16: What Real Love Looks Like (1 Cor 13)

As we have been learning, spiritual gifts are meant for the glory of God and the good of others. Today we turn our attention to our intention, to live out what Real Love Looks Like. And, I think you’ll find, that - in context - this passage is more amazing than you thought it was!

John MacArthur writes: “This chapter is a breath of fresh air, an oasis in a desert of problems. It is a positive note in the midst of almost continual reproof and correction of wrong understandings, wrong attitudes, wrong behavior, and wrong use of God’s ordinances and gifts.” 1

This passage is often read at weddings, but rarely is it attached to the context of the rest of the writing. So, let’s...

CATCH THE CONTEXT

Several weeks back we finished 1 Cor 12 with these words from Paul.

1 Corinthians 12:27–31 (CSB)

Now you [plural] are the body of Christ, and individual members of it. And God has appointed these in the church: first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, next miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, leading, various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all do miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But desire the greater gifts. And I will show you an even better way.

Every disciple of Jesus is gifted, but not with the same gifts. God wants us to put those gifts into practice and I hope you have taken the time or WILL take the time to discover your gifts and how that fits into how God has SHAPEd you to serve.

I encourage you to go back to our website (FOM.life) and check out our previous teachings, as well as pick up/download the Spiritual Gifts Discovery and SHAPE Profile in your notes.

Although every gift is important, distributed by the Holy Spirit as just was He wants (1 Cor 12:11, 18),

Paul encourages his audience to desire the greater gifts - gifts that impact a greater amount of people.

We will talk more about the greater gifts in chapter 14, but today we will see what Paul meant when he says I will show you an even better way.

We aren’t to use these gifts for the glory of self, but for the glory of God & the good of others.

Paul is going to show us What Real Love Looks Like.

Our culture has mutilated & disfigured what LOVE really is.

Love - according to our culture - is rarely sacrificial - considering how to put others first, but often selfish - what’s in it for me. It’s more often about pleasure than purity.

We live in a messed up world, where people want to do whatever they want - even in blatant disobedience to our Creator - and just keep repeating the phrase “Love is love.”

But, just because we call it “love” doesn’t mean it is.

And Christians are just as likely to misuse and abuse what “love” really is. That’s why I’m so thankful that God gives us clarity to see What Real Love Looks Like, through this rhythmic poem we typically refer to as “the love chapter.”

Let’s read the whole thing and then dig up the treasures verse by verse.

1 Corinthians 13 (CSB)

If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known. Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love—but the greatest of these is love.

NOW, with the context of SPIRITUAL GIFTS ringing in our ears, let’s look at the “better way” of putting our gifts into practice.

1 Corinthians 13:1 (CSB)

If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

There is much debate over what angelic tongues means. Were people able to speak this language? Some think this is what they speak today - a heavenly angelic language. I don’t think that’s what biblical tongues is - as demonstrated in Acts 2 (it was a human language known to other people).

But that’s not the point of the passage.

The point is - even if we could speak all kinds of languages, and even communicate with angels, if we do not have love, the language we are using is irritating instead of encouraging - like a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. You don’t want to listen to that for long!

If you have the gift of tongues, but don’t demonstrate love to others, what you have to say is just a bunch of NOISE.

And Paul adds 3 more spiritual gifts to the mix.

1 Corinthians 13:2 (CSB)

If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.

Imagine one person able to speak on behalf of God with the gift of prophecy, understanding the deep mysteries with the gift of knowledge, AND with extraordinary faith that believes God for big things, and seems to trust God during the midst of incredible difficulty.

What an incredible resource this person would be to the Church! Imagine knowing someone who could answer all your Bible questions, and explain deep things in ways you can understand, & trust God with a faith you’ve never encountered before.

EXCEPT…all these great gifts are LACKING LOVE.

Have you ever known someone who knew the Bible, spoke the truth of God, had vast knowledge, and trusted God in a way you wish you could…BUT…you didn’t want to approach that person for help, because they didn’t LOVE you nor others.

Without LOVE, this person would likely become prideful, arrogant, and look down on those who can’t match his/her prophecy, knowledge, or faith.

Warren Wiersbe says it well: “Spiritual gifts, no matter how exciting and wonderful, are useless and even destructive if they are not ministered in love.”2

And then there’s the spiritual gift of GIVING.

1 Corinthians 13:3 (CSB)

And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

BOAST or BURN?

Some translations like King James, ESV, and NAS refer to giving one’s body to be burned, but the Greek term in more important manuscripts contain boast while other manuscripts have burn, the difference of ONLY ONE LETTER that a copyist got wrong at some point. (kauchēsōmai = I might boast; kauthēsomai = “I will burn”) 3

This giving over of the body might even refer to the ancient practice of selling yourself into slavery to raise funds to give to the poor. 4

To give away material possessions and to give over your body are both HUGE sacrifices, to be applauded.

The problem is that this person is living for the applause of people and these ‘sacrificial acts of service’ are really being done to boast.

This person would be doing great things, but for the wrong reasons - to bring glory to him/herself rather than for the good of others and the glory of God.

All those giftings - without love - are EMPTY, nothing.

BUT…those people with those gifts who LIVE out of LOVE for God and others, are giving a little glimpse into what life on the other side of eternity is going to be like. Those are the kind of people who show the world...

What Real Love Looks Like!

Let’s take a look at that.

1 Corinthians 13:4–5 (CSB)

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

This is so intriguing to me, as Paul starts with 2 characteristics of what love IS, and then follows with 8 characteristics of what love ISN’T - maybe because people have so often seen what should not have been.

PATIENT & KIND

When I think of people who LOVE well, these first 2 characteristics all ALWAYS true - People who lOVE well are patient and kind. You don’t often think of those who are impatient and unkind as being loving.

Since “God is love” (1 Jn 4:16), and since love is patient and kind, then God is patient and kind. How patient and kind has God been to YOU? How many times could He have thrown a lightning bolt through your cranium?

8 THINGS LOVE DOESN’T DO

And now we hear the 8 things love doesn’t do.

Love does not envy when good things happen to others.

Love is not boastful, arrogant. What’s the opposite of that? Love is humble.

Love is not rude - a term referring to “disgrace, embarrassment, and shame” 5 The NIV translates this as “It does not dishonor others.”

Love is not self-seeking, not demanding it’s own way (ESV, NLT) but puts others first.

R. C. H. Lenski, a well-known Bible commentator, said, “Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.”6

Love is not irritable or easily angered (NET, NIV), because love focuses on the PERSON instead of the PROBLEM.

Love does not keep a record of wrongs. This is a bookkeeping phrase related to keeping a record of those who owe money to the business. That’s okay in business relationships, but it’s NOT okay in the people business.

Again, aren’t you grateful that all these characteristics are true of our Gracious God?!?

…especially this last one - that God doesn’t keep an account of the sins of those who turn from sin and trust Him (2 Cor 5:19).

2 Corinthians 5:19 (CSB)

That is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and he has committed the message of reconciliation to us.

So too, these next characteristics echo the nature of God.

1 Corinthians 13:6–7 (CSB)

Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Christians should find no joy in what is not right - unrighteousness. Christians must not celebrate what God hates - that includes sexual impurity, drunkenness, evil talk, dirty jokes,

[joke] rooting for the Florida Gators.

Instead, Christians should rejoice in the truth. We celebrate when good triumphs and when wickedness is judged.

For the sake of truth...

love bears all things - it supports others by providing for them, protecting them, and being patient with them.7

For the sake of truth...love believes all things - that doesn’t mean we believe false teachings and trust people who lie - it means that we believe what is true & what is good, and we believe all that God says.

For the sake of truth...love hopes all things - Love hopes the best for others.

For the sake of truth...love endures all things - the good times and the bad things.

1 Corinthians 13:8–10 (CSB)

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end.

Ultimately, this poem points to the final return of Jesus and the resurrection of the dead, which Paul will highlight to close out this writing in chapter 15.

Prophecies, tongues, and knowledge...will come to an end...when the perfect comes.

When Jesus is standing before us, there will be no need for anyone else to tell us what God is saying or meaning through prophecy, tongues, nor knowledge.

THAT is the day we look forward to, as Jesus returns, all that is incomplete will become fully complete. Just as a child grows and matures, we look forward to the day that our knowledge of our Creator will grow to full maturity.

1 Corinthians 13:11–12 (CSB)

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.

Corinth was well known in the ancient world for producing some of the finest bronze mirrors available, but even then the image wasn’t close to the crystal clarity of our mirrors of today.

I love high quality video. Looking forward to the football season, my family and I were watching some older football highlights, and before the day of HD and 4k resolution, it just looks blurry. You can tell what’s going on, but you can’t really appreciate the brilliance of the colors and the clarity of the action. But now, watching it on TV is often like sitting in the stands just feet from the action!

So too, what we can currently see of God is limited on this side of eternity, but we will soon experience the high definition of being face to face with our Creator & Redeemer, to know fully His Presence, power, & character. Oh what a day that will be!

As Mercy Me asks in “I Can Only Imagine”...

Surrounded by Your glory What will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus Or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence Or to my knees, will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine

Until that moment...

1 Corinthians 13:13-14:1a (CSB)

Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love—but the greatest of these is love. Pursue love and desire spiritual gifts...

How is love the greatest of these 3 incredible traits?

Ben Witherington says it well: “Faith will become sight and hope will be fulfilled, but love will simply carry on, presumably amplified and purified into a perfect condition. It is the one attribute that is to bridge this [current earthly] age and the…[coming eternal] reality.”8

Until then, we are to continue to pursue love - the kind of love God has shown us, AND to desire spiritual gifts to glorify God and for the good of others. (More on that next week.)

NT Wright will help us land this plane with these words:

“The point of 1 Corinthians 13 is that love is not our duty; it is our destiny. It is the language Jesus spoke, and we are called to speak it so that we can converse with him. It is the food they eat in God’s new world, and we must acquire the taste for it here and now. It is the music God has written for all his creatures to sing, and we are called to learn it and practice it now so as to be ready when the conductor brings down his baton. It is the resurrection life, and the resurrected Jesus calls us to begin living it with him and for him right now.”9

“If we are to be true to our risen Lord we will need, again and again, to retune our instruments and practice once more alongside our fellow musicians.”10

Will we take the time to see if we have been playing out of tune and get back to demonstrating What Real Love Looks Like to the world that God so loves?

_____________

John F. MacArthur Jr., 1 Corinthians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody Press, 1984), 328.

Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bible Exposition Commentary, vol. 1 (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 610.

Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible, Second Edition. (Denmark: Thomas Nelson, 2019).

Craig Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), 259.

Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (New York: United Bible Societies, 1996), 758.

MacArthur, 1 Corinthians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody Press, 1984), 344–345.

David Platt, “The Cross and Christian Love,” in David Platt Sermon Archive (Birmingham, AL: David Platt, 2013), 4064.

Ben Witherington III, Conflict and Community in Corinth: A Socio-Rhetorical Commentary on 1 and 2 Corinthians (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1995), 272.

Tom Wright, Surprised by Hope (London: Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, 2007), 301.

Wright, 298.

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Discussion Questions

What challenged or encouraged you most from today’s teaching? You might need to look back in your notes to help explain your answer.

You’ve probably heard “The Love Chapter” (1 Cor 13) quoted at a wedding, but how has studying the context (tied to spiritual gifts) helped you to understand it better?

Read all of 1 Cor 12:31-13:7 and share with one another what stands out to you the most.

Read 1 Cor 13:8-12. While some use this passage to say some of these gifts have already ceased, when and why can we expect this gifts to no longer be necessary? What ULTIMATE day is this pointing to and why should it be a day we look forward to?

Read 1 Cor 13:13-14:1. Share some practical ways WE can pursue love this week in our homes, at our jobs, in our community, and with our church.

What other questions has this teaching or discussion prompted for us to talk about?

Share prayer needs and pray for one another.