Sermon Tone Analysis

Introduction

General: I might be doing all the right things—building joy, hesed, and group identity with other believers, learning the values and truths of Scripture, and watching others live out those values as I update my mental library of Christ-like examples.

And yet, there are still times when my attitudes and actions do not match my new identity in Christ—when my heart is not aligned with my new values in Jesus.

What do we do then?

I need someone to give me correction.

Personal: Offering correction, sharing constructive criticism, giving a rebuke, or bringing a challenge to someone is a difficult thing to do.

Either we don’t offer correction at all… Or we offer correction in the wrong way.

Biblical: Proverbs 15:31 (NIV).

Notice the words “life-giving correction.”

Why is life-giving correction so important?

No correction, no growth.

Think of coaching… helping your kids study for a test… talking to a brother in Christ about his selfish attitude.

Unhealthy correction leads to a host of problems: toxic shame, rebellion, condemnation, despair, resentment, anger, bitterness, insecurity, rejection…

Life-giving correction can lead to conviction, repentance, spiritual growth, and character development.

Subject: What makes correction life-giving instead of life-taking?

What makes a rebuke healthy instead of demoralizing?

Body

Life-giving correction is offered with humility.

A healthy rebuke is shared with meekness.

Exposition (Prov 15:31-33)

Are these verses written to the person who is giving correction or receiving correction?

If you are going to give correction, you must be willing to receive correction.

If you’re not humble enough to be rebuked, you have no business rebuking anyone else.

Illustration: The Daily Audio Bible podcast, Prov 22:10 (ESV), What if I’m the scoffer?

We have to be willing to apply God’s Word to our lives before we apply it to someone else’s.

Application: Questions to Check Your Heart Before Offering Correction (from Dave Wilson)

Is this the right thing to say?

Is this the right time to say it?

Is this the right way to say it?

Am I the right person to say it?

Do I have the right reason for saying it?

Life-giving correction is offered with unconditional love.

A healthy rebuke is shared with love that has no contingencies.

Exposition

Our love for someone should never be contingent on them behaving the way we think they should.

If we withhold love until they act the right way, our correction will never be life-giving but only life-taking.

We need to build a loving relationship before bringing correction.

A huge source of conflict is when we try to speak into someone’s life when we haven’t earned the right to.

The most beautiful picture of unconditional love is the story of the Prodigal Son from Luke 15.

Illustration: When God Ran by Phillips, Craig & Dean

Almighty God, the great I Am,

Immovable Rock, omnipotent,

Powerful awesome Lord,

Victorious Warrior,

Commanding King of Kings, mighty Conqueror

And the only time,

The only time I ever saw Him run,

Was when He ran to me,

Took me in His arms,

Held my head to His chest,

And said, “My son’s come home again,”

Lifted my face,

Wiped the tears from my eyes,

With forgiveness in His voice,

He said, “Son, do you know I still love you?”

He caught me by surprise,

When God ran

After I left home I knew I'd broken His heart

I wondered then if things

Would ever be the same but one night

I remembered His love for me

And down that dusty road ahead I could see

It's the only time

The only time I ever saw Him run

Application: Without strong, healthy, relationships full of unconditional love, we can’t offer healthy, wholesome, life-giving correction.

Life-giving correction is offered without judgment.

A healthy rebuke is shared without judging the person’s heart.

Exposition (Jer 17:9-10): God is the judge, not me.

I cannot judge another person’s heart or motives.

I can only observe their actions.

I can judge another person’s actions, but I have no right to judge that person.

Illustration: “Christians can pronounce ‘that is good’ and ‘that is wrong’ but not ‘you are condemned by God.’ Jesus’s teaching shapes his people into a society for reconciliation instead of damnation.”

~ Scot McKnight

Application: The difference between a judgment and an observation…

Life-giving correction is offered without condemnation.

A healthy rebuke is shared without toxic shaming.

Exposition (Rom 8:1-2)

Application

Avoid condemning statements that demoralize.

“How could you do this?”

“I’m so disgusted with you.”

“I can’t believe you would be that stupid.”

“You embarrass me.”

Make life-giving statements that affirm the value of the person.

“Remember who you are.

You’re a child of God now.”

“That’s not who you are anymore.

Be who you are in Christ.”

“You don’t need to go back to that—you’re better than that.”

“I love you and so does God.

And he has something much better for you than this.”

Remind them of the correct attitude or action.

“We’re not the kind of people who demoralize others.

We’re a family that speaks the truth in love.”

“We’re not people who cover up our mistakes.

We’re people who are honest about our sin, and confess to one another.”

“We’re not selfish, self-centered people.

We’re a church that considers the needs of others as more important than our own.”

“We’re not the kind of people who complain and constantly criticize.

We’re a church family that is thankful, supportive, and encouraging to one another.”