Salley Sherman's Funeral Service
Notes
Transcript
Sermon Tone Analysis
A
D
F
J
S
Emotion
A
C
T
Language
O
C
E
A
E
Social
Opening
Opening
Good evening everyone and thank you for being here. For those who do not know who I am, my name is Ben Sexton and I am the pastor here at Burr Oak. It has been my privilege to serve the Sherman family during this time of mourning.
We gather here tonight, because the bell has tolled. Death in its untimely way has come to dwell among us. We gather to put our arms around one another, and especially around this family, and to say to each member: you matter to us; your grief has reached into our lives, and we are sad for ourselves and for you.
We gather with broken hearts to do our grief work to the end that we might discover both comfort and courage. And we gather to celebrate the life and mourn the loss of Salley Elaine Sherman; beloved wife, mother, sister, and friend. To remember the life that she lived, and to hold it before us today as one utterly unique and significant human life.
We gather, too, to worship the living God - the one who is Lord of life and death, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Would you please join me in prayer.
Father, we stand before the mystery of life and death; help us do it with dignity and honesty. We celebrate the gift of life; help us be grateful. We wait to hear from you; help us to receive your presence, through Jesus Christ our Lord, in whose name we worship and pray. Amen.
Eulogy
Eulogy
It has been a real joy for me over the last few days getting to know Salley through the stories that Willie and their children shared about her. As I asked questions and as I listen to the stories, Dale’s one comment really summed it up well. It is not possible to describe Salley and the impact she had on the people around her in the time allowed for a typical eulogy. And the more pictures that came out and the more stories that were shared, the truer I understood this statement to be.
Salley was born to Dale and Ila Black on August 3rd, 1948 in Hammond, IN. Yesterday would have been her 74th birthday. While she was born in Hammond, Salley was raised in North Webster and graduated from North Webster High School in 1967. She later went on to Ravenscroft Beauty College through which she became a licensed beautician owning her own salon for 15 years, until her hands no longer allowed her to do her work. She then went on to work at Parker Hannifin for 16 years, retiring out of their Quality Control department where she had earned the nickname “hawkeye.”
Salley’s joy in life came in the form of her family. She married her beloved husband Willie on April 18th, 1966. Yes that was prior to her graduation from high school. They had a short courting period meeting only the fall before at the Bear Lake bar. Willie was one of two dates that Salley had that night, and he showed up first. Willie remembers leaving for basic training that following February and telling a friend that he was in love and was going to marry that girl. And that was just what he did that following April while home on leave after basic.
Yet not everyone believed in Willie and Salley’s marriage. Salley had people telling her not to marry Willie, that their marriage would not last 6 months. Willie’s reputation was such that when Salley did marry him, Willie’s brother Norm gave her the nick-name Saint Salley. I was told that one of Salley’s favorite songs is Tanya Tucker’s Two Sparrows in a Hurricane. I can imagine that in those early days that was how it felt.
SLIDE OF WEDDING PHOTO WITH SONG
Yet with all the doubt that those around them had, Willie and Sally made a life for themselves. Willie said that it was because Salley loved Willie and would go to the ends of the earth with him and was willing to do anything. It did not matter. From hunting, to fishing, to camping, to race cars. Salley was always there. The did everything together. I asked what was the best hunting story and the family told me of a hunting trip to Butler, MI.
SLIDE WITH DEER
I asked about a fishing story and was told about Salley not wanting to reel in a fish she caught while camping at Hodenpyl Dam in Mesick, MI.
SLIDE WITH FISH
I was then told about a time at the race track when Willie got an early lead. He ended up getting blacked flagged and Salley got fired up and went after the official. As the family recounted these storied to me, they kept saying she was an exceptional woman that would do anything. And despite the dirt and the mud and the grease, Salley was always a woman, with her hair and make up always done just right.
Yet, Salley’s life was not void of trouble. At 26 Salley was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and under went an operation to prevent it from turning into breast cancer. She had tumors in her hands leading to hand surgery. She went through a spell of mini strokes, was a survivor of lung cancer, was dealing with an aneurysm amongst other trials that came up in her life. Yet she always pressed on.
Part of why she was able to press on was due to her deep and sincere faith in Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. Salley became a Christian along with Willie in 1976 under the preaching and pastoring of Brad Fawcett. The became very active in their Green Township church. When asked if Salley had a favorite Bible verse or story from the Bible. Willie said what she really loved was the Footprints poem. You can find in inside the memorial card for Salley.
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."
And at the end, an example has been set before their kids, grand kids, great-grand kids, friends, and anyone who knew them. Salley loved Willie, and Willie loved Salley. A love that was anchored in their faith in Jesus Christ, forever and ever amen.
COUPLE PIC WITH SONG
Sermon
Sermon
As we celebrate the life and mourn the loss of our dearest Salley, let us now turn to the Lord in worship. You may remain seated as we sing The Old Rugged Cross.
OLD RUGGED CROSS VIDEO
Remembering Salley Sherman
Remembering Salley Sherman
Before we look to God’s word for comfort and guidance in this time, would you please join me in prayer.
Lord your word is a lamp unto our feet and the light unto our paths. As we receive Your Word tonight let us hang onto the truth that you are close to those who are crushed in spirit. May your Spirit be amongst us now ministering to us in this time of grief. Amen.
Tonight we will be looking to the book of First Thessalonians. If you brought a Bible turn to chapter four or if you would like to use the blue pew Bible turn to page 1091. You may also following along on the screen.
Let us hear God’s Word.
13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
1 Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, 2 for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3 While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.
4 But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. 5 You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 6 So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. 7 For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. 8 But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. 9 For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. 10 He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
May God bless the reading of his Word.
Death is the great equalizer. It is the one thing that is guaranteed in this life. And while for the Christian to die is to gain, for those who are left mourning, death is like being pained by two different swords. The first is sharp and cuts to your core. The pain of this blade burns as your insides churn in emotional turmoil. The second blade is as dull blade. While this one does not cut as deep and as fast, the pain is torturous as the blade slowly tears the flesh. And just like the body that has been cut by these blades are left wounded, so too are those grieving the loss of a loved one.
But just as the body can heal from a cut, so too can our spirits heal from the loss of a loved one. I have to admit that I find it interesting that as a church family we are just coming off of a series about lamenting and here we are now finding ourselves needing to put into practice what we discovered. So Willie I will remind you are your family of our focus verse from that series.
8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
Sherman family and friends, I want you to know that the tears you have cried over the death of Salley, have not been cried in vain. God has kept track of each one. He has them collected and recorded. He cares deeply about the loss that you are feeling. He knows and understands this pain, for he too suffered loss, the loss of his son Jesus.
Yet, there is hope. Let’s look and see what Paul tells the Thessalonians
13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.
Do not be uniformed about those who sleep in death. It is important to that in this passage Paul sees a similarity between the ideas of sleeping and death. He then goes on to state that we are not to grieve as those who have no hope. I want you to see something here, he does not say do not grieve. This does not say do not have any emotions about your loss. Paul is not instructing you to stuff it down and away and to keep moving on. No, Paul is saying grieve, but realize this is not the end.
Why does he say this? This hope that Paul is presenting where does it come from?
14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
Family, our dear Salley is not here, but she is not gone forever. There is a day appointed when she will return with her Lord Jesus. Willie there is a day coming when you will see Salley again and what a joyous reunion that will be! And that is a truth awarded to all who are in Christ! Look at how Paul finishes this section out.
15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
A day is coming when those who are alive will be caught up with those who have gone on before them forever reunited with the Lord Jesus, amen and amen! This is to be an encouragement! This is to be where we find hope amidst our loss! And Willie I know you have that hope. I know you await that day when you are forever with Jesus and your beloved Salley. For those of you who have put your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior take heart!
10 He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him.
While there is much encouragement in this passage Paul also gives a warning.
1 Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, 2 for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3 While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. 4 But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. 5 You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 6 So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. 7 For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night.
While this day is a glorious day for the Christian, for those who have not claimed Christ as Savior this day is a dreadful day. It comes unexpected like a thief in the night leaving a wake of destruction at a time you are disillusioned to thinking you dwell in peace and safety. Do not be fooled into thinking you can escape this day.
Look how Peter described this day.
10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed. 11 Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, 12 waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn!
The heavens will melt away with fire there will be no hiding as all things will be laid bare! And what is to come of those who have opposed the gift of salvation by grace through Christ?
9 They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might,
Now there are many of you here today who do not know me. There may be some of you sitting here thinking to yourself, all of this is easy for you to say, you’re a pastor. You may be thinking that I am judging you, or you may be wondering what any of this has to do with Salley’s death. First, I do not stand here in judgment of you, for that is not my role. Secondly, Salley’s desire was that I do not tip toe around the saving power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and so I honor her with that. Finally, I have not always been a pastor.
As I have spent much time with Willie and his family over the last few days and listen to the stories, I realized that the themes in these stories sounded very familiar. For those of you here that have known Willie you maybe aware of the reputation that he had. Yet you have seen what the Gospel of Jesus has done in his life. A couple that was not suppose to last 6 months, lasting over 56 years. My wife and I have walked much of the same road as Willie and Salley. So while you may not know me you know Willie and Salley, you see the testimony that they have put before their kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids.
How was it they were able to do it, how is it that I or anyone else can change and over come their past? By the grace of God. And what is the grace of God.
Ephesians 2:1–9 (ESV)
1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
But God. But God, that even when you were dead. I stated that in the Thessalonians passage Paul used the term asleep to describe death look what he says here.
6 So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober.
When we look at this along side the passage from Ephesians what we can understand is that if you are not claiming Christ to be your savoir today, you are already dead. You are dead with no hope. We are gathered here today to mourn the death of Salley, yet Salley is more alive in the presence of Christ than any of us here. For those of us that have claimed Christ as savior, we have the blessed assurance of someday being just as alive free from the sin of this life. For those who have yet to claim Christ as savior, you are dead.
Yet, it does not need to be that way. You don’t have to be dead in this life, you don’t have to continue on with no hope, you don’t have to dread the coming day or eternal punishment. You can be more alive than you have ever felt, you can have hope beyond comparison, you can walk in eternity free from pain and suffering. But you cannot do this on your own. The power to obtain these things does not lie within your self or any other person in your life. No, to obtain these you must find salvation through Jesus Christ.
12 And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
Your good deeds, your living right, your positive thoughts, they will not save you, only Jesus can. Jesus can because that is what he came to do.
18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
Sin keeps us enslaved. It blinds us, and oppresses us so that when we think we are getting what we want, we are really destroying ourselves. Jesus live and died to free us from our sins and to reconcile us back to God.
18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Your sin has separated you from God. But God loves you so fiercely, that he was willing to sacrifice his son so that you may be reconciled to him. When you repent of your sins and place your faith in Jesus Christ, God no longer holds your sins against you.
16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
God wants you. He longs for you to be reconciled back to him. And through the entire process God will walk with you, gently guiding and directing you leading you where He knows you need to be.
So how does one go about putting their faith in Christ.
First it is realizing that no one is perfect or able to save themselves.
9 What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. 10 As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; 11 there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. 12 All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.”
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Next is to realize that sin leads to death.
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Next is to realize that the answer is found only in Jesus the Christ.
8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Next is to profess that you believe this.
9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.
13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Finally it is understanding the peace you have with God when you accept Jesus.
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Salley loved Jesus. She knew him as her Lord and Savior and now is basking in His holy presence. A day is coming when we will see Salley again. If you have not claimed Jesus as your savior there is no better day or time then this. If you have been walking way from God there is no better time to come home. If your walking away has been because of the church, know that God still loves you and know that I am available if you ever want to talk.
Salley is absent from us but is present before the Lord. She now knows what some many of us long to understand. I can tell you that Salley would want you to be there. She would not want you to miss out on the joy and peace that comes through knowing Jesus as your personal Savior.
Father we thank you for the life lived by Salley and the example that she has set before us. Lord we thank you for the promises from your word that tell us a day is coming when we will be with you forever and reunited with our dear Salley. Through you Jesus we can have victory over death as you had victory over death. Until that day Lord, may your spirit dwell in and among us. Amen.
Please Stand and join in our closing hymn.
VICTORY IN JESUS VIDEO
Closing
Closing
As we close there are a few final things I want to share. First there is a meal following the service in our fellowship hall. All are invite to stay and join in the meal. Finally, some parting advice from Salley via her family. Love with all your heart, treat people right, always be humble and kind.
Almighty God, our Father, we worship you and give thanks for the gift of life and we dare to receive again our own lives as a gift. Grant to us the courage to live with integrity and with honesty knowing that the meaning of life is to give our lives for the sake of others. We ask that you bless the provided meal and the hands that have prepared it. Grant to us the benediction of your grace, mercy, and peace as we go from this place to live our lives; through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
And all the people said. Amen