Disciplines of a Godly Man // Friendship

Introduction

1 Samuel 20:40–42 ESV

And Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy and said to him, “Go and carry them to the city.” And as soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’ ” And he rose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city.

I want to talk to you for a few minutes today about front porches. By show of hands, how many of your homes have front porches? Some of my favorite memories are from the front porch of my great grandfather, Claude’s house. My dad and I would go to visit, and we would talk for hours sitting on Papaw Claude’s swing.

The interesting thing about front porches, though, is that they are almost nonexistent in housebuilding today. The Washington Times wrote an articles a few years ago that discussed this phenomenon.

What used to be a common gathering place for the community in the house has been replaced by something else. Do you know what it is? The garage.

The place where community was possible was taken away in the pursuit of something else.

When you include cell phones, increasing family activities, and the fact that families move on average four times during their lifetime, the result is nothing short of isolation. Men bear the brunt of this phenomena.

BIG IDEA: Christian men need godly friends and godly community.

Explanation

In this text, David is running from King Saul, who is trying to kill him. Jonathan, who is Saul’s son, is great friends with David warned him that Saul was going to kill him.

What we see is the embrace of two great friends. David needed Jonathan, and Jonathan needed David.

Before this had happened, David and Jonathan were young warriors. After Jonathan defeated a large Philistine garrison and David slayed Goliath, the Bible says that they became of one accord.

1 Samuel 18:1 “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”

We need other men in our lives. Godly community relies upon other men. For the disciples to learn from Jesus life, they had to live with and around him for three years.

J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis were great friends. Tolkien actually led Lewis to Christ, or was at least instrumental in his coming to know Christ. But, they had two other friends - Owen Barfield and Charles Williams. They called themselves “The Inklings.”

They would meet often in a pub and talk through the literature they were writing.

They encouraged Tolkien to publish the Lord of the Rings.

They sifted through Lewis’s works. While the other two aren’t as famous, we wouldn’t have Lewis and Tolkien’s work without their participation in their lives.

Their friendship birthed these great works. In fact, many scholars of Tolkien believe that the four hobbits in TLOTR are based upon many of the characteristics of the Inklings.

We can do more together than apart.

Kent Hughes gives us ways to grow in friendship with other men.

Prayer

I want to invite you to our men’s prayer group on Thursday mornings.

We pray that God can expand our capacity for friendship, and we pray to God for our friends.

Friendliness

A farmer was working in his garden when a new family pulled up and began talking to him.

They asked him if the town was friendly. He was confused by the question, so he asked them to clarify. They said, “are people generally nice, friendly, and happy?”

Perceiving what they were asking, he followed up with a question. “What was the town like that they came from?” The family replied that they were rude, mean, and small-minded.

The farmer then replied, “Well, that is just how you will find this town.”

If you are looking for perfect friends, you will never find them. But if you are looking for friends, God will give them to you.

Work

Friends take work, but friends are worth it.

Godly community must be cultivated like a garden. It takes hard work, but the yield is worth it.

Participate. When we do men’s events, be here!

Hospitality

When was the last time you invited someone to work or to lunch.

Include our younger folks. They don’t really understand the lost art of hospitality. It takes time and effort.

The New Testament gives multiple instances of older men taking younger ones under their wing.

Conclusion