Emotions

Intro

Today we continue in our series called My Worst Enemy, we started with this theme verse in

Romans 7:17-20

As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Romans 7:24-25

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I am my worst enemy.

I create so much of my own self destruction.

But the hope of this life and this series is that Jesus is our rescue, jesus is our savior, even from ourselves.

it’s never too late to become who called has called you to be.

Our whole series is based around a guy in the bible names Samson.

He’s found in the old testament in a time of Judges.

the nation of israel was in this cycle of trusting God, honoring him, then turning away from him, worshipping other gods,

other nations would come and conquer and oppress them, then they’d cry out to God to rescue them, God would raise up a judge to rescue the nation and then it would start all over.

Samson was one of these Judges. A man God had raised up to to rescue and deliver the nation of Israel.

But we summarized samson last week with this statement.

SAMSON WAS AN INCREDIBLY STRONG MAN WITH A DANGEROUSLY WEAK WILL.

Samson had taken a vow called a nazarite vow. It was a vow to be dedicated completely to God.

part of the vow was that he wouldn’t have any alcohol, wouldn’t touch anything unclean (dead animals, humans etc), and wouldn’t cut his hair.

This was to be a sign that he was set apart to God!

Through this vow, God made him supernaturally strong to be a deliverer and warrior to save his people from the oppression of the Philistines.

But unfortunately we see over an again Samson breaking his commitment to God and choosing his own way. .

We talked last week about the attitudes that Samson carried that we can to that leads to self destruction.

I want it, I deserve it, I can handle it....

Samson walked into the philistine country (who he was supposed to save the israelites from), sees a woman he demands to be his wife even though she was supposed to be off limits.

Today there is going to be a lot of different things to learn, were gonna call it, life hacks from Samson.

There will be something for everyone today as we step through this story.

Today we are going to pick up right where we left off last week in the story at Samsons wedding ceremony.

Let’s pick up right where we were.

Samson’s fathers was going to set the wedding ceremony up, and Samson has thrown a keg party.

Judges 14:10

Now his father went down to see the woman. And there Samson held a feast, as was customary for young men.

Life Hack #1

Just because it’s acceptable to others, doesn’t mean its right for you!

Samson threw this wild party, because its what everyone did.. it was customary to do it this way.

Too often, like Samson, we keep falling into the same temptation as the world and culture around us that we are actually called to change.

We are called to be a light to the world around us. But often the very things that we are called to be a light in, we fall to ourselves.

Everyone’s doing it is the worst reason to do something, but how often have I used that as an excuse...

What did momma say to you, if everyone else was jumping off a bridge...

But we see this even in the church. Churches and believers compromising the truth word and aligning to the world’s view of morality instead of being the moral compass for the world that we are called to be.

We will make excuses and try even try to twist scripture to make it work, but just because the world says it’s ok doesn't mean it is.

We have to make sure that our lives and values are based off of the unchanging truths of God’s word.

The people around us need us to!!

Just because everyone else is getting drunk… sleeping around.... is talking to old boy/girlfriends online...

Samson should have never been a part of this.

He compromised he was was and was meant to be all because it was customary.

Judges 14:11-13

When the people saw him, they chose thirty men to be his companions. “Let me tell you a riddle,” Samson said to them. “If you can give me the answer within the seven days of the feast, I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes. If you can’t tell me the answer, you must give me thirty linen garments and thirty sets of clothes.” “Tell us your riddle,” they said. “Let’s hear it.”

Like so many of us, he takes a normal moment and turns it into a competition.

Who are my competitive people here?!?

Gonna buy each other outfits....

Doesn’t seem manly, but different culture I guess.

Life Hack #2

Life isn’t always a competition.

Listen understand that I struggle here. I like some good competition.

But I don’t just like competition.... I like winning!

Competition and winning is why I exist. (i beat out a lot of other potential candidates…)

Have you ever done this, my and Christy have. If were both in town or somewhere each have our cars.

Both going home but have different way, that now becomes a competition. Who can get home first.

Who’s way is fastest and best.

I say no speeding but were gonna see who’s way is best.... but i speed every time. I want to win.

I am always in competition with the gps. I can beat the time it says.

Board games with me have no age limit.. I will not be nice at sorry because you are 4!

Have any of us ever ruined a great moment because of our competitive natures and bad attitudes… me with games nights.

Some things aren’t a competition and we need to learn when it just doesn’t matter where i feel i am in life compared to others.

I can be for your winning and you can be for mine.

I don’t have to live to lower others to lift me.

Sometimes this can enter into marriages and every place.

Judges 14:14-15

He replied, “Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet.”

For three days they could not give the answer.

On the fourth day, they said to Samson’s wife, “Coax your husband into explaining the riddle for us, or we will burn you and your father’s household to death.

Did you invite us here to steal our property?”

Life Hack #3

Don’t Overreact

Who has done this before, in normal moments and just overreact to the smallest things that you are later embarrassed about..

I create problems at home sometimes, simply because I overreact to things.

Last time I played gold, a few years ago… i played so bad that I actually went home and sold all of my clubs for the cost of the golf game.

So many people get into massive wrecks because they overcorrect. They get a little off the road, yank the wheel and make it so much worse.

I can do this with life.

We will wreck our lives over things that just don’t matter.

Are you destroying good things by not controlling your overreactions.

Count.. Breathe...

Judges 14:16

Then Samson’s wife threw herself on him, sobbing, “You hate me! You don’t really love me. You’ve given my people a riddle, but you haven’t told me the answer.”

Marriage Hack #1

Avoid Extremes

Samson didn’t tell her the answer to the riddle, so her conclusion was, YOU MUST HATE ME!

WE laugh, but how often do I immediately go to extremes.

The problems in many relationships and marriages, is that when we feel slighted or shut out, instead of an honest conversation expressing how we feel

We immediately go straight to the ALWAYS and NEVER.

You Always do this, You Never do that.

Extremes create walls because instead of a conversation its a confrontation, an attack.

Going to extremes kill any progress.

There is a way to talk that is productive, but so many of us accuse and go to extreme like Samsons wife.

You hate me, you can’t love me

Judges 14:16

“I haven’t even explained it to my father or mother,” he replied, “so why should I explain it to you?”

Marriage Hack #2

Leave and Cleave

Genesis 2:24 (KJV)

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Marriage is a miracle of oneness.

But that can’t takes place unless the previous step does.

Leaving mom and dad and clinging, cleaving to your spouse.

Listen, our parents are still here to give us incredible wisdom, advice and help, but we have to leave the next and put each other as the primary relationship in our lives.

Grandma, I know they maybe aren’t doing everything the way you think they should, but ya gotta let them fly a little!!.

One of my biggest marriages mistake early on.. My wife cooked a meal.

It was the same as my mom had made before. And i thought it was my job to describe, compare and contrast the meals...

some of you have too many outside influences speaking into your marriage while the one your marriage to doesn’t even get a real honest conversation.

You’re going to mom, best friend, hairdresser, and they are left in the dark.

Judges 14:17

She cried the whole seven days of the feast. So on the seventh day he finally told her, because she continued to press him. She in turn explained the riddle to her people.

Marriage Hack #3

Healthy marriages have healthy boundaries.

We talked about this a few weeks ago, but we have to remember that this marriage covenant is sacred.

And your marriage needs to be held in a higher regard than your friendships and other people around you.

There has to be a place in your marriage of trust and safety.

When your at your most vulnerable, they are your most trusted.

You can talk about your deepest fears, feelings and dreams with this person and it’s not blabbed about.

Marriages need boundaries that no one or nothing else can cross.

If your marriage has this, it’s a safe place, it’s leads to vulnerability, a deeper connection, and intimacy.

If you don’t have this, walls come up, communication breaks down and things begin to fall apart.

Instead of being honest and vulnerable with Samson on why she needed the info, she deceived him.

Open, honest, safe communication is the bedrock of a healthy marriage when we lose that it begins falling apart.

Judges 14:18

Before sunset on the seventh day the men of the town said to him, “What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”

Samson said to them, “If you had not plowed with my heifer, you would not have solved my riddle.”

The riddle was about the lion with the honey in it from earlier in the chapter, you can go back and watch last week if you want to get caught up on that.

MARRIAGE HACK #4

Never ever ever ever, call your wife “ your heifer”

Samson has been beaten, he’s upset, embarrassed.

But without the joking, we have to understand the significance of a principal.

It’s easy to get frustrated and upset and angry.

The bible teaches that life and death are in the power of the tongue.

We’ve been taught that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

But that is a lie!

Reality is, most of our deepest wounds are likely tied to words said to you or about you.

Especially in marriage when we know their deepest vulnerabilities, how dare we use our words to tear down and hit them the hardest.

James says you can light your life on fire with he words you speak.

We have to be careful and mindful of the words to speak to and over people, especially our spouse and kids.

We can damage their identity, confidence and calling all because of what we said when we were frustrated...

Take a walk, go outside, tell God but we have to stop speaking toxic words.

Stop using the excuse of, let me tell you what I really think.

There are too many things I wish I could go back and have said something differently.

Judges 14:19

Then the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him. He went down to Ashkelon, struck down thirty of their men, stripped them of everything and gave their clothes to those who had explained the riddle. Burning with anger, he returned to his father’s home.

started with a riddle, now 30 people are dead.

Samson is mad at the world.

But let’s rewind and see why.

He went into the enemy territory he shouldn’t have been in, Samson demanded to marry a woman God he shouldn’t have been with, Samson was the one who threw the big party, Samson was the one who set the riddle and the wager. Samson is the one who had the secret and samson is the one who told the secret.

Everything that Samson is made at the world about, is all from Samsons doing!!

How many of us if were honest are in a similar boat?

mad at the world for things that we refuse to take responsibility for.

Sometimes it’s painful when we see ourselves in other peoples stories like samson.

mad at our job, mad at the boss but I’m the one who hasn’t looked for a new job, that maybe isn’t doing my job well, or maybe the one who has settled here.

mad at our spouse because they aren’t meeting our needs but when have I have stepped out to meet theirs.

mad about our sea of debt but we’re the ones who keep charging, spending more than we make and not honoring God with our finances.

mad at everyone on the gold course but I just have to realize I’m the one who’s not good at golf!!

Sometimes we just need to own up to our own undoing so that we can actually give that to God.

Stop blaming others and everything else.

LIFE HACK #4

Control your emotions instead of letting your emotions control you.

Ephesians 4:26-27

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

There can be a righteous anger.

When we live with unchecked emotions, it gives the devil a foothold.

Greek word Topos - a place of influence or authority.

It give the devil authority in our lives.

Samson gets angry, he loses his wife,

He ties a bunch of foxes together set their tales on fire and sent them into the Philistines crops and burns all of them up.

He takes the jaw bone of a donkey and kills 1000 philistine soldiers, ONE BAD DUDE.

Judges 15:18-19

Because he was very thirsty, he cried out to the Lord, “You have given your servant this great victory. Must I now die of thirst and fall into the hands of the uncircumcised?” Then God opened up the hollow place in Lehi, and water came out of it. When Samson drank, his strength returned and he revived. So the spring was called En Hakkore, and it is still there in Lehi.

Samson was desperate and thirsty and finally come to a place where he cries out to God.

Reality is not matter the condition of your life, all of us are thirsty. maybe not for water.

but for affirmation, significance, safety, success,

We have needs just like Samson.

But that thirst, like Samson, can drive us to or from God.

into the philistine country.

To the world were actually called to change to fill our thirst, but when we do we are never satisfied.

But if we let that thirst and need in us drive us to God, he will open us rivers that will revive, satisfy and strengthen.

His living water, his spirit, his presence will come in and touch your soul.

Life advice #5

Know where your thirst is driving you

You have a need and a thirst in your life, and it is driving you somewhere.

Will you step toward God and into who he’s called you to be?

Or further away, looking to other things to try and fill?

Still wondering why you hurt with your words, overreact, are controlled by your emotions, and never feel good enough or complete.

PRAY.

WAYS TO G