Job #4 - not finished

Comforting the grieving

Sometimes people are presented in the Bible— often without editorial comment— simply to show us what not to do!

GROUP DISCUSSION .

Reflect on the friend who has been most encouraging in your spiritual journey. Use single words to characterize your relationship with that person.

PERSONAL REFLECTION .

Spend some time reviewing your faith journey from the beginning. As you do this note the influences— good and unhelpful— that friends and mentors have had on you.

Review Eliphaz’s attempt to comfort Job (4:1— 5:27).

What in these verses would have been unhelpful to Job?

Eliphaz counsels, “Should not your piety be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope?” (4:6). Is this sound advice helpful? Explain.

When, if ever, have you felt that “the arrows of the Almighty are in me” (6:4)?

What help would you have appreciated from others?

Is it right to maintain a friendship even if your friend “loses” faith or goes through a period of rebellion? Explain.

What reason does Job see underlying his friends’ failure to minister to him (6:21)?

What does Job need from his friends in this time of suffering? Why are his friends apparently unable to help him?

Later Job will comment, “Men at ease have contempt for misfortune” (12:5). What would enable you to be of help to others in the pit of despair even though you are doing fine yourself?

11. What have you learned about how not to be a friend? how to be a friend?

Ask God to show you how to be a friend, to express God’s heart, especially with those struggling with affliction. Pray for friends who especially need God’s strength.

Scripture gives us some illuminating examples of spiritual friendship, including Barnabas and Paul (Barnabas twice saved Paul for the work of ministry— Acts 9:27; 11:25-26). Explore a positive Old Testament example in Jonathan and David by reading 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 19:1-7; 20:1-42; 23:15-18 and 2 Samuel 1:17-27. Note especially that Jonathan helped David “find strength in God” (1 Samuel 23:16) rather than simply in their friendship.

C. S. Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed: “ Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand.” 1 What does this quote and these chapters from Job suggest to you about how to encourage someone who is grieving?