Ready to Fly

Psalm 127:3–5 NIV

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.

Introduction

Lighthouse are you ready for the rest of our talk about motivating our children today?

If you missed last week, it is incumbent that you go back and watch last week’s message.

I will even go so far as to say every student needs to watch that message! Not just Mom and Dad, but everyone under this tent!

I was told by some of our parents that the children are catching Mom and Dad doing the things you are not supposed to do to motivate their children and they are reminding their parents.

Lord have mercy… I love it...

Transition

But today, I’ve got just as much advise for our children as I do our parents. So I’m going to spread this all out today and we got something for everyone.

Motivation

Last week we began a conversation about launching our arrows into the world. There are three basic things that are required to launch an arrow.

The first is aim, and that is cultivating a vision for the life of our children, based on discovering and developing their gifts.

The second is to pull back the string, which is to develop the internal motivation in your child to want to accomplish their dreams.

Lastly, we release the arrow, which is sending our children out into the world knowing that in spite of everything that is against them, they will hit the target of their life.

So we talked about aim last week, and we began to talk about how we can develop internal motivation in the life of our children. We are going to continue with that today.

Last week I gave you 5 Things Not To Do, and as promised, I’m going to hit you with 6 Things You Need To Do.

Are you ready? Here we go.

Provide a Motivational Environment

The Atmosphere and Attitude of the home matters. We concluded with this thought last week that we should never underestimate the power of a positive parent!

Imagine if your son misses the key goal of a soccer game and the parent comes back and tells them, “I knew you weren’t going to make that goal! You should have been practicing, but instead you were playing Fort Nite.”

No, we’re not going to do that because we are going to speak life into our children!

Author’s Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelson record that every graduating class from 1963 until 1983, every succeeding graduating class scored lower in achievement, motivation and discipline than the class before, and they showed an increase in destructive behaviors.

Let me simplify that for everyone here, there is a correlation between lack of motivation and increased destructive behaviors. We read this verse last week, let’s read it again.

John 10:10 NIV

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

When you are not living that full life, the opposite of that is a life that is susceptible to destructive behaviors.

So what do we do Mom and Dad?

Know The Stage of Your Child

Children will cycle through these three stages - discovery, testing, and conclusions.

When your children are in one of these stages it is imperative that you come alongside their stage and provide the environment for that to thrive!

0-5 Discovery

5-10 Testing

10-12 Conclusions!

Middle School/ Junior High Discovery

High School Testing

College Conclusions!

Many parents struggle with the testing stage because we don’t want our kids to test. We would rather they listen to the conclusions that we reached through OUR TESTING.

Mom and Dad, let’s not forget that you were young once and you tested as well. We would rather they learn from our conclusions, but they are wired to test for themselves.

The better thing to do is to shape what they test. Be smart about what they test.

look for serving experiences for your kids so they can test their faith.

get them on a missions trip

if you are able to, expose them to the history of our country and ask them hard questions

Mom and Dad, you are your child’s primary teacher.

2. Expose Your Children to Significant Experiences

Our kids are over exposed to information. They have the world at their finger tips through the advancement of technology. What it has done is create this facade that they are better prepared for life.

I’d argue that the limitations previous generations faced better prepared for life because their childhood was an internship for life.

If people wanted to see the other side of the world, they saved their money and worked hard to make that experience happen. Now, you can jump on Google Earth and see the Great Wall of China without actually going.

So Mom and Dad, it’s going to be very hard to completely limit your children, and I’m not advocating for that, but now we must be intentional about what we are exposing our children to.

Kids need a high sensory environment!

They learn better outside of a classroom, and better outside of their bedroom.

Jesus didn’t teach in the temple as much as he taught through being outside and doing ministry among others.

Luke 5:4–5 (NIV)

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”

Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”

What happens next? They caught so many fish that they needed help from other nearby boats to bring it all in.

What do you think that experience did for their faith?

The Bible says that from that day forward, Peter stopped fishing and followed Jesus full time.

We need experiences that are significant for both the cognitive, emotional, and spiritual development of our children.

Joanna and I have worked very hard to provide a great home for our kids, and we don’t want them to go through what we went through. Joanna while in High School needed to take public transportation in order to get to school. Not the school bus, but the trolley, in order to get to school. So naturally, that’s an experience we don’t want for our kids.

One year I decided to take my kids down to Comic Con and they had recently finished the Rapid Transit Lanes that is a 20 minute bus ride from South Bay to Downtown. I took my kids on a bus ride, and that was their favorite memory of the year.

Not the nice vacation. Not staying in our time share. Not the plane ride to Hawaii, but the bus ride to Comic Con.

Why?

The experience was significant. It exposed them to environments that the life we’ve provided for them had not afforded them.

3. Point Them to the Future

One of the things Jesus was great at was taking pain, hurt, and struggle, and using it to point a person towards their future.

There is a passage of scripture so perfectly shows us how we do this.

A woman was caught in an act of cheating on her husband. The religious leaders of that time tried to trap Jesus in his words so they brought her to him and asked him if they should follow the law and stone her to death. They tried to trap Jesus in his words, but he managed to trap them in their hearts when he asked said, “let the person without sin cast the first stone.”

When that moving scene is over look at Jesus’ words.

John 8:10–11 (NIV)

Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

As parents, we want to be consistently pointing them to the direction that they need to head in. The future that God has for them/

I’ve shared this story about a Pastor who on the night before Easter got a call from the Sheriff because his son had been involved in under age drinking. The Pastor made his way to where his son was, and there were other kids there too. On his way to where his son was he could hear another Dad laying into his son. Berating him with words. Right within ear reach to everyone around him.

But this Pastor made his way to where his son was and looked him in the eye and told him, “I have never loved you more than I do right now. And you have never needed me more than you do right now. This is not you. This is not who you are. You are a child of God. Now let’s go home, we have Easter tomorrow.”

Our children are not on a linear journey and if we are not constantly course correcting, one day we’ll see our kids far from their destiny and the road back is going to be difficult.

But as parents we must constantly point the way to where they should go. Teaching them to let go of things that are not for them.

4. Develop Dialogue

Fight for both family time, and time alone with your children.

The scene in many homes is that once the family comes home, they all go in different directions. Your kids go to their room, the husband goes to his man cave or his garage alone, and Mom is taking care of the house. You can be home and be disconnected.

I want you to get this language - don’t keep up the house at the expense of keeping up the home.

Do these two things:

1. fight for family meals that are distraction free.

2. fight for alone time with your children.

Get alone with your kids and talk to them about what they want to talk about.

Go do things with them that they want to do. If they want to go to the mall, take them. If they want to go sky diving, find the indoor one and take them.

I’ve shared with the church that I was not much of a Marvel guy. I’m a Denzel Washington guy. But my son Jaden, he’s a Marvel guy. So what’s our thing now? Marvel. We have a dialogue forming around something that interests him. We share experiences together, like going to midnight premieres to watch new releases… although he informed this old man that mid night premieres are no longer a thing. Whatever, that’s OK.

But the point is, we develop a dialogue with our children. We, as the parents, do the hard work to find that common ground and use it to motivate our children.

5. Integrate Christian Service into the Home

As believers we see throughout the Bible that we are to serve one another. It was rooted in the way of Jesus. He explained this many times to his followers, and he did so by always leading the way.

John 13:14–17 (NIV)

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.

I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.

Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Even on the night that he would be arrested Jesus’ first act with his disciples was to wash their feet.

You may or may not have noticed, but every single Pastor on our Team here at Lighthouse is also on the Dream Team. Every single one of them has a spot either at the Welcome Team, Production Team, Host Team, or LKids. Why? Because leaders lead, not by what they say, but by what they do.

And if you are too big to serve, then you are too small to lead.

I believe that in the same way, as parents we must model this life of service to others to our children.

Let me draw from an organization that many of us know of, Alcoholics Anonymous, or what we call the AA.

The author Simon Sinek writes in his book, Leaders Eat Last, that few if any of the alcoholics enrolled in the program will reach sobriety if they do not make it to Step 12 of the 12 Step Program. The 12th Step is to help another alcoholic beat the disease. Step 12 is all about service.

Let me hit you with another bit of information from this same book.

When you serve others your body will naturally produce healthy Oxytocin, which actually helps you to live longer.

There are people getting hooked on a drug that your body will naturally produce just by serving others.

Mom and Dad, that’s why you’ve got to live a life that models Jesus and specifically in service to others. You can start here on the Dream Team. We actually put you on a Team that is a compliment to your Spiritual Gifts (not just some Team picked at random) and it gives you the place to not only serve others, but now you are meeting new people, furthering the mission of the church, and you are on the front lines of impacting the life of someone new to our church.

Because here’s the deal, every Sunday there are new people walking into our parking lot. Every Sunday.

Conclusion

6. Give Heavy Doses of Encouragement

Parents… we need to be heavy on encouragement, and the best way for this to happen is for it to come from a place where we have much to give them.

You see, you can’t give to your children what you don’t have.

Thankfully, we ave both God’s word, and we have the Holy Spirit. You’ve got to be filled with both. You’ve got to be filled with the Spirit of God and word of God, and you will have what you need to give to them.

As I said there are three things that need to happen to release and arrow, but Zach and I got to talking last week about additional contributing factors to an archer’s success.

A skilled archer will not attempt to fire off arrows cold. The archer, just like every other athlete, needs to warm up in order to be effective. In triathlon, and when I would race, if I wasn’t already sweating before the race I was in trouble. You can’t race cold.

In the same way, you can pull back a cold arrow and be cold. You have got to be warm… and the Bible says that we can not only be full of the Spirit, but we can be Baptized by with the Spirit and with Fire. Talk about being warm.

So Mom and Dad, what’s the temperature of your life right now?

You can’t afford to raise your children in this world being cold. Being far from the presence of God. Being far from his word. There’s no fire burning deep down inside of you and you wonder why you can’t provide your kids with what they need.

Here’s the thing, I’m trying to give you a lot of handles, but at some point you just need Jesus. You know what I am saying?

Some of you have been there before.

You just need Jesus. You just need prayer. You just need fasting. You just need anointing!

And I want you so full of the power and the presence of God that on a day like that you can lay hands on your son and break the chains of the enemy. I want you to be able to break the strongholds of the enemy by engaging in spiritual warfare.

So Mom and Dad they need your encouragement, but they need for YOU TO BE ENCOURAGED so that you have something to give them.

1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV 1900)

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

Hear me church… this series is not just about giving you truth, but also to remind you of the need for His Spirit.