The Marriage Covenant

THE MARRIAGE COVENANT AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF DISSOLUTION

Matthew 5:31-32;19:1-9

Matthew 5:31–32 NKJV

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Matthew 19:1–9 NKJV

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Marriage is a great blessing from God. It is the oldest institution between God and Man, and brings many benefits, as well as requirements, to that relationship. In viewing the state of rampant divorce and immorality in our society, it is useful to consider the importance of marriage as a covenant, and to define its details and benefits in light of God's Word. If we truly understood the importance of this covenant, there would be far fewer divorces.

We must see the importance of marriage as a covenant between man, woman, and God, understand the consequences of the dissolution of a marriage, and consider ways that we can work to keep the marriage covenant.

The Importance of the Marriage Covenant

Definition of Covenant in context of marriage

Webster's 1828 Dictionary - “A mutual consent or agreement of two or more persons, to do or to forbear some act or thing; a contract; stipulation. A covenant is created by deed in writing, sealed and executed; or it may be implied in the contract.”

“The covenant of redemption, is the mutual agreement between the Father and Son, respecting the redemption of sinners by Christ. The covenant of grace, is that by which God engages to bestow salvation on man, upon the condition that man shall believe in Christ and yield obedience to the terms of the gospel.”

COVENANT = AGREEMENT + OBLIGATION + PROMISE (Ps. 103:17-18)

Psa 103:17-18 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; (18) To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

The Marriage Covenant – Genesis 2:18-25; Prov. 2:16-17

Proverbs 2:16-17 “To deliver you from the immoral woman, From the seductress who flatters with her words, Who forsakes the companion of her youth, And forgets the covenant of her God.”

Malachi speaks of God's hatred of divorce in Malachi 2 and specifically mentions “the wife of thy covenant” in v.14.

Bound by God Matt. 19:6; Rom. 13

Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. - GOD is the one who joins this marriage!

Christian must be subject to the higher powers (Romans 13)- anything from an elaborate wedding to a man and woman standing before a justice of the peace, or simply documenting their marriage with witnesses is considered as bound by God.

Marriage is an earthly event initiating a spiritual bond. Just because one is divorced from another does not necessarily break this bond.

Terms such as “married/divorced in men's/God's sight” are not scriptural terms. We only find two types of marriage and divorce in the bible – those God approves of, or disapproves of. It is not “spiritual marriage” and “physical (fleshly) marriage”.

The permanence and sanctity of the marriage union Josh. 23:8; Rom. 7:1-4

“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh” - There is NO return to the parents here!

Cleave – Strong's definition - “to glue to”

Joshua 23:8 But cleave unto the LORD your God, as ye have done unto this day.

Romans 7:1-4 Not a “take it or leave it” endeavor! Though the world wants us to think so!

Breakdown of morality in society – Premarital sex rampant(less motivation to marry), immorality praised, lack of discipline with children

Less marriages + more divorces = many lost people!

When the Marriage Covenant is Broken

God hates divorce. Mal. 2:14-16; Mark 10:2-12

Malachi 2:14-16

Mark 10:2-12 - Jesus' teaching emphasizes the duration of marriage, NOT the convenience of divorce.

Fornication and Adultery

Definitions

Fornication: illicit or unnatural sexual intercourse (adultery, homosexuality, lesbianism, beastiality, etc.)

Adultery: to have unlawful intercourse with another’s wife

Conclusion: adultery is a FORM of fornication, but they are not explicitly the same thing.

Matthew 5:31-32 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: (32) But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Adultery doesn't happen until two people have unlawful intercourse while one or both are bound to someone else. Even if one party in the marriage commits fornication, the marriage bond is not broken!

Scriptural Divorce is the breaking of that bond, and God does not approve of divorce unless fornication has manifested within the relationship. James 1:19-20

Divorce must be the last resort. One who is “innocent” must examine what they might have done to bring this about before immediately going to divorce.

James 1:19-20 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:(20) For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Divorce cannot be scriptural unless evidence is proven and known to both parties in the marriage relationship. It is “for the cause of fornication” - not suspicion or rumors concerning it. Matt. 18:15-17

Matthew 18:15-17 “...that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.”

What does God approve?

Divorce ONLY for fornication – Matthew 5:31-32;19:9

It has to be “for the cause of fornication” in the heart. It cannot simply be used as an excuse, and it cannot be done at a later time.

In a scriptural divorce, the offending party can never remarry, because such would be adultery. The innocent party is free to remarry because he/she has divorced for the cause of the other's fornication.

Reconciliation - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

This is NOT scriptural authority for separation. The word “depart” uses the same root word as “put asunder” in Matthew 19:6. The one who departs is SINNING, and the exhortation here is to NOT COMPOUND THE SIN by remarrying!

What does God command?

NOT Divorce for “just any reason” (unscriptural)

God will recognize this divorce, yet the two parties are still bound, and will always be bound, no matter how many others they marry. The adultery does not exist until one of the people in the marriage commits fornication with another. The marriage bond is sacred and important!

Divorce from unscriptural marriages. Ezra 10:1-4, 10-12

Ezra 10:1-4, 10-12 - Part of Old Law, yet the precedent is clear - they had no right to have those women as wives.

Understanding what Jesus says about marriage makes these issues clear.

How to Keep the Marriage Covenant

The headship of a godly husband

Assumes headship of the family Eph. 5:23; Jn. 13:3-9; 1 Cor. 4:1-2

Headship = Leadership, but NOT dictatorship!

(John 13:3-9) Best leaders never ask anyone to do something they wouldn't do.

Responsibility is on the HUSBAND's shoulders (1 Corinthians 4:1-2)

If we as men depreciate our authority, we depreciate the authority of Christ!

Gives honor to the wife 1 Peter 3:7; Col. 3:19

Man is regular dish; Woman is fine china

Listen to your wife! (selective hearing) hear AND understand.

Respect your wife's input! (Colossians 3:19) “...love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.”

Provides for the needs of his family 1 Tim. 5:8; Eph. 5:25; Eph. 6:4

Monetarily (1 Timothy 5:8)”provide for his own house”

Emotionally (Ephesians 5:25)”love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church”

Spiritually (Ephesians 6:4)”..fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

The Support of a Godly Wife

In subjection to the husband 1 Cor. 11:3; 14:34-35; 1 Tim. 2:11-14

In the home (1 Corinthians 11:3) “head of the woman [is] the man”

In the church (1 Corinthians 14:34-35) “keep silence in the church” “under obedience”

Throughout life (1 Timothy 2:11-14)

A helpmeet for the husband Gen. 2:18-24

(Genesis 2:18-24) Help meet - “one who helps”

World wants us to think of man and woman as the same – THEY AREN'T!

Supports the decisions of the husband Tit. 2:4-5; Eph. 5:22-24

(Titus 2:4-5) “obedient to their own husbands”

(Ephesians 5:22-24) “in every thing” - there is NO situation EVER that a woman should not be in subjection to her husband.(Acts 5:29)

The wife must have input in the home, but the ultimate decision is up to the husband.

The present love of God 1 Cor. 13; Ecc. 12:13-14

1 Corinthians 13

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. (14) For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

If we TRULY love God, we will seek Him and keep ALL of His covenant!