A Better Kind of Grieving

Text: 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Topic: How to grieve God’s way.

Big Idea: Society’s approach to grieving brings despair. God’s approach brings peace and healing.

Introduction:

• Some losses are inevitable.
• There are two ways to grieve losses: society’s way, which lacks hope, and God’s way, which is hope-filled.

- 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Society’s approach to grieving leads to despair.

• Illustration:  In this detailed illustration the grieving process of a boy named Johnny as he loses his dog, a high school girlfriend and finally his grandfather. Johnny follows society’s grieving plan and ends up  distrustful  and vowing to distance himself from others.
• Step 1: We are to stop feeling badly and bury our feelings.
• Step 2: We are to replace our losses, and fix the pain quickly.
• Step 3: We are to grieve alone.
• Step 4: We are to give it time; time heals in and of itself.
• Step 5: If there’s unfinished business, we are to accept a life of regret; there’s nothing that can be done.
• Step 6: We are to wall up and never trust again.

- Illustration: In this brief illustration, Hybels compares two baseball stars’ approaches to their grief: Donny Moore lost a huge game and in his anguish, shot his wife and then himself.  By contrast, when Dave Dravecky lost his entire pitching arm and therefore his career, he decided to rebuild his life and keep a positive outlook.

God’s approach to grieving leads to healing.

• Step 1: Feel your feelings and express them.

- The words “Jesus wept” speak volumes about grief management.

• Step 2: Don’t just replace the loss, review the loss.

- To recover from pain, we have to face it.

• Step 3: God’s approach is to grieve in community.
• Step 4: Only the Holy Spirit, called the Comforter, will heal.
• Step 5: God’s approach says we can still express our regrets.

- Romans 12:18

- Illustration: In this illustration, Hybels tells the story of a friend whose father died in the midst of a long-lived conflict the two were having. He was distraught by his unfinished business with his father, and saw a counselor. The counselor encouraged Hybels’ friend to write a letter to his father, bringing closure.

• Step 6: Christians are capable of recovering from any loss that comes their way.

- If we make Christ our treasure and not something else, we will never have reason to fear, because he is invulnerable and will never leave us.

Conclusion:

• How will we choose to grieve?  Using society’s approach or God’s approach?

!