Attitude Toward Others

Tonight we continue to talk about attitude… specifically our attitude toward others.

Last week, we talked about our attitude toward God. The week before, we talked about our attitude within. In BOTH studies, we have talked about how important having the right attitude is - Attitude is everything!

Ephesians 4:22-24 is our series Bible verse and it simply says this:

Ephesians 4:22–24 NIV

22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

As Christians, it is extremely important that we get rid of the attitude of this world, and take on the attitude of our Savior, Jesus.

The tern Christian means what? Christ like! We are to be like Jesus in ALL things… especially our attitude.

So this evening, we are going to start with a little attitude check. We are going to test and see where our attitude toward others is.

There are three options we will consider to statements I will read in a moment. There is no wrong answer here… this is a simple exercise to see what our attitudes toward others is like.

The options are:

I would get mad and say or do something.

I would get mad but not say or do something.

I would not get mad and I would not say or do something.

Here are the scenarios

Someone takes your favorite pen.

Someone cuts in front of you at the lunch line.

Your friends go to a gathering or party and don’t invite you.

Your parents won’t let you wear certain clothes.

Your parents won’t let you hang out with your friends.

Someone cheats and gets a better grade than you… and doesn’t get caught.

Someone pushes you in gym/sports causing you to lose the contest.

Your siblings do all that they can to annoy you.

Your teacher piles on the homework during a holiday weekend.

Your “friend” spreads or starts a rumor about you that is not true.

These are all very realistic possibilities. In fact, you may have experienced some of these things today!

And… in light of that possibility… when one or more situations like these happen in a row… what can happen to our attitudes?

The more stuff piles up, the more likely we are to reach our boiling point if we are not careful! So what can we do to change the situation?

Most of the situations I presented were circumstances beyond your control. You may not be able to stop the situations from happening… BUT… you can CHOOSE how you are going to respond when things like this rise up!

Sometimes it is easy to have a good attitude toward others… like when everything is going right. But how often does that happen in life?

Other times, when things aren’t going according to plan… it can be difficult to keep a good attitude.

Tonight we threw up a few hypothetical situations we might face on any given day… but we face REAL LIFE attitude checks every single day - and that test is going to come whether or not you are having a good day!

My point is this: We cannot control what we will face, but we CAN control how we choose to face it.

And… as believers, we can ask God to help us remain cool, calm, and collected when things are not going our way.

Our attitude toward other people, whether they are Christians or not, tells us A LOT about our relationship with Jesus.

Do you think Jesus cares about how we treat others? He absolutely does!

The greatest commandment.

Matthew 22:37–40 NIV

37 Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

The Golden Rule

Matthew 7:12 NIV

12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

How we will be identified

John 13:35 NIV

35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Jesus is the One who spoke all of this! So God cares a great deal about how we treat one another!!!

So, quick moment of transparency, how many would admit… or be real… and say that there are times… when your attitude toward others isn’t exactly what it needs to be?

So… how do we fix this? How do we move from having a bad or rough attitude to having a loving and caring attitude?

The key is not allowing the bad attitude to take a hold in the first place. The moment we begin to sense things are going downhill, it’s time to hit the brakes! And it is essential that we bring it to a stop, before we run through the red light.

What can happen if… when driving… a person runs a red light or a stop sign? Tragedy… car accident… someone gets hurt or even killed. That light or sign is there to tell us to stop… to warn us of possible danger.

When we begin to feel our attitude toward others going the wrong way… we need to see the warning light and hit the brakes.

Have you ever done something in the name of a bad attitude… that you later regretted? We all have. So instead of dealing with regret, God wants us to deal with our attitudes so we don’t have to face regret.

Point number One: SLOW DOWN.

Stopping becomes more and more difficult the faster we drive. The same goes for our attitude. If we desire to love and treat others as Christ treated them, then when need to start by not allowing things to ramp up so fast.

James 1:19–22 NIV

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

According to this verse, what should we be “quick” to do? LISTEN. But then it goes on to say that we should be SLOW to SPEAK and SLOW to become angry.

Oh boy… NONE of us have ever gotten ourselves into any kind of trouble by running our mouths. I know that I am looking at a room of saints who have ALWAYS known when to button it up and not say the wrong words at the wrong time! No one in here has EVER let their mouth just fly right?

When our attitudes start going south, often times people like to talk… A LOT. And in that talking what are we doing? Justifying our anger, trying to get people on our side, tearing down another person while trying to build ourselves up.

All that talk will ever do is make the situation worse. Talking bad toward others or about others will only push the situation further from being resolved. Talking only builds more anger.

So the Bible says… in my own words, to shut your trap and to cool your jets. SLOW DOWN. The ONLY thing it says to be fast in is LISTENING!!!

And… instead of allowing anger to take over, accept the Word that has been given to you - the Word that can SAVE YOU.

Not only does the Word of God save or keep you from sinning… it also keeps you from what Randy called out this last weekend as “the spirit of dumb dumb.”

When we choose to listen to the Word of God instead of the word on the street, it helps us not to fall into the trap of a bad attitude. God’s Word will keep you from doing things or saying things… you might later regret.

So before you lose it… before you cross the line… before you run the light and cause a wreck… SLOW DOWN. Hit the brakes. LISTEN. Apply the Word of God and shut down the attitude BEFORE it becomes a problem.

Now… you might be thinking, “So if someone does wrong to me, am I supposed to simply pretend like it didn’t happen?”

Absolutely not. In fact, Jesus gives us a “formula” for how to deal with such things and the key in His formula is something that might surprise you - FORGIVENESS.

Point number Two: Learn to Forgive.

Our culture toady has almost completely forgotten what this word means. What does it mean to forgive?

To forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

The thing I want you to understand about forgiveness is this: YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF THIS CHOICE. Even if the person doesn’t ask for it… AND… even if the person does not deserve it, you can choose to forgive.

The choice to not forgive means you allow the offense to continue to control you. But… the moment you choose to forgive is the moment you break free from the offense and choose not to be controlled by it any longer.

Forgiving others… is not always easy - but it is always necessary.

Once again I want us to consider Jesus’ words regarding forgiveness. Matthew 18:21-22

Matthew 18:21–22 NIV

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Our messed up culture doesn’t encourage forgiveness… it instead encourages cancellation. If someone offends you, cut them off. If someone upsets you, pretend like they don’t exist.

But students, that is NOT the way of the cross. Jesus did NOT do that to us, nor does He desire for us to do that to others.

Jesus gives us a method of how to deal with a person who has hurt you or sinned against you.

Matthew 18:15–17 NIV

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Jesus gives us three steps:

First, have a one on one conversation with them. Not on Facebook, not through snap chat or text message… but face to face. Don’t point fingers, (cat meme) yell, call names, etc… simply talk about what happened and why it hurt you.

Step two is bring a witness… someone who is aware of the situation not by rumor but by being there and try again.

Step three is to involve a higher authority - a teacher, a parent, etc.

If all this fails, sever the relationship BUT continue to love that person.

There was NEVER a pagan or tax collector that Jesus did not love.

What Jesus is encouraging you to look for in this instruction is RESOLVE. Try to get this things worked out. Don’t allow drama to rule the day… but seek resolve. And if resolve cannot be found, forgive and love that person… but don’t position yourself to be hurt by that person anymore.

You may never be able to change that person’s mind regarding how they feel about you… but you can control how you feel about that person. Forgiveness and love moves us to be like Jesus… it moves us to being in control… instead of being controlled.

Attitude Adjustment

So tonight, it’s time to get real. It’s time to consider our attitude toward others.

First off, I want you to understand that Jesus is NOT asking you to do something that He was unwilling to do.

Jesus wants us to forgive… because that is what He did for us. Remember the words that he spoke while dying on the cross:

Luke 23:34 NIV

34 Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

Jesus was ALL ABOUT forgiveness. And He desires for His followers to to do the same.

So let’s bring it in.

Who here tonight would admit that your attitude toward others… maybe someone specific… hasn’t been what it should be?

Maybe that person or group has wronged you, hurt you, etc. I AM NOT TRYING TO DISMISS THEIR BAD BEHAVIOR. But paying them back with bad isn’t doing you any favors either. In fact, it is hurting you more than helping you.

I want you to find freedom tonight… through forgiveness.

And you might have to forgive again, and again, and 700 more times again! But seek forgiveness… see the warning light, SLOW DOWN… and allow the Word to work within you.

Prayer

Ask for God’s help in forgiving that person. Ask for God’s help in finding resolve.... not revenge. Ask for God to help you to listen, to be slow to speak and slow to become angry. Ask for God to help you to be like Jesus… in your attitude toward others.