Ruth Stickney Memorial

Welcome

Thank you for attending this memorial to Ruth Stickney’s life. Ruth’s family would like to thank you for coming—some of you from hundreds of miles away—to celebrate the life of their precious mother, grandmother and sister.

In times of grief our hearts are softened and we have an opportunity to put aside any differences that separate us and to draw closer together in comfort and love. In fact, God has designed our minds and hearts to grieve together. The process of grieving is different for everyone, but one thing that is common in every case is the need to tell our stories and to have someone listen.

A poem by Anthony Dowson gives permission to express these stories:

Speak of me as you have always done. Remember the good times, laughter, and fun.

Share the happy memories we've made. Do not let them wither or fade.

I've rested my eyes and gone to sleep, But memories we've shared are yours to keep.

Sometimes our final days may be a test, But remember me when I was at my best.

Although things may not be the same, Don't be afraid to use my name.

Let your sorrow last for just a while. Comfort each other and try to smile.

I've lived a life filled with joy and fun. Live on now, make me proud of what you'll become. © Anthony Dowson

Prayer

Father in heaven. Ruth was your child and You loved her even more than her family could. Please be with us now as we celebrate her life and honor her in death. We know you understand our pain and that you catch up our tears in a bottle so you’ll never forget these moments of loss. Thank you for taking this journey with us.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Homily

We are all here to remember and celebrate the life of someone that was deeply loved. She was the kind of person who invested herself in the lives around her. There are dozens of people from every era of her life that called her friend and even mother because of her loving, intentional, and somewhat persistent involvement in their lives. She was a mentor and a spiritual counselor to so many that the is probably no way to count them all.

Our memories of her are our vehicle to celebrate her life.

Ruth had a full and satisfying life, and for that we can give thanks to God.

All these memories that you have shared—every tender moment etched with the impact of her passion for life—show that you have been part of this life that we gather here to celebrate. And through you, her influence lives on.

It is natural for us to feel grief and sorrow at times like this. Grief is a normal and healthy attempt to gain equilibrium and an adequate degree of adjustment after a loss.

And yet it is those very memories that seem to torture us in grief. At this moment your life may be chilled with the stark reality of the loss of one who held a special place in your heart and life. Each time you come across a picture or remember a moment or have an experience that you would normally have shared with her, you remember that she is gone and you have to recalibrate your brain to live on without her. That process of recalibration might take weeks or months or years.

But, with a word of sympathy, a gestures of kindness, a touch of love, a compassionate embrace, a silent but supportive presence, a quiet shedding of a tear, a cherished remembered memory, …the healing begins.

One of the memories Ruth would have wanted us to come back to again and again was her belief in the resurrection. She lived with the conviction that there was more to life than our temporary experience here on earth.

She loved God’s Word and spent many precious hours contemplating its messages of hope and love. And Ruth held onto the promises of Jesus such as: “I will come again; I will take you to myself; the dead in Christ shall rise first; every eye will see him; there will be no more sickness or death; I will make all things new.”

Ruth has had many Bible throughout the years, and as her youngest son, Peter, was sorting through her library he found a recent Bible with some notes in it. At the top of one of the cover pages she wrote the word, “For my children: Jeremiah 24:7.” This is a promise she had underlined and put a star besides:

Jeremiah 24:7 ESV

I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God, for they shall return to me with their whole heart.

Her greatest desire for her children and grandchildren and all her loved ones is that they would love Her Savior and call Him their God. Ruth believed that, because Jesus was raised from the dead, she will be too. Notice 1 Corinthians 15:20 “But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.”

In Psalm 23, one of the most famous passages in the Bible, the Lord promises:

Psalm 23:4 ESV

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

and

Psalm 23:6 ESV

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Ruth’s whole life was focused on that day when she will dwell in the house of the Lord. And she longed for her family and her many friends to have the same hope she had.

Let’s consider for a minute the God of the resurrection:

He is a God of comfort in the midst of our pain.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."(Ps. 34:18)

He is a God of hope in the midst of our disappointment.

"Cast your burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you."(Ps. 55:22)

God knows the pain of loss and he’s speaking compassion and peace and hope into our hearts today. He says,

“…Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord… that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!” (Revelation 14:13)

Ruth would want us to consider this encouraging message that Jesus gave his disciples when they learned that He would be leaving them. It’s found in John 14:1-3:

John 14:1–3 ESV

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.

Ruth knew the comfort of those words. Do you? I’m sure that she would look around this room with expectancy and hope; that she would wish that each one of you could have a room close to hers when Jesus returns to take us to the place He’s preparing for us.

We have gathered here to celebrate a life well lived and to help each other through the transformation that grief and loss bring to our lives. While we do this, let’s keep the hope that Ruth held dear to her heart firmly in front of us.

The Bible says “Death is swallowed up in victory” (1 Cor 15:54). While there is pain in the loss of a loved one, there is hope too. So, let’s comfort each other with these words from 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17

1 Thessalonians 4:13–17 ESV

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.

Ruth could have said, with the apostle Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give to me on that day, and not to me only but also to all those who have loved his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

The hope that Ruth had can be your hope too. Jesus says,

“I am the resurrection and the life.” (John 11:25) and, “I am the living one: I was dead, and behold, I am alive for ever and ever. And I hold the keys of death.” (Revelation 1:17-18)

Ruth now rests under God’s care and sleeps the peaceful rest of death in Christ until his soon return. I am comforted with great peace knowing that the all-gracious and loving God who knew Ruth intimately in life now watches over her grave in death.

What peace it brings to know that the everlasting Father of love and compassion holds in His hands all the issues of life and that He has promised resurrection and eternal life to those who call upon His name. It is to Him we commit our loved one, our friend, our mother and our sister in Christ, Ruth Stickney.

Many may say, Goodbye, in death, but by God’s grace and in His promise our farewell can rather be, “until we meet again.”