Deuteronomy 21:10-17

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Introduction

[READING - Deuteronomy 21:10-17]
Deuteronomy 21:10–17 NASB95
10 “When you go out to battle against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take them away captive, 11 and see among the captives a beautiful woman, and have a desire for her and would take her as a wife for yourself, 12 then you shall bring her home to your house, and she shall shave her head and trim her nails. 13 “She shall also remove the clothes of her captivity and shall remain in your house, and mourn her father and mother a full month; and after that you may go in to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. 14 “It shall be, if you are not pleased with her, then you shall let her go wherever she wishes; but you shall certainly not sell her for money, you shall not mistreat her, because you have humbled her. 15 “If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved have borne him sons, if the firstborn son belongs to the unloved, 16 then it shall be in the day he wills what he has to his sons, he cannot make the son of the loved the firstborn before the son of the unloved, who is the firstborn. 17 “But he shall acknowledge the firstborn, the son of the unloved, by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength; to him belongs the right of the firstborn.
[PRAYER]
God has said, “You shall not murder.” That prohibition on murder is a provision for life. In other words, the command ‘you shall not murder’ is a command that calls us to not only to avoid murder but to also protect life the best we can in the sin-cursed world.
In a sin-cursed world there are bound to be things like murder, war, divorce, and rebellion.
God’s commands not only reveal to us when we’ve sinned as we break his commands, they also are meant to restrain our sin as we obey His commands.
The commands of God in Deuteronomy 21:10-17 are life-protecting and sin-restraining commands that fall under the umbrella of “You shall not murder.”
[TS] Let’s look at three PARTS in this passage…

Major Ideas

PART #1: Protecting the Captive Turned Wife (Deut. 21:10-17)

Deuteronomy 21:10–13 NASB95
10 “When you go out to battle against your enemies, and the Lord your God delivers them into your hands and you take them away captive, 11 and see among the captives a beautiful woman, and have a desire for her and would take her as a wife for yourself, 12 then you shall bring her home to your house, and she shall shave her head and trim her nails. 13 “She shall also remove the clothes of her captivity and shall remain in your house, and mourn her father and mother a full month; and after that you may go in to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.
As God delivered these words to His people through His servant, Moses, Israel was about to go to war at God’s command against all the inhabitants of the Promised Land.
This was because the Promised Land had been promised to God’s people.
This was also because those people who already inhabited the Promised Land had filled up their sin before God, and God was using Israel as the vessel of His just judgment.
But war, even when just, leads to death. War, although sometimes necessary and right, produces orphans and widows.
As the Israelites went to war, one of the Israelite men may have seen a beautiful captive woman—perhaps the widow of a man who died fighting the Israelites or perhaps a woman who hadn’t been married yet.
The Israelite man could take her to be his wife, but he was to treat the woman well.
She would be brought to the Israelite man’s home for she was to be his wife, his helpmate.
She was to shave her head, trim her nails, and change her clothes.
Various explanations have been offered for this: (1) Some say that these actions represented a complete break with the woman’s former life. (2) Some say it was apart of her mourning her parents. (3) Others say these things represented her change in status; she was no longer a pagan slave but an Israelite wife.
In fact, the Septuagint and the Dead Sea Scrolls both picture the Israelite man doing these things for his new wife as a declaration of her new status.
The woman was indeed allowed to mourn for her father and mother for a full month before the wedding was consummated.
Perhaps her parents have been killed in the war, or she has just been taken a great distance away from them.
Either way, she is allowed to mourn them.
After that month of morning, the marriage would be consummated.
The Israelite man would be her husband. This formerly pagan woman would be a new Israelite wife.
Let’s pause here for a minute and consider some possible questions we may have:
One question might be, “Why are the Israelite men allowed to marry the pagan women when all the pagans in the Promised Land were to be killed?”
If you remember, all the pagans in the Promised Land were to be killed, but Israel could offer terms of peace to those people far off, or on the borders of the Promised Land.
The terms of peace were ‘serve us and we will let you live.’
It seems the pagan women the Israelites were allowed to marry were from those people far off or were special exceptions like in the case of Rahab.
Another question might be, “Why were these Israelite men allowed to marry these pagan women in the Promised Land?”
God people were told not to marry the pagan women, but that’s not exactly what we see here. What we see is a pagan woman becoming an Israelite wife. She was leaving her old pagan way of life and joining the covenant community of God’s people. That being the case, this wouldn’t have been a violation of the command not to intermarry with non-Israelites.
This was more like Rahab, the pagan harlot of Jericho, becoming an Israelite and marrying Salmon.
This was more like Ruth, the Moabitess, becoming an Israelite and marrying Boaz.
A final question might be, “How is it fair to this woman that she was forced to marry this Israelite man?”
But in response to that question, I would ask, “What was her alternative?”
This pagan woman deserved to die because of her rebellion against God, so if she had been made a slave in the covenant community of God’s people, that would have been a mercy.
But she was made much more than that—she was made a wife in the covenant community of God’s people.
Rahab would’ve said it was better to be a wife in Israel than a dead pagan in Jericho.
Ruth would’ve said it was better to be alive in Israel than condemned in Moab.
If we have eyes to see, we see that these marriages were mercy.
[TS] Let’s notice some further mercy in Deuteronomy 21:14

PART #2: Protecting the Wife who is Divorced (Deut. 21:14)

Deuteronomy 21:14 NASB95
14 “It shall be, if you are not pleased with her, then you shall let her go wherever she wishes; but you shall certainly not sell her for money, you shall not mistreat her, because you have humbled her.
If an Israelite husband becomes displeased with his wife—the wife who was once a pagan captive but redeemed as an Israelite wife, he could divorce her.
Presumably, she would be given a certificate of divorce per the instructions in Deuteronomy 24, but she would then be allowed to go wherever she wished; she could not be sold for money; and she could not be mistreated.
The idea is that, although she was once a slave, she could no longer be treated as a slave because she had become an Israelite.
In divorcing her, the Israelite man has not only humbled here as the NASB says, but he as humiliated her or dishonored her as some other translations have it.
So, even in this provision for divorce, the life of the Israelite woman is protected.
[TS] Let’s look at a little more protection of Israelite women…

PART #3: Protecting the Unloved Mother of the Firstborn (Deut. 21:15-17)

Deuteronomy 21:15–17 NASB95
15 “If a man has two wives, the one loved and the other unloved, and both the loved and the unloved have borne him sons, if the firstborn son belongs to the unloved, 16 then it shall be in the day he wills what he has to his sons, he cannot make the son of the loved the firstborn before the son of the unloved, who is the firstborn. 17 “But he shall acknowledge the firstborn, the son of the unloved, by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of his strength; to him belongs the right of the firstborn.
War also led to polygamy among the Israelites as men didn’t come back from war, and widows married men who already had wives. Of course, polygamy was present before Israel entered the Promised Land, and it often led to problems. One of those problems was the right of the firstborn.
For the Israelites, the firstborn represented the strength and vigor of his father. In Genesis 49:3, Jacob says to his firstborn…
Genesis 49:3 NASB95
3 “Reuben, you are my firstborn; My might and the beginning of my strength, Preeminent in dignity and preeminent in power.
This is also what we read here in Deuteronomy 21:17, “…for (the firstborn) is the beginning of his (father’s) strength; to him belongs the right of the firstborn.”
The right of the firstborn meant a double-portion of his father’s estate as an inheritance. If a father had two sons, the firstborn would get two-thirds of the estate and the other son would get a third. If a father had eight sons, the firstborn would get two-eighths, i.e., one-fourth, and all the other sons would get an eighth.
We may wonder why the firstborn would get a double portion. It was because the firstborn also bore responsibility for family leadership after the passing of his father.
As the head of house…
…the eldest son typically cared for his mother until her death.
…he also provided for his sisters until they were married.
The firstborn might sell his birthright as Esau did or forfeit his birthright by way of misconduct as Reuben did, but a father could never take away the right of the firstborn just because he didn’t love the wife of his firstborn as much as loved one of his other wives.
For example, Jacob loved Rachel but was tricked into marrying her sister, Leah, first.
If Jacob had given the double-portion of his estate to Rachel’s son, Joseph, because he loved Rachel more, that would’ve been wrong.
Instead Jacob gave the double-portion to Joseph because his brothers treated him shamefully be selling Joseph into slavery and telling Jacob that he had been killed.
Perhaps this instruction in Deuteronomy 21:15-17 is meant to tell Israel, "What happen with Jacob and Joseph was the exception. This is the rule.”
In any event, the life of the unloved woman was protected after the death of her husband by ensuring that the double-portion would go to her son if he was the firstborn.

ILLUSTRATION

This past week I saw a video online with someone saying that polygamy was normal. As proof that person pointed to folks like Abraham and Jacob. He could’ve also pointed to passages like this in Deuteronomy that deal with polygamy as well.
Many years ago I heard a pastor preaching on divorce who essentially said that in the end divorce is OK; you know what’s best for you and God respects your decision.

APPLICATION

But although God provides instruction regarding divorce and polygamy, God never endorses these things.
The heart of God in marriage is summed up by Jesus in Matthew 19. He was asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” (v. 3). But listen to how Jesus responded…
Matthew 19:4–6 NASB95
4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
First, see the design of marriage from the beginning.
Design feature #1: One male and one female.
“…He who created them from the beginning made them male and female…”
So, from the beginning polygamy was not the design.
Design feature #2: The two shall become one.
“…a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh…”
But then notice again what Jesus says in Matthew 19:6
Matthew 19:6 NASB95
6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Husband and wife are two parts of one whole. They are one flesh.
If you take someone and separate, one half of their flesh from the other half of their flesh, what’s that called?
Murder.
And you shall not murder.
I believe that’s why the commands on divorce fall under the ‘you shall not murder’ explanation in Deuteronomy.
But in response to what Jesus says, those trying to trap him, continue to ask, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” (v. 7). Again, listen to how Jesus responds…
Matthew 19:8 NASB95
8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
The commands of God regarding divorce were never meant to be an encouragement toward divorce; they were never meant to be seen as permission for divorce.
They were meant to be a regulation on the sin of divorce and they were meant to protect the life of the woman who was most vulnerable when it came to divorce in the ancient world.

Conclusion

But let’s think about two more questions as we close…
(1) Why is marriage such a big deal? We Christians make a big deal out of marriage, but why do we do that?
Marriage is a big deal because it was designed and created by God. This is what Jesus said in Matthew 19 referring back to the beginning in Genesis 2.
Marriage as God designed and created it is also a big deal because it is the foundation for a stable and prosperous society. Many commands in Deuteronomy mention not “defil(ing) your land which the Lord your God gives you” and a part of not defiling the land is operating in marriage according to God’s word.
But marriage is ultimately a big deal because of what it represents; it represents God’s relationship with His people or was we think of it in NT terms, Jesus’ relationship with the church, the bride of Christ.
In Ephesians 5:31-32, the word of God says…
Ephesians 5:31–32 NASB95
31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
Just before this it says in Ephesians 5:25-27
Ephesians 5:25–27 NASB95
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
Marriage as God designed and created it is a big deal because it tells the story of how Jesus loved the church through His sacrificial death and sanctifying word.
(2) But the other question we need to think about here at the end is, “What do I do if my marriage isn’t telling that story?”
Marriages that end in divorce do not tell the story of Jesus’ relationship with the church.
Jesus has promised to never leave us or forsake us, and He has promised to keep us to the end.
We shall always be His, and He shall always be ours.
Marriages that feature polygamy do not tell the story of Jesus’ relationship with the church.
Jesus is solely committed to his one bride, the bride of Christ, the church.
But marriages that feature adultery, even if just adultery of the heart, do not tell the story of Jesus’ relationship with the church.
Jesus desires no other bride than the bride of Christ, and the bride of Christ only desires Him.
But if our so-called marriages have featured or still feature sin like this, please know there is forgiveness in Jesus Christ.
His death on the cross and resurrection from the dead paid the price for sinful divorces.
His death on the cross and resurrection from the dead paid the price for polygamy, homosexuality, and adultery.
His death on the cross and resurrection from the dead paid the price for all our sins if we will trust Him as Savior and give our lives to Him as Lord.
If we trust Him as Savior and give our lives to Him as Lord, then we will no longer live according to the law, which sought to restrain sin and preserve life but ultimately only revealed that we deserved death because we continually broke God’s law.
Instead, if we follow Jesus, we will live according to the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus, which has set us free from the law of sin and death (Rom. 8:2).
In other words, in Christ Jesus we don’t live according to the Law of Moses but according to the Law of Christ, the same law we see in the beginning before sin entered the world.
[PRAYER]
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