Sermon Tone Analysis

How the Dream Comes Crashing Down

God has a dream, an ideal for marriage.

He designed humans to reflect his image, especially his unity, his covenant faithfulness, and his love.

He intended that we would show the world what God is like through our marriages and relationships, and he designed us for life-long companionship and blessing.

But… very shortly after God created Adam and Eve a problem was introduced—a threat.

The Invisible Threat

God’s great purposes for marriage and all of humanity were challenged by a fallen angel, Satan, also known as “the serpent.”

Gen 3:1 “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?””

God created Adam and Eve with the capacity to choose between God’s desires for their lives and their own desires—His way or their way.

Satan entered their story and convinced them to trust their own way rather than God’s.

Immediately they moved away from oneness and drifted toward isolation from each other and God.

For the first time in history, people experienced:

Shame — Gen 3:7 “...they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.”

Guilt — Gen 3:8 “...the man and his wife hid themselves....”

Fear — Gen 3:9-10 “...I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”

Blame-shifting — Gen 3:11-14 “...The woman whom you gave” “...The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Battle for control — Gen 3:15-16 “...Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

Satan continues to sabotage oneness in families today by encouraging independence from God.

He knows it will have far reaching consequences:

Distorting a vision of God’s existence

Destroying God’s influence on future generations

Disrupting companionship between spouses and friends

The tragedy today is that many Christians think they are fighting flesh and blood in their marital and parenting issues, rather than realizing that Satan has an agenda to destroy their home.

Whoever controls the family controls the future.

~ Tony Evans

The Internal Threat

We have a heart-level posture of trusting our own way over God’s way.

This stems from our sinful nature that the Bible calls walking in the “flesh.”

No one is immune to this problem.

Isaiah 53:6 “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

We tend to think of ourselves first and foremost.

We have blindspots—we’re easily deceived into believing our thoughts, judgments, and choices are usually right.

Prov 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”

We see the faults in others—especially our spouse—before we see them in ourselves.

Often accusing and criticizing others for the very same things we do.

We seek out ways to fix the emptiness created by sin.

When our souls feel restless we chase after alternatives — “affairs” — to fill the void.

A person outside our marriage

Your career and ambitions

Your favorite activities and pursuits

Other relationships you prioritize over your spouse

Fantasy or pornographic material

Jeremiah 2:13 “for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.”

God is the need-meeting fountain of living water.

While all my attempts to solve my needs on my own are empty and dry.

Making it Personal: How do you see your “flesh” act out in your relationships?

self-centeredness

fits of anger

shaming

avoiding

hiding

laziness

jealousy

blame

sexual temptation

stubbornness

addictions

lying

bitterness

self-righteousness

bickering

pride

apathy

obscene words

The External Threat

When you have a world full of people choosing their own way over God’s purposes and plans for human flourishing, you experience:

Competing philosophies: a world offering deceptive alternatives to God’s design for our marriage.

They say marriage is outdate, unnecessary, a contract, primarily about me and my desires, or that its a form of control.

Compelling influencers: A world full of influential platforms and personalities producing images, ideas, and thoughts about relationships that often contradict God’s design for our marriage.

The Bible speaks of three major threats to your life and marriage:

Satan — The invisible threat

Eph 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

Our sinful nature — the internal threat

Our world — the external threat

Marriage is under attack.

Marriage has always been under attack.

The world, the flesh and the devil are all adamantly opposed to marriage, and especially to marriages that are distinctly Christian.

Marriage, after all, is given by God to strengthen his people and to glorify himself; little wonder, then, that it is constantly a great battleground.

~ Tim Challies

Remember this: Your Spouse is Not Your Enemy

God’s Power For Oneness

God’s original design for marriage was for oneness.

Following God’s design leads to oneness, and following any alternative we can dream of or the world throws at us will always lead to isolation.

A.W. Tozer once said, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”

What words come to your mind when you think about God?

There are four ways that God offers help and hope to our lives and marriages.

God pursues us even when we don’t pursue Him.

He loves us

Lam 3:22-23 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

He knows our sin nature is a problem we can’t fix on our own.

Sin can’t be excused by a holy God — Isaiah 59:2 “but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.”

Sin has consequences in this life and the next — 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”

Sin can’t be cleansed by good works, or good behavior, or good intentions — Isaiah 64:6 “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.

We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.”

In God’s economy, sin can only be dealt with by the shedding of blood — Heb 9:22 “Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.”

He knows we were made to experience something more — Eph 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

“God pursues us.

He pursues us in our brokenness.