Jesus and Paul on Divorce

Series: “The Gospel Truth”

Text; Mt 19:1-12; 1 Cor 7:10-15

Introduction: (What?)

Many pastors cringe when it comes to preaching on such passages as we will look at today. The problem of divorce is almost as prevalent within the church as in the world. There are just a few percentage points difference. However, Jesus was quite clear when He was asked about the subject. We saw His answers to the Scribes and Pharisees in Mark 9. Today we look at how Matthew recorded the same conversation.

Examination: (Why?)

1. Marriage is a covenant under God (Mt 19:1-6; Gen 2:20-24; Eph 5:22-23)

In order to address the subject of divorce we must first understand what constitutes marriage. Jesus addressed that in Mt 19:1-6 “When Jesus had finished saying these things, he departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” As He often did, He referenced the OT writings in His answer to the Pharisees. Specifically here He quoted from Genesis. In Gen. 2:20-24 “The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the sky, and to every wild animal; but for the man no helper was found corresponding to him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to come over the man, and he slept. God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh at that place. Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.”

It is that last part that Jesus quoted, but the first part gives the context for marriage. We also note that Adam who was speaking regarding woman, was not the one who uttered the last words of this text, since he had neither a human mother or father. That was added by the author of Genesis (Moses) under the leadership of the Holy Spirit. Thus we see the plan of God for marriage is a man, united with a woman to the degree that they become two parts of a whole.

Paul elaborated on Biblical marriage in Eph 5:15- 28 “Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise—making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves His wife loves himself.”

Then summing it up Paul said in Eph 5:31-33 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.”

People often get hung up on the admonition to wives to submit to their husbands. However, please note that v 21 calls for mutual submission in the fear of Christ. Also note that the admonition to husbands is far more stringent because they are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her.

2. God regulates divorce (Mt 19:7-9; 1 Cor 7:10-15)

Just as God instituted marriage, He also regulates divorce. There are only two biblical reasons for which divorce is allowed. Notice that I said allowed and not commanded. The Pharisees said that Moses had “commanded” them concerning divorce. Jesus called their hand on that and corrected them.

Mt 19:7-9 “Why then,” they asked him, “did Moses command us to give divorce papers and to send her away?” He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts, but it was not like that from the beginning. I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.” In these times only men could divorce their wives, not vice versa, consequently Jesus responded to them as the ones who would perpetrate divorce. Today things are different in that women can and do sue for divorce. Our pagan society has made it so easy that divorce can be consummated from your computer, without even confronting one another. (Cliff’s story)

Paul, in writing to the church at Corinth, added another scriptural basis for divorce in 1 Cor 7:10-15 “To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. (separation; J. McArthur says that “leaving” is synonymous with divorce ) But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to divorce his wife. But I (not the Lord) say to the rest: If any brother has an unbelieving wife and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce her husband. For the unbelieving husband is made holy by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy by the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.” It appears that Paul adds abandonment as a legitimate reason for divorce and remarriage. Notice that Paul emphasized that he was giving the command, not God. We assume that Paul was writing under the direction of the Holy Spirit, and thus this bears spiritual weight.

Many ask if abuse is biblical grounds for divorce. It is not specifically mentioned in scripture, however, the idea of breaking the covenant is mentioned in scripture. Abuse and neglect (abandonment) would both be breaking the marriage covenant in which a husband has sworn to protect, provide for and love his wife.

3. Repentance brings redemption to divorce (Matt 12:31-32; 1 John 1:9)

We must face the fact that divorce is rampant in our society. While it is against God’s plan for marriage, it need not keep a person from salvation. According to scripture there is only one sin for which there is no forgiveness, and which will lead to eternal separation from God. Mt 12:31-32 “Therefore, I tell you, people will be forgiven every sin and blasphemy, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the one to come.”

This is what is commonly called “the unpardonable sin”. While divorce is a sin, it is not unpardonable. That being true, divorce falls in the same category as Prov 6:16-19 “The Lord hates six things; in fact, seven are detestable to him: arrogant eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet eager to run to evil, a lying witness who gives false testimony, and one who stirs up trouble among brothers.” And we could add to that what tradition calls “the seven deadly sins”

Lust

Gluttony

Greed

Sloth

Wrath

Envy

Pride

Each of these, while sins, are forgivable as is divorce. The action(s) which bring forgiveness are confession and repentance. I often quote to you 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Notice 2 very small words… “if” and “all”. Forgiveness is available IF we confess and repent, and ALL sins (unrighteousness) except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit are forgiven and we are restored. Be aware also that if your divorce took place BEFORE you became a Christian, you are already forgiven, because all sins previous to salvation are forgiven at the moment of salvation.

Application: (How should I apply this message in my life?)

Have you surrendered your life to Christ? If not, that must happen before any sin is forgiven.

If you are divorced and remarried as a Christian, you must acknowledge your divorce as sin even if you were an unwilling participant, repent of it, and you will be forgiven.

If you still harbor ill will against a former spouse, you must forgive them from your heart to be free from bitterness.