The Problem of the Fear of Man (Fear of Man 1)

Ed Welch, in his book “When People are Big and God is Small” does an incredible job of walking thoroughly through this. Time this weekend does not permit me to walk through as extensively as the subject deserves or needs, but I would HIGHLY encourage you to get a copy of the book, to read it and study through it together...to carefully heed the truth contained within. He has done masterful job of exegetting scripture explaining the issues that we can grow through them.

You will get some of it this week. I may even quote or refer to him throughout our times together as I have leaned upon his work and expertise to help outline these sessions.

I DO LIKE TO BE INTERACTIVE.

So I will be inviting you to respond and to interact with me during these sessions together.

Book

Big Idea: We must recognize that fear of man is a universal problem and that we are not exempt.

What is the “fear of man?”

Fear defined - Merriam Webster

An unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by the anticipation or awareness of danger.

Profound reverence and awe especially toward God.

Fear is BOTH understood as terror and awe.

Ed Welch describes fear this way...

“Fear” in the biblical sense is a much broader word. It includes being afraid of someone, but it extends to holding someone in awe, being controlled or mastered by people, worshipping other people, putting your trust in people, or needing people. Edward Welch

The fear of man can be summarized as The replacing of God with people. Instead of our fear and reverence of God guiding us, our fear of man does instead.

What are some other names for “fear of man?”

Peer-pressure

People-pleaser

Codependency

You wanna know what is really involved here; what is really going on?

We end up being more concerned about looking stupid in front of others than we are about acting sinfully before God.

Fear of Man trumps fear of God when we concede to these temptations in our life.

How do you know if you struggle with the fear of man?

Discerning evidence of fear of man in you...

Have you ever struggled with peer pressure?

Are you over-committed? (You just can’t say NO to people.)

Do you “need” something from your spouse/friend/parent/ boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.?

Is self-esteem a critical concern for you?

Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an imposter?

Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think?

Do you feel empty or meaningless?

Do you get easily embarrassed?

Do you ever lie, especially the “little white lies”?

Are you jealous of other people?

Do other people often make you angry or depressed?

Do you avoid people?

Aren’t most diets, even when they are ostensibly under the heading of “health,” dedicated to impressing others?

When you compare yourself to others, do you feel good about yourself?

Where does fear of man come from?

Sin - Our Own

Shame Fear

Genesis 3:1-10.

Man’s first impulse and response after sin was to hide. To cover up.

Sin - Others Unto Us

Victimized fear

Genesis 34:1-4 - Dinah

Shechem takes a shine to Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, and takes her by force, sinning grievously against her.

This was a previous sin done UNTO her that involve NO GUILT on her part.

When other sin against us, when we become victims, fear is awoken; the fear of man is released.

...there are two ways that we can become naked. The first is the self-imposed nakedness that is due to our sinful nature and our personal sin. The second is other-imposed nakedness that we experience because of the sin of other people. Ed Welch

Both kinds of shame and fear exist.

Often, this victimized shame fear intensifies sin shame. The two often come together and play off of each other.

Therefore, because of our sin and the sin of others that affects us, we see this fear playing out in several ways in our lives.

Why do we fear people?

Three basic reasons why we fear people.

They can expose and humiliate us.

They can reject, ridicule, or despise us.

They can attack, oppress, or threaten us.

What do all three of these things have in common?

People are bigger (more powerful and significant) than God.

This fear of man is also seen and shows up in the less technical, secularized version that we often refer to as Self-Esteem.

How is Self-Esteem the same things as our fear of man?

Welch notes...

...but you are more likely to be familiar with shame’s less technical form — self-esteem. Shame, and its feeling of disgrace before God and others, surfaces in our culture as low self-esteem, with its feelings of worthlessness. Shame and low self-esteem are both rooted in Adam’s sin. They both are governed by the perceived opinions of others, and they both involve “not feeling good about ourselves.” The only difference is that our word “shame” still retains the idea that we are ashamed before God as well as before other people, while self-esteem is seen as strictly a problem between ourselves and other people, or a problem just within ourselves. Low self-esteem is a pop version of biblical shame or nakedness. It is secularized shame. Ed Welch

Fear of man and our culture’s emphasis on self-esteem are two inseparable topics that are really the same discussion.

The push and drive for having a better self-esteem is because of our fear of man so often influences our decisions and actions.

The world’s cure for the fear of man is to feel better about yourself, to believe more in yourself, to know your worth and value, and to not let what others think about you change who you are.

Welch further notes....

That’s the paradox of self-esteem: Low self-esteem usually means that I think too highly of myself. I’m too self-involved, I feel I deserve better than what I have. The reason I feel bad about myself is that I aspire to something more. I want just a few minutes of greatness. I am a peasant who wants to be king. When you are in the grips of low self-esteem, it’s painful, and it certainly doesn’t feel like pride. But I believe that this is the dark, quieter side of pride — thwarted pride. Ed Welch

Let me ask this…what scriptures can you point to that prompt us to have better self-esteem, to feel better about ourselves, to believe in and trust ourselves?

Zero. They do not exist. In fact, the exact opposite is true.

Our hearts are deceitfully wicked, who can know it.

It is out of the heart that flow all evil deeds and words.

When we cave in to the fear of man over the fear of God, we make people our idol.

What are we told to do?

Trust in God

Find our source of identity and value IN HIM and in WHO HE says we are.

What are some biblical examples of the fear of man

What biblical examples can you give of people who allowed the fear of man to control them and dictate their actions?

Abraham - Wife as sister, twice.

Issac - Wife as sister.

Peter - Denied Christ three times

King Saul.

1 Samuel 13-14.

Context

Israel is at war with Philistines, a pagan and ungodly people.

Jonathan defeats a philistine garrison. The Philistines gather an army to retaliate.

Saul – 3000 men

Philistines – 30,000 chariots, 6000 horsemen, troops as numerous as the sand on the shore

2000 soldiers were with Saul and 1000 were with Jonathan

Saul’s army fled and hid under caves, rocks, and thickets.

Samuel was delayed in his arrival

Saul offered sacrifices himself and was rebuked, told his kingdom would be ripped away from him.

Saul’s troops fled, after regathering them, only 600 remained.

Not a blacksmith to be found in all Israel. (Philistines controlled all iron works – they were a strong military force). They fought with farm instruments. Saul and Jonathan had the only two swords.

Saul permitted his fear of man to be bigger than his fear of God. Man’s ability to attack, to hurt, to kill him was bigger in his mind then in God.

Consider however, Jonathan…his son.

I Samuel 14:1-23.

1 Samuel 14:1–23 ESV

1 One day Jonathan the son of Saul said to the young man who carried his armor, “Come, let us go over to the Philistine garrison on the other side.” But he did not tell his father. 2 Saul was staying in the outskirts of Gibeah in the pomegranate cave at Migron. The people who were with him were about six hundred men, 3 including Ahijah the son of Ahitub, Ichabod’s brother, son of Phinehas, son of Eli, the priest of the Lord in Shiloh, wearing an ephod. And the people did not know that Jonathan had gone. 4 Within the passes, by which Jonathan sought to go over to the Philistine garrison, there was a rocky crag on the one side and a rocky crag on the other side. The name of the one was Bozez, and the name of the other Seneh. 5 The one crag rose on the north in front of Michmash, and the other on the south in front of Geba. 6 Jonathan said to the young man who carried his armor, “Come, let us go over to the garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the Lord will work for us, for nothing can hinder the Lord from saving by many or by few.” 7 And his armor-bearer said to him, “Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul.” 8 Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. 9 If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’ then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. 10 But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us.” 11 So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, “Look, Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves.” 12 And the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor-bearer and said, “Come up to us, and we will show you a thing.” And Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, “Come up after me, for the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel.” 13 Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him. 14 And that first strike, which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made, killed about twenty men within as it were half a furrow’s length in an acre of land. 15 And there was a panic in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. The garrison and even the raiders trembled, the earth quaked, and it became a very great panic. 16 And the watchmen of Saul in Gibeah of Benjamin looked, and behold, the multitude was dispersing here and there. 17 Then Saul said to the people who were with him, “Count and see who has gone from us.” And when they had counted, behold, Jonathan and his armor-bearer were not there. 18 So Saul said to Ahijah, “Bring the ark of God here.” For the ark of God went at that time with the people of Israel. 19 Now while Saul was talking to the priest, the tumult in the camp of the Philistines increased more and more. So Saul said to the priest, “Withdraw your hand.” 20 Then Saul and all the people who were with him rallied and went into the battle. And behold, every Philistine’s sword was against his fellow, and there was very great confusion. 21 Now the Hebrews who had been with the Philistines before that time and who had gone up with them into the camp, even they also turned to be with the Israelites who were with Saul and Jonathan. 22 Likewise, when all the men of Israel who had hidden themselves in the hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were fleeing, they too followed hard after them in the battle. 23 So the Lord saved Israel that day. And the battle passed beyond Beth-aven.

Was Jonathan oblivious to the size of the threat? No.

Was Jonathan oblivious to their limitations? No.

Was Jonathan oblivious to the obvious disadvantages of Israel? Of course not.

Difference between Saul and Jonathan was that Jonathan saw a God who was bigger than man. Saul saw man who was bigger than God.

Saul permitted his fear of man to dictate his actions. And this was not the only time in his life that it happened.

1 Samuel 15 goes on to detail another instance of his fear of man and its influence on his decisions.

POINT IS - WE ALL struggle with the fear of man.

Anyone who denies that they do, needs to have their pulse taken. There is not a one of us who is not influenced by it to some degree.

As we move through the weekend, we will begin to address the influences of the fear of man and the solution to it…but for tonight, the goal is simply to establish the REALITY of the fear of man and that it is a universal problem.

Look

...instead of “How can I feel better about myself and not be controlled by what people think?” a better question is “Why am I so concerned about self-esteem?” or “Why do I have to have someone — even Jesus — think that I am great?”

...included in the answer is the fact that we need a way to think less often about ourselves. Ed Welch

We are going to examine this weekend that the most radical treatment for the fear of man is to fear the Lord more. God must be bigger to you than people.

But as we turn towards that this weekend, setting you up to go further at the conclusion of the weekend, I invite you to...

Take time to reflect upon and answer the following questions.

Where is the fear of man a problem for you?

What name do you tend to ascribe to your fear of man? (Peer pressure, people-pleaser, etc)

How is it helpful to understand that these are all forms of “fear of man?”

Took

Answer the following Questions. Prayerfully ask the Spirit to reveal where and how the fear of man is influencing you.

In what way(s) has the self-esteem mentality crept into your way of thinking? Be specific.

How does our cultural emphasis on self-esteem actually strengthen our tendency toward the fear of man?

What is the treatment for the fear of man? How do we overcome it?

Read Proverbs 29:25. What insight does this give to addressing the fear of man in your life?

Ponder this quote and write down your reaction and response to it.

Regarding other people, our problem is that we need them (for ourselves) more than we love them (for the glory of God). The task God sets for us is to need them less and love them more.

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