The Fight For Your Family

Joshua 1:1–6 (NIV)

After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide:

“Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites.

I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.

Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Mediterranean Sea in the west.

No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

Introduction

As we begin this series today I want to recall the true story of Pat Tillman. For those of you who do not know his story, he was a professional football player for the Arizona Cardinals. He was the starting safety, and set a team record for tackles in 2000. He was set to be rewarded with a three-year multimillion dollar contract extension, but after the events of 9/11, he instead enlisted into the Army.

Pat Tillman became a Ranger, one of the more elite fighting units in our military, and on April 22, 2004, his life was cut short in combat. The greater tragedy of the loss of his life was that he was killed by friendly fire.

This was initially covered up due to the circumstances surrounding his celebrity and patriotism, but when the investigation was completed, his death was ruled an accident and he was killed by one of his own.

I’ve never understood the term friendly fire, as there is nothing friendly about it. But sadly, I’ve seen it all too often in our homes as parents and children begin to shoot at the wrong enemy.

Now let me take you to the text.

Text

I know that the text that I have chosen for today might feel like it relates very little to family, but my aim today is to use the text as a parallel to your family.

You see this story is the beginning of an almost thirty year period that Joshua led the children of God into the Promised Land. Forty years earlier, Joshua was part of a reconnaissance team that spied on the land, and they brought a report to Moses, the previous leader, of the feasibility of conquering the land. There were 12 spies who went on this mission, and only two of them came back with a good report. The other ten spread doubt and fear into the people, and as a result of their unbelief, God did not allow them to enter the promised land for 40 years.

The text that we read is when leadership has transitioned from Moses to Joshua, and now the Lord is asking Joshua to do the thing he wanted them to do 40 years earlier.

Now, Joshua is a little older. He’s a little wiser. And if he’s being honest, he’s also a little slower. He has dreamed of this moment for 40 years. He can still remember the taste of the grapes that the spies brought back 40 years ago. He remembers that the honey was just a little sweeter in the Promised Land. The milk was just a little creamier in the Promised Land.

And now, God tells him be strong and courageous.

Why does he do this?

Because God knows, and what Joshua doesn’t know, is that once he gets to the Promised Land, he and the children of God, would be in a seven year fight. They are coming off of 40 years of wandering in a wilderness, and their reward for obtaining the promised land is non stop fighting, violence, wins, and losses, for the next seven years. After those seven years, then Joshua would have to govern the people for roughly another 28 years before God would finally bring rest to the Land and to the children of God.

Transition

And I want us to parallel that story with our story.

You see for me, I have given a lot of thought about what it would be to one day lead my family. When Joanna and I first got married, we decided we were going to wait for 5 years before we started having children, and then when we got to 5 we were having so much fun without them that we said let’s wait 10 years.

But during that time, we would talk about having kids. There are even some vacations that we didn’t take becuase we’ve said, “ we’ll take that one when we have kids”, or “we’ll wait and take that one when the kids are a little older.” We have plans for our family and experiences that we want to share with them. Long before our kids were born we even had a name for our daughter that we just KNEW that God was going to give us. We just KNEW it.

We looked forward to the day that we would finally be in our “promised land” and we would have a beautiful family of our own.

Many of you are the same.

You dreamed about having children of your own one day.

You’ve dreamed about the family vacations that you would take together.

Dads, you saw the games your boys would play in and win.

Moms, you envisioned these mani/pedi trips and shopping sprees with your girls.

You dreamed of the day that you and your kids would all gather around the television and everyone would be happy to watch the movie that you chose.

But that’s now quite how everything has turned out, has it?

Your kids do not like your shows.

Your boys don’t like your sports. Some of them don’t like sports, period.

You share with them your hopes and your dreams for your family, and rather than living out your hopes and your dreams you are fighting just to exist together.

You are in your “promised land” and all you’ve been doing lately is fighting.

The Fight

Well, as your Pastor here today, I want to tell you that you, and your kids, need for you to stay in the fight.

Here’s the reason why you need to stay in this fight.

You aren’t fighting with your kids, you are fighting for your kids.

I know how hard it is to be in the constant struggle with your kids. You feel like you are breaking up hard ground, planting seeds, and you aren’t seeing a return for your labor. But you can’t stop fighting for your kids.

Your kids are under an enormous amount of pressure from their peers, sports, and school, and it’s easier for them to take it out on you than it is for them to take it out on others.

Paul gives us this verse about fighting that we can apply here:

Ephesians 6:12 (NIV)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

You see some of your fights with your kids are spiritual. There are spiritual forces of evil that are coming after the soul of your child. Especially for your teenagers who right now, in this very moment, are making a decision if they will continue to live for God, or to walk away from him forever.

They are making those decisions right now. They don’t make it as adults, they make it as teens.

And your children may not ever tell you this, but let me tell you this.

Your children want you to fight for them.

This generation is crying out for two things; they want to be needed and they want to be known.

Within the home, this is also present, but the dynamic is different.

They both want to figure things out on their own, and they want your help when they can’t.

They want the space to try new things, but they also want your help when they don’t succeed.

They don’t want to be told what to do, but they really do appreciate the positive direction that you give them.

Do you see the tension, parents?

There’s a tension here, and although your kids may never tell you this, they don’t want you to stop fighting for them.

The Opposite of Fighting is not Peace, it is the Wilderness.

When Joshua and the children of God entered into the Promised Land they came in strong! They ran through that City. Because of God’s providence they took the City by force, and it sent shockwaves all throughout the land.

But the fight was just starting.

Next God told Joshua, go and take Ai.

Ai was a small city. Nothing like Jericho, the city that they just demolished. It was so small that Joshua sent an auxiliary unit. They asked Joshua, “Do we send in the SEALS or the Rangers?” He said, “Neither, send in the National Guard.”

When they go to Ai they were completely overwhelmed and they lost the battle.

Do you want to know what Joshua didn’t do? He didn’t say to the children of God, “You know, I don’t like this fighting… let’s just go back.”

Fleeing the fight wasn’t an option because that meant going back to wandering in the wilderness.

And in the same way parents, if you leave the fight, you aren’t setting up your home for success. You are setting up your children for the wilderness.

You are setting them up for a life without purpose.

You are setting them up for a life that is less than God’s best.

You are setting them up for a life that will have them walking in circles.

Conclusion

Listen to me kids, all the kids in the room. You parents are fighting for you because they want you to succeed in life. Parents, your kids are fighting with you because they haven’t learned to fight against the real opposition in their life. We’ll talk more about that in the weeks to come.

Here’s what we’re not going to do. We’re not going to die by friendly fire. We’re in this together, not against one another.

We have an enemy, and it’s not your parents. The enemy is not your children. There is a real enemy, and he doesn’t live with you. Let’s not kill our own. Discern who your enemy is, and learn how to fight against him.