Sermon Tone Analysis

Introduction

We’ve been considering a series through Colossians 3 on the daily, practical Christian life.

There are implications in terms of the Gospel.

Our lives are not the same once the Gospel has transformed us.

The work of the Gospel within our hearts must transform us.

As we’ve considered the characteristics, or rather tha character traits of those who are transformed by the Gospel, we’ve seen that their lives are to be marked by a Christ-likeness in all of their conduct.

Our treatment of one another within church; our treatment of one another in our homes; our treatment of other people within work contexts, school contexts etc. is to marked by Christ-like character.

This is certainly not easy!

Now, we’ve started looking at how this looks in family relations.

We saw how wives are to be subject to (or submissive to) their husbands.

We’ve seen how husbands are to love their wives, and treat them well.

We looked together at the command given to children, and the fact that God calls children to honour / be obedient to their parents.

And the next subject in this series would be to consider the parent’s responsibility to their children.

I had planned to get onto this topic next week, but with Marco being unwell, I’ve decided to actually break this topic up into two sections.

If you read Colossians 3:21, you’ll see the one aspect of parents training up their children..

This verse in Colossians really speaks to the manner in which children are raised up, disciplined, trained etc.

In the parallel section in Ephesians 6:4, there is an added dimension to the call to parents, and it’s that added dimension that I’d like to briefly consider this evening.

This evening I’d like us to consider the second half of Ephesians 6:4, which isn’t actually brought out in Colossians 3:21, but is so important for parents to consider.

While the initial half of the verse warns parents to be careful of how they raise their children, so as not to embitter them, the second half emphsizes the importance of actually training them very intentionally in the ways of God.

That is what we will be considering this evening.

1.

Who is Addressed?

The first thing we note from verse 4 is that the verse is addressed to fathers.

Now, immediately I want to make the point that this verse does not only apply to fathers, but rather to mothers and fathers.

All through the book of Proverbs, it is clearly evident that both mother and father are responsible for the training up and teaching of the children.

Beyond that, it is usually the case that mothers have far more influence over their children, particuarly in the younger years, because they will generally spend far more time with their children that fathers.

Biblically, it is the wife’s / mother’s responsibility to be at home and raise the children, while the fathers are out seeking to provide for their families.

A wonderful example of this is found in Timothy, where Paul actually reminds Timothy that it was his mother and grandmother that essentially shaped his thinking in terms of God.

Where did Timothy (whose father was a Greek) learn his faith?

Through his mother and grandmother.

They had powerful influences over his life.

In that sense, we must keep in mind that this call applies to parents generally.

However, in a home with both parents present, the ultimate responsibility rests on fathers to actually train up their children as per the requirements in God’s word.

This is the natural extension of the father’s headship in the home.

As the one who is head of the home, the direction and tone of the home should be set by fathers.

Much of the teaching should flow out of the life of the father, both in terms of his conduct, and also in terms of what gets taught in the home.

Let me encourage our fathers not to get so caught up in “providing for” the family, that you are never able to “teach and instruct” in the family.

This requires, indeed God calls for, our involvement.

With that in mind…

2. What is Required?

As Paul writes this letter to the Ephesians, he gives parents some very important and helpful guidance in terms of what is involved in their input into their children’s lives.

There are three words that Paul uses here that will help us to discern how it is that we are to raise our children.

2.1.

Nourishment

The instruction that is given by Paul here is to “bring them up” in a particular manner.

The word in the Greek that is used here for “bringing them up” actually has the meaning to “nourish them.”

It has the idea of providing a particular kind of care for them as our children, so that their lives would be filled and well nourished.

The same word is used for the nourishment of the physical body in Ephesians 5:29…

Every human nourishes their body through feeding it.

This is the same word that Paul uses when calling upon parents to raise their children in a particular manner.

The work and the task of parents is to provide such care for their children so that their lives are built up and nourished in that which is good for them, so that they will reach maturity.

We will see a little later on that this maturity is always in relation to God.

In other words, it must have in mind a building up and nourishing such that spiritual maturity is reached.

That is the goal.

Fathers and mothers are to nurture, and to feed into the lives of their children in such a manner that their children are nourished towards living godly lives.

That leads us to the second word that Paul uses…

2.2.

Discipline

The word that Paul uses here has the idea of training them in the skills, character and ability that they need to enable them to live life to the glory of God.

It certainly includes and element of instruction in it, but it goes beyond this.

It has to do with disciplined training.

The same word is used in 2 Timothy 3:16

That word training is the word that is used here.

Now, before I take this further in terms of what it means, I want us to consider what it means to train as an athlete.

I’ll use swimming as an example, simply because that’s the area my own children have at least received some dedicated physical training.

But think about an olympic swimmer.

Their training does not simply involve getting into a pool of water and swimming lengths.

It is significantly more than that!

An olympic swimmer is trained through technique exercise, from how they dive into the water, to how they do underwater dolphin kicks to push them further as quickly as possible, to how the do their tumble turns as efficiently as possible to how they approach the end of a lap in order to touch the wall quicker.

Of course, they’re trained to carry out their stroke in as efficient manner as possible.

But it goes beyond this.

Sometimes it wil involve other fitness and strength training exercises.

That may mean working out in the gym in order to strength particular groupings of muscles.

But it extends even further than this.

Olympic level athletes are required to wake up in the early hours of the morning, and get to bed at an appropriate time.

They’re trained a routine in life and stick to it, because going outside of it will cost them a medal.

Even beyond this, they go according to a strict diet.

Any foods that fall outside of their strict dietry requirements are not allowed.

Now, before you go home this evening and thrust your children into an olympic training regimen, please wait until we finish next week’s sermon on not exasperating them.

But the point is this.

Training is multi-faceted, and it is disciplined.

The same word that Paul uses here for discipline is found in Hebrews 12 when the writer to the Hebrews speaks about God disciplining the children that He loves.

The purposes of God for His own children is to train them and instruct them to become people that bring honour and glory to Him.

Now, we must note that such discipline is not easy.

In fact, the discipline is very often hard.

Now, in the same way that the instruction that God gives to us as his children is painful, or sorrowful, we need to recognise as parents that the training and disicipline that we give to our own children is not going to be easy for them.

What we should not do is say to ourselves that we aren’t going to discipline them because we can see it’s difficult for them.

That would be unloving.

Rather, we are to train them and teach them in such a manner that they learn through the struggles of discipline.

We should not exasperate them… we need to do this in an understanding manner.

We need to give consideration to our children, and who they are, and be sensitive to them.

But we must not leave them at the first moaning and groaning that comes from their mouths.

It’s going to happen, but we should graciously and lovingly seek to keep training them.

That leads us to the third word that Paul uses…

2.3.

Instruction

This word certainly relates to instruction, but it goes beyond mere giving instructions, or teaching them how to do things.

It is a strong word that has to do with warning.

The word “admonishing” is the same word that is used here, and it contains within it a sense of giving them warning.

One major Greek lexicon defines the word like this: “to counsel about avoidance or cessation of an improper course of conduct.”

There is a dimension of corrective warning that needs to be given by parents in order to ensure that their children are directed and guided along the paths of wisdom through God’s word.

As parents, particularly if we are Christian parents, God has given us a measure of wisdom that ought to be carried over to our children in terms of life in this world.

And we need to give encouragement and admonition.

Proverbs speaks about folly being bound up in the heart of a child, and the rod of discipline driving such folly far from them.