Sermon Tone Analysis

Good Morning!

Glad that you’re here this morning.

If you have your Bible this morning, and I hope that you do, turn with me to Deuteronomy chapter 6.

Before I begin this morning, you have to know that I have permission to share this story with you.

And here’s the thing, most of you know my wife well enough to know that the story I’m getting ready to tell you just does not fit her personality.

It doesn’t fit her personality now… it didn’t fit her personality then… her parents will tell you to this day… this event was absolutely shocking!

Years ago, when Beck was about ** years old, her and her family were riding in the car, going to *****.

Riding in one of the 80s model cars… Dad driving, Mom in the passenger seat… and Becky and her two sisters in the back, sitting on a bucket type seat.

Well, as Becky was talking, she said the word “darn”.

Pretty much every parent and child relationship here, no matter how old the parents and children are, have those kind issues in your relationship.

You have “darn” issues in your relationship… these things that just drive you both crazy.

These “darn” issues are sometimes small, one time things… like the story I told you earlier.

But sometimes, the issues are much more significant… sometimes they are deeper, recurring issues.

And issues like that can drive a wedge between parents and children.

We’re continuing our series today called “Tough Issues”… and today we’re talking about parenting.

Now… Every relationship in this church is different… we have older parents, younger parents, and relational dynamics amongst all of us are different… and so, the issues were dealing with our homes are different for those reasons.

And so, we’re going to talk in some generalities today… some general principles that apply to this tough issue.

But let me reiterate something that I mentioned a couple weeks ago when talking about marriage.

If you’d like to follow up on this and have a conversation about things that are going on in your home, I am happy to help in any way that I can.

I don’t claim to be the perfect parent… I don’t claim to have parenting figured out… but I will always do my best to journey alongside of you and walk the path of following Jesus with you… whether it’s in your marriage, your parenting… or any other avenue of life.

Where we have to begin this morning is with the idea that both parents, and children are gifts from God.

The family unit is a gift from God.

One of the most fundamental things in our relationship with God is… our relationship with God has to begin with gratitude… it has to begin with thankfulness for who God and what He’s done in our lives.

The same is true in the parent / child relationship.

As parents, we ought to be thanking God for our children… daily.

And as children, we ought to thank God for our parents daily.

As a parent, it’s sometimes easier to be thankful than other times.

When you’re a new parent… and you sneak into your baby’s room in the evening… and you see that newborn baby sleeping soundly… and not making a sound… and you just watch them… as they coo and dream… it’s easy to be thankful in that moment.

It’s not so easy at 3 o’clock in the morning, and they’re crying and upset, and you have to get up to go to work in 2 hours.

It's easy when you get to see your child receive an award for being student of the month because they’ve shown kindness to other kids at school.

It’s not so easy when that same child is lying to your face about something that they did that they weren’t suppose to.

But look parents… even in the most trying of times… children remain gifts from God.

In his book, Like Dew Your Youth, Eugene Peterson puts it this way… Infants are gifts to young adults.

We often have babies when were in our 20s… during the time where we think we’re getting life figured out… and we have a plan for our lives... when we think we’re in control of our own destiny and things are going well.

It’s into that that God gives us a baby… and we very quickly realize that we ain’t in control of nothing.

Nothing can teach us that lesson like having a child.

Peterson goes further than that though… He suggests that teenagers are a gift to the middle-aged.

Generally speaking, most adults are in their late 30s, early 40s when their child becomes a teenager.

That’s a time where life can become a bit more stagnant… where depression and things can set in.

Peterson says the vibrancy of youth… the trying of new things that comes with a teenager that pushes us out of our comfort zones.

Teenagers are gift from God in our middle years.

And to that, I would add that our adult children are gifts as well during our remaining years.

At some point, as we took care of them, one day, our adult children will take care of us.

I had a wise man once tell me… never despise changing your child’s diaper… because one day, they’ll be changing yours.

At some point, our adult children have to make sure we’re making good decisions… they make sure we’re well taken care of.

At all ages, Children are a gift from God.

And the same thing is true about parents.

Kids… Your parents are there to protect you… to provide for you… to help you figure life out.

Listen up kiddos… when you walk through the door of your house and your parents are giving you that look… you know that look that we parents get when you’ve done something that you shouldn’t… your parents are doing that because they have a very important job to take care of you and to teach you.

And so even when they’re giving you that look… your parents are a gift from God to you.

I think one discipline that we need to start incorporating in our lives is giving thanks to God for each other.

Giving thanks to God for our children… Giving thanks to God for our parents… Giving thanks to God for our families.

I promise, when you get into the habit of thanking God for your parents… for you kids… when those “darn” issues happen, you’ll be more likely to remember in that moment that that defiant kiddo… or that parent who is disciplining you… is still a gift from God. That’s an essential beginning… to see our children… to see our parents as gifts from God.

The second thing is especially directed towards parents.

This is actually what next week will be all about, but we’re going to briefly mention it this morning.

Parents… We have to remember the purpose of our parenting.

Deuteronomy chapter 6 contains what’s known as the Shema.

Look at verse 4…

This was the great confession of the Jewish people.

They would recite it every morning and every evening to remind them of who God is and what their response to God should be.

But I love how the Shema continues… Look at verse 6…

So, Parents, we are to IMPRESS on our children that there is one God… and our response to God and who He is should be to love Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.

We’re to talk about Him when we’re at home… when we’re out and about.

The reference to hands and forehead there represents that God is to be on the forefront of the things we think about, the things we talk about, and the things we do.

The doorframes of your house and gate is a reference to… your entire homelife should be about God.

What does all that tell us?

Parents… our job as parents is not to create obedient children… although obedience is important, obedience is not our end goal.

Our job is not to make our kids respectful.

Although respect is important, respect is not our end goal.

Our job is not to make sure our kids are happy… although, we do all want happy children, the happiness of our kids should not be our end goal.

Our job is not to make sure they make good grades, go to college, get the job of their dreams, have a 401k and live happily ever after.

Although there’s nothing wrong with those things… there’s nothing wrong with pushing them to excel in school, getting involved with activities, going to college… there’s nothing wrong with any of those things… Those things just shouldn’t be our goal.

Our end goal… is to teach our children who God is… and what our response should be to who God is.

Our goal is to teach our children the gospel.

And when I say that our goal is to teach our children the gospel, I don’t mean that if they can recite something like… we’re all sinners and Jesus died for our sins.

Just because they can recite that doesn’t mean they know the gospel.

Like I said, we’ll talk more about this next week… so we’ll leave this second point with this question.

Do you have the type of relationship with Jesus Christ that you want your children to have?

Are you modeling for your kids the type of relationship that a person should have with Jesus?

Now… Let’s move on to the third thing.

Turn with me to Ephesians chapter 6. We’ve talked about children and parents being gifts from God… We’ve talked about our responsibility in parenting.

Ephesians chapter 6 makes a few brief comments to children and parents that are very important for our purpose today.

Look at verse 1…

Kiddos… Teens… This is especially for you.

You have a responsibility to honor and obey your parents.

God has given you a mom and dad… or if you’re being raised by grandma or grandpa, or an uncle or an aunt… God has given you those people to protect you… to provide for you… and to point you to God.

And your response to having them is to honor them… and to obey them.

Kiddos… Listen up… We’ve talked about this several times on Wednesday Evenings… I’m absolutely sure that Pastor Matthew has talked about this on Sunday mornings in Discipleland… If you choose to follow Jesus, the first thing you should do is get baptized.

But after that… do you want to know what following Jesus looks like for you?

It looks like honoring and obeying your parents.

Your parents are an earthly representation of God in your life.

Learning to listen to them… learning to show them respect and honor is a first step in obeying Jesus and showing Jesus respect and honor.

Let’s keep reading.

This next part is for the parents.

And parents… listen… I know you’ve probably all read or heard this passage before… but I want to ask you to not blow this off.

Pay attention to what God says here through Paul.

And don’t start thinking about other people… Boy… I wish my neighbor could hear this.

No… I want you to examine yourself here.

Verse 4…

Paul says 2 things here.