laying out their logic. Where they are wrong, and were so many of us go wrong is their administration. Isn’t our first inclination to start giving advice, or start quoting scripture and platitudes? Don’t we immediately play the trust God card? And while that is true, to goes down like unflavored egg white when you are in the midst of the trial or suffering. That kind of advice does nothing.

Why doesn’t this work?

We Can’t Know The Why

The reason this doesn’t work is that we have no way of knowing the why! Can you offer platitudes or simply say, “just trust God” to someone who has suffered deep traumas in their life, especially if they may have suffered similar traumas in childhood?

We don’t know why people are suffering so deeply!

We also cannot judge the level of faith or wisdom of a person going through a trauma.

Job 6:10–13 (NJV)

Let still be my consolation,

let me exult in pain that does not spare,

that I have not denied the words of the Holy One.

What is my strength, that I should wait?

What is my end that I should be patient?

Is my strength the strength of stones?

Or is my flesh of bronze?

Is it not that I have no help in me, that wisdom is driven quite from me?

What is he saying here? Job is laying out his case. He says, “You know what people? I have been suffering an unending pain here. What is the point of it? To make me patient? Is it to make me as solid as a rock? Is it to get me thick skin? What is it? Do you really think I have no faith in me? No wisdom in me, that it was somehow driven out of me?

Can you see how lecturing somebody who is going through a trial even if it’s well intentioned can be so counter productive? I’ve often mentioned that I would get particularly offended by platitudes when I was going through my divorce! Oh my goodness it was so amazingly frustrating! I know I have to trust in God! What do you think I’m doing, that doesn’t stop the hurt man. I can’t just buck up and put a smile on to keep you from feeling uncomfortable!

Church, we can’t offer platitudes, we can’t even preach to someone who is going through it. No we have to find some other way to minister to those who are suffering.

How to Minister to the Suffering

Job then, takes a pause from his suffering to offer up some wisdom to his friends. He says:

Job 6:14 (NKJV)

“To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend,

Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

Treat Them With Mercy

Do you see that word - kindness?

Weaksauce! English is such a precise and limited language. That word in Hebrew is:

חָ֑סֶד

Chesed

This is the same word that is translated as mercy in other parts of scripture, but I want to tell you, this is one of those words that once you know what it means, it makes you never want to use the English word again, and I’m sure you’ll here me use this word from time to time because I have fallen in love with it.

We’ve all heard mercy and grace described this way, grace is God giving you what you don’t deserve and mercy is God not giving you what you do deserve? How many of you have heard this before? Well, chesed is not just the simple forgiveness of sin, or withholding the punishment that is deserved from disobeying one of God’s laws, It is the gracious forgiveness that comes from love that is so enduring that it persists beyond any sin, always seeking to forgive and enduring to eternity. Chesed is to love as God love, and ultimately, the fullness of chesed is embodied in the incarnation of Messiah Yeshua.

The bottom line saints, is that people that are going through a trial just want to be loved! They just want to be heard, they just want to by sympathized with.

Romans 12:9–13 NKJV

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.

And not just the people whose faith is strong too. Look at what Job says at the end of verse 14

Job 6:14 NKJV

“To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

EVEN THOUGH HE FORSAKES THE FEAR OF THE ALMIGHTY

Saints, I cannot stress this enough! We go back to the beginning of Job when he says your platitudes - your words - they may be true, but they have no value to me. They are like flavorless food and I will reject them. When somebody is going through it, just love them. They are not going to get saved when they are hurting like that, but loving them through it will cause them to trust you and make them more inclined to turn to you when they are in a position to receive anything you have to say, and that includes the Gospel!

Galatians 6:1–2 NKJV

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

This is a fulfilment of the Torah of Messiah. Think about it, how often do we see Jesus, Yeshua dealing with a person’s need before he deals with the sin.

John 8:7–11 NKJV

So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Jesus dealt with the woman’s immediate need first. And what a need it was, it was life or death for her!

Matthew 25:44–45 NKJV

“Then they also will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?’ Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’

Do Not Hide or Play Dumb

Job 6:15–18 NKJV

My brothers have dealt deceitfully like a brook, Like the streams of the brooks that pass away, Which are dark because of the ice, And into which the snow vanishes. When it is warm, they cease to flow; When it is hot, they vanish from their place. The paths of their way turn aside, They go nowhere and perish.

This seems like a no-brainer, but you know as well as I do that being around someone who is going through suffering is not an easy thing. It makes us uncomfortable. It makes us feel vulnerable. Job even acknowledges this in verse 21

Job 6:21 NKJV

For now you are nothing, You see terror and are afraid.

Teach, Don’t Reprove

This seems like what we discussed previously. About not lecturing or giving platitudes, but it was important enough to be repeated. With an addition. If you have some soothing counsel to add about the trial, if you have something to offer in the form of helping to lift up somebody’s faith, then offer that but by all means do not reprove. Loot at what he says:

Job 6:24–27 NKJV

“Teach me, and I will hold my tongue; Cause me to understand wherein I have erred. How forceful are right words! But what does your arguing prove? Do you intend to rebuke my words, And the speeches of a desperate one, which are as wind? Yes, you overwhelm the fatherless, And you undermine your friend.

We certainly don’t want to be seen as overwhelming our friend. So many times we go in with good intentions like Job, wanting to find a solution for our friends who are suffering, wanting to give them an answer for their pain, and we cannot. Church this is not the time to try to give them a reason for why God is allowing this to happen because quite frankly unless you are a seasoned prophet you probably don’t know. But even if you are a prophet, you need to be teaching in a loving way full of chesed.

Job’s Lament

The Ecclesiastes Connection

Job ends this exchange with Eliphaz with a lament, in which he hearkens to the future musings of the preacher in Ecclesiastes. Listen to this:

Job 7:1–10 NKJV

“Is there not a time of hard service for man on earth? Are not his days also like the days of a hired man? Like a servant who earnestly desires the shade, And like a hired man who eagerly looks for his wages, So I have been allotted months of futility, And wearisome nights have been appointed to me. When I lie down, I say, ‘When shall I arise, And the night be ended?’ For I have had my fill of tossing till dawn. My flesh is caked with worms and dust, My skin is cracked and breaks out afresh. “My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, And are spent without hope. Oh, remember that my life is a breath! My eye will never again see good. The eye of him who sees me will see me no more; While your eyes are upon me, I shall no longer be. As the cloud disappears and vanishes away, So he who goes down to the grave does not come up. He shall never return to his house, Nor shall his place know him anymore.

Now compare that with

Ecclesiastes 1:3–8 NKJV

What profit has a man from all his labor In which he toils under the sun? One generation passes away, and another generation comes; But the earth abides forever. The sun also rises, and the sun goes down, And hastens to the place where it arose. The wind goes toward the south, And turns around to the north; The wind whirls about continually, And comes again on its circuit. All the rivers run into the sea, Yet the sea is not full; To the place from which the rivers come, There they return again. All things are full of labor; Man cannot express it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor the ear filled with hearing.

Just Leave Me Alone

At this point Job just wants to be left alone rather than endure this “encouragement” from his friends.

Job 7:16 NKJV

I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, For my days are but a breath.

But he’s not just talking to his friends at this point, he’s talking to God. The moral of the story? His friends and all their good intentions were making it so that he didn’t want to hear about God, he didn’t even want to hear from God now. How do we know that? Because he begins to deconstruct Psalm 8.

Psalm 8:4–8 NKJV

What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, And You have crowned him with glory and honor. You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet, All sheep and oxen— Even the beasts of the field, The birds of the air, And the fish of the sea That pass through the paths of the seas.

Now compare it to Job 7:17-21

Job 7:17–21 NKJV

“What is man, that You should exalt him, That You should set Your heart on him, That You should visit him every morning, And test him every moment? How long? Will You not look away from me, And let me alone till I swallow my saliva? Have I sinned? What have I done to You, O watcher of men? Why have You set me as Your target, So that I am a burden to myself? Why then do You not pardon my transgression, And take away my iniquity? For now I will lie down in the dust, And You will seek me diligently, But I will no longer be.”

Putting it All Together

If we are to minister to those who are going through a calamitous trial, then we must be very thoughtful in how we do so.

We must first minister to their basic needs, and until we do so, anything we say will be empty, and speaking of empty platitudes and carelessly quoting scriptures at them even though the Word is true, doesn’t do anything except annoy them, because we can’t know their relationship with God or even why they are going through what they are going. No church, if we are going to be effective at bringing the peace of God to a difficult situation, we must instead learn to treat people with Chesed, and to be present for them! Yes it can be uncomfortable, but it is so important.

Finally if we have something that is comforting or faith building to share do so with chesed, but do not rebuke lest we drive those who really need God away from him.