Patrick and Alyza Wedding

Introduction

Friends, family, dearly beloved!

We are gathered here today.

Ask anyone who has been planning a wedding in the middle of a global pandemic, and I’ll bet they’d tell us to make sure we don’t take those words for granted.

We are gathered here today.

In fact, indulge me for a second here you two:

Take a look around.

Look at all these folks that have traveled so far to be here and support you both today.

Drink it in for a second!

We are gathered here today.

We are gathered here today to celebrate!

We want to celebrate Patrick and Alyza, and the relationship that God has called them to.

We want to celebrate families coming together and being joined.

And we want to celebrate love.

What kind of love?

We can mean a lot by this little word “love.”

I can love my spouse, but I can also love coffee.

I can love my family, but I can also love hanging out in a yurt (I’m still not sure what that is…)

I can love my kids, but I can also love a really corny dad joke.

It turns out that the writers of the Bible had a more nuanced view of this idea of love.

They had four words for love in the Greek language, and they’re all present today!

Storge- Cute Things

Cast your mind back to the flower girl.

Anything that illicits an “awwwwww” reaction is storge.

Eros- Physical Attraction

This is the feeling that you each had when you saw each other at the isle just now, that moment that took your breath away.

Philio- Friendship/Brotherly Love

That’s why we have a party after this!

We want to spend time with our friends, family, neighbors, and loved ones that maybe we haven’t seen in a while.

And a good marriage has all of those kinds of love, but the passage you picked out for us today deals with a more specific kind of love that you two share:

Agape Love

This is a love that values the recipient above your own self-interest.

This is a love that is always asking the question “What does my spouse need right now” long before it gets around to asking the question “What do I need right now?”

This is a love that says I am will to sacrifice and to work hard just to make sure my spouse is taken care of.

And while the other three loves are easy to spot, Agape is a kind of love that we don’t often understand in our world.

But it is also a love that is very near and dear to God’s heart.

John tells us in this passage that God is Agape.

God values us even above what God wants for Godself.

God pours out on to us blessing after blessing after blessing.

Because God is Agape, anytime we express Agape love we are abiding with God himself.

That’s why pastor types are at the front of a wedding ceremony!

God is abiding with us here, and God has been abiding with you two for a very, very long time, hasn’t he?

In fact, John says, the only way we love, the only way we can stand up here today, the only way you two can gaze in to your other’s eyes like this, is because God loved us first.

We’ve been shown a perfect model of agape love in God, and so we share it with each other.

Agape love is also extremely powerful, in that it casts out fear.

I’ve learned a lot about you two these last few months together.

One thing has become very clear, at least when we’re talking about this wedding, you guys love a good plan, don’t you?

Get everything together, get your to-do lists checked off, make sure everyone is taken care of.

Plans are good!

But unfortunately, I can also tell you that plans will fall apart.

There will be moments in your marriage together that don’t go the way you wish, or the way you want.

There will be ideas and dreams that will fall apart.

There will be moments of chaos, and disappointment, and fear.

God says that perfect love, agape love, that you two are sharing together with God, that will cast out those fears.

No one in their right mind could stand up here and tell you everything will go smoothly.

But if you go together, and if God goes with you, then you will have nothing to fear.

Challenges

Make marriage your life together, not the things you do together.

You guys have a lot of adventures ahead of you!

Travel!

Food in a yurt!

New places to live and work.

It’s a whole lifetime of adventures ahead.

But know that marriage is more about having a life, not just the things you do in that life.

Sometimes, it’s ok to just spend a night at home doing absolutely nothing.

Sometimes, it’s ok to just work through the difficult things.

Sometimes, it’s ok to allow yourself to yield to the love of your spouse.

Build your marriage around the Agape love that you share with each other.

Agape love works because it is not selfish, but rather is two people holding each other up.

Agape love works because if you’re both looking out for the needs of each other, no one ever gets left behind.

Agape love works because God showed us the way. We love, because he first loved us.

There’s no room for fear in your marriage, because perfect love casts it out.

There’s no room for outside voices in your circle, because that’s holy ground for you and for God.

There’s no room for scorecards, or resentments, because we’re always focused on forgiveness and grace and mercy.

As long as your marriage is centered in Agape love, there’s no telling where the adventure will take you next.