Guidelines for Training Children

Introduction

Parents, be diligent in continuously examining your own walk in Jesus Christ as you guide your children in the ways of the Lord. Start discussing and planning the training of your children even before they are born. Pray consistently as you learn and practice Scriptural directives for raising your children. After your children are born, firmly hold to your commitment to follow God’s Word in training each child according to his age and training needs (based on Psalm 37:4-5; Proverbs 16:3, 22:6; Matthew 7:1-5; 1 Corinthians 1:10; Ephesians 4:1-3, 6:4; 1 Thessalonians 5:17).

A Parent’s Commitment to the Lord

A spiritual new birth is required to understand Biblical principles for bringing up children.

1 Corinthians 2:14 KJV 1900

14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

Parents are to demonstrate their commitment of love to the Lord by rearing their children in a manner that pleases Him (based on Colossians 1:10, 3:17).

A Parent’s Commitment to God’s Word

Scripture is the sole authority for life and is the only basis by which children can be brought up in order to please the Lord (2 Timothy 3:14-17). Man’s way is totally inadequate (Proverbs 14:12; Isaiah 55:8-11).

Continual Biblical self-evaluation and faithful obedience to Scripture are required for parents to avoid spiritual delusion concerning the things of God (James 1:22) and to avoid hypocrisy in correcting their children (Matthew 7:1-5).

The Commitment of Parents to Each Other

Believing parents are to be one in mind and judgment (based on 1 Corinthians 1:10; Philippians 2:2). Even if your spouse is not a believer, your faithful, loving commitment to the one-flesh relationship of marriage is designed by God to help unify you and your spouse, resulting in godly influence in the lives of your children (based on Genesis 2:18, 24; Matthew 19:5-6; Mark 10:6-8; 1 Corinthians 7:10-14; Ephesians 5:31).

Each parent, as a committed believer in Christ, is to submit to the other (Ephesians 5:21), to love one another (Ephesians 5:25, 28; Titus 2:4), and to regard the other as more important than himself (Philippians 2:3-4). However, in loving servanthood (John 13:14-16; Philippians 2:3-4) the father, as the head of the family, is to take the responsibility for leadership in the rearing of children (Ephesians 5:23, 6:4; Colossians 3:21).

The Commitment of Believing Parents to Their Children

Parents are to carry out their responsibilities to their children as godly servants, following the example of the Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 20:25-28; John 13:12-17; Philippians 2:3-8).

Because a believing family is a smaller unit of the local church, all involved (both parents and children) are to fulfill all the directives of God’s Word. Parents are to be godly examples for their children (based on Deuteronomy 4:9, 6:8-9; Matthew 18:5-7; 1 Corinthians 4:14-16, 11:1; 1 Timothy 4:12; Titus 2:7), and are to point to Jesus Christ as the ultimate example for them to follow (John 13:12-17; Philippians 2:5-8; Hebrews 12:1-3; 1 Peter 2:21).

Parents are to regard their children as more important than themselves and are to lay aside their own self-centered interests. Parents are to respond lovingly to their children and provide for them in a manner that pleases the Lord (1 Corinthians 13:4-8; 2 Corinthians 12:14; Philippians 2:3-4).

Parents must not be quarrelsome, either with each other or with their children, but instead must be kind, gentle, and patient in all things. Parents must teach God’s Word and the practice of it and, as necessary, provide correction with their children violate Scriptural standards (Proverbs 15:10; 2 Timothy 2:24-26).

When parents sin against their children, they are to confess their transgression to the Lord as well as to their children (based on James 5:16; 1 John 1:9).

Parents are to put off provoking their children to anger but instead are to rear them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). Relying on God’s Word, you are to be faithful in helping your children become equipped and adequate for every good work by training them in righteousness through teaching, reproof, and correction (based on 2 Timothy 3:16-17).

You are to bring up your children in the instruction of the Lord, teaching them how to obey God’s Word, the necessity of doing so, and the consequences of disobedience as follows:

Show your children faithful obedience to the Lord by the example of your walk (based on Deuteronomy 6:5-7; 1 Corinthians 11:1; 1 Timothy 4:12; 2 Timothy 1:5);

Teach (instruct) your children God’s Word and His way whenever you are with them during the daily routine of life (Deuteronomy 6:6-7; 2 Timothy 3:16); and

Increase the responsibilities of your children based on their demonstrated and increasing faithfulness and capabilities (based on Matthew 25:14-29; Luke 16:10).

You are to bring up your children in the discipline of the Lord, graciously instructing them by reproof and correction as follows:

Establish simply, clear-cut guidelines and consequences as God did in directing His people (based on Genesis 2:16-17; Exodus 20:3-17; Deuteronomy 11:26-28). Clearly explain these Biblically-based standards of conduct to avoid confusion or misunderstandings (based Exodus 31:18, 34:1; Deuteronomy 4:13-14; Matthew 22:37-39; John 14:15).

Carry out discipline in a loving manner (based on Proverbs 6:23, 15:10, 19:18, 22:15, 23:13; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Hebrews 12:5-11; Revelation 3:19) and apply it quickly (Ecclesiastes 8:11) in order to restore your child while there is hope (based on Proverbs 19:18, 23:14; Hebrews 12:11).

Tailor the sternness of the discipline to the child’s willingness to return and follow God’s way (based on Proverbs 15:10).

If a child remains foolish (as shown by continued disobedience and disrespect), use the rod as a tool of restoration, not as a punishment (Proverbs 22:15, 29:15).

If a child repents of his wrongdoings, exercise gracious compassion as God does for those who sin and repent (based on Psalm 103:10-14).

The Commitment of Children to the Lord

The necessity of the spiritual new birth applies to all, beginning at the earliest age of comprehension. In fact, children are considered as especially tender to the Lord (Matthew 18:2-6; Mark 9:35-37; Luke 17:2).

Children are to demonstrate their commitment to the Lord by their demeanor, speech, and actions (based on Exodus 20:12; Proverbs 20:11; Ephesians 6:1-2; Colossians 3:20; 1 Timothy 4:12; 2 Timothy 3:15).

The Commitment of Children to Their Parents

Out of a commitment to please the Lord in all things (2 Corinthians 5:9; Colossians 1:10), children are to put off disrespect for their parents and are to honor their father and mother (Exodus 20:12; Proverbs 23:22; Mark 7:10; Ephesians 6:2).

Out of a commitment to please the Lord in all things, children are to obey their parents (Proverbs 6:20; Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20).