Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
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How many have had an issue with someone stepping over your boundaries?
What I have found is that your the one with the boundary issue!
Story: Father who went to councilor for his sons “problems”.
Where is he?
He feels like he does not have any problems and refused to come.
What are your sons problems:
Drugs
Failed out of collage 3 times
How?
Didn’t have the grades but I was on board...
Second time: Put in condo off campus so he would not have access to parties, gave allowance so would not have to work and he partied anyway
Third time: who knows
Where is he now?
In Vail CO on a ski trip
I can’t help your son, he has no problems!
Of course he has problems!
No, does a man on a Colorado ski trip sound like he has problems?
You, dad/mom have a drug problem, you have a failing problem
What I can do is help your son to have problems!
Boundaries are property lines that define what we are responsible for and not responsible for.
Draw square to illustrate boundary lines
Healthy boundaries are designed to help us live our lives as God intended.
We have all found that the needs and demands of others get in the way, how do we determine what I should or shouldn not do.
This is the function of a boundary - to keep the good in and the bad out.
Act as an alarm system.
Help protect our freedom.
What is a boundary?
Property line - defines where ownership begins and end.
This is me, this is you
Property lines gives you:
Control Gal 5 - fruit of the spirit
Defines responsibility for what happens in my property, but not someone else's
I am MY problem, YOU are your problem
(We do have a responsibility to each other but that is not the lesson for today.
What we are talking about now is what are we responsible for.)
When you don’t have boundaries, people and circumstance place liens on your property.
Consequence - define and protect your property
Example: tree on neighbors property falls on your fence - it goes to court and the judge will tell your neighbor that the cleanup and repair for the damage is the neighbors fault…
So when people don’t take responsibility for their lives, there is collateral damage that is done to the surrounding property (lives).
If you don’t have boundaries, when a loved one is addicted, insecure, angry, manipulative, abusive - YOU end up with all the pain of that loved ones problems!
NOT talking about legitimately helping one another - bearing one another burdens.
Boundaries set limits...
This is your tree, your addiction, your problem, your anger
SO does God have boundaries?
Two sides to God that are always parallel.
Love vs. Righteousness
Grace vs. Truth
Mercy vs. Responsibility
God loves but will ALWAYS hold people accountable
Always go together
If he loved without holding ppl accountable he would be co-dependent
If he only held ppl accountable wo love then he would be a tyrant
BUT he has boundaries!
Forgiveness and righteousness
So in every violation of boundaries we apply a combination of grace and truth!
I love you, here are the requirements and consequences.
What does the bible call it when you enter someone else’s property?
Boundaries tell you what you are responsible for and who you are responsible to.
I am responsible for me
I am responsible to you
I have to trim the trees on my property and fix the mess when I don’t.
So, I say/do something that hurts you I have a responsibility to go to you and make it right.
I am responsible for me, what I do.
BUT what if you do something to me and don’t make it right?
You don’t clean up your tree that fell on my fence…
BEST: don’t be offended
ALSO: you are responsible for you feelings and say that is hurting me.
Stop, you have crossed my boundary!
I am not responsible for you behavior, I am responsible to you for reconciliation.
When do we loose boundaries?
When we judge someone based on their situation or circumstance.
You allow them to trespass into your property because they have a special circumstance.
I am going to once again lend uncle Joe money I don’t have because he is having a hard time.
Truth:
Uncle Joe has enough money to eat at Texas Roadhouse last week…
Uncle Joe has a tough time every month just about 2 days before my payday…
So because of their situation, I allow them to trespass into my finances once again.
Part of being well (yourself and the trespasser) is holding them accountable.
It don’t mean you don’t feel bad for them...
Rather love them enough to hurt them.
Don’t mean a friend knows how to hurt you the best...
Rather, that a friend will speak truth to you.
Bishop Bertel’s Translation (BBT) - A true friend will have boundaries…
Boundaries keep good stuff in and bad stuff out.
Protection
Why do you have doors and locks?
So why do you let just anyone trample you emotional and spritual property?
Make choices to let good ppl in and keep bad ppl out.
Boundaries are not walls.
There are gates where I can let love in but close to abuse.
Our response when we confront a trespasser is to shrug it off…
OK, that’s on them!
If they want to be a jerk...
JUST OPEN THE GATES AND LET THEM ABUSE YOU!
BUT the bible builds the fence higher at each turn…
Progression of trespass:
Trespass
You go and express the violation
If the trespasser sees the offense and corrects, you have won a brother
If the trespasser does not see the offence then go and get 1-2 more and have them listen.
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