Are You A Real Man 6-19-2022

ARE YOU A REAL MAN? Father's Day Sunday June 19, 2022 Scripture Reference: 1 Thessalonians 2:8-12 (NLV) Intro. A. [] Are you aware of the story behind Father's Day? Father's Day began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Having been raised by her father, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Her father was born in June, so naturally she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th day of June 1910. In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge proclaimed the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Now you know the history behind Father's Day. B. Now there is no denying that Father's Day is different from Mother's Day. Here's something I bet you didn't know. The greatest numbers of long distant phone calls are made on Mother's Day. On Father's Day the largest number of collect calls are made. Here is how a little boy defined difference between Father's Day and Mother's Day. He said that Father's Day was just like Mother's Day; the only difference is that you don't spend as much money on the gift. With my track record I think I will steer clear of that debate. 1. Now as I said Father's Day is different form Mother's Day. There are things that I can get away with on Father's Day that might get me lynched on Mother's Day. Things like I am about to share. I think this is something you ladies really need, and I know your husbands would never give this to you, so I want to do this for you today. It is a Man' Thesaurus. * When a man says "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" He means: "I have no idea how it works" * When a man says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD'' He means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner" * When a man says 'THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR.' He means: "Are you still talking?" * When a man says: "IT'S A GUY THING" He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical" * When a man says: "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER" He means: "Why isn't it ready yet?" * When a man says: "UH HUH, SURE HONEY," or "YES, DEAR" He means: Absolutely nothing - It's a conditioned response. * When a man says: "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." He means: " I can remember the theme song to 'Hogan's Heroes', the phone # of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned - but yes, I forgot your birthday" * When a man says: 'I CAN'T FIND IT.'' He means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hand, so I'm completely clueless" * When a man says: "I HEARD YOU." He means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you'll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me." * When a man says: "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!" He means: "Oh please don't try on one more outfit, we're late and I'm starving." * When a man says: "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.'' He means: "No one will ever see us alive again." * When a man says: "I DON'T THINK I CAN GO TODAY." He means: Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way. * When a man says: "I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING THAT" It's because he means: "Anything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days." When a man says: "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT" He means: "If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one. C. All kidding aside Father's play a very important role in the formation of our society. Unfortunately, in this day in which we live that role is either ignored or dramatically downplayed. Look at many of today's popular TV programs. Many of them portray the father as an inept fool who has no clue about what is going on in his own life let alone that of his family. I believe in many instances the father is seen as an expendable part of the family. I would encourage you to pay attention to TV programs and commercials and see how many of them don't even have a father in them at all. Did you know that recent statistics show that 39.9% of children go to bed each night without their biological father in the home? I think there is a direct correlation between the way we see our earthly fathers and the way we see our Heavenly Father. The undervaluation and elimination of Fathers in our society is seen in the way we think about God our Father as well. 1. [] I remember when we attended the Promise Keeper events there were some men who used to wear these t-shirts that said, "Real men Love Jesus". A lot of other things have been added to that phrase "Real Men". "Real men don't eat quiche." "Real men don't cry". "Real men don't wear pink." What is a REAL man? Well, I think I can answer that question at least in part for us today as we consider what it means to be a real father. Look with me at our scripture text for today in 1 Thessalonians 2:8-12 "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. 9 Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you. 10 You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous, and blameless we were among you who believed. 11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory." I Thessalonians 2:8-12 (NIV) 2. There are five things I want to draw from these verses that I think show us what a REAL man is. Let's look at them, shall we? I. A REAL MAN IS ABLE TO EXPRESS LOVE. Look with me again at V.8 "We loved you so much". Now I think that most men would say that expressing love is not a natural trait. A. This Is Not A Natural Trait. 1. One of the things that amazes me about mothers, especially first-time mothers like it was with my wife and it is with my daughter is how much they seem to know about their children without any classes or instruction manuals. They know when a child's cry is for food or attention or sleep. They know how to change a diaper, how to hold the baby because it doesn't have the muscle support in its neck yet. Now what about us fathers? Isn't it true that our wives have to teach us how to do all these things? [] I remember a long time ago when Sue and Shellee went out shopping and they left me with my granddaughter, but she was asleep. Well, she woke up before they got back, and Malloree was not happy. Did I know right away what to do? I sure did, I got my cell phone and called Sue. The baby is up and she's not happy what am I supposed to do?" 2. Did you know that the bible does not instruct wives to love their husbands? Why is that? I suggest it is because this comes naturally for women, but the bible does instruct husbands to love their wives and I believe that is because this is not natural for us. For us discipline comes easily, isn't that why mothers are trained to say, "Wait until your father comes home." 3. What we need to understand is that even if expressing love does not come natural for us as men it is still something we need to learn to do. I think for some of us who are a little older (and you know who you are) we have been trained to believe that expressing love makes us less of a man, but I dare you ask your wife or your children if they think you expressing love to them makes you less of a man or a father. I think I already know the answer. Trans. Now I need to add this important point. B. Discipline Is Also An Act Of Love. 1. Now it is not an act of love because we love to do it alright. Allow me to site the biblical examples. "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them." Proverbs 13:24 (NIV) "Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives." Proverbs 19:18 (NIV) "And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, "My child, don't make light of the LORD's discipline, and don't give up when he corrects you.6 For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child." 7 As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?8 If God doesn't discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.9 Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn't we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? 10 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.11 No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening-it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." Hebrews 12:5-11 (NIV) 2. Why do we discipline? Is it to relieve our frustration with our kids? Is it for me to feel better? NO! The purpose of discipline is to redirect our children into the way that is right. That is why discipline needs to be painful in some way. It needs to say to our children that it is not enjoyable to do this thing that caused my being disciplined. Trans. Oh there is so much more I wanted to share under this point, but I need to move along. Here is something else a real man does. II. A REAL MAN LIVES A TRANSPARENT LIFE. Look with me in V.8 "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us." Here is what I believe. A. If Your Are A Christian Father Your Family Ought To Know It. 1. [] I can't help but be drawn back to an illustration I know I have used before. About the young lady in my home church whose parents were our worship leaders. They were professional singers who even had a few albums recorded. I vividly remember how the mother used to almost every week stand on the platform and testify to her great love for God. I was the teen leader in the church at that time and their teenage daughter had accepted Christ and she was to share her testimony one Sunday morning in church, but when the service began, I couldn't find her. Eventually I did find her and asked her what was going on. She told me she couldn't go through with it because what she saw every week on the platform from her parents was nothing like what went on in their home Sunday afternoon. Her parents were living a lie and by the way that fact came out a few years later when the father had an affair. Now I will say as I have said many times before that this young lady will not be able to blame her failure to follow Christ on her parents. She is accountable and responsible for her own decisions but be sure we are parents who are given the responsibility of raising our children in the ways of the Lord will bear a great responsibility. 2. I see two very key ingredients in being a good example. Paul said that they not only shared the "Good News" that is the gospel or as we would say today "sharing the bible" they shared their lives as well. Let's just be honest and say that it is a lot easier to say, "Here is what the bible says you need to do." "Here is how the bible says you are to live your life." It's a lot easier to do that than it is to live those same truths out in your own life right? I often joke that the reason I became a parent was that I could finally say, "Do as I say and not as I do." Yet this is precisely what some of us parents try to do. We think we can lay down the law without having to live it and few other things will discourage and frustrate our children than parents who say one thing but live another. 3. You say you are a Christian dad? Great! Let's see it! Let's see it in the decisions that we make. How do we make decisions with our money? Do we say, "I love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength but when it comes to money God only gets what might be leftover or does He get the first fruits as the bible instructs? What are the values we are portraying to our children? The world says that what matters are power, pleasure, and possessions. As Christian fathers we are supposed to be expressing that what matters to us. So are we expressing biblical values in the way we live or are we saying by the way we live that the values of this world are what is important to us? 4. Here is something extremely important that I need you to consider. "What is the church you are leaving behind?" Oh, I know that children can rise up and be better than they were taught or trained in some cases but I also know that the church we leave behind is most likely going to be the church we raised up. Trans. Let me say one more thing about our transparent lives. B. A REAL Man Is Not Afraid To Admit His Failures. 1. I think we need to use due discretion here, but we are only fooling ourselves if we think we are portraying to our kids that we have no faults or failures. How will they ever know that growth through our faults is possible or that there can be recovery from failure if we pretend to not be affected by these things ourselves? Most importantly how can they know they can go to their Heavenly Father for help and forgiveness if we don't show them that we have had to do this ourselves? Trans. Here is something else that is true about real men. III. A REAL MAN IS SELF-LESS NOT SELFISH. Let's look at V.9 "Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you." I am going to leave the obvious part of this point for your own consideration that is the sharing of what we have with others. What I want to speak to you about today is what else Paul said to these Thessalonians. I think the lesson for us here is: A. We Should Teach Our Children A Good Work Ethic. 1. Now let me say right at the outset that a good work ethic does not mean a dad who works 12 hours a day, six days a week to supposedly "provide for his family". Oh, I will grant you that you will provide the "stuff" for your family by doing this but what you will not provide for them is what they really need. [] Speaking of admission of failure, I did this very thing when I began being a pastor. When I began pastoring, I worked all day and called every night or was in a meeting. Now I know some of this was necessary but to be honest most of it was needed more for my ego than for ministry. It made me feel important and indispensable, but it caused me to be a failure in many was in my own home. Once again, I give the credit where credit is due and when it comes to how great our two girls are most of the credit goes to Sue. 2. I believe that a good work ethic means that we teach our kids that if they accept a job that they give their very best at that job whether they like it or not. If you really don't like the job, then quit and find another one but don't steal money from your employer by not doing the work you were hired to do. A good work ethic means that we do more than just what our job requires. These days it means I don't spend company time surfing the web or texting my friends or shopping on Amazon. You might as well be sticking your hand in the cash drawer when you do this. This is not what you were hired to do. 3. Now let me say one more thing here. One way to teach your children a good work ethic is to teach them before they are hired on a job. Our kinds ought to have responsibilities around the home. Take out the trash, put the dishes in the dishwasher, mow the yard, vacuum the carpet, or whatever else. Should they be paid, yes, I think so but if they do not work or do as they are asked then payment should be withheld. Paul said, "If a man does not work, he should not eat." Trans. Ok here is one more trait of a real man. IV. A REAL MAN HAS GENUINE SPIRITUALITY. Let's look now at V.10 "You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous, and blameless we were among you who believed." I have just one question to ask of you dads today. A. Can You Say That? 1. We may not like it dads, but the fact remains that we are called of God to be the spiritual leaders of our homes. We are either leading our families closer to God or further away there are no other alternatives. Genuine spirituality is not a Sunday thing, OK? If you carry your bible to church but never open it Monday through Saturday what is that saying to your kids? If you pray on Sunday but not through the rest of the week what does that say about your faith? 2. Now I know I have said this many times, but I am pretty sure that our immediate reaction to these words of Paul is, "Well I can't be perfect like that." Well Paul was not saying, "Hey look at me and the perfect life I am living." Let me quickly show you what Paul was talking about when he talked about his holy, righteous, and blameless life. a) The holiness we have talked about many times. It still means a life that is set apart from the rest of the world. It goes back to what we talked about earlier in that we live our lives by a totally different set of values and priorities. b) The righteousness that Paul speaks of here means that he had been living his life according to the standards God had set. For us it simply means that we are people who get our life direction from the Bible and not Fox news or the LA Times. c) This third one I think looks the toughest. How many of us feel we are blameless? Probably not many, but blameless as we think of it is not what Paul meant. What this word means is that we are able to stand in the face of critics who would in fact accuse us or blame us. For us it doesn't mean we have no room for growth or improvement but that we know we are striving to live this holy and righteous life and in doing so we can stand in the face of criticism and not be ashamed. 3. A REAL man is a man with a faith that his children would want to emulate. Trans. There is one more thing Paul said here but I won't elaborate on this but at least let me show it to you for your consideration. In V.11-12 we see that a real man is a positive influence. Look at how this is translated in the For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, 12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. V. A REAL MAN IS A POSITIVE INFLUENCE. I think there are four ways Paul says we can be a positive influence. A. By Encouraging. 1. It is SO easy to be discouraged. We need to work hard at encouraging. B. By Comforting. 1. Here is where we step in when failures occur. C. By Urging or Admonishing. 1. Here is where we have to be the one who disciplines and says, "This was wrong." D. By Glorifying God. 1. Paul told the Corinthian church that they were to glorify God in everything they did. So are we? Conclusion A. Here is the one thing I want to leave you dads with this morning. I think the single greatest thing we could do today is follow the example of Joshua who said in Joshua 24:14-15 "So fear the LORD and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD alone.15 But if you refuse to serve the LORD, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:14-15 (NIV) 1. Would you be the dad with enough courage and conviction to stand up today before your family and this family of God and say, "As for me and my family, we will serve the LORD." If you are then I invite you to do so right here and now and let me pray with you to become just this kind of Father and husband. 4 2