Building A Fence
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Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
Few people have maintained the moral integrity necessary for a lasting and influential public ministry better than Billy Graham.
Without a doubt, he finished well.
For that, you can thank the Modesto Manifesto.
In November of 1948, as his public ministry began to take hold, Billy called his cohorts George Beverly Shea, Grady Wilson, and Cliff Barrows to his hotel room during an evangelistic campaign they were holding in Modesto, California.
“God has brought us to this point,” he said. “Maybe he is preparing us for something that we don’t know. Let’s try to recall all the things that have been a stumbling block and a hindrance to evangelists in years past, and let’s come back together in an hour and talk about it and pray about it and ask God to guard us from them.”
When they gathered back together in Billy’s room later that afternoon, they had all made essentially the same list.
From it they made pledges, which came to be known among them as the “Modesto Manifesto,” to guard themselves, among other things, against the two things most damaging to the cause: the inappropriate use and allure of money and, perhaps even more damaging than money entanglements, sexual immorality.
For the latter, the rules were simple: they avoided situations that would put them alone with a woman.
On the road, they roomed in close proximity to each other as an added margin of social control.
And always, they prayed for supernatural assistance in keeping themselves “clean.
Billy Graham built sexual fences around his life. And we need them every bit as much as, if not more than, Billy. Here are three such fences to consider
Thought Life
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
That’s where sexual sin begins.
Things like adultery, in all its forms, don’t just happen—they begin somewhere.
We’re in bed with someone mentally and emotionally long before we are in bed with them physically.
One of the most damaging fantasy worlds we can allow ourselves to enter doesn’t even involve someone we may work with or minister to.
It’s an image on a computer.
When it comes to pornography, the question facing many men is simple: Is it really wrong?
Is it really that big of a deal?
I mean, it’s just an image on a screen.
It’s not someone I know (so it’s not lust, right?) or someone I’m having an actual affair with, so I’m still faithful to my wife.
And isn’t sex a good thing—so what’s wrong with watching it happen? I’m just admiring beauty.
And besides, I’m single, so what do you expect me to do with all this pent-up sexual energy?
It seems like a safe release until I am married.
I’ve heard all of this and more.
So is it really that big of a deal?
Yes, and here’s why.
It is sexual sin
Jesus made it clear that when we give in to lust, it is equivalent to the act itself.
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
It makes no difference whether you know the person or not; lust is not tied to relationship.
It is addictive
The popular nature of porn is new to our culture and to human sexuality, but it is becoming increasingly clear that it is highly addictive in nature.
As a result, it not only can begin to dominate a life but also can demand ever-increasing levels of exposure and ever-increasing degrees of experience to continue to stimulate.
It is degrading to women
In pornography, women are treated as objects not a person.
They are not fulfilling God’s dream nor the will of God for their life as his precious daughter, nor are they fulfilling his design for sexual expression and fulfillment.
You are watching a woman who is being sinned against by being treated in a way that is shameful and unworthy to her heavenly Father.
Whether she sees it that way or not—and the fact that many may not, it only adds to the tragic nature of porn).
It desensitizes your soul
Let’s stay with this idea of novocaine.
Novocaine - causes loose of feelings.
Sin of any kind desensitizes your spiritual life.
Continued exposure to a sin such as pornography deadens you and grieves the Holy Spirit in your life, forcing him to withdraw his utmost filling in a way that diminishes his power and presence in your life.
Your body is a conduit of the Holy Spirit, which is why sexual sins matter so much—they can diminish the Holy Spirit’s filling of your life
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
Vulnerable Situations
A second fence to erect is to be sure to avoid vulnerable or compromising situations.
• Watch how and when you are alone with someone of the opposite sex.
• Watch how you touch people—be careful with your hugs and lingering touches.
• Watch how you interact with people—don’t visit someone of the opposite sex at home alone.
• Watch out for that long lunch alone together or staying late and working together on the project.
This is just common sense, isn’t it?
I think some people in ministry go further with this than may be necessary.
They won’t close doors in public office space; they won’t have lunch in public areas with someone; they won’t get in a car with someone of the opposite sex.
I’m not about to argue over how high the fence should be; the greater danger is not having any fences at all.
The point is being aware of situations that you know put you in a compromising position.
And let’s state the really obvious: erect particularly high fences when you know you are already attracted to someone, because the temptation will be to take the fence down.
If there is someone you think about a lot or someone you catch yourself comparing your spouse to in an uncomplimentary way, or if you are finding excuses to be with them (or be alone with them), or if you catch yourself having sexual fantasies about them, be extraordinarily careful.
Think Long Term
Finally, use your God-given brain to think long term, which is where we started this discussion.
Left to themselves, your sexual urges will press you to seek immediate gratification, as if there are no long-term repercussions.
If you don’t engage your brain, you will endanger your marriage, undermine your values, risk your health, and trade away long-term happiness for short-term satisfaction.
You will lose the life you now have.
Your family, your ministry, your reputation.
Everything.
That’s a sex drive without a driver.
Have you ever heard of the idea known as 10-10-10?
It’s not particularly original with anyone, though some have written formally about it.[19]
It stands for ten minutes, ten months, and ten years, and it speaks to using your brain to address your life in a simple but life-changing way:
What are the consequences of my decision in ten minutes, in ten months, and in ten years?
That kind of thinking is what your sexual impulses need.
Left to themselves, they will only engage the first ten minutes.
But it’s the ten months and the ten years that matter most.
It’ll Never Happen to Me
One of my favorite shows on ESPN is Mike and Mike in the Morning, featuring Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic. It’s a joint radio and television broadcast about sports. “Greenie,” as he is affectionately known, was formerly a sports reporter, and Golic played college football for Notre Dame and in the NFL for Detroit.
One morning, as they discussed one more celebrity athlete’s misconduct off the field—after a season of stories ranging from Michael Vick’s dogfighting to Tiger Woods’s infidelity—Greenie asked Golic what athletes say to each other in the locker room when such news breaks about a fellow player. Golic said, “They say the same thing every time. They say, ‘It’ll never happen to me.’”
But it can.
Including you.
Every person can be tempted.
Every person can succumb to that temptation.
It is in our character.
In fact, if you think you can’t be tempted in this area, you are the most vulnerable of all.
Why?
Because you are not humble enough to put up your guard.