We Were Made for This

“I do it by myself. Leave me alone. I do it myself.” I’ve been hearing this a lot lately with my two-year old. I try to help and instantly the hands go up, waving and pushing me away. Don’t help me. I do it myself.

We value our independence don’t we? We mark and celebrate every milestone of doing things ourselves from potty-training to driving to graduation. This is the American spirit. Toqueville observed this American self-reliance in the 1830’s stating that “They owe nothing to any man, they expect nothing from any man; they acquire the habit of always considering themselves as standing alone, and they are apt to imagine that their whole destiny is in their own hands.” It would appear not much has changed. Alone, holding our destiny in our hands. We can do it ourselves.

But I wonder, deep down, do we really believe this? Because dear friends, you were made for more than this. You were created for community.

In order to understand this better, we have to go back to the beginning. In the creation text of Genesis 1:26, right after God created all the animals and all the bugs, God said “Let us make humankind in our image.” Did you catch the first person plural of “us” and “our”? Then we have in verse 27 “So God created humankind in the image of God, in the image of God he created them.”

We have been created in the image of God, but what does that consist of? That’s a broad question but for today I want us to consider the image of God as the image of relationship. ** Hang with me for a moment because we are about to talk about the Trinity. We believe in one God in three persons, the blessed trinity. The word trinity is not in the Bible, but the concept has been gleaned from Scripture for thousands of years. We see some of this language later in Genesis 18 when three men visit Abraham to tell Sarah that she will have a son. Three men are present, but Abraham bows before them and addresses them as one, “my Lord.” God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

God existed in relationship from the very beginning, before we were ever on scene. And this isn’t just any relationship. One is not elevated above another. This is a divine dance of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It is a fellowship, a deep love, a joy divine. So when God created humankind in God’s image, God created us in the image of love based upon the relationship of the trinity.

God can only create out of who God is. “ If God is a communion of persons inseparably related, then...it is in our relatedness to others that our being human consists” (Seamands, 35). Deep friendship is part of our spiritual DNA. It’s what makes us human. We are designed for relationship because because we have been created in its image.

Jennie Allen’s friend says we all start out in the world looking for someone looking for us. The desire for community is ingrained in us.This is the kind of relationship that Adam and Eve enjoyed with God in Eden. There was no shame. No isolation. Just walking with and in conversation with God. Working with God’s creation. But then sin entered the picture and instantly sought to separate and sever communion with God and one another.

But look at what God does. After the fall, God immediately sought to restore relationship. God’s first words after the fall weren’t “You really messed up” but asking “Where are you?” It is a question of proximity and relationship.

The whole story of salvation through Scripture involves God drawing near to us, rescuing us, calling people to go and tell, live as witnesses to true community. God told Abraham from you an entire nation will spring forth. We were created for closeness with God and one another. Nothing else will do.

Except when we believe the lie of loneliness. “You are alone. No one will believe you. If they really knew you, they wouldn’t be your friend. They’re better off without you.” We buy the lies. We say no to the invite. We convince ourselves that we don’t need anyone.

We trade meaningful conversation for a text message or a brief “I’m fine.” We swap shared space for suburbs and deep friendship for social media followers. We become self-made people in the image of “I can do it myself thanks.”

Straight out of high school I had big dreams and set off to fulfill them at Kent State in Ohio, 14 hours away from home. I was so excited to be out on my own. Make new friends. Have roommates. I thought that if you had a roommate and shared space with someone that you would get to know them, but I quickly learned that wasn’t the case. Everyone was living their own lives. On the weekends, everyone went home, and there I was. No home. No community.

So I began taking a Saturday class that was intergenerational. Older adults in the community would come and we would all gather together and play chair volleyball and have programs together. This is where I met Dorothy. Dorothy was a young woman in her 70’s with Parkinson’s who was a regular on Saturdays. I don’t even remember exactly how it happened, but she asked if I’d be willing to drive her to Pittsburgh one day to pick up her friend and I said yes. This was before GPS. So we got into my champagne-colored Geo Prizm and went on a road trip that included more U-turns than I care to remember. But it didn’t stop there.

Before I knew it, Dorothy was inviting me over for crab legs and puzzles. Or we would go get frozen custard and I would fill her in on all my classes. There in the middle of Ohio, this stranger became my people. Maybe it took us both by surprise. Not just that we needed each other, but the joy that happens when we allow ourselves to. Maybe we can’t do this on our own. Maybe we shouldn’t do it on our own. Maybe we were never meant to.

We are made for deep, below-the-surface friendship. Larry Crabb was a Christian counselor in the 90’s who shocked everyone when he said what we needed was not more counseling but authentic Christian community. He actually suggested that this type of community, these type of soul-deep friendships, have the power to heal. Deep friendship and community has the power to heal.

I thought it would be fitting today to start our study of community on a Sunday in which we are celebrating Holy Communion together.

Do you ever wonder why Jesus chose a meal as a means of grace? I mean, the disciples had shared countless meals with him for three years. So what made eating together so special? During this time, not unlike today, you were known by the company you keep. To eat with someone was to make a statement about who you accept. To dine together was to say “you are my people. you are welcome here.” Often times, this principle was abused and used as a way to keep the outsiders out.

How fitting that Jesus chose something that had divided people from God as a means of grace to restore us to communion with God and one another. This meal invites us to gather together, to set our differences aside, to forgive one another, to receive God’s grace on equal ground and call one another brother, sister, and friend.

I think part of the reason that Jesus chose a meal, something we do at least 3 times a day, is that every table of our life should be a reflection and a reminder of this table. The cafeteria table. The desk. The dinner table. The coffee table. The bar stool. The break room. All the tables of our life and each time we gather around them are an opportunity to remind us that we all stand in need of God’s grace and in need of one another. That we are called to life together. This is Holy Communion. This is what you were made for.