Singleness and Marriage

Background

If we have not had the pleasure of meeting my name is John Colunga and I have the privilige of serving as lead pastor here at New Day Pasadena

I also have the privilige of bringing this weeks sermon

So if you have your Bibles, plese turn to 1 Corinthians 7:25-39

What we know is that the book of 1 Corinthians was a letter written by the Apostle Paul

And the apostle Paul writes this letter as a response to the letters he has recieved about the church at Corinth

Paul has a love for this church as he had personally lived in Corinth for about 18 months

Paul taught the gospel there and accoring to Acts 18:8-10 the Corinthian church flourished

However, sometime after Paul left, the church started to have plenty of problems

Parents you kind of know this, your kids are acting good but as soon as you turn your back or walk out the room they just go crazy!

Corinth started going crazy but the crazieness didn’t happen over night

But what you have to realize is that Corinth was a large and diverse city

There were people of all different backgrounds and faiths

And slowly but surely these differing faiths started to creep into the church and distort the gospel

And rather than focusing on the gospel they started to focus on theological matters

And so there were those within the church who thought of themselves more highly because they thought they were more spiritual or knowledgeable than others

And they would take the teachings of Paul, Peter, and Apollos and they would argue about who is the better teacher and why

They would follow what they would write and say and devoted themselves to their teachings

Then there were those who were so relaxed in their theology that they would get drunk drinking the wine as they communed for the Lord’s Supper

And if they were getting drunk during church, do you think that their worship was honoring or revereant?

No, they were dishonoring and disorderly during church

And false teachings were starting to formulate like denial of Christ coming back to life

Church members suing each other

There was sexual immorality going on within the church

And so in Pauls response - He starts in chapters 1-4 by pointing the church back to Jesus

He tells them they do not follow apostles but that they are to follow Jesus Christ

For Jesus is the one who has wisdom

And then in chapter 5 he starts to address the problems within the church and also gives his answers to the questions that were asked of him

And at the end of chapter 6 Paul talks about fleeing from sexual immorality

The church at Corinth hled the temple of Aphrodite which is the goddess of sexual love and beauty

And so sexual immorality in all of its forms were present which also includes prosititution

And so Paul is correcting the church to not engage in it

That the believers body is a temple for the Lord and it should not be defiled with sexual immorality

And so we get to chapter 7 where we will be today and we find Paul talking about marriage

And Paul has to address this because there those high and mighty stating that all Christians should not get married

They are so far conservative that they say it is a sin just to touch one another

And so Paul is careful here to agree that is good for believers to remain celibate

But he also states that it is good and acceptable for believers to get married and engage in sexual relations due to the marriage

And he gives principles as to how to live married

Then he moves on to how we are to live as we are called

God calls each of us into different vocations, settings, and places of service

And then this leads us into our text for today.

And so, at this time, If you are able, I ask that you please stand and follow along as I read God’s Word - 1 Corinthians 7:25-39

25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. 36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. 39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), 1 Co 7:25–40.

This is the word of the Lord, you may now be seated

Singleness

Today we will be talking about singleness and marriage

And by our text today it may seem like we are only talking about singleness

And that is because singleness will be the bulk of the sermon

You see, I am sure you have plenty of books and resources concerning marriage

There are many best sellers in the marriage category

But I am sure you do not own, nor have you read the same amount of books over singleness

I wonder if you even know of any books that are over how to live single

And I am unsure if you are aware of this but we have first graders talking about having boyfriends and girlfriends

As kids we are conditioned to love but at the same time we also want to be loved

Scripture teaches and it is God’s design for us to have marriage

So marriage is a good thing, and even from a very young age, it is something we desire

It is in my humble opinion that marriage is better than singleness

I admit that is very rare that someone is called to a life of singleness and that the overwhelming majority of people seek, desire, or are married

And I believe in the beauty of marriage, I believe in God’s design of marriage,

But I also want to caution us as a church to also teach and disciple that while people are single, there is beauty in it

Unfortunately, in our society and in the Christian culture, as marriage is pushed and talked about so often, the single man or woman can be overlooked

It has happened where the single men and women have been looked down upon because they are not married

There are pressures for singles to marry and the longer they go unmarried the more that something must be wrong with them

And so singles often takes this pressure and has a longing to be married that many times they focus on what they don’t have rather than what they do have

And this will sometimes lead to a person marrying someone that they shouldn’t

This will lead to rushing and settling because they do not want to wait

In the christian context, a single man or woman may marry someone who is an unbeliever thinking and praying that they will change

In the christian context, a single man or woman may marry someone based on the infatuation of a life of love rather than true love

In the Christian context, a single man or woman may marry when they themself are not ready to be married

And so it is up to us to help teach and disciple singles, and I want that to start today

There is much work to do as you are single - your singleness doesn’t define you

There is much good that can come from being single in working on yourself

And the reality is that marriage does not equal good and singleness equals bad

Rather Paul is stating that both are good

25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned.

At the time that Paul writes this, he wants to make it abundantly clear that no one should do anything in haste

Because of all the sexual immorality, because of all the sin and false teaching,

It may be better to stay in your current position as it allows you to stay devoted to God

You see, this section, while many hold to be law, is not meant to be law

Paul is actually giving liberty!

There is liberty in being single

There is liberty in getting married

But whichever state you are in, be discerning, be patient, and be looking to God

His reasoning to stay in your current state is simple, that more devotion to God is important

And in reality, this entire chapter is all about putting God first and devoting yourself and your marriage to the centrality of the gospel of Jesus Christ

How to devote to God

Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

And in verses 28-35 we find out why

We find Paul telling us that life is short

As a matter of fact, Paul is alluding to the fact that Jesus will return and the church should start acting as such

For the present form of this world is passing away. 32 I want you to be free from anxieties.

Be free from anxiety

And in the remaining time that we have,

In our short life here on earth

we should be devoted and focused Him

And so we aren’t to abandon our spouses and responsibilities

And we do have liberty to marry, but just know that when you marry, naturally,

your time will become even more divided

And we know this is true, you have obligations to fulfill with your spouse

You are now one with somebody else and their needs and concerns become your needs and concerns

And so as believers, those who are single and are engaged, or desire relationship and marriage need to be ready for the added responsiblilities and division of time

Marriage is not the solution to all of your problems

Now is the time to make sure that you are walking with God as you should while you are single

Now is the time to trust God in tithing, managing your money, and your budget

Now is the time for you to serve, disciple others, and steward your time well

And now is the time for you to make sure that your identity is in Christ and not in anything else

Be devoted to Christ so that when you get married, your marriage will be devoted to Christ

I am sure this is what you are looking for in a spouse and so you are to also be that spouse

How you live while you are single is going to carry over into your marriage

And this is easier said than done

The world and its pleasures pulls you in so many different directions

Thow world wants you anxious about worldly affairs

Now is the time for you take a stand and say that you will be like Christ and not the world

Now is the time to shed off your pride and take on humility, generosity, seriousness, purity, compassion, prayerful agreement, reconciliation, and forgiveness

You are to conform to Christ and be engaged in His affairs

Dont take for granted your time as being single, it is shaping who you are and who you will be in a marriage

It is a beautiful time for you to be devoted to the Lord

Widow and Widowers

To the widows and widowers

Pauls message here is simple that you are permitted to remary

But I would venture to say that many of you are not in that state

For many of you, your singleness is a state of lonlieness

You have experienced God’s design and beauty of marriage and you miss it

I know that you miss your spouse, I know you miss the time you had and shared with them

The grief, the lonlieness, the struggles of old age

Give it to God, you cannot bear that alone

When the anxiety, the fear, the weight starts to set in, give it to God

It is possible to have happieness because your strength, your reason for living, the identity of who you are, is not in the person you lost, but in the person of Jesus Christ

And I pray that we are church that will come along side you, help you, and encourage you to keep up the faith

And I will say that we need you.

We need your encouragement, your experience, your knowledge

To share your love story so that we may continue to learn and love in the beauty of marriage

Marriage

And I’ve said this many times and I’ll say it again, marriage is beautiful

When two people come together that love the Lord and find their identity in him

and say that they want to marry each other but realize and submit that God is still number one over the marriage

Though their devotions will be pulled in different directions, because they have both worked hard in their singleness, they now work together

While marriage is the answer to having a walk with God, Finding someone that will encourage you daily to be with him sure will help

While marriage is not the answer to managing your money well, finding someone that will create a financial plan with you and work with you to tithe, give, and spend well, sure will help

While marriage is not the answer to how you serve or spend your time, to have someone that will use their gifts and talents for the Lord, sure will help

And when you are tempted to put your identity in something other than Christ, having a God centered marriage with a God fearing spouse, can help point you back to Christ

In our past three sermons we have been using this word theology which is the study of the nature of God

And as we look at scripture over and over again, we find that God is a God of unity

God wants there to be unity in him and through him

And Paul echos that in this entire chapter - Paul doesnt add any restraints not already set forth by the Lord

Rather, if you are single, be one with the Lord

If you are married, you are still to be one with the Lord

And this is why it is so important for those of you believers who are single, to find and marry another believer.

2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

If as believers we abide with Christ, and believe that our bodies are a dwelling place of the Lord,

Then when we become one with another person, physically, spiritually, and emotionally,

They must be abiding with Christ as well

Just because you share the same interests, preferences, or desires, that is not enough

And so I want to reinforce, echo, and exhort you to do as Paul has instructed

To not do anything in haste, but only in wise discernment with the Lord

Make your desires for the Lord

And when you find the person whom you love that does the same,

then marry them and do it together

Application

And the beauty of marriage is not that it is easy

But that you are doing life with someone

So if you are married, please continue to uplift one another

That you would continuously seek unity with your spouse and continuously grow more in Christ

Older married couples, disciple younger couples and even disciple singles

They need to hear your experience and advice

Those of you who are single, you can desire a relationship but desire Jesus more

Dont find your identity in anyone else beside him

Find a mentor or an accountability partner - someone to disciple you

Seek to grow in your walk with Jesus and become more like him

Seek to be ready for when you might meet the right person

When you do, make sure they are a Christian and follow Jesus

Widows and widowers - keep trusting in Jesus for strength and encouragement

Keep yourself involved with community

And remember that you are not alone