Questions Jesus Asks: A Friend Whose Willing to Challenge Us

Introduction: Jesus asks a lot of questions

We're teaching a series of messages around the questions Jesus asked… If you've ever read through the gospels, one of the things you'll notice is the way Jesus interacts with people…he asks a ton of questions!

One author observed that in the gospels we see Jesus asked 307 questions. He was asked 183 questions. and he directly answered only 3 of these questions.

Jesus’ questions people to get at what’s under the surface. His questions are designed to help us pay attention to what’s really going on inside of us, to where our motivations lie, to what we have really aligned our lives around… his questions are subtly working uncover our deepest longings and to reorient our longings towards him, because that’s actually the best thing for us!

As we've highlighted in these messages, Jesus’ questions are designed to poke at us a bit, to force us into getting off the fence we so often find ourselves sitting on… the fence of wanting to follow Jesus but not wanting to rearrange my life to do so. His questions don’t let us stay on the middle. His questions force clarity about who we give allegiance to.

Let’s be honest for a moment… I’m not sure Jesus was the sort of friend any of us would really want.

High on the list of our current friendship values are affirmation and non-judgmentalism

If we're honest, we are looking for friends who help us pursue our own good—no matter we have predetermined our own good to be.

We want friends who will help us get to where we want to be, friends who will help us overcome obstacles on the path we have chosen in life.

We want our friends to be completely affirming and absolutely non-judgmental…right?

We'd generally agree with Psychology Today as it lists non-judgmentalism as a key quality of a real friend.

non-judgementalism is "our ease in accepting a friend's choices, regardless of how they may differ from our own."

James Mumford, Finding Brutal Friends, Comment Magazine, 2022

"The true friend does not impose her own agenda. She is understanding and tolerant, accommodating and empowering. We put this premium on non-judgmentalism because we think this is the only way friendship can be genuinely altruistic. That’s the root ethic. Only by helping me pursue my own good can a friend care about me for my own sake. Anything else, we think, would fall short of the ideal of regard for others."

BTW, James goes on to write this:

"Now, this picture of friendship is attractive, compelling, and widespread. It’s also completely flawed."

Jesus crosses all sorts of our boundaries

As we've read through the gospels together as a church (we just finished up a months-long study through the gospel of Mark) Jesus seemed to be less about trying to impress you as a potential friend, less about working to win your trust, less about trying to earn your respect… rather, his entire focus seems to be about helping you see life from his point of view—a view he calls the kingdom of God—a view that he's predetermined is the best way for you to approach life.

He definitely doesn's appear to be at "ease in accepting a friend's choices, regardless of how they may differ from his own."

When someone wants to follow, but first has something to take care of a family matter…“let the dead bury their own dead”

Matthew 8:21–22 “Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.” But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.””

When a wealthy young man comes to Jesus, asking what good thing do i need to do to get eternal life? Jesus responds, "Why do you call me good?" (and before the dude has a chance to answer) "What do the commandments say?" After the young man recites the commandments and responds by saying he's kept them, Jesus, "Oh one more thing, go sell everything you've got, give it all to the poor, then come follow me…"

Matthew 19:16–22 “Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’” “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?” Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.”

Jesus' interactions, his way of being a friend, his way of asking questions is constantly challenging to his followers, and to us if we're listening. He is completely willingness to risk the friendship in order to tell us the truth—all of this is because he cares more about us and our flourishing, than about us rejecting him.

Today I want to look at one particular interaction… one where Jesus answers a question with a question (annoying), and when asked a follow up question, he responds with a fictional story and then another question (double annoying). Talk about a lack of direct answers!

And what I want us to do is consider three things:

Will you allow Jesus to challenge you?

Will we allow Jesus to ask us these kinds of questions, which might just lead to a healthier, more flourishing life?

How does God offer these kinds of challenges today? Through the presence of Christ, the very presence of God, through the challenge of the Holy Spirit—and most often through the challenge of our friends and neighbors. Will you allow yourself to be challenged?

Will we be the kind of friend that is willing to offer challenge to others?

And the challenge from this particular interaction, will you take the risk to compassionately engage with our neighbors in need?

This is gonna be good!

Luke 10:25–37 (NIV) — 25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Notice with me how this entire interaction is built on suspicion… a lawyer, an expert in religious law is publicly testing Jesus. This fella knew what the answer to his question was, he not seeking information to make his life better. Not at all.

Can I just make a personal observation: I’ve been following Jesus for a bunch of years, and I’ve been a leader and a pastor in the church for many of those years… I can no longer count the number of times church folks have asked me this same question!

I know what’s going on, it can often come from a good place…they want to see if this is a good church, if I’m a leader they can agree with. Do I believe the right stuff?

Listen, I wouldn’t attend, or lead, a church that doesn’t believe in the life, the sacrificial death on the cross for our sins, and in the resurrection from the dead of the Lord Jesus Christ…and that putting our trust/faith/confidence in him is the only way to a flourishing life with God and with one another—that’s the beginning of the gospel, the good news.

I completely understand the proper motivation of this kind of testing…

But, have you discovered that believing something and actually doing/living what you believe are worlds apart.

What’s something that you know is good for you, but you just don’t do? We all have lists of things that fit into this category! (If nothing comes to mind immediately, just ask a family member, they’ll tell you!)

26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

Here’s that annoying habit… Jesus is answering a question with a question

You’re the expert, what do you think?

27 He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

The expert quotes the most common answer from contemporary Jewish tradition

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”

Great answer. Just do that, you’ll be fine. All done. Next…

Jesus doesn’t immediately engage deeper, even though we all know there was a deeper conversation to have. He allows this man to ask the question he wants.

Remember the first week of the series? “What do you want?” is the question underneath all the other questions. What do you really, really want?

I love the way Jesus interacts with a high degree of self-differentiation, a willingness to engage on whatever level he wants to engage on.

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

But he wanted to justify himself… (de-ki-o) to demonstrate or prove that that something is morally right, or in this case, that I'm right, to look good in front of others.

Is the expert now on the defensive publicity? Why else would he need to justify himself?

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.

Jesus often taught using fictional stories, stories that reveal something much deeper, something going on below the surface.

31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

…a Samaritan…

This was a group of people who believed they were the true descendants of Israel and keepers of the Torah. During the time of the New Testament, their chief religious site was Mount Gerizim. The Samaritans believed that the Jerusalem temple and priesthood were illegitimate.

Samaritan means “keeper of the law”

The Jewish people generally hated the Samaritan’s, early writing talks about “the foolish people who live in Shechem are “not even a people”

The wounded man was Jewish. The priest and the Levite were Jewish leaders. The expert in the law who is asking and testing Jesus is Jewish. Jesus himself, and all of his disciples are Jewish.

But in Jesus’ fictional story, he makes the central figure, the one who stops and cares for the wounded man from his own resources—that man is the one the Jews despised.

And his motivation for taking care of the wounded man…

σπλαγχνίζομαι – compassion/pity

sploch--ni-zo-my. – to feel deeply, viscerally, in. the bowels, to experience great affection towards…

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

Jesus is now, at the completion of his story, answers the question with one of his own.

Remember the first question: “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

And the second: “who is my neighbor?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Both times Jesus lead the expert to answer his own questions. Jesus directs him back to what he already knows. Jesus challenges him to not only believe the right stuff, but to put it into practice.

Here are my three questions for us to consider?

Will we allow Jesus, and our friends to ask us the uncomfortable questions which might lead to a flourishing life?

Jesus… the Holy Spirit is not embarrassed to ask you the tough questions.

If someone is truly concerned about your well-being, they will be very willing to ask you tough questions, to challenge you in ways that, though painful at the time, will lead you toward health.

We tend to think of true friends as the ones who will support, encourage, and affirm us. But what if there’s more, much more.

Don’t get me wrong, i love affirmation as much as anyone! But we need friends who refuse to accept us as we are, friends who challenge or coax us to be better than we currently are.

We need friends who don’t just help us reach our pre-established goals, they help us to determine if our goals are actually worth reaching!

The bible has much to say about being open to correction:

Proverbs 10:17 (NIV) — 17 Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.

Proverbs 12:1 (NIV) — 1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.

What are the tough questions that God might ask you? How might he ask you through the scripture? How might he ask you through your family? How might he ask you through a really good friend?

Here’s another key thought, Jesus is much more than a friend…never forget that he the Lord of all that exists.

[Maybe use this passsage??]

Colossians 1:15–20 (NIV) — 15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Will we become the kind of friend who will take the risk to help others toward a truly flourishing life?

To be true friend is to be willing to risk rejection. We take the risk because we want to help others become the most healthy version of ourselves in a healthy community.

What if your own transformation isn’t only your personal business, what if your own transformation is also your friend’s business? …this is if they’re a truly deeply invested friend.

I’m not suggesting a coercive, or over-controlling kind of engaging with one another—forcibly imposing our agendas on one another.

Rather, God is inviting us to participate with him in our own transformation, and what if we saw ourselves as joint-participants with each other in our lives together.

Have you read the letters of the New Testament to the churches, the letters from the apostles Paul, or Peter, or James? In healthy biblical community We lovingly challenge one another to be the people we know God is forming us all to become.

How might your fear of rejection be keeping you from being a truly helpful friend to someone else?

How have you lacked the courage lately to be a true friend to someone else? How might you reorient toward a more healthy friendship.

Will I commit to cultivating a deep compassion for those I disagree with?

In Jesus’ interaction, this guy’s biggest struggle was wanting to limit the scope of who he considered to be his neighbor; to limit the scope of his responsibility.

Let’s suppose he’s asking the question, “Who am I responsible to actually care for?”

In Jesus’ story, this man’s less-than-human counterpart is more of a neighbor than the folks he would respect.

In our current highly polarized culture, who is your Samaritan? (The group of people who are outside of God’s grace, on the other side of the isle)

Getting face-to-face, listening to their stories, seeing their humanity, is the (only) way to begin to cultivate the kind of compassion necessary to live in the way of Jesus.