Marriage - Home Life

Review : 18-21 - choosing the Spirit over the world, how to address others, giving thanks and submitting to others

TODAY: our message today is a straight up challenge to our ongoing discussion about following Christ or following the world — Being IN CHRIST

I want to show you today that our verses about marriage are about our relationship with Christ and the union of this two concepts will give us insight and knowledge.

a guy walks into an ICE CREAM bar

He is feeling lonely and empty

he looks up and see a beautiful young lady

he thinks she looks back at him and he gets up the nerve to go over to say hello

he eventually asks her out and they start a dating process that leads to commitment in marriage

They start their marriage as normal.

There is a struggle with authority in the home, both battling their selfishness, and the “I wants”

They join a great church and find a marriage small group --- they start to turn that initial attraction into a marriage that will cleave together.

They start to operate as ONE body - the man starts to lead with love, gentleness and kindness

He loves her as Christ loves the church and because of that love she learns to have an undying respect for him

That is a silly condensed story of

attraction,

growing in love,

making a commitment,

then investing the time to mature their relationship.

the result is a lifetime of love and respect with God blessed order in the home

Our lesson today is going to make a comparison between earthly marriage and our divine, eternal relationship with our Lord.

Marriage in Ancient Times

Marriage at the time of Paul’s writing was not exactly like that.....

Old Testament and Early Church Marriage

No marriage manual in Israel

God called the creation of man and woman VERY GOOD

Gen 2:24

Yet there is nothing in the Bible record that actually displays a man leaving his home, uniting with his wife and becoming one.

Most marriages were arranged. They did not go to the local church potluck and fall in love with a nice pretty gal

But Marriage is discussed throughout the Bible, and used in many of Bible stories, truths and references

Marriages were for power, alliances and territory to the kings of the Ancient Near East

Marriages in the Ancient World also provided safety for the woman and of course the increase in the family for size and Legacy.

Prov 19:14 a good wife is from the Lord

It is likely safe to say that marriage were started out of need and that love

Marriage in Context of Ephesians

Often chosen by parents Gen 21:21

Suitable mates sought by parents Ruth 3:1-4

Betrothal prior to marriage Dt 20:7

A dowry was paid - Price Paid

Fiancee - treated as serious as marriage without the sexual union

Fiance is the promised one - we are the finance of Christ - the full binding will occur after the bema and I believe in the new heaven and new earth, where we will be joined eternally.

Church is the bride of Christ

adorned with gifts

promised with a ring - Holy Spirit seal

we are the object of Christ’s love and affection

Price was paid

we are to stay pure

Bridal ceremony on the new earth

God’s covenant with HIs People

God speaks in the OT in Isaiah of being the husband of Israel, the adultery of Israel in the covenant relationship with God, and the commitment of God to return to His bride Isaiah 54-62

it is a good model to view our subject that earthly marriage is to model our Marriage to the Lamb of God.

God is in control of all things and the time and place of our coming to Him

our Love and commitment to Him is to grow intensely

we are committed to him, serving Him and submitting to Him

Order and Submission

Bill Engval --- 30 years of marriage NO fighting — secret --- Major and minor decisions story

I want to address the connection of these verses with verse 21.

also take some time this week and read Proverbs 31. a wife is NOT to be barefoot, isolated and pregnant. a woman is to be strong in the Lord, running and in charge of keeping the home together with her husband --- Equal to Husband, order in place and both submitting to each other MODELING CHRIST.

If you like to draw in your Bible then make an arrow in the margin from verses 22-24 to verse 21.

this is a KEY teaching movement when you are ask to advise a couple planning on marriage or struggling in a marriage

THE main issue in marriage harmony is the presence of selfishness

we all want our way and we believe that compromise is meeting in the middle, both giving up something to find a temporary peace.

We struggle with that view of compromise giving something up

BUT let me give you some deeper TRUTH

in marriage in that ultimate relationship - 2nd only to ours in Christ

the TRUTH is sometimes are compromise must be 100%.

Sometimes we will simply have to INITIATE our Saviour and give up ALL for the sake of all that we love

That is tough

_________________________

God is the God of Order --- God is in CONTROL, not a creator of CHAOS

God - Husband - Wife - Children - others

God must be first and that is the key to understanding

we never overrule - we love

it is not a matter of authority, but of leadership

Illustration of woman rejecting verse until reading of Gal 5:22-23 and 1 Cor 13

tough lady

prison guard, police officer, served in marines

Many years ago i married a couple and we went through Pre Marital.

when i came to verse 22 in our conversation the bride to be was intense. She was a tough lady, a prison guard, a police officer and a strong woman

I ask her this --- if your husband models Gal 5:22-23 what would you relationship be like.

She answered i would do anything for a man like that.

I smiled and said -- then we have discovered our mission in marriage.--- HELP him to be that man

God created man and woman to be a full bonded team to bring eachs strengthens together to make a stronger WHOLE

this exactly what i have been teaching on the church body. bonded, servicing, using each’s sets of gifts to GLORIFY GOD and to grow others

Ephesians 5:24 “24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

so we have another instruction and a comparison

but notice it starts with the comparison --- as the church submits to Christ

This is the key!

Yet people let us not forget that this relationship is a command from God as a result of the curse

Gen 3:16 “16 ... Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.””

we have discussed this the last few weeks

we are to be united in Him, walk with Him, and enjoy relationship with him

spending time — less than 28 mins a week

Habit --- 5 min rule — spouse first

weekly date

monthly walk and talk

sharing life — discussing - -independence is minimalized

Washed in the Word

Ephesians 5:28 “28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

i ask a question in pre-marital

how much would you take right now for your right arm?

a million, a billion,

Crazy right --- you would not want to walk through life with out an arm. money is not going to solve that issue

Yet if we agree with that then you can understand your goal of your relationship with your God, your Christ, Your walk and your spouse.

TWO ARE JOINED AS ONE, what God has joined together, let no man separate.

Paul is saying in the verses prior to 28, that there needs to be order in a marriage, not earthly ruling, but heavenly love

that submission should model the love that Christ has for the church

the fact that He loved the Church so much that He gave up His life for her

THERE IS A Connection between the OLD and the NEW in our spiritual walk and the DO NOT walk as the Gentiles, and to be IMITATORS of CHRIST and these commands today.

We are to love our wife as Christ loved the Church ---

giving up self - that is submission to each other

sanctifying - to help in the work of the Lord to grow closer to Christ

to Cleanse - Friends — vs. 25-27

to wash in the word

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians & Colossians (E. The Role of Husbands (vv. 25–32))

They understand the water to be a figure of speech, referring to the cleansing that the Holy Spirit brings to the soul through repentance, after hearing the Word of God. It is as Jesus said in John 15:3, “You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.”

SO THAT he might present the church to Himself in Splendor

Crisp and Clean - Holy without Spot or Blemish

Christ loves us where we are at..... and we should love others —Especially our spouse the same way — love them where they are at, not where you want them to be.

Love and Respect

and now we get the command HOW TO

Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians & Colossians (E. The Role of Husbands (vv. 25–32))

Be imitators of God, and walk in love.

Be filled with the Holy Spirit,

and let him determine the quality of husband-wife relationships.

Love is defined in ch 13 of 1 Cor but respect is a tougher to understand concept

Respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

What are examples of respect?

Respect is defined as to feel or show esteem or honor for someone or something. An example of respect is being quiet in a cathedral. An example of respect is truly listening to someone speak. An example of respect is walking around, rather than through, protected wilderness.

Respect can vary in culture --- friend told me a story about trip to Europe --- culturally acceptable to walk through someones yard -- different attitude, not as possessive, or protective -- very few fences -- IT WORKS because of culturally produced respect

So how does this relate to to our text and our life?

interesting to me that the verses are calling for love and respect

we are all commanded to Love God and Love our neighbor

our marriage union is two becoming one, therefore this is your closest neighbor

love you spouse as second only to God

Maybe there is a deeper understanding of that PIE -- God in the Center but thinking of spouse prior to execution in any of the other slices?

I think love is the ingredient to respect

so the man is to love his wife with all the fruit of the Spirit,

and the wife is to do the same with honor and deference to first her God,

and then her spouse

respect is formed by love? and then acted out

I understand that culturally today this is being challenged, but i would offer that is always challenged as TRUTH in Conflict with the World will cause friction, it is the handling of that friction that produces our Christian Character --- is that not James 1 is it not the lessons from the prior weeks. to imitate God, to not walk as a gentile!!

Christ and the Church

Do you see the model?

verse 32 -- the commands or teaching of marriage is the model of Christ to the Church -- not just marriage of a man and a woman.

in verse 33 we can now see that the church is to respect Christ, and He is love to the Church

a young man walks into an ICE CREAM bar

He is feeling lonely and empty

he looks up and see a man from church

he looks back at him and he gets up the nerve to go over to say hello

he is asked to sit down, and after a few pleasantries the man shares the Gospel ( the WORD) the Gospel washes over the young man

The man proclaims with his mouth that Jesus is Lord, and his heart declares with his heart that Jesus is raised from the dead (Romans 10:9)

There is a struggle with with the Old self and the NEW creation

The young man joins a great church and finds a small group and starts to attend classes

---He starts to turn that initial attraction of SOMETHING BETTER and starts to cleave together with Christ --- in fact he starts to submit to Christ as Christ submitted for HIM

They start to operate as ONE body - the man starts model his life with love, gentleness and kindness - The Fruits of the Spirits are seen in his NEW Character

He loves others as Christ loves the church and because of that love he learns to have an undying respect for HIM — the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

The model of Christ and the Church is our model for marriage of a man and a women today

Lets Pray