Four Costly Mistakes We Make

A lady who helped her husband by working while he went to college, worked the midnight shift as an emergency-room clerk in the Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville. She shares how one night around 3 a.m., several students who obviously had been partying walked in to watch the harried doctors and nurses. After trying unsuccessfully to get them to leave, she says, “I dialed what I thought was the campus police. When a sleepy voice answered, I asked the man to come and pick up several people who were just lying around, cluttering up the emergency room.”"How many are there?" he asked in a strained voice. Puzzled, she says, “I told him we had not bothered to count them.” After a long pause, the now-wide-awake man said, "Lady, I sure hope you've got the wrong number. This is Woodlawn Funeral Home."

Do you ever make any mistakes??? Do you ever make any costly mistakes??? Sure you do. We all do. But wouldn’t life be a lot of better if we could minimize them!

In Genesis 16:1-6 in the story of Abraham and Sarah, we see a period in their lives when they made some costly mistakes. Read.

Genesis 16:1–6 NASB95

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children, and she had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maid; perhaps I will obtain children through her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight. And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done me be upon you. I gave my maid into your arms, but when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her sight. May the Lord judge between you and me.” But Abram said to Sarai, “Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her what is good in your sight.” So Sarai treated her harshly, and she fled from her presence.

The background of this passage focuses upon the call of Abraham to be God’s man to form a mighty nation from his descendants. In Genesis 12, God gave Abraham the Abrahamic Covenant. In Genesis 13, God promised to multiply Abraham and make his descendants as the dust of the earth. In Genesis 15, God reaffirmed His promise to Abraham and told him that he was going to have a son clearly through Sarah his wife and that his descendants would be as the stars in the sky.

But by Genesis 16, it still hadn’t happened. And some 10 years had passed since God had brought he and his family into the land of Canaan and given him the specific promise! And sadly we see some costly mistakes they made at that time. In fact, I see 4. And you know, you and I make the same costly mistakes at times in our lives. Read.

This morning let’s look at the 4 mistakes they made and we make too. The 1st one we see…

1. We let fleshly desire rule our hearts rather than good sense.

- Have you ever done this? I thought so.

- Sarai and Abram did too. Sarai so desperately wanted a child. And she wasn’t getting any younger. The plan wasn’t working, so Sarai decided to come up with another one.

- Her plan: give her servant to Abraham to become his wife so she could bear a son and the family name and honor be preserved.

- Let me be quick to note that this was an acceptable custom in their day and time. No one would’ve batted an eye. BUT GOD doesn’t always approve of man’s customs or traditions! In fact, He isn’t pleased when we follow them instead of Him!

- What did “good sense” say? LISTEN TO GOD! BELIEVE GOD. DON’T FOLLOW THE FLESH.

- The problem: they were letting fleshly desire rule their hearts rather than good sense…than God!

- Paul tells us in Gal. 4:23 this decision was of the flesh and not of faith!

- Isn’t it amazing what you and I will do when we get desperate!

- Isn’t it amazing how you and I will lower our morals and values when fleshly desire starts to rule!

- Isn’t it amazing how the world around you cheers you on when you let the fleshly desire rule in your life! They say “Go ahead and do whatever feels good…seems right to you! You deserve it!”

- And so many times when you and I live this way we think “God understands my frustration and will not hold me accountable.” Or sometimes we say, “Well I really don’t care what God thinks. I’m going to do this.”

- Maybe Sarai said some of these things. What we do know is that they made a costly mistake in their lives at this point.

TS – Another costly mistake we make in our lives…

2. We don’t trust God.

- Have you ever been here??? Sure you have, more times than you and I want to admit!

- Sarai and Abram were there.

- God had promised and promised and promised. Abram and Sarai had wondered and wondered and wondered. And God continued to affirm, affirm, affirm.

- But Sarai and Abram started looking at the facts: What were they?

1) They weren’t getting any younger! Abram was 85 at this time (86 by the time Ishmael was born) and Sarai was 75! Not exactly the age for child bearing!!!

2) God had been promising for 10 years!!!!!!!! And nothing yet!

- Would you get a little discouraged?

- Would you perhaps begin to do some questioning?

- Would your faith begin to be challenged?

- What happened? Sarai and Abram became impatient with God!

- Have you ever become impatient with God??? Ever been there?

- So they decided to take matters into their own hands! As though God weren’t able or doing a good enough job!

- BOY WE GET INTO TROUBLE WHEN WE DO THIS!

- It’s interesting and noteworthy that they didn’t consult God about their plan! Wonder why?

1) Knew God wouldn’t approve!

2) Knew God would say “Trust Me!”

- One of the costly mistakes you and I make too often in our lives is when we don’t trust God!

TS – Another costly mistake we make in our lives…

3. We blame others for things we bring on ourselves.

- Suddenly when “their” plan was enacted and implemented and even produced the set out goal, things backfired.

- A situation was created that led to some bad home life experiences. Hagar, now elevated from slave to 2nd wife starts strutting her stuff. Not only that, but she conceived quite easily. Now she starts really strutting her stuff!

- The word “despised”sometimes meant to belittle. Suddenly, in Hagar's eyes, her mistress Sarai, is no longer respected with the same weight or honor as before.

- And suddenly Sarai starts blaming who? Abram! Verse 5 “…May the wrong done me be UPON YOU…” big boy!

- What had Abram done? Nothing, but go along with her plan! And now he gets all the blame!

- Boy, we’re good at this – we blame others for our own faults and failures and mistakes!!!

- How costly is this mistake? We hurt each other. We say things we wish we could take back. We do things we regret. And where does it get us!

TS – Finally, we come to the last costly mistake we see here that we make in our lives…

4. We shirk responsibility rather than taking ownership.

- When things broke down, Sarai didn’t take responsibility nor did Abram!

- In fact, how did Abram, the leader in the home handle it? Sarai, you do whatever seems right in your eyes!

- What should’ve happened? Well, time to go on the annual hunting and canoeing trip! See you in a few months ladies! No, Abram should’ve stood up and taken responsibility and ownership instead of shirking it in order to keep the peace.

- Sarai should’ve done the same!

- Too many times this is how you and I handle conflict in the home and in our lives! We shirk responsibility rather than taking ownership!

- And this is a costly mistake made too many times!

Conclusion

Certainly none of us are perfect but I surmise that each of us could avoid some of the costly mistakes we make too often and many times we repeat – over and over!

How? By…

1. Letting good sense rule your heart rather than fleshly desire.

2. By trusting God

3. By accepting responsibility for your mistakes rather than blaming others!

4. By taking ownership rather than shirking responsibility.

Could things in your home and things in your life be different if you’d learn to do these 4 things?