Royals Week 2-Humble
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VIDEO | Lebron James Postgame Interview
It's a little weird to insist you're the best when you've just lost, but there's a guy who goes by the name of "King James" who once did just that. After a major loss for the Cleveland Cavaliers, here's what he said.
Lebron James Video
It takes some serious confidence to say you're the best immediately after a loss. Some of you might say he's right. Some of you might say he's arrogant. But either way, you and I might get ourselves into trouble if we walked around with an attitude like Lebron's. Most of the time, that kind of attitude doesn't get you respect or friends. It gets you labeled as arrogant. Maybe you don't walk around telling people you're the best, but arrogance can show up in other ways, like . . .
Thinking your opinions are always right.
Refusing to admit you could be wrong.
Thinking you deserve credit, respect, or certain positions and opportunities.
Always trying to be in charge.
Believing you know best, even when you don't.
SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?
STORY | Talk about a time when you thought you knew best (but you didn't).
INSTRUCTIONS: Tell a story from your own life (or ask a volunteer or student to tell a story) when you were really confident your opinion, knowledge, or understanding of a situation was right — until you found out it wasn't. Emphasize how confident you were that you knew best. Then share what happened when you were confronted with the fact that you were wrong.
Rec Center Pic
When I was in college, my friend Brad and I would play basketball at the MTSU rec center EVERY DAY.
There were always pickup games going on, and it was a lot of fun playing all the time.
And we were pretty good… not the best, but better than most out there.
One night, we were at this party near campus when a couple of friends of ours were talking trash saying they would beat Brad and I in a 2v2.
These dudes looked un-athletic and out of shape, so we just laughed at them and said “aight bet, we’ll see what’s up tomorrow morning.”
So the next morning we went to the rec center, bet a certain amount of money on this game, (this was my pre-Jesus days), and started playing against these dudes.
What happened next was the most humbling 30 minutes of my life.
I still don’t know how, but these out of shape dudes beat us and took our money (and our pride!).
We couldn’t hit a shot to save our lives, and they hit us with all these old man post moves that we couldn’t stop.
Brad and I were sure we would win, but we were dead wrong.
There are a lot of reasons why we might think we know best, even when we don't. Maybe it's because we're . . .
Misinformed.
Missing some important information.
Still young!
I’m not saying adults always know better than you just because they're older — I'm just saying as we gain more experience and wisdom, we often realize some things aren't as simple as we once thought they were.
OBJECT LESSON | The Crown
Last week, we started a new series about some famous kings in Scripture.
So far, we've talked about King David and the mistakes he made when he was in charge. Today I want to introduce you to a second person. He never actually became king, but he sure tried.
INSTRUCTIONS: Building on your object lesson from Week 1, reveal the second crown in your collection. Pick it up whenever you talk about royalty or Absalom's rebellion. When you get to the part of the story where Absalom dies, either crush the crown or discard it and leave the pillow empty for the rest of the series.
Kings of Israel
A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE KINGS
Around 3,000 years ago, the nation of Israel got its first king.
For a long time, Israel didn't have an official human ruler because it was led by God. But eventually, the Israelites decided they knew better than God did and demanded a king. They wanted a human leader to rule them, just like all the other nations had. So God gave the Israelites what they asked for. First there was King Saul, whose crown passed to David when Saul disobeyed God.
God chose David to wear the crown, wield the power, and care for God's people. And David did — for a while. Eventually, David got sidetracked and used his power as king to hurt people, instead of lead and protect people. David's mistakes had big consequences.
One of those consequences was this: David's relationship with his son, Absalom wasn't great.
Here's what you need to know about Absalom:
He was David's third son, which meant he was in line for the throne, but wasn't next in line. He was really good-looking. Everyone loved him. He was even called "flawless."
SCRIPTURE | II Samuel 15:1-14
But all of that wasn't enough for Absalom. Maybe his good looks and popularity went to his head, because Absalom wanted more. He wanted the crown. INSTRUCTIONS: Read or summarize
II Samuel 15:1-14
In the course of time, Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him. He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, “What town are you from?” He would answer, “Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel.” Then Absalom would say to him, “Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you.” And Absalom would add, “If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that they receive justice.”
Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him. Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the people of Israel.
At the end of four years, Absalom said to the king, “Let me go to Hebron and fulfill a vow I made to the Lord. While your servant was living at Geshur in Aram, I made this vow: ‘If the Lord takes me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.’ ”
The king said to him, “Go in peace.” So he went to Hebron.
Then Absalom sent secret messengers throughout the tribes of Israel to say, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpets, then say, ‘Absalom is king in Hebron.’ ” Two hundred men from Jerusalem had accompanied Absalom. They had been invited as guests and went quite innocently, knowing nothing about the matter. While Absalom was offering sacrifices, he also sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, to come from Giloh, his hometown. And so the conspiracy gained strength, and Absalom’s following kept on increasing.
A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the people of Israel are with Absalom.”
Then David said to all his officials who were with him in Jerusalem, “Come! We must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom. We must leave immediately, or he will move quickly to overtake us and bring ruin on us and put the city to the sword.”
Absalom was so convinced he could be a better king than David that he decided to take the kingdom by force.
First, he surrounded himself with chariots, horses, and soldiers so he'd seem impressive to the people and intimidating to his father. Then he got sneaky. He gave himself a position of authority and began listening to people's needs — not to serve them, but to cause trouble. Then he began to turn people away from King David. He stirred up dissatisfaction with the king's leadership by telling people David wouldn't listen to them, but if he were king, he would. Then he got manipulative. He used his looks, charm, and personality to appeal to the people of Israel. But once again, Absalom didn't do this out of love for them, but out of arrogance and a hunger for power. It's no surprise Absalom gained the support of the masses. He was clever (and cute). When the last pieces of his conspiracy finally came together, he made his final move.
Absalom gathered 200 men and David's advisor to go with him to a place called Hebron, which was the very center of David's kingdom. There, Absalom began his rebellion. King David, convinced of the hopelessness of his cause and anxious to spare the city from destruction, fled and began preparing to meet his son in battle.
SCRIPTURE | II Samuel 18:1-15, 31-33
Let's take a look at what happened when David and Absalom's armies finally confronted each other.
INSTRUCTIONS: Read or summarize II Samuel 18:1-15 This story is heartbreaking. In the mess, we see a glimpse of David's character, which is completely unlike Absalom's.
David mustered the men who were with him and appointed over them commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. David sent out his troops, a third under the command of Joab, a third under Joab’s brother Abishai son of Zeruiah, and a third under Ittai the Gittite. The king told the troops, “I myself will surely march out with you.”
But the men said, “You must not go out; if we are forced to flee, they won’t care about us. Even if half of us die, they won’t care; but you are worth ten thousand of us. It would be better now for you to give us support from the city.”
The king answered, “I will do whatever seems best to you.”
So the king stood beside the gate while all his men marched out in units of hundreds and of thousands. The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, “Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders.
David’s army marched out of the city to fight Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. There Israel’s troops were routed by David’s men, and the casualties that day were great—twenty thousand men. The battle spread out over the whole countryside, and the forest swallowed up more men that day than the sword.
Now Absalom happened to meet David’s men. He was riding his mule, and as the mule went under the thick branches of a large oak, Absalom’s hair got caught in the tree. He was left hanging in midair, while the mule he was riding kept on going.
When one of the men saw what had happened, he told Joab, “I just saw Absalom hanging in an oak tree.”
Joab said to the man who had told him this, “What! You saw him? Why didn’t you strike him to the ground right there? Then I would have had to give you ten shekels of silver and a warrior’s belt.”
But the man replied, “Even if a thousand shekels were weighed out into my hands, I would not lay a hand on the king’s son. In our hearing the king commanded you and Abishai and Ittai, ‘Protect the young man Absalom for my sake.’ And if I had put my life in jeopardy—and nothing is hidden from the king—you would have kept your distance from me.”
Joab said, “I’m not going to wait like this for you.” So he took three javelins in his hand and plunged them into Absalom’s heart while Absalom was still alive in the oak tree. And ten of Joab’s armor-bearers surrounded Absalom, struck him and killed him.
Then the Cushite arrived and said, “My lord the king, hear the good news! The Lord has vindicated you today by delivering you from the hand of all who rose up against you.”
The king asked the Cushite, “Is the young man Absalom safe?”
The Cushite replied, “May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up to harm you be like that young man.”
The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”
David sought to protect Absalom when he was alive and mourned him in his death. But Absalom's arrogance and selfishness caused pain and death for others and himself. Absalom's pride convinced him he knew best. He thought he could be a better king than David and convinced himself he deserved it. But Absalom never stopped to consider that maybe . . .
He wasn't ready.
He was missing something.
There would be consequences he'd regret.
There was a reason God chose David to be king instead of him.
It's not a great idea to try to overthrow God's plans.
SCRIPTURE | Matthew 23:12
So what could Absalom have done instead? He could have chosen humility. "Humility" isn't thinking badly of yourself or denying you have any awesome skills or qualities. Humility is . . .
Thinking of yourself less often.
Knowing you don't know everything.
Being willing to learn or be corrected.
There's a moment in Scripture when Jesus tries to help His disciples understand this.
For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
I'm guessing you've never tried to "exalt" yourself by overthrowing a kingdom, but be honest. Like Absalom, have you ever been a little blinded by your own confidence, self-centeredness, or pride? Yeah, me too.
So here's some advice for next time:
WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW BEST, BE HUMBLE INSTEAD.
WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW BEST, BE HUMBLE INSTEAD.
NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?
VIDEO | Nelson Mandela on Humility
There aren't many kings, queens, rulers, or world leaders who are known for their humility, but there is one who comes to mind. Nelson Mandela was a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary, political leader, and philanthropist who served as President of South Africa from 1994 to 1999. Before becoming President of South Africa, he was imprisoned for 27 years because of his anti-racism work.
Mandela Interview
Mandela could have done an entire interview talking about himself and his achievements, yet he focused on something bigger. He moved the focus away from himself and toward a vision of people doing something that matters, together — no matter who gets the credit.
HOW TO BE HUMBLE
Choosing to be humble won't always be the popular choice, but it's the best choice. It's how Jesus taught us to live, and it's what followers of God have learned over and over again is the wisest way to live. Just like King David got distracted by his power, Wannabe-King Absalom got distracted by his arrogance. His confidence that he knew best led him to do things he would never have done if he had stayed humble. So how can we be humble instead of arrogant?
IDENTIFY YOUR ARROGANCE:
It's okay, we're all a little arrogant sometimes. The key is being able to see when, where, and why we're acting arrogantly so we can make a change.
THINK OF YOURSELF LESS OFTEN:
The famous writer C.S. Lewis once said a humble person "will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all." I'm not saying you need to never think about yourself or pretend you don't exist. That's impossible. And weird. But when you catch yourself thinking about how awesome you are:
THINK ABOUT OTHERS:
Absalom only thought of others when he could use them for his own gain. If you don't want to be like Absalom, think about others. How might your attitude, words, desires, or actions impact other people? Instead of helping yourself, how can you help someone else?
THINK ABOUT GOD:
Absalom was so busy making his own self-serving plans that he never considered what God wanted. Instead of trying to get what you want or think is best, what would God want or say is best? How can you be part of what God wants, instead of trying to get God to give you what you want?
KNOW YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING:
Absalom was confident he was the right person for the throne, but there was a lot he didn't know. It doesn't matter how old you are — you always have more to learn. You might think you know best, but maybe you're not ready. Maybe you're missing some information. Maybe you haven't weighed every option. Maybe you can't foresee the consequences. Maybe God already has a plan and you just haven't grasped it yet.
BE WILLING TO LEARN:
I wonder what would have happened if Absalom had been real with his dad and asked, "If I want to be king someday, what do I need to know? What do I need to do?" Would all of this have been avoided? Would David have taken Absalom under his wing and trained him to be the next king? We'll never know.
REFLECTION | Confident and Humble
Absalom had the "confidence" thing down, but he was missing the "humility" thing. The secret is to find a balance.
BE CONFIDENT: If you really are the best basketball player in the world (like Lebron), or you're super good-looking and charming (like Absalom), humility doesn't mean denying those things are true. You can recognize what's great about you and be confident in the skills, knowledge, experience, and insight God has given you.
But . . . BE HUMBLE: Because no matter how much you have to be confident about, there's still a lot God has to teach you. When you know you've still got a ways to go, you can put yourself in a better position to learn and grow. When you're humble, instead of believing you know best, you're more likely to . . .
Learn something new. Grow in your relationships with others. Grow in your faith. Be used by God to do something bigger than you.
