How We Greet Each Other

Big Idea

Tension: How does Paul greet Philemon?

Resolution: As one who has been, like him, been utterly transformed by the gospel of Christ.

Exegetical Idea: Paul greets Philemon as one who, like him, has been utterly transformed by the gospel of Christ.

Theological Idea: Christians greet one another as those who have been mutually changed and transformed by the gospel of the triune God.

Homiletical Idea: We who have been adopted through the gospel greet those who have been adopted through the gospel.

Outline

Introduction: Everything Sad Will Come Untrue… The idea of Tarof.

One of the most important things we do every day is greeting one another. And even though it happens dozens, or hundreds, or a thousand times a day, we don’t really think about it. Yet it is hugely important. Anyone who’s ever watched high schoolers, aka hormone possessed monsters, lock eyes for the first time, knows that in those first few moments that you meet someone, thought hte words might be few, there is a world of assumptions, presuppositions, insecurities, blindspots, and, most of all, worldviews. These things are not exempt from the Lordship of Christ. So what we see in the greetings of the Apostle Paul in particular is that how we greet one another reveals what we think of 1. God, 2. Each Other, 3. Ourselves. Let’s look at these in particular, and how they’re true of Philemon 1-3.

How we view God...

One God - I think we can all agree that Paul probably assumed the Shema from Deuteronomy 6:4-6. What we see in 1 Corinthians 8:4-6 is that the Shema was very important to the apostle Paul. And the New Testament Scholar Richard Bauckham, who is one of the most influential and widely read and researched and referenced authors in the field, makes the argument that when you see Paul use the words “God and Lord” in one same sentence, what he’s doing is using the language of the Shema. And you can see that very clearly here in 1 Cor. But what is significant that Bauckham argues, pretty convincingly in my opinion, is that Paul so believed in the Shema, he so treasured it, he so believed in it, that it just kind of flowed through the very language that he used. So when we see in Philemon, and, I believe every letter Paul ever sends out, that Paul is sending greetings from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, Paul is actually using the language of the Shema.

One Triune God - Now here is what is significant about this kind of language that Paul uses, which Bauckham also points out, is Paul includes the person of Christ within the Shema. Paul had been so radically changed and transformed on the road to Damascus, that he could not unsee Christ. He could never think of God again without thinking of Christ. Not only does Paul believe in One God, but he believes in the Trinitarian God. He believes that God is not only the Father, but that it is Father, Son, and, even though he doesn’t mention it, I think by implication, Spirit. This formula Paul uses when he says, “Jesus our Lord and God our Father,” he's making a Trinitarian statement. He not only believes in One God, he believes in One Triune God. And when you meet the Triune God, when you’ve been welcomed into the inner life of God, when you’ve been adopted by the Father, when you’ve been welcomed into Christ, when you’ve been sealed by the Spirit, you can never do anything else apart from the Trinity.

The God Triune who gives grace and peace - Now, I believe that there is something similar happening with these two words “grace and peace” here. You see, in the ancient Roman world, a common greeting was the word χαρειν, but Paul adapted this with the closely related to the word χαρις or “grace”. Now, Paul added to this word “grace” “peace.” Why is this? I believe this is a reference to the classic benediction from Num. 4:24-26, which says, “May the Lord bless you and keep you, may he make his face to shine upon you, may he be gracious to you and may he give you peace.” You can see the connection to these words in Philemon. So, in the Old Testament, when God showed his grace to somebody, when he showed his peace to somebody, the language of “face” is given. We don’t believe that grace is something God creates and dumps out on the world. When God gives “grace” to somebody, he is giving himself. If I could say it this way, biblically speaking, Grace always has a face. And what we see here, and in 2 Corinthians 3, is that the grace of God that has a face is Christ himself. If we could say this, when a Jew greets other Jews, the greatest thing he could say is, “May the Lord shine his face on you.” When Paul is greeting other Christians, he could wish nothing greater of the great Triune God than to say, “May the grace of God in the face of Christ” be with you. And Paul, who is wading into a tense situation, and speaking to a precarious relationship, and advocating for a prodigal, can start off his letter in no better way, than to say, May the grace of God in the face of Christ be with you.

The God who loves - Now, not only is this true, not only is this the one God, the one triune God, the one triune God who blesses, but this is the God who loves. Notice here how Paul calls Philemon, the “beloved” brother. And hopefully you remember this word, “beloved” last week, where Paul tells us that we should forgive who are holy, chosen, and beloved. It is no small thing here that Paul views this God as a God of love. You see, the triune God is a God who loves.

The God who binds us to himself - Not only this, but Paul calls himself a prisoner for Christ Jesus. This word for prisoner literally means someone who is bound. And what’s interesting is that Paul does not seem to think that he is a prisoner of Rome. No, he is a prisoner, one who is bound to Christ. What’s interesting is that the verbal form of this word is used in Acts 9 to describe Paul going to bring people “bound” to the Lord. But, of course, you know, Paul himself ended up seeing Christ. And, I think in one of the ironies of the letter to the epistle, Paul is called “the Prisoner” the bound one not only here, but 4 different times in Acts. What is interesting, is that Paul has a very definite sense that he is one who is bound, who is a prisoner, who has been captivated. But his captivity is not to man. He’s a prisoner of the Lord’s, and for hte Lord’s. The Lord is the one who has boudn him to himself. This is the triune God who loves, who binds us, who imprisons us. But he imprisons us to his grace, he makes us slaves to righteousness, he makes us prisoners of hope. His is a sweet binding, and one I hope I never stray from, it is one from which I have no desire to escape.

The God who adopts us - You also see here, that God is called “Father” and TImothy is “brother” and Apphia is “sister.” Paul is assuming here that Philemon knows, that those who are in Christ, those who have put their faith in Christ, those who have trusted in King Jesus, are those who are adopted by God the Father himself. They are those who are sealed by the Spirit, those who the Father has said, “this one, this one is mine. He’s my child. He’s my beloved.”

The God who gathers - And finally, we see that Paul writes the letter to the “church.” It is interesting here, but Paul is assuming that this is a church which gathers for the purpose of celebrating the gospel. Paul is assuming that this is a church which gathers for the purpose of God’s worship. Paul assumes that this work is not one who is here by mistake. Paul assumes that this is a church who are gathered by the good providence of God, a church that comes together under the cross, which is filled with the Spirit through singing and preaching and reading and praying. It is a church that has come together because God has gathered them and it is a church that Paul knows it is now his privilege to address. THey are those who by God’s good providence have been brought to each other, a church which God himself has gathered.

When we greet other Christians , we are assuming these things. We are assuming that we worship the one true God, the one triune God. That this is a God who loves us, a God who binds us to himself, a God who adopts us as his own, and a God who gathers us together. When Christians draw near to one another, it cannot be done apart from these magnificent truths. There is such a dear affection when we meet other Christians, because this God had drawn us together, this God has brought us to each other, you to me and I to you.

How we think of others - When we greet other Christians, we show what we think of others.

What the world thinks of us: Notice how Paul greets Philemon, Apphia, Arcchipus, and the church in her house. What do you think that the world would have thought of them? Philemon was probably a wealthy and influential man. It is strange that Paul addresses Apphia directly. This is the only time in all of Paul’s letters that he greets a woman at the beginning of the letter. And the only reason that I can think that he might have done this is that Apphia was probably someone who independently wealthy, who was well recognized in her own right, who had a large dowry. Which was not uncommon. They were probably a power couple. Probably Philemon and Apphia were an extremely wealthy couple, and potentially Onesimus had not only lost some of Philemon’s money, but also hers’. So, from a worldly perspective, these were people who were powerful, people, if not to be feared, to be handled. Someone that Paul would want to maybe impress. They were almost certainly used to others doing this.

But Paul doesn’t. Look at what Paul calls Philemon. The “beloved.” To Paul, the most important thing about Philemon is that God loves him. I wonder how it would change our relationships with other CHristians, with our spouses, with our flelow chruch members, with our family, if hte msot important thing about them to us was that God loves them. Now Paul is writing to Philemon, as we’ll see, because he wants Philemon to set Onesimus free. But for Paul, that desire doesn’t define who Philemon is. For Paul, Philemon is someone who is beloved of God. Paul greets Philemon with no guile, he greets him as someone who is the beloved of hte Lord. And, I do think that this mentality he directly expresses with Philemon probably determined how he thoguth of the otehrs here.

He is also a “coworker.” There is not a hint of powerplay, of manipulation, of insecurity. Paul looks at Philemon and he sees him as a “coworker.” Paul knows that he’s been called into the field, into the harvest. But he also knows that so have others. And Paul respects that and is grateful to have him.

To Paul, Apphia is not just a wealthy woman. She’s not just someone who he can get something from. Nor is Apphia a woman in his congregation and Paul’s a man, so Paul gets to ignore her. Paul is respectful, but tender. He calls her “the sister.” In the same way that Timothy is a brother to him, in the same way that Timothy’s been adopted, so has Apphia.

To Paul Archippus is a co-solder. Archippus is someone who is in the trenches. He’s someone who is fighting the good fight. Notice here how even int he way that Paul greets Archippus, he’s been incredibly generous and encouraging. We get the sense from Colossians that Archipus might have struggled with discouragement. ANd Paul, very sweetly, very kindly says, “my cosoldier.” Imagine how encouraging that would have been, to a brother, just to reind him, “Hey, I’m in the trenches with you.”

Notice here how Paul acknowledges the hospitality of Philemon and Apphia here as well. Hospitality is one of the most obvious markers that someone has been chagned by the gospel. Paul tells us in Romans 15:7 tells us to welcome one another in as God has welcomed us in. And Philemon and Apphia had, in a very tangible way, showed hospitality by allowing the church to meet in their own home. Paul draws attention to this obvious fruit. I point this out, because from our culture’s mindset, Philemon wouldn’t get the time of day. Because Philemon owned slaves, most people today wouldn’t even acknowledge anything positive in him. But Paul sees a man who God is working in, who is not perfect, but who God is using for great good.

You see, when Paul looks at other Christians, he sees those in whom God is working. He sees those whom God is using. But most importantly, he sees those whom God loves. They are the beloved of God. They are dignified. They are those whom God has claimed. And for Paul to talk to them in any other way is unthinkable. He greets them as those who are adopted, beloved, and who serve him.

But how we greet one another also reveals How we think of Ourselves

Notice here how Paul refers to himself. He calls himself a prisoner of Christ. We spent some time talking about this from God’s perspective above, but I want to think about it a bit from Paul’s point of view. In most of Paul’s letters, he opens up by calling himself an apostle. When he does that, he’s reminding his readers that he has authority. That he has a position of preeminence from Christ. He’s reminding them that he’s an important figure. When Paul doesn’t remind them of that, he writes them as a “servant of God.” And that itself is kind of a special title for God’s servant. And a couple times Paul just uses his name, as if to assume that’s sufficient enough. But the only time in the greeting of his letter he calls himself a “prisoner” is here. This is probably one of the most overt goals Paul ever has in a letter, to get Philemon to free Onesimus. His authority would have really come in handy. But instead of coming from a position of authority, which was his by right, he comes from a position of humility.

It’s funny, because, as we said above, Paul used to bind and imprison others. He used to drag them off. Before he became a Christian, he would find Christians and tie them up and drag them away. He used to take them to prison. But here, he is the one who is bound. Here he is the one who’s imprisoned. Here he is the one whom God has taken captive. Here he is one about whom God has said, “mine.”

I love what the Heidelberg catechism says, “What is thy only comfort in life and death? That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him.”

Paul speaks out of a profound humility, but not insecurity. Paul’s not insecure that PHilemon has money. He’s not afraid of Apphia’s influence. He’s not overwhelmed by Arcippus’ need. Paul doesn’t need to assert himself. Paul doesn’t need to come from a position of authoirty, even though he could. Paul has a humility that coems from someone who says, “I am not my own.” Because of the power of the gospel, Paul has the grace to say, “By the grace of God, I am who I am.” Because of the transforming power of the cross, Paul can wade into a difficult, complex, tense situation and greet others as those who have been transformed by the cross.

You see, we live in a world where there is so much pressure put on people to find themselves. TO define themselves. To dig down deep and be who they want to be. To decide masters of their own fate and captains of their own soul. But Christians are those who can say, “I do not belong to myself. I, with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ.” And Paul knows that if he belongs to Jesus, so do others.

Big Idea: If you belong to Jesus, you cannot help but greet other Christians as the beloved of God.

Application

If you are Christ’s, you are not your own. If you do not belong to Jesus, you are not his beloved.

If you do not belong to Jesus, you are missing out on this sweet fellowship.

If you don’t view God correctly, you will never have this sweet communion with others.

Don’t be insecure.

If you belong to Jesus, then the most important thing about other Christians is that they are God’s.

It is not a mistake that you see other Christians today. God put them around you so you might bless, encourage, lift them up.