Gentleness

Gentleness

I. Introduction

A. Read Text Matt 11: 28-30

“Come to me all who are weak and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly of heart; and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

B. Opening Illustration:

I was asked by Chris to give this message on Gentleness, a character trait of a Christian with the fruit of the spirit in their life. At first, I was like yeah, I’m gentle this is great, which quickly goes hand in hand with Chris’s message on humility. So, then I actually thought about it and my past as a new believing teen as well as moments in my current Christian walk and it hit me like a ton of bricks, I couldn’t help but think of how this fruit is being displayed in my life and the many times, much to my shame, that it’s been nonexistent. I mean I couldn’t imagine asking my 17-year-old self to think about what gentleness looked like in my life back then. At the time my life was so focused on being the best rugby, golf and tennis player I could be, that meant the strongest, most physical guy on the field, I was certainly not thinking about gentleness being a fruit of the spirit, let alone how my Lord and savior describes His very essence of character by telling us what the root of His heart is (being Gentle and Humble). How life changing thinking about these things would have been for me had I started during the first shaky steps in my walk with Christ. As I meditated on God’s word, it was a good lesson for me to be reflective and think about one particular fruit of the spirit at a time and really put effort into how I’m displaying characteristics of a Godly man and contrasting it with the man the world says I should be. The man I want to be and the fallen man I often find myself being. Gentleness was a good topic for me, not because I excel in it, but because more than I like to admit I’ve seen how I’ve lacked a biblical gentleness and require much growth and putting the time and effort into understanding how it’s been displayed in biblical characters and how its described as Gods nature, has been exceedingly beneficial in the highlighting importance that I hope to now place on this characteristic to all of you. More than that I hope that you will leave today feeling the same weight to addressing gentleness in your own life and how you’ve come to neglect its importance in defining your character. Finally, my prayer is that you leave feeling encouraged knowing that the bible is filled with practical applications for us to lean on in pursuing gentleness and all the other fruits.

Questions:

- 1) Can someone try and define gentleness for me? It doesn’t have to be a perfect definition, but just your general understanding of the word. Or even what words come to mind when you think of Gentleness.

- 2) Think of some of your past experiences in life, where you have been the beneficiary/ recipient of gentleness by someone that you either know well or don’t know?

- 3) Why do you think Gentleness is important?

- 4) Now for the real test, what are some biblical examples of where you think you gentleness is displayed?

C. Establish Need:

During the past few weeks now, Chris and few others have been taking you through a series of Christian Characteristics, and how to walk the walk, for a la lack of a better term. In other words, Im sure we can all agree that it’s much easier to just say that I am a “Christian,” but to live in a manner that reflects Eph 41-2 walking in a manner that is worthy according to the purposes to which you have been called, with all humility and Gentleness, with patience bearing with one another in love, this is much more difficult, and far less commonly seen in life. To accurately emulate Christ in your life through word and through deed is a much greater challenge, yet the reward is greater than anything else we could hope for and is never ending.

Now as we look at gentleness, I want to remind you all, that in all things with life the word of God must always be our first stop. That is why I took you through a series of questions before I started. Defining a characteristic is no different than better understand substitutionary atonement or the Trinity, the word of God is applicable to all of life not just theological principals and apologetics. I mention this even although I know you have had many discussions about this, because the reminder is necessary, we are quick to look at the world for information, especially for this topic, where the world, the flesh and the devil are constantly opposed to Gods Word and feeding you lies about what gentleness and all the other fruits and characteristics of a person, should look like. The picture that the world creates of gentleness, if followed will lead you down a horrible/ dark road with no spiritual fruits.

The need for understanding biblical gentleness is -fold:

- 1) It is the character of Christ:

I want you to think about this passage throughout this message, and quite honestly every time you open your bibles. John 14:9 “9 Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip?” wow, what a frightening verse, 3 years listening to him, watching him heal the sick, raise the dead, feed the thousands and Jesus looks Phillip in the eyes and says, “you don’t know me yet!” Not really, do you know, you are still fundamentally misguided, as Phillip asks Jesus to show him the Father after Jesus has described to him that in seeing Jesus, one sees the father as they are one and the same.

Now I wonder if we can make the same mistakes still today, thinking that we know Christ but not spending the time and effort into actually knowing who He is, what He has come to do, How He has done it, what and how He will do and whom He represents, which is also the why behind doing all these things. That was me 10 years ago, and to some degree still is, the nature of blind spots is that we can’t see them, they are our weaknesses for a reason. 10 years ago my understanding of Jesus was based all on emotions, a Jesus that was only there when I did the right things, a Jesus that would only appear when the right music and smoke machines were used, a Jesus the was ultimately just a bigger, friendlier more powerful version of myself. Not The Jesus, for whom my ongoing sins and sufferings draw Him in all the deeper. The difference however between me 10 years ago and me now, is my desire and commitment to understanding the nature of Christ through His word and by prayer. It was the realization that There is no greater biblical principal than the one that identifies who Jesus Christ is, at the core of everything. His heart in Matt 11: 29, the center to who He is at the root of everything Is what Christ Himself describes as Gentle and lowly or humble.

- 2) It is completely distorted by the world:

The world will tell us two things about gentleness that look very different, but at their core are both attacks on gender roles. You will hear either that as a girl you shouldn’t have to be gentle as that is something of the past, created by male domineering societies you are free to embrace all the characteristics of a man, and if that doesn’t quite do it for you then you also have the option of becoming a man.

- The second is almost the flip of that, where boys and men are encouraged to be as gentle as woman in all things, embracing all their soft attributes because men embracing bravery and strength, is not gentle, and something that “olden day men did,” because they were chauvinists and not in touch with their feminine side. In its worst form this looks like a case last year in Australia where a child of just 4 years old started the process of undergoing a sex change and was encouraged by most leading psychologists around the world.

· So, defining character through scripture is vitally important because the wisdom of the world as we have heard from many of Chris’s sermons working through Corinthians, is foolishness to God, that means that the way Gentleness is defined by the world is not at all how God will define it through His Word, and the perfect image and representation of gentleness and all the other fruits of the spirit is through Jesus Christ.

· The main question we should all have is, how can we be biblically gentle and at the same time a strong and courageous leader, a “Conqueror in Christ Jesus, who is also gentle and lowly in heart.” Because the world will have us believe that those two things (a conqueror and being gentle and humble) cannot and should not coexist, and yet, Christ our perfect example shows us that it does exist.

- 3) It is the mark of a true believer in Christ Jesus:

Gal 5: 22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (The fruit of the spirit, marking what a believer who is grafted into Christ, the one true vine, looks and acts like).

1 Tim 6: 11 “But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness” (Paul addressing Timothy encouraging him to live as a Godly man, dying to his previous struggles and fleshly desires and instead pursuing the things associated with being a Godly man, one of which is Gentleness)

- 4) It corrects the wrongs often misunderstood by Calvinists and reformed Christians:

This is a slightly more theological topic, but I would be a fool to think that It couldn’t possibly have roots even in youth ministry. Ever heard of the term hyper Calvinist? Well, if you haven’t it s typically someone that has given their whole life to the one principal in Scripture that God chooses and calls whom, according to His perfect will, therefore I can sit back and really not do anything. Or on the flip, everything in a bible bashing way, being harsh and abrasive and lacking all gentleness when telling someone the truth. Understanding Gods character as being gentle towards us, will shape how we respond to others in gentleness with the great power Christ has given us through His Word and the Spirit.

A. Gentleness defined:

1. Gentleness in scripture

- The importance of Gentleness in scripture is an attribute of God that is so often overlooked, especially in reformed Christian circles and even as God is portrayed to the world, yet it sets the tone of Christs ministry in how he did everything. Being the Son of God and yet, having a gentle and humble heart that is sufficient to deal with the unending sinfulness of man. Gentleness is who Christ is and Gentle is what we are called to be.

- The word gentle in Greek (Prou-teis) can be translated elsewhere in the new testament as meek and humble.

- Matt

2. Gentleness Defined:

- Looking at Matt 11: 29…

- Gentleness is the essence of who Christ is at His core. It is complete power under control, subject to the Will of God. To be Gentle, one must have a sensitivity of disposition, a kindness of behavior, founded on strength and prompted by love.

3. Quotes

- Martin Luther - "A Christian is one who feels no hatred or enmity to any man or woman, one who has in his heart no rage or vengefulness but only love, gentleness and kindness."

- George Bethune (fruit of the spirit) – “Perhaps no grace is less prayed for, or less cultivated than gentleness. Indeed it is considered rather as belonging to natural disposition or external manners, than as a Christian virtue; and seldom do we reflect that not to be gentle is sin.”

- Jerry Bridges (The practice of Godliness) – describes the subtle difference between gentleness and meekness although often used interchangeably. “Gentleness is an active trait, describing the manner in which we should treat others. Meekness is a passive trait, describing the proper Christian response when others mistreat us.”

4. Gentleness in action: Lets look at some practical scenarios in which gentleness or its sinful counter parts can be displayed.

a) Having power under control:

You meet someone from a different church who claims to be a Christian. You enter a brief discussion and come to find out that although they believe in Jesus, they also think that no one will ever go to hell, because Jesus saves everyone even if they aren’t believers, you know that this is incorrect theology. How do you respond?

· 2 Tim 2:24-25 “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,”

· 1 Peter 3:15 “15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,”

· Gal 6:1 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

b) Subject to the will of God:

You happen to find yourself in a disagreement with a teacher or your parent, you know that you are right, and yet you don’t see any signs of them acknowledging their own fault and still tell you to do as they say. What is your response?

· Isa 53:7 “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth.”

· Matt 26: 42 “Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”

· 1 Pet 5:5-6 “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you”

c) Being sensitive towards the burdens of others:

You are with a group of friends and there is always that one friend who seems to complain about something, how do you treat them?

· Titus 3:1 “Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. 3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others, and hating one another.”

· Jesus dealing with the needy leaper in Mark 1:40, the Girl who in Mark 5 had been dealing with bleeding for 12 years, the crowds of Judea in Mark 10:1 that constantly brought children to Jesus wanting them to be touched, that were turned away by the disciples, Jesus rebuked and continued to give of himself to the children.

· Be Gentle having Grace with others because God Himself is Gentle and Gracious with you. Isa 30:18 “Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. “

d) Having a kindness in all circumstances considering your strength:

You are much older than your sibling, finding patience and time to give to them for playing a game or helping with them with homework is a difficult task as is. Then when you finally do give of yourself to them and make sacrifices for them, they are obnoxious/argumentative or don’t want anything to do with you, how do you move forward?

· Prov 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

· James 3: 17 “17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere”

e) Is everything you do being prompted by love:

To all the scenarios I have just mentioned, you by Gods grace, happen to act gently. You reflect on the situation after the fact, was your heart moved to act in a gentle way because of Christs great love for you and therefore you feel compelled to act in the same way as Christ does with you? Or did you just do it to make your parents happy, to avoid detention or consequences or to look good in front of others?

· 2 Cor 5:14 “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”

· 1 Cor 16:14 “13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.”

B. What Being Gentle does not look like:

1) Illustration:

- I remember being in law school and the professor was working through a few legal concepts and he said something along the lines of we are going to have to make a list of what you can do and what you can’t do for each of these legal principals. Because it doesn’t help to only say you have freedom of speech but then not having any boundaries to what you can say is equally harmful and will most likely get you into a fair amount of trouble. In the same way when you look at what Gentleness is, you must also look at what gentleness is not. That way the road becomes even narrower and much clearer for us, especially in a world that is constantly looking to confuse us to what the truth is.

2) Questions:

1) can anyone give me a few characteristics that are opposed to Gentleness??

b. What Gentleness is not:

1) opposites include: 2 genres (active and passive)

- 1.1 Active: (Anger, Vengeance, Manipulation, Violence, Bitterness, Abrasive, Uncompassionate, Jealous, Rude, Self-Seeking, Proud, Passive Aggressive),

- 1.2 Passive: (Impotence, Lack of Courage, a Weak Leader, Lack of Power, Helpless or Fragile)

2) Revisiting the definition of Gentleness:

a. Gentleness is the essence of who Christ is at His core.

o Knowing who Christ is, is the key to helping us identify how to live a life that reflects a gentleness of heart. We know that Jesus, was never quick to anger, never manipulative, violent, bitter, abrasive, uncompassionate, jealous, self-seeking, proud or passive aggressive. So too in our pursuit to be gentle of heart we must be done with those things.

o We know Christ as gentle and humble of heart. We can only know how to be gentle by knowing who Christ is through His word, reading how He responded in various situations and for what reasons. We are to emulate Christ with our lives but to do that well we must put in the effort towards His word which shows us how He lived.

b. It is complete power under control.

o Gentleness does not mean that you are a passive individual that doesn’t stand for anything.

o Its at this point that world will try and deceive us, saying that God is gentle and accepts all as they come reveling in unrepentant sin. That is not the gentleness of God in the bible, it is not weak and carefree. God is still, perfectly Just, He impartially Judges the wicked, but through Christ offers us the forgiveness of our sins and an eternal inheritance in heaven with Christ Jesus.

o 1 peter 1: 16-19

“because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth; knowing that you were not aredeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the bloodof Christ.”

o This is the power that true biblical gentleness is rooted in and comes from.

o Therefore Gentleness can not be a lack of courage, or helpless and fragile. It is rooted in the knowledge that we deserved death and eternal hell, yet because of Christs Gentle and Lowly heart, inviting us to come to Him in our weakness, as sinners and to walk as he walked, repenting of our sins. He is merciful and quick to forgive, giving us rest for our souls.

o Now I urge you do not be quick to remember gentleness is rooted in power but also quick to forget that it is to be under control and subject to the will of God. It’s at this point that many of us, myself included start to see the wheels come off. We think complete power, yes!! And proceed to forget about the part where it is to be under control and subject to the will of God.

o Gentleness, does not come without humility, knowing that you deserve nothing and yet by Gods loving kindness received everything. Christ is gentle and LOWLY/HUMBLE of heart. If you rely on your own strength in life, you remain proud and cannot be gentle.

o Christ is calling the weak and the heavy laden, He is not calling the strong and proud who have need of nothing.

c. Subject to the Will of God.

o Gentleness can not be proud, but it also does not mean never say anything at all.

o How does Christ do this, He calls Himself Gentle and Lowly of Heart,

o But He also * Blasted the Temple system twice, stood fierlessly before a crowd that wanted to stone him to death, took on whips and death by crucifixion as the only righteous man to live among us.

o To think of Christ as cowardice is inconceivable. Yet the bible calls him meek, gentle, totally selfless, so how can He be these things and such a force against evil?

o The answer is this: Jesus never wielded His power to defend Himslef, but to defend His fathers reputation. “ You have taken my fathers house and turned it into a den of thieves.

o One of the most unique Characteristics of Gentleness is being fiercely defensive of God and not ones self

o He had all the power on earth and in heaven but never once used it for Himself, even to the point of death