Commands of Christ – 28c

Wednesday, October 19, 2022 Commands of Christ – 28c

Before we get to the lesson: Voting

If you have already voted, this is an irrelevant discussion.

If you haven’t maybe this will help.

First, an observation: There were many Christians who enthusiastically voted for Donald Trump in 2016 and 2020.

Indeed there are many who would love to see him run again in 2024.

Even though he is a deeply, deeply flawed man.

All of us are flawed, but most of us have not done the things Donald Trump has done maritally, sexually outside of marriage, financially, public displays of anger, etc.

We don’t go off on a tear on Twitter every moment of every day publically saying horrible things about people.

The point is, if you were (still are?) enthusiastic about Donald Trump, why would you not vote for Herchell Walker even though he too is a deeply flawed man?

Like Donald Trump, he has no political political record to examine — so we can’t evaluate based on that.

He SAYS he is pro-life and supports other Biblical issues.

Like Trump, his life doesn’t necessarily reflect it.

BUT, realize that, because this vote is so close, NOT voting in this race or voting for the Libertarian candidate is actually a vote for pro abortion, anti Biblical values, Warnock.

Is that accurate?

Also, the party platform and the party in control of the House and Senate is a huge issue.

The Georgia senate race is a pivotal election to determine that.

Yesterday, President Biden said if they retain control of congress they will again push for a law that legalizes abortion.

SO, your prayerful vote is important!

As promised: Dr. Charles Stanley (from his radio broadcast, Insight for Living, of October 11, 2022)

https://www.intouch.org/listen/radio/anger-and-forgiveness-part-2

1. I need to acknowledge I have experienced God’s total forgiveness in my life — by grace. I didn’t earn it. God’s been forgiving me all my Christian life. I can forgive others because I am constantly forgiven by God.

2. I must be willing to confess my anger, hostility, bitterness, rage, resentment to God. Confessions must be specific and personal.

3. I must admit that I have violated God’s Word by sinning against God and others.

4. Ask God to forgive you. Specifically for what I’ve done and my attitude. This is an act of the will — not emotions.

5. Go to person and ask forgiveness. If person is not available (dead, etc.) set 2 chairs face to face and pretend person is in the other chair. This is also a good way to rehearse before an in-person apology to get our approach right (conform to godly pattern).

To me, this is more about forgiving someone who was angry at us for (what seems like) an unjust cause.

Open: Last week we dealt with a Biblical account on the unrighteous anger of Cain.

NEXT week we deal with the outcomes of the righteous anger of Moses.

But, THIS week, let’s start by asking: do you have any counsel for Abel about how to deal with an angry Cain? If he had known about it (anger is often a public spectacle), how could/should he have dealt with it?

Anger is contagious: We tend to get angry with someone who is angry towards us.

Remember, last week? We tend to …

5. The normalization of vengeful responses.

A quick scan of Twitter responses reveals that it is not unusual for responses not just to debate, rebuke, or confront, but to harm.

A person who is hurt by a post responds in a way that is calculated to hurt in return, to damage a person’s reputation, or even to attempt to end someone’s career.

(I would say: The same is often true of in-person responses.)

Here’s what we need to remember:

vengeful anger is always the result of some person trying to do God’s job. There is only one judge of the heart. There is only one who is able to mete out perfectly holy and just judgment.

This article is adapted from Reactivity: How the Gospel Transforms Our Actions and Reactions by Paul David Tripp.

So, instead:

Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

Example: Judges 8:1–3 (NASB95) Then the men of Ephraim said to him, “What is this thing you have done to us, not calling us when you went to fight against Midian?” And they contended with him vigorously. 2 But he said to them, “What have I done now in comparison with you? Is not the gleaning of the grapes of Ephraim better than the vintage of Abiezer? 3 “God has given the leaders of Midian, Oreb and Zeeb into your hands; and what was I able to do in comparison with you?” Then their anger toward him subsided when he said that.

In dealing with an angry person, WE need to avoid anger ourselves (hard to do!).

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NASB95) Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.

Proverbs 15:18 (NASB95) A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.

James 1:19 “This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;”

This can be reflected in the way we handle conflict. Alfred Ells says…

Five Conflict Styles

Conflict isn’t easy on anyone. Few people are skilled in handling conflict biblically and effectively, and even fewer do so.

Avoidance Style

This reaction to conflict is often motivated by fear of confrontation.

The thinking behind this approach goes something like I can’t win, so why try? or He won’t listen, so it’s not worth going directly to him.

This style perceives conflict as hopeless to resolve and often results in the person distancing himself from the other party, shutting down communication, and giving the other party the cold shoulder.

This is a passive-aggressive way of dealing with conflict.

The exception: Some conflicts are best understood as too difficult to handle.

The more you attempt reasonable discourse, the stickier and more convoluted the conflict becomes.

Continued dialogue makes the problem worse, not better, so it is best to avoid further attempts at resolution unless a mediator is present.

Yield Style

The thinking behind this style goes something like I’ll give in for the sake of the relationship or It’s not worth making a big deal out of it. This style is also motivated by fear of confrontation because of the possible loss of the relationship.

The exception: Some conflicts are simply not worth having even though the relationship is valuable. The issue is minor, and the energy necessary to achieve resolution is greater than the potential benefit.

Sometimes it is indeed best to yield and move on.

However, make sure this does not develop into an ongoing style of dealing with conflict.

Win Style

As the name suggests, leaders who respond to conflict with a win style are certain they’re right, the other person is wrong, and the goal is to convince the person of his or her error. This style is a coercive and authoritarian attempt to resolve a conflict. It often leads to attacking the other person instead of gracefully resolving the problem, as it springs from a “my way or the highway” attitude.

The exception: There may be instances when you’re in a position of authority and must exert your authority on behalf of the organization regardless of the other person’s viewpoint.

However, doing so without rancor or rudeness is a must.

Graciousness and sensitivity are advised.

Good leaders utilize this style infrequently and only as a last resort.

Compromise Style

The compromise style involves meeting halfway and giving up your ideal to achieve unity and peace.

This often happens when conflicting views cannot be readily resolved.

The key is to yield in areas that do not violate your convictions.

Doing so would be sin for you.

Research indicates that this style is not used often, but on occasion it can be beneficial.

Resolve Style

This is often described as the win-win style.

It’s the ideal way to resolve a conflict, because both parties come together and reason in a manner that leads to problem-solving and emotional resolution.

It takes a lot of work, and both parties must be willing to follow the biblical admonition to “first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5).

We must make sure we confess our own sin and shortcomings before approaching our adversary with his.

Sadly, this style is used only 5 percent of the time.[1]

And then Insight for Living. (2007). Counseling Insights: A Biblical Perspective on Caring for People talks about …

When Angry People Are Part of Your Life

• Commit to unconditionally loving him or her while not tolerating (or encouraging) sinful patterns.

Not tolerating seems … (confrontational, anger inducing, etc.)

• Break the cycle of unforgiveness. Don’t let your unforgiveness of his misbehavior hinder your relationship.

Jonah was mad at God for relenting of His punishment on Nineveh:

Jonah 3:10 (NASB95) When God saw their deeds, that they turned from their wicked way, then God relented concerning the calamity which He had declared He would bring upon them. And He did not do it.

It seems it definitely affected Jonah’s relationship with God:

Jonah 4:1–11 (NASB95) But it greatly displeased Jonah and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the LORD and said, “Please LORD, was not this what I said while I was still in my own country? Therefore in order to forestall this I fled to Tarshish, for I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, and one who relents concerning calamity. 3 “Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for death is better to me than life.” 4 The LORD said, “Do you have good reason to be angry?” 5 Then Jonah went out from the city and sat east of it. There he made a shelter for himself and sat under it in the shade until he could see what would happen in the city. 6 So the LORD God appointed a plant and it grew up over Jonah to be a shade over his head to deliver him from his discomfort. And Jonah was extremely happy about the plant. 7 But God appointed a worm when dawn came the next day and it attacked the plant and it withered. 8 When the sun came up God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on Jonah’s head so that he became faint and begged with all his soul to die, saying, “Death is better to me than life.” 9 Then God said to Jonah, “Do you have good reason to be angry about the plant?” And he said, “I have good reason to be angry, even to death.” 10 Then the LORD said, “You had compassion on the plant for which you did not work and which you did not cause to grow, which came up overnight and perished overnight. 11 “Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals?”

• Surrender your right to retaliate. Remember that God is the righteous Judge (Rom. 12:19).

Romans 12:19–21 (NASB95) Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. 20 “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

• Seek first to understand his or her feelings and only then attempt to explain your own.

• Maintain a confident, non-defensive attitude. The more you defend yourself, the more you feed his or her desire to attack you.

• Understand the difference between

(1) unhealthy escape to avoid a confrontation and

(2) healthy distance that keeps the peace until you can talk reasonably about the problem (James 1:19).

• If your safety is threatened, remove yourself and any children to a safe place.

Do not return until the angry person has agreed to a strategy for dealing with his or her anger.

• Genuinely receive words you’d rather not hear and consider whether the words contain helpful truth.

• If at all possible, find a way to agree sincerely with at least part of what the angry person is saying.

• Consider beforehand how you tend to err in dealing with angry people (Ps. 4:4).

Psalm 4:4 (NLT) Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent. Interlude

• Evaluate how you react to your own anger.

• Use the person’s name to make a personal connection.

• Relate at a feeling level, acknowledging the other person’s emotions as well as yours. Be patient, calm, and confident. This may not be the time to share your own grievances.

• Be careful making any physical contact, since your motive may be misunderstood. Defensive, agitated people are not at their best and are prone to mistaken impressions.

• Don’t assume you have to do something or fix the problem. Often, angry people just want to be heard.[2]

[1]Ells, A. (2020). The resilient leader: how adversity can change you and your ministry for the better. David C Cook. [2]Insight for Living. (2007). Counseling Insights: A Biblical Perspective on Caring for People (p. 419). Insight for Living.

From: Adult Questions for LESSONMaker.