A Time to Understand the Biblical Philosophy on Youth

Introduction

Today we’re going to speak about children, specifically the Bible’s philosophy concerning them.

Philosophy (def) reasoning; argumentation; or systematic thoughts or wisdom concerning the topic of children.

The reason for this message is two-fold:

First, VBS as you know begins tonight. This is a very important program and I desire for it and the goals thereof to be understood by all participating in the ministry.

Secondly, there are various diverse philosophies that people hold concerning children and the upbringing thereof.

Today we’re going to examine the Bible’s philosophy - it’s reasoning, argumentation, systematic thoughts on the rearing of children, and let me just say - it’s far better than any other way. And if you differ from it, the Bible isn’t wrong, you are. (I’ll just get that out of the way real quick).

I make no apologies for it or compromises with it - the Bible is right, and you’re wrong - end of discussion.

“Well, preacher you don’t know my child” - yeah, you know then better than I do, but God knows them better than you, and He’s given blanket instruction on how best to rear them.

“Well preacher, I’ve tried the Bible way, and it doesn’t work” - then most likely the answer is that you’ve not tried long and hard enough. You see, if you raise them the Bible way, it’ll take some time to correct YOUR WAY.

Btw, do you know, that’s akin to saying that you know better than God?

Today we’re going to examine two different schools of thought concerning three different aspects of rearing children. On the one hand, I will show you the Bible way, and on the other, the popular way.

I encourage you to choose the Bible way in raising your children - especially if you are still raising your children. If not, encourage those who are to stick with the Bible, they will not be sorry they did.

The first thing that I want to look at is that concerning children, they are a Treasure that must be Targeted

I. They are a Treasure that must be Targeted

Aiming vs. Aimless

Psalm 127:3–5 “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

They are Precious

There are a few different implications of the word ‘heritage’.

heritage (def) inheritance

This is indication of God’s residual gifts bestowed upon man

God gives them unto you to carry on your name & legacy - leaving behind on this world something substantial once you leave.

heritage (S-def) a stream

It’s a picture of the flowing of blessings from God

Church, children are precious. It’s a shame that children are born oftentimes by those too young to understand the tremendous gift that they truly are.

Our society has conditioned to look at children as if they were problems. Since 1973 apx. 63 million babies have been discarded as if they were trash! That’s a shame! That demonstrates the value that our society places on children.

But let me say this: Jesus loves the little children! I love the passage: Mark 10:13–16 “And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.”

Children are precious

They must be Pointed

‘as arrows are…’

Any man that is equipped to point an arrow, best better point them in an appropriate direction.

Children must be treated the same way.

Too often parents given their children little direction in life. Do you know why? Because most parents have little direction in life. They have no goals or aspirations - they simply live day to day going whichever way the wind blows. They get settled into a routine, they get a job, make a little money, then just exist that way until they die. Not much aspirations to speak about.

Some might say ‘Well, what’s wrong with having a little house and family - why isn’t that enough?’

Because that little house and family will be gone one day, then what do you have? Any and all aspirations that we have in life should be pointed to an eternal end - and that’s how we must direct our children!

Temporal life has literally no purpose unless it is pointed toward the eternal. And if we don’t teach our children that, then we risk their lives being pointless.

They must be pointed

They must be Propelled

Not only must they be pointed, but like arrows, they must be propelled towards the target.

If we desire Godly children, we cannot expect them to get there on their own. God doesn’t expect them to get there on their own - THAT’S WHY HE GAVE THEM US!

They must be propelled. That means:

We must identify the target

We must encourage them in the way

We must explain why

I’ll speak more on what this looks like in the next few points

They must be propelled

Children are a Treasure that must be Targeted. Secondly…

II. We must Chasten them when Wrong, not Comply with their Whims

Chastening vs. Coddling

In this point, I’m going to be speaking to the truth of the need to chasten our children. You might know it by other names: Whipping, spanking, taking them to the woodshed, etc.

Correction Demonstrates Love and is Likened to God (Pr. 3:12)

Proverbs 3:12 “For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; Even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

In this proverb we see that correcting our children is a demonstration of our love toward them. Not only is it a demonstration of our love, but it is God-like in nature.

To correct means (def) to set right; make straight; conformable to truth.

What this infers is that in order for one to correct, the object of correction must not be right, or conforming to the truth. They’re ‘going astray’.

IF we love our children, we will correct them.

Correction Demonstrates Love and is Likened Unto God, but we must understand also that Correction is Necessary

Correction is Necessary (Pr. 22:15; Pr. 23:13)

Proverbs 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Your children are not bound or inclined to be right and do right. This proverb speaks to the inherent depravity of man.

Children begin life like Adam - innocent, but just as it didn’t take Adam long to sin, it doesn’t take a child long at all either - because they are the product of you and I!

Therefore, correction is necessary - and thank God, He even tells us HOW to correct them - BY THE ROD!

He didn’t say ‘ground them’

He didn’t say ‘time out’

He said ‘use the rod’!

Correction is necessary, but that leads me to my next point, Chastisement is Difficult.

Chastisement is Difficult (Pr. 19:18)

Proverbs 19:18 “Chasten thy son while there is hope, And let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

Do you know why most parents don’t properly (read, ‘Biblically’) discipline their children? Not because it doesn’t work, but because we’re more concerned about how WE feel about it as opposed to what’s necessary for them.

I know first hand how difficult whipping your children can be. I know there’s plenty of times when I should have and I didn’t - to my shame.

But this verse says so much! In it we see two different things:

You have a limited opportunity

You must continue in spite of their hurt

(Ill.) We recognize the difficulty in the prescription - but in some aspects, it’s much like a treatment such as chemotherapy. When chemo is administered, it takes a toll on a body physically - but it’s purpose is to eradicate the cancer that resides inside. Chemo hurts and is difficult to endure for the moment, but the goal of it is to cleanse and make one to get stronger and live longer.

Chastisement is Difficult

Coddling Demonstrates Hate (Pr. 13:24)

Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

Coddling is the word that I chose to illustrate the refusal to Biblically punish their child - and Coddling demonstrates Hate.

Some people will say “I just can’t bring myself to whip my children, I love my child too much”- but that’s simply not the truth. If you love your child, then you will do what is GOOD for your child despite how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

The Bible uses very strong language in this verse - God says ‘no, you don’t love them, but not only do you not love them, but you hate them.

Complying Leads to their Destruction (Pr. 29:15)

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Our society today is falling apart . We have lost not only the concepts of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, but along with that is the skewed vision of justice and consequence. If we don’t instill in our children these values, they will not learn them elsewhere - and it WILL lead to their destruction.

(Ill.) I was teaching school one day, and there was a cute, sweet, but hornry boy there. This boy has not been properly taught consequence. I had warned him & warned him, but then the hammer fell & I told him I was calling his parents. At that point, he begged me not to - but my words to him were ‘No, you need to learn that actions have consequences”. Unless he learns that principle, he’s likely to be a delinquent by the time he gets to middle school, and then on through life.

ON A SIDE NOTE - THERE ARE COLLECTIVE CONSEQUENCES AS WELL. Joshua & Caleb wandered in the wilderness for 40 years because of the lack of faith found in the majority. I fear that there might be some in this church who labor by faith that will be hurt by the consequences that God brings upon this church for the lack of faith and labor in the majority. But we’ll see.

If you want your child to grow up and be delinquent, then withhold the proper punishment. Coddle & Comply with their cries, and see what the results will be.

Complying leads to their Destruction

Children are a Treasure that must be Targeted. Secondly We must Chasten them when Wrong, not Complying to their Whims. Lastly,

III. We must Prepare them for Tomorrow, not Pacify them Today

Training vs. Entertaining

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

To Pacify is Lazy and Selfish

We all lead busy lives, and we’re all guilty of this to some degree. But our children deserve our attention and instruction.

The common thing that we see today is to put a screen in front of their faces. We do this for many reasons:

To entertain them while we do our own thing

To pacify them to keep them still & quiet for a few

To placate them when they throw a tantrum

This ‘technique’ is used everywhere.

I’ve seen it employed when out to dinner (Ill.) I’ve been out to supper with people and they put a show on for their kids to keep them quiet while we’re eating. So we end up talking over the crap on the phone.

I’ve seen it used in the church.

This is a dangerous thing for several reasons:

It destroys their hope of learning patience and contentment.

(Ill.) I’d heard one time that a technique found in asian culture will limit a child to one toy until they learn to be content with that one thing.

It keeps them immersed in a fantasy world which is bright and colorful and lively, and then when they are faced with the real world, it seems dull, drab and depressing.

But when you boil it all down, this type of parenting is selfish and lazy. It serves only the parent’s needs while completely ignoring the needs of the child.

To Pacify is Lazy and Selfish

Training involves Effort (Pr. 22:6)

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Training involves effort. It takes effort to raise a child.

I’m not just talking about the effort of making money to put a roof over their heads & food in their bellies… I’m talking about raising them - and it involves far more than that!

Train (def) to draw along; to exercise; to discipline; to teach and form by practice

Training our children is a 24/7 responsibility - and the responsibility falls at the feet of the parents - not the daycare workers, not the school teachers, not the grandparents, not the pastor - training them is YOUR JOB! It’s one of the hardest things that you’ll ever do, if you do it the Biblical way!

(Ill.) Let me say this: I’m not running any marathons anytime soon. Do you know why? Because I’ve not been trained, nor have a I trained. Do you know who is successful in marathons? Those that have. Life for our children is much the same. If we train them for the race before them, they will be successful - and odds are, if we don’t, they won’t be.

Training requires Effort

We must Nurture with Purpose (Eph. 6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Nurture (def) education or training; correction

Admonition (def) calling attention to

When you examine these two words, we see that God desires for us to educate, train and correct our children, all the while calling their attention to the LORD.

Parents, if the extent of your Spiritual training of your children is bringing them to church once maybe twice a week (when there’s something else going on), then you are FAILING in bringing up the most precious children that God has entrusted unto you.

The BEST life can ONLY be had through complete dedication to Christ and the things of God. Many of you don’t know that yet, because you haven’t experienced that yet for yourself.

But we’re called to nurture them with purpose - to bring them into that relationship with the God of Heaven.

Conclusion