01-73 Tales of a Dysfunctional Family--Part 1
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Genesis 27:1-17
Genesis 27:1-17
There have been plenty of dysfunctional families in the history of the world. The rich history of England bears that out as the royal families were riddled with sibling rivalries and resentments that often came to violence. William the Conqueror’s son Robert rebelled against his father. The realm of England was plunged into anarchy when Stephen (King Henry I’s favorite nephew) went to war with his cousin Matilda.
The Angevins (Henry II and his children) were notoriously dysfunctional. Edward III supported the deposition of his own father Edward II. Henry Bolingbroke deposed his cousin Richard II. In the 1400s the various descendants of Edward III massacred each other in the Wars of the Roses.
Our own nation has its share of high profile dysfunction… The Simpsons, Kardashians, Kennedys, Hiltons, Jacksons. Reality TV today has normalized the dysfunctional family and we really do have few models in the public view of what a regular, normal, functional family ought to be like—BTW: functional family would be defined by Scripture as 1 man & 1 woman (husband and wife) who raise children that are equally loved and cherished. We’re in desperate need of getting back to this instead of dysfunction being the norm.
Dr. Rashmi Prakash (Psychologist) writes “A family is dysfunctional when conflict, neglect, and misbehaviour are constant and everlasting.” There are no perfect families. I think this really needs to be underscored. Families are not perfect b/c they consist of sinners. Husbands/fathers who are sinners, wives/mothers who are sinners, children/siblings who are sinners.
4 Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.
The manger has no manure when it is empty, when no animals are there to fill it with refuse. This can apply to the family…the family is made up of sinners. They bring all their issues together and that’s where highly dysfunctional families begin. but the 2nd part of this proverb equally applies…without the animal there is no increase. Families would be great if there weren’t people…but the family is created by God for the good of the sinners, for the good of society/world.
you may have had a dysfunctional family growing up…you may be in one now. you may have had a father who was abusive, a mother who was scheming/controlling, siblings that sought for revenge and hated each other. You may have been/might be part of the problem. There’s a good chance that we weren’t everything that we should have been to our families.
This is the picture of Isaac’s family that we encounter now in Gen 27. Four people make up this family and all four contribute to its dysfunction. Maybe there’s a part of you that can relate to what Moses writes about this family. There’s a point to all of this that should draw each of us nearer to the Lord and to His Word.
Now, its interesting that we find no commentary here as to the motives or morality of Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob or Esau.
Robert Candlish (19th C Scottish minister):
On the one hand, we may be tempted to extenuate or excuse the sin of those who are taking part with God, and seeking to fulfill his purpose; and, in so doing, we may run the risk of compromising God’s holy law, and lowering our own sense of truth and right. Or again, on the other hand, we may allow our just indignation against the faults into which we see the professing people of God betrayed, to carry us too far in the direction of an unjust and uncharitable judgment of their whole profession. We may thus strengthen in ourselves and others a prejudice, not only against the godly, but against their godliness itself, such as may be anything but conducive to the spiritual prosperity either of our own souls or of theirs.
What we see in these 4 people is that they are very much like ourselves and what we can rest in and put our hope and trust is that God’s sovereign will shall be done. Remember, God determined before Jacob or Esau were born that He would choose one over the other—before anything good or bad had been done.
23 The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb; And two peoples will be separated from your body; And one people shall be stronger than the other; And the older shall serve the younger.”
Paul explains that this happened so that God’s sovereign right to choose would be preserved on the sole basis of the God who calls (Romans 9).
Kenneth Mathews surveys other commentators:
Genesis 11:27–50:26 3. Stolen Blessing and Flight to Paddan Aram (27:1–28:9)
Early Christian interpreters, as with early Jewish traditions, would not accept the portrait of a devious matriarch, especially since Romans 9 attributes the appointment of Jacob as premeditated by God. Either by allegorical or moralistic interpretations, the picture of Rebekah was rescued, as was the virtue of Jacob. Chrysostom commented approvingly of Rebekah’s action as “a mother’s affection, or rather God’s design,” and of Jacob’s “circumspection in showing his mildness of manner” and elsewhere “the child’s dutifulness and his respect for his father” (Homilies on Genesis 53.4–5).124 Calvin showed greater sensitivity to the text and balance when he critiques Rebekah’s “sport in a sacred matter with her wiles.” But Calvin, too, praised her faith, for she volunteers to intercept the wrath of her husband, should her plot fail.
There is one theme in this chapter that cannot escape your notice/attention. It is the patriarchal blessing that was passed on from father to son. The blessing and the birthright were not identical. The birthright belonged now to Jacob—for Esau despised it—selling it for a bowl of stew. The blessing (would detail what the offspring would obtain in life (above and beyond the inheritance of his father’s possessions—double share). The blessing in chapter 27 is prominent. The vb “to bless” is found 9x, past tense (blessed) is found 7x, the noun “blessing” 7x.
Again, there are 4 people in this whole account and each one has their own contribution to this dysfunctional family and we’ll look at each one beginning with Isaac.
1. Isaac’s Darkened Eyes
1. Isaac’s Darkened Eyes
vv 1-4
Isaac has advanced in years—at the point where he is old. Luther calculated that his age at this point was probably 137 years. That’s how long his half-brother Ishmael lived and its reasonable that Isaac began to wonder how much longer he has to live on earth. This is actually a proper response to advancing in age—wanting to take care of your responsibilities before they become a burden on those left behind.
He calls to his older son (Esau) and says—vs 2. No man knows this.
1 Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth.
14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
Ecclesiastes 8:8 (NASB95)
8 No man has authority to restrain the wind with the wind, or authority over the day of death;
Psalm 31:15 (NASB95)
15 My times are in Your hand;
Now even though death is on his mind—Isaac is going to live another 43 years. At this point, it is still in Isaac’s heart that Esau (the older) would receive the blessing (even in spite of the prophecy of 25:23). Isaac is ready to oppose God’s sovereign will and even though Esau sold his birthright to Jacob Isaac is determined to see that the firstborn still receives the blessing.
Isaac loved his son Esau. They had a great deal in common—not the least of which was the taste for game. Esau was a hunter, red, hairy man that had the smell of the field. So his instruction to Esau—vs 3-4.
Now, Moses also tells us that Isaac’s “eyes were too dim to see.” With age, the eyes tend to weaken and can lead to visual impairment. This was the case for Isaac. He may have had cataracts (unlike today there was nothing that could be done about it). You became fully dependent on your family. I’ve seen it before, when this happens the person tends to become quite demanding, quickly looses patience and the family might respond by means of manipulation to get their own way. That’s partially what happens here. Jacob will exploit his father’s weaken eyes.
But Isaac’s eyes were dim to more than just physical sight. He was blinded to the betrayal of his wife and younger son. But he was also blinded to the spiritual condition of his favorite son.
34 When Esau was forty years old he married Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite; 35 and they brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah.
Isaac is 100 years old when he gets 2 new daughters-in-law who would bring great grief to their new in-laws. Esau would eventually marry another woman—the daughter of Ishmael. Esau had many faults—but Isaac still treasured his son. He had dreams of a hunter’s feast and anticipated what his beloved son would bring to him. And he was intent on giving the blessing—contrary to God’s will. In vs 4 Isaac tells him to prepare this meal “so that my soul may bless you before I die.” Isaac desired this with all his heart.
Nahum Sarna explains:
Genesis—Beginning and Blessing Isaac Plots (vv. 1–4)
Isaac summons from the very depths of his own soul all the vitality and energy at his command in order to invoke God’s blessing upon his son.
This is something that we must battle as believers—the affections we have toward the things of this world and when paired with the lust in our hearts—bad things can happen.
14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. 15 Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.
15 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.
Isaac was ready to ignore God’s purposes, His word, the desires of his wife and his son (whom God had chosen—and who also had the birthright now) in order to bless his immoral son. And he seems to be distracted by his own appetite. We need to be diligent to mortify the deeds of the flesh, to kill the indwelling lust in our hearts and pursue righteousness or we’ll find ourselves in a similar place as Isaac.
2. Rebekah’s Destructive Scheme
2. Rebekah’s Destructive Scheme
vv 5-17
Isaac and Rebekah have been married for 97 years at this point. Jacob and Esau are 77 years old in this account. There’s a lot of life experience b/t these 4 individuals and what is certain is that no one in this home trusted anyone else. Isaac didn’t trust his wife and she didn’t trust him. Jacob knew his father wouldn’t trust him and that he would be a deceiver in his sight (vs 12). Jacob and Esau didn’t trust each other. This level of mistrust is demonstrated especially in the one controlling the family—Rebekah. That’s what she is doing—controlling, manipulating circumstances to bring about her desires. This is where early commentators have thought that Rebekah was only interested in God’s will and actually praise her for her faith and pursuing God’s purpose. Nonetheless, she is part to this dysfunctional family and it begins with mistrust...
Rebekah is “listening” to Isaac and Esau (vs 5). This is the same term used of Sarah who was eavesdropping on the conversation Abraham was having with the 3 visitors (18:10). Now, granted, the walls of a tent aren’t going to conceal very many conversations. Isaac, whose eyesight was diminishing, might have been speaking a little louder, which is what happens when people lose some of the hearing as well.
She noticed that Esau went out to hunt and that is when Rebekah moved into action. She was waiting for that prime moment when she could approach her favorite son—Jacob. And there’s a sense of urgency for her (repeating Isaac’s instruction to Esau and Esau’s swift action—vs 7). So vs 8...
God reveals His will when it comes to familial relationships—He tells us what the family should look like, how to respond to one another. The husband must love his wife, the wife ought to be submissive, the children should honor father and mother and parents need to raise their children in the instruction of the Lord. Rebekah has taken her relationship with her son to an extreme. Her son is 77 years old and she says “listen…as I command you” (vs 8), “obey my voice” (vs 13)—then after the blessing is stolen, she urges Jacob to flee “obey my voice” (vs 43).
This is a controlling woman/mother. And while children are always admonished to honor their parents, obedience must be considered in light of what they are being commanded to do (is is a violation of God’s revealed will?, does it stand contrary to what is truth?)—especially adult children—you are accountable before God.
Rebekah is controlling. She is also participating in this deception. Isaac asked Esau to hunt game and prepare a meal. Rebekah heard all this and she tells Jacob to bring—vs 9-10.
This feast would be served by Jacob rather than Esau—all the while Esau is hunting and doing what his father asked him to do.
Notice Jacob’s response: vv 11-12.
Jacob is reluctant, not b/c this was a moral issue that involved deceit. Jacob’s hesitancy is that he is afraid of getting caught— “perhaps my father will feel me...” Now, I believe Jacob loves his father. He doesn’t want to disappoint him. “I will be a deceiver in his sight” is a term that means “to mock.” Jacob doesn’t want to subject his father to such mockery and shame by the behavior of his son. But again, Jacob’s only concern is that he might get caught.
How many people live like this? How many saints think this way? The allurements of our flesh win too often. Stephen Charnok “In the morning we commit to be as holy as angels but in the evening we’re as impure as devils. We cry ‘Hosanna to Son of David’ and how quickly that turns to ‘Crucify Him.’ Today we cry we want Christ, tomorrow we want Barabbas.”
Instead of doing the right thing, we fear getting caught. Jacob’s own son, Joseph, will encounter a time when temptation comes powerfully upon him. His response is most fitting for those who are seeking to honor the Lord:
Genesis 39:6–9 (NASB95)
6 Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. 7 It came about after these events that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.” 8 But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. 9 “There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?”
Not an issue of getting caught, but to sin against God ought to cause every saint to be pierced to the heart. David understood that his sin:
4 Against You, You only, I have sinned And done what is evil in Your sight, So that You are justified when You speak And blameless when You judge.
in the account of the Prodigal son who returns to his father acknowledge:
21 “And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
That produces a godly sorrow (opposed to a worldly sorrow) that Paul explains:
9 I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. 10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.
Jacob didn’t want to get caught—so once again his mother steps up and says: vs 13.
Jacob concedes and brings what his mother needs to prepare the meal.
Finally, the part of Rebekah’s scheme that is most destructive was her disguising Jacob—vv 15-17.
From the moment of his birth, Esau was incredibly hairy. In comparison Jacob knows that he is “smooth” (vs 11). The only way to make sure the deception is successful is disguise. What could possibly fool a father and keep him from recognizing his son? Goatskins. She covered his hands—even the smooth part of the neck—anything that was exposed and might be touched by Isaac. This is a ridiculous costume. Jacob must have looked quite foolish walking around with goat skins on his hands and neck—I’m sure he didn’t want anyone to see him like this.
Kent Hughes hits the nail on the head:
Genesis—Beginning and Blessing Rebekah Counters (vv. 5–17)
But there is a deeper absurdity here—the mother and son’s belief that God would not be able to accomplish his own purposes without their help. Mother and son believed that what they were doing helped God’s revealed will along, and therefore their deceitful ways were justified. They believed that unrighteous acts were appropriate and good if they aided the righteous work of God.
What about today? Are there very many who think personal ethics are irrelevant as long as in the end it helps to bring about God’s will?
How about the desire to provide for the family. That responsibility is given first to father and then to mothers. So keeping more of the money I make is more important that telling the truth when doing my taxes.
It is God’s will that His Word be preached with power. Many preachers will try to enhance the truth of God’s Word by making up illustrations and personal anecdotes to achieve that greater power. This must be acceptable.
Or…We know God wants people to be save and to come to a knowledge of the truth (1Tim 2:4). It must be OK then to use unbelievers to entertain in order to get an audience so we can share the gospel.
We also believe that God wants us to go to the uttermost parts of the world—proclaiming JC to the lost. It must be OK then to be deceptive about how we get into various countries and to lie about our intentions so that the gospel can go forth.
Genesis—Beginning and Blessing Rebekah Counters (vv. 5–17)
Wrong! As Griffith Thomas said:
Righteousness can never be laid aside, even though our object is yet more righteousness. In personal life, in home life, in church life, in endeavors to win men for Christ, in missionary enterprise, in social improvement, and in everything connected with the welfare of humanity we must insist upon absolute righteousness, purity, and truth in our methods, or else we shall bring utter discredit on the cause of our Master and Lord
God’s purposes cannot be furthered by our manipulative schemes. It was God’s revealed purpose that at the birth of the 2 boys that the older would serve the younger…that Jacob would inherit the blessing/birthright. God disclosed thru Mal. that He loved Jacob and hated Esau—but not b/c anything good or bad was done—but b/c it is God’s sovereign right to choose those He will pour His blessing upon.
If you’re here this morning—knowing LJC, your sins have been forgiven and God made you alive together with His Son—it is b/c He chose you from before the foundation of the world that you would be to the praise of His glory. If you are here and do not have this personal relationship with JC, God invites you to put your faith in Jesus alone that you would be saved. If you go on rejecting the offer of HIs marvelous grace, you will encounter the fierce wrath of God that falls on all who are without Christ.
As we will commemorate in a moment, Christ gave His life for us so that anyone who believes on the LJC will be saved.