The Bait Of Satan (Works Of The Flesh lession )
Envy
Envy. A bad feeling stirred up because of the presence of something good in another person but lacking in oneself. This emotion has received considerable attention from the authors of Scripture, theologians, and psychologists. A surprising degree of unanimity characterizes both the secular and sacred views of envy; namely, envy is universal in its occurrence, is destructive in its impact on the human personality, and can become a dominant, invasive emotion if left unchecked. While not a part of the well-known pantheon of vices such as greed, wrath, or jealousy, envy is a powerful emotion that deserves more attention than it usually receives.
Envy has several components
First, at least two persons are involved: the envier and the person being envied. The presence of envy can be completely unknown by those around the envier, since no verbal communication regarding the envy must occur in order for it to be present
Second, the envier must be aware of some feature or facet of another’s life that he or she regards as good and that the envier feels is missing in his or her own life. Envy can occur only when a person perceives himself or herself in a position inferior to another. Hence the issue of self-esteem is related to the problem of envy.
Third, the envier experiences a sadness that the missing feature is not present in his or her own life. When envy is a major feature of one’s own personality, life becomes a constant, dreary calculation of how others are better, and the self is saddened because of it.
Emulation is the positive counterpart of envy (Davidson, 1908). Emulation similarly involves at least two people and a sense of inferiority or lack on the part of one of the two. But the component of sadness is replaced by a desire to obtain the missing feature of life by achievement or growth. Emulation sees the other person as a friend; envy sees the other as a rival. Envy is selfish; emulation is constructive and geared toward change. Envy often wishes harm to the other or rejoices if bad fortune befalls the envied person; emulation has a positive force.
Authors disagree on the precise difference between envy and jealousy. Although they are related emotions, jealousy often involves three persons, is based in fear, and includes the strong desire to possess exclusively the item or person of desire. Jealousy is wanting to hold on to what one already has, and envy is a sadness regarding what one does not have
In the Old Testament envy is described as a powerful enemy
The insidious emotion of envy was powerful in the life of Saul
(Many versions substitute “jealousy” for “envy” in these passages.) In the New Testament the verb form for envy occurs one time, in Galatians 5:26, where the exhortation to avoid envy is strongly given. Envy appears in lists of the acts of a sinful nature
Causes of Envy and Jealousy
Dissatisfaction with God’s Provision: The person may see only what God hasn’t provided rather than what God has provided.
Comparison with Others: From early on, many have been conditioned to see themselves only in comparison to others—being smarter than, not as attractive as, more popular than, and so on.
Pride: Envy is driven by the false notion that a person “deserves” to have a life focused on his or her own personal gain and satisfaction.
Low Self-Esteem or Seeking Significance: When people don’t feel good about themselves, they will constantly seek to soothe their pain by seeking significance in their circumstances rather than finding their deepest needs met by Jesus Christ.
Value of Worldly Gain: People may seek money, status, appearance, talents, or achievements as evidence of their value and “place” in the world.
Expressions of Envy and Jealousy
Envy can be disguised in a multitude of ways. Here are the most common manifestations:
Resentment toward Others: The person may be highly critical and judgmental of another person or persons.
Competition in Relationships: The desire to be the “top dog” in relationships may be indicative of a struggle with envy. The person may exhibit a drive toward overachievement and exhibit a superior attitude toward others.
Depression: The person may become highly self-critical because he or she has not achieved what is desired and what the other person has.
Lack of Contentment: We live in a culture in which the media bombards us with the false notion that achieving more material gain will lead to greater happiness. A person struggling with envy is rarely content with what God has provided.
Gossip about Others: Envious people constantly criticize the object of their envy.
Idolizing or Putting Others on a Pedestal.
Dissatisfaction with Life: People who are jealous often have thoughts of If only …
Charity rejoices in our neighbor’s good, while envy grieves over it.
Stages of Envy and Jealousy
Initial Stage: The first stage of envy is desiring what someone else is or has.
Scorn or Disdain: When a person does not face his or her own envy, it can lead to scorn or disdain for another person, simply because this person is a reminder of what is lacking. This is expressed in contempt.
Malice: Envy can also develop into malice. People desire to destroy the good they see in another’s life, believing that if they cannot have what another person has, they will destroy any pleasure the other person has from it.
Domination of Relationships: Jealousy, when carried to extremes, can dominate a relationship. Some spouses, having faced abuse or abandonment in their childhood, bring this pathology into a marriage. Unresolved issues from one’s past can be the impetus for developing a vicious cycle of dysfunctional jealousy.
A Consuming Cycle: A chronically jealous partner will use self-pity, lies, threats, and other manipulations to control a relationship. When the other resists, the jealous person reacts by becoming more controlling. As time goes by, this cycle gains speed and heads toward disaster.
5 ACTION STEPS
1. Be Honest
Envy is counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.
Harold Coffin
• We all deceive ourselves in a multitude of ways. While we may not feel we are experiencing envy or jealousy, these feelings may be disguised in many different forms, such as criticism, contempt, gossip, self-pity, and manipulation.
• Ask God to reveal your motivations and feelings. Write down in a journal or private notebook what God has shown you in your heart.
• Confess your heart attitudes to Christ.
2. Focus on Jesus Christ
• God sees you as His own beloved child.
• Commit yourself and the day to God, asking for His guidance and presence throughout the day.
3. Develop a Lifestyle of Gratitude and Worship
• Count your blessings.
• Read the Psalms as personal prayers, praising God for all He is and what He has done.
• At the end of each day, reflect on the unexpected blessings you received throughout the day. Thank God for His constant love and care.
4. Avoid Activities That Encourage Comparison
• Spend time in malls only when there is a specific item you need to purchase.
• Read books that encourage reflection on the beauty of life and external blessings we have as believers (for example, The Best Is Yet to Come by Greg Laurie, Future Grace by John Piper, and Envy by Bob Sorge).
• Minimize exposure to magazines, TV, and other media that focus on material gain.
5. Interrupt Feelings of Envy
• Pray for God’s blessing to be poured out on the person whom you envy and give thanks for God’s provision for that person.
• Remind yourself of Jesus’s counsel that “one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses” (Luke 12:15). Ultimately, “things” are shallow substitutes for the presence of God in your life.
• Remind yourself of who you are as one of God’s chosen children. “From the beginning [God] chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth” (2 Thess. 2:13).
• Ask yourself what it is about the person that causes you to envy him or her. Does this person have strong social skills? Is he or she deeply compassionate? Thank God for the redeeming qualities you see in this person and ask God to form those qualities in your own heart. Then you will move from envy to admiration. Affirm and give thanks for the qualities that God has established in your own heart.
6. Interrupt Feelings of Jealousy
A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones.
Proverbs 14:30
• Be honest with yourself—back off from controlling or manipulative statements.
• Spend time with God. Immerse yourself in prayer and God’s Word. Ask Him to transform your need for security into dependence on and confidence in Him.
• Transform your mind. Instead of allowing your anxious thoughts to lead to dark suspicions, ask God to cleanse your heart and mind. Ask Him to help you truly love—“love does not envy … thinks no evil” (1 Cor. 13:4–5). Remember all the positives in your relationship with the person of whom you are jealous. Do something—right then—to show your love. Make a call; send an email.
7. Grow
• Create a plan to develop the gifts and abilities God has uniquely given you.
• Evaluate your spiritual gifts and talents.
• Practice spiritual disciplines. Examples are: prayer, fasting, solitude, study, sacrifices, worship, fellowship, meditations, and memorization.
• Spend time memorizing Scripture; make a commitment to fast and pray for a particular situation in your life.
• Ask God to bring believers into your life who can encourage you in your relationship with Christ.
8. Consider Follow-Up
• For some people, a chronic struggle with envy may be indicative of deeper unresolved pain from their past in which working with a professional therapist might be the best course of action.