The Fight To Forgive What You Can't Forget
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Have you ever dealt with bitterness before? Perhaps you’ve been bitter towards a friend for betraying you, a family member for hurting your feelings, or even a teacher for flunking you? Maybe it was more severe and you or a loved one were assaulted in some manner. Whatever it was, have you ever dealth with bitterness?
And if so, what did it feel like to hold on to that?
Now, I want you to think about the worst thing someone’s ever done to you. And with that in your mind, I want you to ask yourself if you’re still harboring bitterness over that. And if you are, I want you to mark that and bring it to the surface for today’s lesson.
When I was your age, or perhaps a little younger, there was a man in my family that took advantage of my grandparents. He would take money from them, live off of them rent free and would even go so far as to even assault my grandfather on one instance. One day I saw this man and he screamed out of his car that he would kill me and after that I learned that he had kicked in the door to my parents home and pushed my mother down while my Dad was out of town for business and time after time we would inform the police and they would let him off of the hook. Now, after all of this, I made the decision in my mind that if I caught him hurting anyone in my family again that I would ensure that he would never be able to do that again. When I thought of him, my blood would turn cold and I would clinch my teeth so tightly that my jaw would hurt. The amount of bitterness I had toward him for all of the pain he inflicted ate me alive. Now, a little while passed and the next time I saw him, the drugs that he had gotten hooked on had caused him to lose tons of weight, his girlfriend left him, and he had apparently been beaten up severely and lost most of his teeth. And instead of being happy about that, it broke my heart. I didn’t want to get even, I wanted him to get help. Much like the apostle Paul in Romans 10:1 where he is talking about the same Jews who are beating him and throwing him into prison he says,
1 Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they may be saved.
And when I saw this man, my heart melted and similarly felt the same way.
Today were going to be addressing the topic of bitterness. And with that said, I want you to hang on to this sentence.
“When struggling to forgive what I can’t forget, I should rest in the promises of God.”
And with that in mind, I want us to look at two main points today.
Bitterness Is A Cancer
Bitterness Is A Cancer
14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;
Here in Hebrews 12:15, we see mention of the “root of bitterness.” Now, the application the writer is making here is that bitterness causes trouble in our lives. Just as a root affects the quality of fruit, so does bitterness affect our lives. The writer of Hebrews is making the connection between bitterness and defilement and with that being the case he is stating that bitterness will always corrupt you.
Bitterness is the poison we drink, hoping it will kill someone else while it eats us alive.
And this root of bitterness will corrupt the Christian witness in our lives as it looks nothing like the Lord does. Listen to Peter in 1 Peter 2:21-23
21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 “Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
But the good news is that bitterness can be combated. This feeling of bitterness towards those who have done you wrong is not an incurable diagnosis. Fortunately, the word of God provides wisdom for all areas of life. And with that said we move on to see that...
Bitterness Can Be Combated
Bitterness Can Be Combated
Bitterness can be combated. And we think to ourselves, “But how?” How can we possibly forgive that person that took advantage of me? How can I forgive that friend who betrayed me? How can I forgive that parent that disappointed me?
When you go to war with the issue of bitterness, arm yourself with the promises of God.
Now, you’ve been hurt. And I know that if you’ve been seriously hurt then you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s it? That’s all you have for me?” And my response is, “Absolutely!” When you are struggling with bitterness, you need to know that this is sin that is rooted in unbelief, as John Piper puts it.
Bitterness is a sin rooted in unbelief
Bitterness is a sin rooted in unbelief
And you may be wondering, how is it rooted in unbelief? Let me show you three ways
It’s Rooted In The Unbelief Of The Magnitude Of Our Forgiveness
It’s Rooted In The Unbelief Of The Magnitude Of Our Forgiveness
31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
The motivation for our forgiveness of others in this passage isn’t that this is one of the tens steps to happiness, but rather, our motivation here is that God has forgiven us!
When we refuse to forgive others while simultaneously expecting God to forgive us, we are essentially saying that the sins of others against me are more atrocious than my own sin that crucified God’s Son to a tree.
So when we refuse to forgive others, we must remind ourselves of God’s graciousness towards us. And hey! If you’re trying to do that but it still just won’t let go, take it to God and say, “I’m struggling so deeply with this, Lord. Please help me.”
It’s Rooted In The Unbelief Of The Plan of God
It’s Rooted In The Unbelief Of The Plan of God
17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
Do you see what’s going on here? This pain isn’t for nothing, it isn’t worthless. Yes, it hurts, yes it wasn’t right. But it’s not for nothing. God is using that for your good and for eternal glory.
It’s Rooted In The Unbelief Of The Righteousness of God
It’s Rooted In The Unbelief Of The Righteousness of God
6 since it is a righteous thing with God to repay with tribulation those who trouble you, 7 and to give you who are troubled rest with us when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with His mighty angels, 8 in flaming fire taking vengeance on those who do not know God, and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
Do you see what this is saying? God is aware of your issues, He is aware of your pain, and He will absolutely make all things right in due time.
John Piper said, “He will either carry it to the cross when that person repents and it is paid for [by the suffering of Christ], or He will cast them into Hell where they’ll be forever.”
Conclusion
Conclusion
So, when you begin to fight with the things you struggle to forget, arm yourselves with these promises of God. I’ll word them in a positive manner for us as we close out.
God Has Forgiven Me Of Far Worse
God Has Forgiven Me Of Far Worse
God Is Working This For My Good
God Is Working This For My Good
God Will Right All Wrongs
God Will Right All Wrongs
21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 22 “Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; 23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;