Watch Your Words

Welcome back to Rad, where we're flashing back to the 90s — an era when everything was pretty "rad." In the last two weeks, we've talked about 90s fashion trends, slang, music, and more. Now let's see if you can identify some 90s key words.

INSTRUCTIONS: Before your program, create a 90s-themed word search using a word search generator and then duplicate it using several pieces of poster board and jumbo permanent markers. Tape it securely to a wall. To play, bring two teams of students to the front and have them stand as far away from the puzzle as you'd like. Give both teams a supply of highlighters or crayons in a color unique to their team. Start a countdown of five minutes and challenge each team to circle as many 90s-themed words as possible during that time. But here's the catch — each team can only have one player circling words at a time. All other team members must stand on the sidelines and shout instructions. If you'd like, create a word bank and display it on screen. Here are some words you may want to include . . .

NSYNC DESTINYSCHILD NICKELODEON FURBY POKEMON SPICEGIRLS BOYZIIMEN JELLYSHOES NIRVANA POGS SEGA NAPSTER LLCOOLJ TITANIC SISTERSISTER RUGRATS JAYZ SPACEJAM JURASSICPARK HANSON FULLHOUSE FAMILYMATTERS URKEL

VIDEO | Family Matters, "Did I Do That?" Compilation

There are a lot of words that scream "90s" to me, but especially these next four.

INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, play a 30-second clip from a video like this or this where Steve Urkel repeatedly says "Did I do that?" For more information on how to legally use copyrighted material for educational purposes, read this! If you're not familiar with Family Matters, let me fill you in. This 90s sit-com was all about the Winslow family and their nerdy neighbor, Steve Urkel. Urkel was an odd guy. He was brilliant and lovable, but also goofy, unpopular, and clumsy. Since his clumsiness often resulted in some kind of destruction, we heard Steve say this catchphrase constantly.

VIDEO | Family Matters, Urkel vs. Fuffner

But there's another thing we saw in many of the early episodes — Urkel and Fuffner (the school bully) exchanging words.

INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, play a short clip from the episode "Requiem for an Urkel (Season 2, Episode 11)" (7:41-8:41)

It's pretty obvious Fuffner is a jerk. He bullies everyone, so it's no surprise why the audience loves it when Steve lands a comeback.

POLL | What About You?

We've all been in situations where we've exchanged insults with someone, right? Whether it's in fun or in anger, sometimes we use words like weapons, like when we gossip, start rumors, criticize, mock, tease, or insult.

INSTRUCTIONS: Have students reply to the following questions by raising their hands.

So what about you?

Have you gotten angry because of someone's words recently?

Have you been hurt or embarrassed by someone's words recently?

Have you said anything to anger, hurt, or embarrass someone else recently?

We've all been hurt by others' words, and we've all used our words like weapons. So today, we're going to talk about our words.

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

It's probably not difficult for you to remember some of the hurtful things that have been said to you. Whether it was a family member, friend, bully, or person on the internet, hurtful words stay with us. Words have a lot of power. So what do we do when someone's words hurt us deeply? And what do we do when we really want to use our words like weapons?

THAT'S RAD

Like we mentioned last week, there were a lot of people who thought Jesus was too "radical."

In the 90s, "rad" meant "cool." But it's real meaning has to do with being different, revolutionary, and counter-cultural. What Jesus said about loving God and others was radical, and what He teaches us about our words is pretty radical too.

SCRIPTURE | James 3:1-12

Throughout this series, we're looking to the Bible for practical advice on how to change the world with God's radical love, and that search has led us to the book of James.

This "book" is a letter written by a guy named James, Jesus' brother. I don't know if James and Jesus ever got into fights when they were kids, but I would be pretty terrified to go verbally toe-to-toe with Jesus, and not just because He's God. When you read the stories of Jesus in the New Testament, it's clear that Jesus was pretty clever. Whenever someone tried to fight, trick, or debate with Him, Jesus always had a comeback that made people stop and think. James was around Jesus his entire life, so he probably lost a few debates to Him. Because he knew Jesus so well, the letter he wrote is packed with summaries of Jesus' teachings, retold in James' own words. James is known for its straightforward instructions for how to follow Jesus. These teachings might seem simple, but they have the power to create radical change. Let's see what radical things James has to say about our words.

IMAGES | Bits, Rudders, and Sparks

James uses a lot of word pictures to help us understand the power of our words.

INSTRUCTIONS: As you talk about each example, show an image on screen like this horse and bit, this airplane rudder, and this spark.

THE BIT:

This small piece of metal lets humans guide huge animals with very little effort. In the hands of any rider, the bit is a helpful tool that keeps both human and horse on the right track.

THE RUDDER:

James writes about the rudder of a boat, but maybe you're more familiar with airplanes. Can you spot the rudder on an airplane? It's that tiny flap on the very back of the tail. Isn't it amazing that such an enormous machine is steered by such a small thing?

THE SPARK:

We use small controlled sparks to light candles, campfires, fireplaces, and stoves. But an uncontrolled spark (like our uncontrolled words) can cause a significant amount of damage. The words we say might seem small, but they have the potential to make a significant impact. And when the words we say are harmful, the harm they cause can be significant too. You can see James lamenting in this passage about how difficult it is for us to control our tongues. We say hurtful things one minute and then turn around to pray or sing a worship song the next. He's frustrated and fed up — probably with himself as well as with others.

SCRIPTURE | Mark 7:6-8, 20-23

Remember when we said James often retold the teachings of Jesus in his own words? Let's take a look at one time when Jesus said something that sounds familiar.

In this passage, some religious leaders showed up to exchange words with Jesus. They didn't like the radical things Jesus had to say, so they often picked fights with Him. This time, they tried to debate Jesus about the way His followers were eating. According to these leaders, Jesus' friends weren't following the right religious rules around food. Let's see how much Jesus actually cared about His disciples' eating habits.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read Mark 7:6-8

Mark 7:6–8 NIV

He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: “ ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’ You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.”

Mark 7:20–23 NIV

He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”

Here, we can make some important observations about words.

Jesus' words might sound harsh.

He isn't cruel, but He calls the religious leaders hypocrites and doesn't hold back from telling them the truth.

God doesn't want our hypocritical words.

No matter how many words we use to pray or worship, God isn't impressed with the holy things we say when we're also using our words to hurt others.

Our words reflect our hearts. Jesus reminds us to look at what's in our hearts, because what's in our hearts determines what comes out of our mouths. If we're filled with greed, pride, or jealousy, it's not just our words we need to address — it's our hearts. Both Jesus and James knew this was true: the words we say matter because they're a reflection of who we really are. So we need to watch what we say and watch what's in our hearts. Can you imagine how your family, friends, school, or the world, could be different if we decided not to use our words like weapons? If we could find a new way to use our words, the change would be radical. So do you want to see that radical change? Are you not sure what you think about Jesus yes, but you know you want to see more good and less hate in the world? Then James tells us how to love like Jesus:

radical people watch their words.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

STORY | Talk about how someone's words encouraged you.

INSTRUCTIONS: Tell a story from your own life (or ask a student or volunteer to tell a story) about a time when someone's words helped, inspired, or encouraged you. Share what they said, how it made you feel, and how it impacted your life, perspective, or beliefs about yourself.

My Aunt Sharon always encourages me.

She lives up in Georgetown right past Lexington.

She sends me cards from time to time, and writes on fb or insta encouraging stuff all the time.

I’ve know her my whole life, and never heard one discouraging thing from her.

When I’m around her, I just feel better about life.

My Aunt Pam is the same way.

She lives close to Gulf Shores, Al.

Always encouraging, helping, loving and never being critical.

Any time I’m around them, the more I’m reminded that we need more people like them in this world.

Sometimes it's easier to remember the hurtful things that have been said to us than it is to remember the encouraging things, but people's encouraging words stay with us too. Even if we can't remember them word for word, we remember the way their words changed us.

OBJECT LESSON | Tattoos

Since James used lots of object lessons to talk about words, I'm going to give you a few as well. Words are kind of like tattoos. Once you get one, it doesn't go away. It might fade slightly over time, and you could try to have it removed or cover it up with another tattoo, but the message of the original will be etched onto your skin for life.

INSTRUCTIONS: While you're teaching, show students a tattoo you or another adult in the room have. If no one has a tattoo, show an image of a tattoo.

*Brad?*

Like a tattoo, you can't take back the words you say.

Yes, you can apologize for hurtful things you've said, but the wounds left by your words won't simply disappear. But your words of love, hope, and encouragement won't disappear either. They leave a mark that lasts.

OBJECT LESSON | Binoculars

That's why it's so important to watch our words carefully, as if we're using binoculars. When we speak, we need to look at our words up close.

INSTRUCTIONS: As you teach, hold up and look through a pair of binoculars.

Here's what to do with what we see.

WONDER ABOUT YOUR WORDS. Whether you're speaking in person or online, pay attention the words you say. Are they hurtful? Helpful? True? Kind?

SPEND EXTRA TIME THINKING BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Before you send that text, post that comment, or make that joke, pause for a little bit longer than you usually would. It's so easy to be careless with our words, but this pause can help us think about the impact our words make.

FORGIVE WHEN WORDS HURT. We can't forget, un-hear, or un-say hurtful words, but we can forgive ourselves and others when words hurt. Forgive each other. Forgive yourself. We're all still growing and learning.

CHOOSE WORDS THAT HELP. Watching our words doesn't mean staying silent or only saying "nice" things. Like Jesus, sometimes we need to say words that are true even if they're uncomfortable. So how do we know what to say? Try saying words that help, uplift, speak truth, or challenge others to be more like Jesus.

RESPONSE | Watching (and Writing) Your Words

INSTRUCTIONS: Before your program, print and cut the handouts provided in your Week 3 folder. Place one under each seat.

This week, I want to encourage you to watch your words by writing down your words. You can use the paper we've given you or you can take notes on your phone, but here's what I want you to do each day:

Write down at least one thing you said (either hurtful or helpful). If it was hurtful, ask God to help you understand why you said what you did. Ask for strength and healing to be different. Then make it right with the person you hurt. If it was helpful, ask God to help you use more of your words to love others like Jesus would. It's not easy to be so careful about our words, but that's the point! Radical, important, world-changing things are never easy. This week, will you decide to do something simple, but difficult? Will you do something radical? Will you strive to love God and others with the words you say? I hope so!

Because

radical people watch their words.

OBJECT LESSON | Tattoos and Warheads

INSTRUCTION: If you'd like, pass out one or two items to students on their way out. First, a temporary tattoo — use the images provided in your Week 3 folder to order custom temporary tattoos with the Big Idea. Second, a super sour Warhead — while the candy is sour, have students think about hurtful things they've said recently. When it turns sweet, have them think about encouraging things they could say instead.

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