Love is Not Arrogant

Intro

Introduce myself

Jesus said in Matthew 22 that the two most important things about living for God are: 1. to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and 2. to love your neighbor as yourself.

These 2 commands are our highest goals and the focus of our lives as Christians.

If you’re not doing these things, you’re not really following Jesus. Everything we do should be out of love for God and people, and everything we avoid should be because it is not loving to God or people.

But there is something in the way of this all-important goal of loving God and loving people.

It’s NOT a lack of resources. It’s not a political party, it’s not your coworker who is always rude to you.

In fact, it’s not outside of us at all. It’s something inside of you and me.

There is an attitude that infects the heart of every person to some degree, and if left unchecked, it will keep you from fulfilling these 2 most important commands of Jesus.

If you consider yourself a Christian, then you must deal with the arrogance in your heart. It comes naturally to every person, but as Christians we must resist it.

Paul Edwards and the weedeater

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with arrogance.

I’m here to tell you today that it’s worth fighting yourself to conquer your pride, because if you don’t, it will keep you from fulfilling those commands of God to love Him and love our neighbors.

This morning, I want to especially focus on how arrogance affects our relationships with other people. We’re going to talk about how love is NOT arrogant.

You guys have been going through one of the most famous chapters of Paul’s letters, 1 Corinthians 13, and talking about loving others.

1 Corinthians 13:1–7 ESV

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Greek word for arrogant means “to think too highly of yourself” or “to be puffed up”

Paul uses this word 6 times in 1 Corinthians, all negatively. He was really serious about how bad arrogance is for Christians!

What is arrogance? Arrogance is an inflated sense of self-importance.

Your agenda is more important than loving those who disagree with you.

You consider yourself super talented, but others are just average.

Your plans are more important than others plans.

You actually believe that you are better than other people.

We cannot love our neighbor as ourselves if we think we are better than them! We cannot love our neighbors well if we don’t resist the arrogance in our hearts.

Paul encouraged the Christians in Rome to resist arrogance

Romans 12:3 ESV

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Ask ourselves: Am I thinking about myself with sober judgment? Is my self-importance shaped by the gospel?

Every action we take and every attitude we have should be shaped by the cross, right?

Ephesians 2:8–9 ESV

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Salvation is a gift from God! Thinking with sober judgment about ourselves means realizing that salvation is a gift that we didn’t deserve. The cross should shape how we think about ourselves.

I am desperately in need of God’s forgiveness. You are desperately in need of God’s forgiveness.

And you and I have accepted God’s forgiveness, but that doesn’t make us any better than anyone who hasn’t put their faith in Jesus yet.

4 Ways That Arrogance Keeps You From Loving Your Neighbor:

1. Arrogance keeps you from connecting to the true source of love

How do you love your neighbor as much as yourself? You experience the love of God deep down in your soul until you have His heart for the people around you. If you are connected to the true source of love, you will find it easier and easier to love other people.

5 Hour Worship

An arrogant attitude will keep you from receiving God’s forgiveness

Luke 18:9–14 ESV

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

God’s grace is freely available to those who humble themselves and confess their sin, but we have to humble ourselves and confess our need for mercy.

The first step in experiencing God’s limitless love is admitting that we were wrong, that we sinned against God.

One way that arrogance keeps us from connecting to God is that we don’t accept God’s definition of right and wrong. We think that we know what’s right and wrong better than God!

In the garden, which tree did Adam and Eve eat the fruit from? The tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The author of Genesis wants us to know that eating this fruit is how Adam and Eve claim to know good and evil better than God.

God said, “Eat of anything else in the garden except this tree, but Adam and Eve felt that they knew better.

“It’s not really evil to eat this fruit, it’s good. God must be holding something back from me. God must be trying to control me. I know what’s good and what’s evil better than He does.”

And they broke their perfect relationship with their loving Creator by arrogantly choosing to do the one thing that He told them not to do.

-

And I don’t just mean this about non-Christians. As Christians, we need to stay deeply connected to the source of love, to God Himself.

Human nature usually values oneself either more highly or more lowly than God does. But through Christ we can rightly view ourselves as both deeply flawed and deeply loved. It’s the paradox of the gospel. We deserved God’s condemnation, but in Christ we have been made holy and righteous and we are totally loved.

And the more you experience of God’s presence and His deep unconditional love for you, then the more your heart is changed to be able to love your neighbor.

When I spend time praying and worshipping in God’s presence, love for others flows from me so easily, but when I neglect it, it becomes so easy to be impatient, harsh, and selfish.

Another reason that arrogance keeps us from loving people is that:

2. Arrogance is not Christlike

Philippians 2:1–11 ESV

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Jesus is our example. Jesus humbled himself to become a man, though He was God.

Jesus humbly obeyed the Father and put us first by giving His very life for us.

Jesus served His disciples by washing their feet, even though He is worthy of worship for all eternity by every tongue, tribe, and nation.

-

“Count others as more significant than yourselves”. That does not come naturally. This takes self-control and thoughtfulness.

You have to ask yourself: Am I putting others first?

A mom feeding her kids and cleaning up their mess while her own lunch gets cold

A humble person considers the needs of others.

Buying myself a drink at the store but never buying or even asking my wife if she wanted anything.

If you really count others as more significant than yourself, you will serve and honor others, even if you deserve to be served.

Arrogant people demand to be served, humble people trust God to honor them, so they are happy to serve and honor others.

3. Arrogance keeps us from loving one another well.

John 13:34–35 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Jesus wants us to be known for loving one another well as Christians. And He doesn’t just want it, He actually commands us to do it!

But arrogance keeps us from loving our fellow believers well.

Pretty much all of the unloving things that Christians do to each other can be traced back to an arrogant attitude. They are the symptoms, but the root is a heart attitude of arrogance. I am better than they are. I know more than they do. My needs are more important than their needs. It leads to all kinds of sin!

Romans 12:16 ESV

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

One of the marks of humility in a Christian is that they associate with the lowly. They hang out with people that society would consider to be beneath them because of their bond as fellow believers. Because my amount of income doesn’t determine my self-importance, I will gladly hang out with people who have less resources than me, and consider them my friends.

The final way that arrogance keeps us from loving our neighbors is that:

4. Arrogance is counterproductive to sharing the gospel

1 Peter 3:15 ESV

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

We should always defend our faith with humble character - gentleness and respect

Peter, the most bold and brash of all the disciples, said to share your faith with gentleness and respect-humble attitudes.

If you think that you are better than those heathens, you’re not going to win them to Christ.

If you the way you communicate the gospel says, “I have it all together, but you are a mess”, you’re probably not going to win them to Christ.

People connect with you when you share your weaknesses. It’s actually more helpful to evangelism to humble and honest about your sins and failures.

I’ve heard it said that “Evangelism is just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread.” We both have a massive need for Jesus, the bread of life!

We have to see them as equals and friends when we share the good news with them.

White trash story?

Conclusion

Review, restatement

We cannot love our neighbors well if we don’t resist the arrogance in our hearts.

Arrogance is a very serious problem in our hearts, that we often don’t take seriously enough.

David tells us this about humble and proud people:

Psalm 138:6 NLT

Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud.

How would you like God to keep His distance from you? How terrible would that be to have God keep His distance from you? That’s how serious this is. It puts distance between us and God.

Everyone has arrogant thoughts by nature. If you’ve realized this morning that you’ve had pride in your heart, you’re not some freak of nature. You’re just like everybody else.

Jesus knew how arrogant we would be, and yet He still loved us, He still died for us. But He wants to be closer to you, and for that to happen, you need to resist your arrogance.

The question is not “Are you arrogant?”, because we all are. The question is, “how well are you resisting your arrogant impulses?”

How do you know if you’re arrogant? Practical examples:

You talk over people and don’t really listen when they talk

You don’t let other people go first very often

You haven’t admitted you were wrong or apologized in a long time

You write off other people’s ideas quickly

You quickly assume your spouse is the one in the wrong whenever there is conflict

You imagine yourself impressing people

You consider certain types of people to be beneath you

You justify mistreating others because they impeded your goals and desires

You treat your sin as “no big deal”, but other people’s sin is unforgivable

Transforming from an arrogant heart to a humble heart is a long process, maybe even a lifetime process. It’s not an overnight fix. I’m here today to give you a reminder from the Lord to continue forward in that process. The humble life is better, my friends.

Even though it’s a long process, I want to give you some steps that you can take right now.

How can you resist arrogance today?

Risky prayer: Ask the Holy Spirit to show you any arrogance in your heart.

Spend more time in Scripture to get a more accurate view of yourself.

Confess your sin to God, and to people.

Honor someone in front of others this week. Even if you feel like you haven’t gotten enough credit lately for what you do.

Is there anyone that you need to apologize to? Maybe you have been avoiding apologizing for something, and the Lord is asking you to take that step today.

Put someone first today. Use part of your weekend to serve them instead of spending it on yourself.

Ministry time

Background music?

Stand up

I pray: Lord, would you speak to us and show us any areas of our hearts where we have been arrogant? We give you permission...

Repeat after me: Lord, I have been arrogant in my heart and my actions. Holy Spirit, help me to count others as more significant than myself. Forgive me of my pride and help me to live with humility as I love my neighbors as myself.

Let me pray for you.

Personal prayer for anything after service

Pastor Barry