It Starts in the Heart

Well, this week we are continuing our series called / / The Big 10: Are God’s commandments still relevant for today?

If you haven’t got that yet, let’s just settle the issue, yes, yes they are. Not because God needs a set of rules to control humanity, or that the church needs a set of rules to control people, or that we ourselves need a set of rules to control how good or how bad we are, or feel, or how good we look against what others do.

It was never about that. It IS not about that. And it will never be about that.

The instructions of God, / / the commandments and law have nothing to do with control. They have everything to do with life.

I said something in passing last week, it wasn’t even in my notes, but it stuck with me as we walked away. It’s interesting that the law was given to Israel in the middle of the wilderness. Between Slavery and Promise.

If you don’t know the story, Exodus chapters 1-12 tell the story of the state of Israel as a nation of people, which, they aren’t actually a nation, they are simply all the descendents of a man named Israel. We can kind of keep going back with the story for some background, but the short version. A man named Israel, or Jacob, had 12 sons, and one of his sons became a big wig in Egypt. There was a major famine in all the region and so Jacob and his entire family, his other 11 sons moved everything they had to Egypt where his son Joseph, who had a lot of sway at the time, was able to give them land and a place to live and thrive. It all stared with one family.

Well, Exodus 1:6-11 says, / / In time, Joseph and all his brothers died, ending that entire generation. But their descendants, the Israelites, had many children and grandchildren. In fact, they multiplied so greatly that they became extremely powerful and filled the land.

Eventually, a new king came to power in Egypt who knew nothing about Joseph or what he had done. He said to his people, “Look, the people of Israel now outnumber us and are stronger than we are. We must make a plan to keep them from growing even more. If we don’t, and if war breaks out, they will join our enemies and fight against us. Then they will escape from the country.”

So the Egyptians made the Israelites their slaves...

A little history there. Joseph died in the year 1805 and Exodus chapter 12, when they finally leave Egypt as a free people, it’s the year 1446. No indication of how long Israel was in slavery, Although scripture references 400 and 430 years on a couple occasions. There’s some play with time here, isn’t there. Joseph dies in 1805, then the rest of his brothers die and eventually the descendants of Jacob are so vast that the King of Egypt is afraid of losing his kingdom and he enslaves the people.

Here’s the deal, 1 year of slavery is too much, let alone potentially 300 or more years of slavery. I can’t imagine what the psychological state of the people had eroded to by the time they are released. What I do know is that it had so damaged them that at the first sign of resistance in the wilderness outside of Egypt, they wanted to turn around and give up, go BACK to slavery!

Leaving Egypt they end up camping along the Red Sea. But Pharoah suddenly realizes, wait a second, I just let my whole work force leave… So he gathers his entire army and sets out to capture Israel again. At the sight of this the people of Israel go to Moses and say in Exodus 14:11, / / “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt? Didn’t we tell you this would happen while we were still in Egypt? We said, ‘Leave us alone! Let us be slaves to the Egyptians. It’s better to be a slave in Egypt than a corpse in the wilderness!’”

These, the same people who had just witnessed God miraculously setting them free… But / / free in body does not mean free in mind. And the connection between Israel moving from Egypt to their promise is very much like the freedom we see when people move from a life of sin to following Jesus. Jesus is leading them to life, out of slavery to sin, that’s what Paul calls it. We were slaves to sin - we can say, in bondage to sin. And a lot of times we see people free in body, but still living under the power of what they were slaves to, which often times, leads them back to the very slavery they were under.

Just like Israel - they get out from under the tyranny of Egypt, free, but free isn’t always easy. This is the whole point of why we are looking at this and asking the question, is this really still relevant? Yes. Of course. Because in our freedom, just like Israel, God is saying to us, “The path to life is not easy. Yes, you are free, but you are free to CHOOSE life.” But choosing life means choosing God’s path to life.

So, why does God give Israel the law in the middle of the wilderness - between slavery and promise?

God had promised to give their ancestor, Abraham, a piece of land. So, coming out of Egypt, God says, I’m going to take you to the land that was promised to Abraham. That’s why we call it the promised land. But, there are people currently occupying that land, and they worship other gods and idols and do all sorts of things that don’t lead to life, they actually produce death. We talked about that the first week - everything right down to sacrificing their children on the alter of a god named molech. That’s not the way to find life. That only leads to death. So, God is saying to his people, “Let me show you how to live long and healthy lives, so that you can enjoy the land I’m giving you. Here’s what I’ll do. I’m going to give you some instructions on how to do that - if you follow those instructions - they work… you will have a long, happy, healthy life.”

Think of it this way. You buy your 16 year old their first car. But they’ve never driven a car before. They’ve never even been in a car before. It’s completely new to them. Israel. Never experienced freedom. The generation that was living at the time of Exodus had only ever experienced slavery. And their parents had only experienced slavery, and their grandparents… the generation that was alive had no other reference for living, only slavery. And God wants to give them their freedom. So, you buy your 16 year old a car - do you just hand them the keys, no training, no instruction, no rules of the road, no warning to what will happen if they don’t follow the rules or follow the instructions or stay on the road?.... of course not. What kind of parent would you be if you did that?

You teach them, you train them, you show them how to drive safely and you warn them of what happens if they become distracted by the world around them… If you look at the ditch, you end up in the ditch… Drivers ed 101. It’s called / / Target Fixation - the behavior in which a person becomes so focused on a singular object that they tend to drive straight into it.

And we as humans tend to do exactly that, whether in a car or not. Focus ourselves on something and end up suffering the consequences of where that focus leads us.

So, don’t have any other gods except Me. Don’t have idols, not physical and not in your heart… “But, why? God, why do you have to be so controlling?” NO! The heart of God is trying to get us to see that any other god will take your focus off of the one true God and change your forward motion and lead you AWAY from where He is leading you.

God is preparing his people for a life they have not experienced before. When all you have known is slavery, you tend to make your decisions based on your understanding, which is slavery. When all you know is bondage and captivity, how are you able to build a society that will function properly? Someone had to step in and say, “Ok, free is one thing, but free and able to live and enjoy that freedom without destroying yourself, or being influenced by everything around you....that’s something entirely different.”

This was the whole premise of this law, these commandments, instructions.

At the end of Deuteronomy, right before Moses hands over leadership of the people to Joshua, so this is the last thing he’s telling the people the Lord has instructed them to do concerning this law, and this is right before they are about to begin moving in to the land that God has promised Abraham. And Deuteronomy 30:15-20 says, / / “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.

But if your heart turns away and you refuse to listen, and if you are drawn away to serve and worship other gods, then I warn you now that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live a long, good life in the land you are crossing the Jordan to occupy.

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessing and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendents might live. You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”

/ / Oh, that you would choose life.

Remember, we’re asking are these commandments still relevant for today? And the language in this statement almost sounds like it could come from Jesus about following him.

/ / Oh that you would choose life, so that you and your descendents might live. You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him.

Sounds so much like, deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.

God is saying, to move from slavery to truly living in freedom, you must choose to follow what I’m telling you to do. If you don’t, you’ll end up giving in to target fixation and going where other gods tell you to go, where idols lead you, where other people, who don’t believe what you believe, and don’t do what you do, where they are going, you will go, what they do, you will do, what they believe, you will believe...

And it’s the same invitation today.

Jesus said in John 15, / / “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit… Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!… You are my friends if you do what I command.

I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit...” John 15:4-5, 9-11, 14-16

Look at that language. What did God say in Deuteronomy. Oh that you would choose life, how? Loving God, obeying him, committing yourself firmly to him.

What is Jesus, who is God, saying in John 15? Here’s the key to producing lasting fruit, or life, filled with overflowing joy.... remain in me and do what I command.

And there continues to be this connection between, you are no longer a slave, you are free, but if you want to live in that freedom and remain free, you must follow what God has said.

Paul says in Romans 6:6, 12-13, 14-18, 22-23 / / We are no longer slaves to sin…Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God… Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Well then, since God’s grace has set you free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living…

Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

The words of Deuteronomy 30 still ring true today, / / Oh, that you would choose life!

Jesus actually says in John 15 that his command for them is to love each other, but he never shied away from bringing people back to the central focus of God’s commandments that lead to life. We’ve read Matthew 5:17-18 a few times in this series already, Jesus says, / / “Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I cam to accomplish their purpose. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. So if you ignore the least commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be called the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God’s laws and teaches them will be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

This is that freedom that Paul is talking about in Romans. The grace of God we live in. That we are no longer under the domineering thumb of the rules and regulations that the Pharisees and religious leaders had imposed on the people that were just impossible to follow.

This connection between our old life and the new life God has for us is just an incredible parallel to Israel leaving slavery and moving toward the promised land. The freedom and life that Jesus offers us requires that we follow him. It requires that we follow his commands. Without doing so we will be led astray, either by our own passions and desires, or by the leading of someone or something else in our lives.

So, today we are going to go through the next three commandments in Exodus 20.

Let’s recap, we have covered:

/ / Do not have any other gods before Me

Do not make idols

Do not take the name of the Lord your God in vain

Keep the Sabbath holy

I want to encourage you, if you’ve missed either of the last two weeks, go back, watch those weeks. This whole thing is building on top of each other. Ok, continuing to read through our original text, we’ll pick up in Exodus 20:12, and we’ll read through vs 14 which covers commandments 5, 6 & 7.

/ / “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

You must not murder.

You must not commit adultery.”

/ / 5. Honor your father and mother

The first 4 we have gone through have quite a bit of connected text. Either explanation or instruction to go along with it. But then when we get to 5-9 they are straight to the point. And again, we have to first of all always read this through the lens of John 10:10, God’s purpose is life, he is the life giver. So the purpose of his instruction, his law, is to lead to life. Remember Deuteronomy 30:19, Oh, that you would choose life!

So, / / Honor your father and mother. And there is a bit of an addition to that. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

As I was reading these three commandments this week I had this thought, these are really about learning to honor people in our lives. Really, if we look at the first 4 commandments they are about our relation to God, and then he turns the corner and says, now here’s how to relate to people.

And this makes sense. I’ve met a lot of people who love God, and love going to church for the experience, but the people.....meh...

God is saying, no, if you want life, and want to live in this land I’m giving you and have a happy life you have to not only honor me, you have to honor the people around you. And that starts at home, with your family.

But let’s look at what this is really saying. Because the unfortunate reality is that this verse, like many in the bible throughout history, has been used to control and condemn, and as we are seeing, that was NOT, is not, and will never been God’s purpose. God’s purpose, defined through John 10:10 in the life of Jesus Christ, who IS God, is to give life.

So, what does that look like in the context of honoring our parents?

Well, first, let’s just clarify, / / Honor does NOT mean:

/ / Honor does not mean absolute servitude.

/ / Honor does not mean agreeing with everything that is said or done.

/ / Honor does not mean endorsing every action and behavior.

/ / Honor does not mean you have to be ok with how you may have been hurt.

/ / Honor does not mean you have to excuse or that someone should get away with abuse or neglect.

See, it’s easy when you have good parents. But even good parents are rarely perfect parents, right?

I love my parents. And I have a great relationship with them. I just sat and talked with them for two hours on Friday afternoon on video chat. We have great conversations and I can easily honor them and speak highly of them because they are good people, with good hearts and ultimately good intentions.

But not all parents are my parents. And I’ve met a lot of people who really struggle with understanding this verse because if you don’t truly look at what honor means here, it can sound like all those things we just listed, mainly because that’s how it’s been used. We also have to look at this commandment in context to world it was given in, and to the other commandments.

So, first, let’s look at what honor means.

honor is the hebrew word / / kabed and it means to weigh heavily upon, to make weighty, but in a negative sense can mean burdensome and severe.

So we have to take those two things in context. The word speaks of both how it can be used positively and negatively.

Here’s a few thoughts:

/ / Did you know... you can disagree with someone and still honor them?

/ / Did you know... you can recognize someone is treating you out of their pain and hurt, and choose to love them?

That doesn’t mean you have to stick around, or stay in a situation where you are being hurt or abused.

/ / Did you know... you can choose not to follow someone’s recommendation for your life but still choose to give them a place in your life, to love and respect them?

Let’s look at the english definition of / / honor - to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect. To give special recognition to.

What I don’t want to do here is make it sound like we look for areas where we do or don’t honor our parents. Or that how our parents act determines whether we honor them or not. What I want us to truly see is that honor is so much more than just simple obedience.

Jesus said in Luke 14:26, / / “If you want to be my disciple, you must, by comparison hate everyone else - your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters - yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.”

Umm…did Jesus just tell us to hate our families??? Clearly there’s more here than meets the eye, is Jesus condemning himself and his followers by encouraging them to break the fifth commandment? Of course not. And he’s not even trying to speak against the natural love that we have with our families, and mentioning wife, he’s certainly not trying to break up marriages. So what’s he saying?

In the time that he’s saying this in, choosing to follow Jesus could actually alienate you from your family. You might have to walk away. Is that dishonoring? Is that breaking the commandment? Jesus walks up to you and says, “Come be my disciple...” your mom and dad say, “absolutely not, I forbid it...”. What do you do?

I think it speaks to context.

Here’s the thing, I think honor CAN mean obey because obedience comes from a heart to do what is right. But honor does not mean obey without thinking through what’s going on. So we could say it is obedience to that degree obedience is the right thing to do. If honor by definition is to demonstrate high respect that doesn’t mean I’m bound to simply obey, but rather, how I obey or understand that maybe I should not obey must be done out of a heart and attitude of respect.

Have you ever heard the saying, / / “I respectfully disagree...” Why? Because / / disagreeing is ok, but if our disagreeing changes my love for you and how I treat you with respect or not, then I’ve missed the mark, because I have not honored you.

And this may be a side note, but this is something that is severely missing from our current society. / / You can disagree with someone and still love them. You can believe something different and still show someone respect, and love them. Not only is it possible, but it’s necessary if we want to be followers of Jesus.

We also need to read this commandment in context to who it is written to. This is being given to the people of God, the nation of Israel, as PART of a bigger narrative in following God, honoring God, and living as God had said they should live so that they would live a long, happy, healthy, successful life in the land that God had promised to them. SO, we can not take this out of context and say, “God says to all people everywhere you have to obey our parents, regardless of what they say or do...” God wasn’t saying this to the parents who worshipped molech and were sacrificing their children…

And as I’ve said before, and is of course true in this command, these things have been taken out of context and used as a way to control and manipulate people, and that was NEVER the intention.

So, / / what is God’s intention and purpose?

God is again trying to explain to Israel what his ideal for healthy relationships and healthy community are. Remember, they’ve been living in a up to a few hundred years of slavery and as a result I’m sure have a very skewed view of how life should and could be. Plus, they have never had to govern themselves.

All of those wonderful things about Jewish community, the festivals, celebrating passover every year, the sabbath, a day for rest and community, dedicated to God. None of that exists yet. This is the beginning of the beginning where God is outlining the way to have that good life. And when it comes to family, having a good relationship with your mom and dad helps. And with the understanding that dad and mom are God fearing, God honoring, God worshipping people, you have reason to honor them. They are raising you in God’s ways. It’s not written yet, but out of one of Israel’s kings will come Proverbs 22:6, / / Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

In fact, I’ve mentioned a few times that the commandments are written again in Deuteronomy 5, and just after that in Deuteronomy 6:6-7, it says, / / …you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.

For us, Ephesians 6:4 encourages us. / / Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

That’s Paul talking to the church in Ephesus, a group of people who are very similar to early Israel, they don’t know what it means to follow God. They’ve been surrounded, and are still surrounded by people who worship everything else.

/ / Straight through the whole of scripture, we can see God’s heart - that we raise our children to honor God and as a result they’ll probably have an easier time honoring us too.

As for us older ones, because the kids aren’t even here to be hearing all this good listen to your parents stuff… take every opportunity to mend your relationships with your parents, if at all there is any way for you to be at peace with them. And if there’s no way to fix that. Don’t speak ill of them. Honor them. Cover them in your love as best you can. And ask God to heal your heart as it pertains to your relationship with your dad and mom.

And if you have older kids and there’s been division or strife, do all you can to mend that. Your children need parents who honor God and are an example of following a God who loves them.

Because what’s one of the biggest things we attribute adult issues to? Daddy Issues…right? And these are things worth dealing with, whether we are living in them or the cause of them, because issues we carry from our childhood into adulthood often breed more issues if they are undealt with. But our God is a God of healing and redemption, restoration and life. So no matter how bad, or how hurt you were or still are from your parents, you can find healing in the love of God.

And again, God is trying to lead to life, right? So / / the command to honor our fathers and mothers is an encouragement to do all we can to preserve and protect our family relationships.

6. Do not murder

This one might seem pretty straight forward, but it’s gotten a little complicated over the years I think.

First, let’s define murder. Not as an english word, but looking at the meaning in Exodus 20:13.

We have to remember, God is giving a law for life. What country, nation, group of people in any sense tries to do it without some sort of system or outline of what is right and wrong.

Israel just happened to go to God for theirs rather than make it up on their own. And when you read through the Old Testament, and see the cultures that were around, even how Israel lost their way often, adopted other cultures and other ways of living, it was pretty barbaric at times. So, yes, let’s most definitely get in there, do not murder.

So, the commandment in wording simply prohibits “killing”, but the meaning of that word implies / / the taking of another person’s life for personal or selfish gain. Think what we would now call pre-meditated murder.

Other aspects of killing are actually dealt with in other areas of the law. God didn’t just leave those questions unanswered, but specifically addresses warfare, capital punishment, manslaughter and even accidental killings, but this specifically is geared towards the pre-meditated murder that would be for personal reasons, or result in personal gain.

A good way to look at this also is to swing it around and look at it from a positive aspect. And I don’t mean the positives of killing someone, but the preservation of life that God is directing. He’s laying the framework for healthy community, for a nation that will thrive.

Just look at what we founded our nation on, the right for all mankind to pursue life, liberty and happiness. / / If freedom starts with life, then the taking of life has to be unacceptable.

And, for context of that time, there were cultures worshipping gods that involved human sacrifice and even child sacrifice.

In 2 Kings it even says that King Ahaz, who was a king of Judah, a descendent of King David, did what was a detestable practice of the pagan nations the Lord had driven from the land ahead of the Israelites and he sacrificed his own son in the fire...

I think most people would agree that’s not good, and there should be some sort of law against that. We don’t want people running around killing each other. We don’t want people openly, or hidden, sacrificing their children or anyone at any age.

But let’s talk about something a bit controversial at the moment. We’ve recently had the Supreme Court overturn the ruling of Roe v. Wade. Regardless of how you feel about that, it has caused a major stir across, not just our nation, but across the world.

Now, I think these topics are best talked out in personal conversation, because for me to stand up here and simply tell you what I believe without dialogue is not a conversation. And I invite anyone who is hearing this to get in touch with me to sit and have a coffee and have conversation, because I think that is vitally important and I will not shy away from a conversation that may be deemed difficult or controversial. But, I do want to do that very thing today, give you my personal stance on this and what I personally believe God’s heart is.

First of all, I don’t think anyone is advocating for murder. Not how they see it anyway. I don’t think they define it as murder because the narrative has changed. And to me, I believe that has been the greatest tactic to change the conversation. Because most people won’t argue that murder is wrong, the conversation had to be moved from a question of murder, to a question of life. Is the child autonomous? At what point do we consider this child to be its own human being? Because if you can convince someone that it’s not actually a human being, then it’s not actually murder.

And as I’ve watched these things unfold in our nation over the last weeks I’ve noticed the primary determining factor of someone’s stance on abortion all boils down to, whether they recognize it or not, to “when does life occur?”.

And I’ve already said, this commandment, not to murder, is about preserving life.

And what I believe with my whole heart to be true, is that every child, regardless of how that child was conceived, has the hand of God on its life in the womb. And I know, that’s really hard for someone who was taken advantage of, or abused, or raped - and I don’t presume to even begin to understand what that person went through and goes through to this day because of it. But if I’ve learned one thing, I’ve learned that God writes the best redemption stories there ever have been.

I also stand on what the scripture says. Jeremiah, who was an old testament prophet, wrote in Jeremiah 1:4-5, / / The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

And David says in Psalm 139:13-16, / / You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

And in Luke 1 it tells of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was pregnant at the time, going to visit her relative Elizabeth, who was also pregnant with John the baptist. John would become the one who prepares the way for Jesus, the Messiah, and it says in Luke 1:41, / / At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.

Jesus, unborn but in the belly of Mary. John, unborn but in the belly of Elizabeth. Connected. I would say aware even, by the breath of the Holy Spirit.

Remember, we are reading the ten commandments through the lens of John 10:10, that Jesus, who is the good shepherd, IS God the son, was present at all times, and thus defines God as the giver of life. These commandments are to preserve life.

My believe is that life begins at the moment of conception.

Now, what I really hope you hear this morning, whether you are here and have had an abortion, or whether you know someone who has, or advocated for it, or believe differently than I do. I only ask that you give God the opportunity to speak to your heart and be open, not for him to affirm your beliefs, and I’m not asking that He affirm my beliefs to you, but that he shows you his heart for both mother and child, and father, and anyone else who is involved. Because if God is good, and he’s always good, then he will be good in these moments. That does not mean the moment itself is good, but it does mean that He is good, and in those moments we can find solace, refuge and mercy in Him. And we can find healing from the trauma and hurts of our past. Of that I am more confident than anything else.

/ / 7. Do not commit Adultery

Of the commandments we’ve gone through so far this might just be the easiest one to define.

Adultery by definition is this basic - you are married, you had sex with someone who is not your spouse.

And that’s all I have to say about that. Don’t do it. And if you have. There is redemption and mercy and grace for you. But that might be a process to work through with your spouse. We have friends that have gone through that process. Where an affair occured, and the relationship was able to be brought back to a healthy place. If we are going to follow a redemptive God we must be willing and open to a redemptive covenant. And I’m not saying it always works out. But I had this thought this week, / / Commitment is not void of mistakes, it is the action of commitment that proves we are committed.

I haven’t always done the right thing. I fail. I mess up in life. I fall short of God’s glorious standard. But if I am committed I will go again. I will repent, meaning, ask God for a change of heart, a change of mind and help in my change of direction.

Now, I want to touch for a moment on what Jesus actually says on these topics. In Matthew 5, Jesus actually brings up these last two commandments, murder & adultery.

Part of Jesus fulfilling the law is also him helping people see it through the lens of a loving God and a good shepherd.

And in Matthew 5 he makes 6 statements where he starts with, “You have heard that our ancestors were told...” and he explains something from scripture and reframes it with fresh revelation. He doesn’t do away with it, but he opens up scripture to be seen through His true intention.

There are multiple times in the gospel message where it says that he opened up scripture to people, and they were amazed that they had not seen it that way before, and they felt something fresh and new.

Did you know we can believe something about scripture completely wrong and it is only the Word himself, which is Jesus Christ, that can open what is written on a page to us as a source of pointing to him. He is the giver of life. Jesus actually says in John 5:39, / / “You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life.”

So, Jesus says in Matthew 5:21, / / “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgement.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgement! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell...”

Now, that sounds pretty harsh, and rightfully so, he’s trying to get your attention.

He continues in vs 27, / / “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye - even your good eye - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell...”

Again. 10 points for getting my attention!

But here’s where I want to bring us to today, especially with these three commandments we’ve looked at.

Honor your Father and Mother, Do not Murder, Do Not Commit adultery...

/ / It starts in the heart… It starts long before you’ve broken any commandment.

In recovery we talk about what we call the mental obsession. And it happens in my case with food, or even outside of addiction, we’ve all probably had that moment where we see something we want. Let’s say it’s a new car. What happens, we start seeing that car everywhere. And then what happens, we start to get a little discontent with what we’re currently driving. Remember targeted fixation. Getting to focused on the wrong thing causes accidents.

But, these commandments are about living a life of honoring God and living in the land he’s called them to live in as a community. So what is Jesus’ solution when it comes to this new way of looking at things? He warns first, it’s starting long before you actually break the commandment, which means you need to decide long before what you are going to do.

I read from Deuteronomy 30 earlier, / / Oh, that you would choose life! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him.

The choice starts long before.

When it comes to honoring our parents, or anyone for that matter, we have to make a choice that in our lives we are about honor, respect, love. We are about relationship. We will do our best to live in mercy and grace. We choose to honor to the best of our ability. And that means that regardless of how we have been treated, that does not and will not determine in our lives how we treat someone else. Yes, others actions give us good information on what level of relationship they can handle with us. But how we respond to people must come out of our connection to God, who is love and wants to preserve life.

When it comes to murder. Yes, we choose life, but listen to what Jesus says, / / “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

When you are on the way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, and you will be thrown into prison. And if that happens, you surely won’t be free again until you have paid the last penny.”

What’s he saying? Deal with it as soon as you possibly can. As soon as you realize you’ve got issues with someone. Deal with it.

Don’t let it come to the point of grievance, or court, or god forbid, murder. These issues start in the heart long before they manifest in our actions. So deal with them while they are small.

When it comes to adultery. Same thing. Is Jesus really saying, “cut your eye out if you look at a woman...” He’s challenging us to live a life of honor to our spouse, and honor to Him. The word lust, when he says, “anyone who looks at a woman with lust in his eye...” that means the desire for an illicit relationship, something you know you’re not supposed to have. Are you dreaming of something that you shouldn’t be?

“Oh, it’s ok, it’s just a fantasy...” wrong.

“Ya, but watching it on tv isn’t bad...” wrong.

“I didn’t do anything about it…I didn’t act on my desires...” wrong

/ / Adultery starts in the heart long before it lands in the bed. And it doesn’t have to start with a person, it starts with the moment you choose to NOT honor your spouse. See, when we’ve decided that the person in front of us is the only person for us, it dictates our future actions. We work to preserve the relationship. We work to reconcile our issues and differences. We work to honor and prefer each other. Why? Because we’ve already decided that anything else just isn’t an option.

You want to know the best way to deal with this stuff? Talk about it. / / Don’t leave in the dark what wants to stay hidden in the dark! Because as long as it’s hidden, it has permission to stay. By not bringing it into the light of the truth you are allowing it to stay in the shadows. And you don’t want that.

Yes, the commandment is do not commit adultery, but Jesus is saying, “Ya, but work at preserving your relationship, because if you make that commitment, then adultery won’t be an issue...”

/ / If you make the commitment to preserve, defend and honor your relationship, adultery won’t be an issue.

The same with murder, the same with honoring our parents, the same with not having other gods or idols. If I decide beforehand what I believe and what I will live my life by, then there is less room for other things to come in and get a foothold in my life. This is why Deuteronomy 30 says talk about it all the time, When you’re at home, when you’re on the road, before bed, when you wake up, talk about the decision you’ve made to be faithful to God. Why? Because it is the key to life.

/ / If you give way to whatever doctrine or ideology that feels good in the moment, you’ll be moved and swayed by every passing and fleeting thing.

The design and purpose of a law, or system of commands is to keep us on the path that leads to life.

/ / Oh that you would choose life!