People Will See Me

Introduction

As we start this part of the study, please take note that there are 3 essential steps laid out that will help us in our fear of men. Each one is driven from a Biblical perspective. They are:

Step 1 - Recognize that the fear of man is a major theme both in the Bible and in our lives.

Step 2 - Identify where you fear of man as been intensified by people in your past.

Step 3 - Identify where your fear of man has been intensified by the assumptions of the world.

Proverbs 29:25 KJV 1900

25 The fear of man bringeth a snare: But whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.

Scripture gives us three basic reasons why we fear other people, and we will look at each one of them in turn.

We fear people because they can expose and humiliate us.

We fear people because they can reject, ridicule, or despise us.

We fear people because they can attack, oppress, or threaten us.

Each of these fears have this one thing in common: they see people “bigger” (that is, more powerful and significant) than God, and, out of the fear that creates in us, we give other people the power and right to tell us what to feel, think, and do.

STEP 1 Recognize that the fear of man is a major theme both in the Bible and in your life.

The Fear that Comes From Shame

One reason we fear other people is that they can expose or humiliate us.

Genesis 3:7 KJV 1900

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

This the debut of the fear of other people. Shame-consciousness. Being exposed, vulnerable, and in desperate need of covering or protection.

Shame from Sin

The example given by our author is Adam and Eve in their original sin. Scripture is quite clear that when they sinned they understood they were naked. In that moment...

The eyes of the other person became piercing lights, seeing body and soul, seeing the ugliness of sin. The feeling of being exposed, once completely foreign, was now the only thing they felt. They were seen by the other, and what was now seen was shameful.

At the moment of Adam’s sin, shame - that i, “What will they think of me?” and “What will God think of me?” - became a cornerstone of human experience.

When Job was in the midst of his greatest misery, he spoke of his dread and cried, “Naked I cam from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.” He was not simply resigned to the idea of death; instead, he acutely sensed that his shame was exposed and he was under the curse.

Amos 2:14–16 KJV 1900

14 Therefore the flight shall perish from the swift, And the strong shall not strengthen his force, Neither shall the mighty deliver himself: 15 Neither shall he stand that handleth the bow; And he that is swift of foot shall not deliver himself: Neither shall he that rideth the horse deliver himself. 16 And he that is courageous among the mighty Shall flee away naked in that day, saith the Lord.

Shame from Being Victimized or Sinned Against

…overlaid on our sin-shame there soon appeared another form of shame that intensified original shame. It was the result of being sinned against, victimized, or dishonored by others.

This second form of shame can be “caught” by contact with something unclean. For example, when Dinah was raped by Shecum, she was defiled.

Genesis 34:5 KJV 1900

5 And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter: now his sons were with his cattle in the field: and Jacob held his peace until they were come.

This does not mean that Dinah was responsible for what happened to her. The point is that even though she had not sinned, there is a sense in which her purity was marred.

…there are tow ways that we can become naked. The first is the self-imposed nakedness that is due to our sinful nature and our personal sin. The second is other-imposed nakedness that we experience because of the sin of other people.

…theologically, there is a big difference between the two.

Sin-shame is something we bring on ourselves; victimization-shame is done to us.

Everyone has the experience of sin-shame, but not everyone has this shame intensified by victimization-shame.

Victimization-shame usually intensifies pre-existing sin-shame. I have met very few who struggled with shame from victimization alone. Instead, such victims need Biblical guidance in how to deal with their own sins, as well as their experience of being sinned against. Sometimes they have sins they must confess; sometimes they must learn to believe the promise of forgiveness of sins.

Shame in Today’s World

…you are more likely to be familiar with shame’s less technical form - self-esteem. Shame, and its feelings of disgrace before God and others, surfaces in our culture as low self-esteem, with its feelings of worthlessness. Shame and low self-esteem are both rooted in Adam’s sin. They are both governed by the perceived opinions of others, and they both involve “not feeling good about ourselves.” The only difference is that our word “shame” still retains the idea that we are ashamed before God as well as before other people, while self-esteem is seen as strictly a problem between ourselves and other people, or a problem just within ourselves. Low self-esteem is a pop version of Biblical shame or nakedness.

The massive interest in self-esteem and self-worth exists because it is trying to help us with a real problem. The problem is that we really are not okay. There is no reason why we should feel great about ourselves. We truly are deficient.

Hiding - and Spying

We want to hide, but we also want to spy. Spying might reveal the vulnerability of others so that we can believe that they are no different from us (or even not as good as us). Disgrace wants company.

Fantasy is popular past-time behind these walls.

My point is that this relatively harmless fantasy is filled with fear of man, shame, and pride. It is fear of man because I am consumed with what other people might think of my klutziness.

That’s the paradox of self-esteem: Low self-esteem usually means that I think too highly of myself. I’m too self-involved, I feel I deserve better than what I have…But I believe that this is the dark, quieter side of pride - thwarted pride.

The Midnight Hour

Underneath the masks are people who are terrified that there will be an unveiling. And, indeed, the masks and other coverings will one day be removed. There will be an eternal unveiling.

One way to avoid God’s eyes is to live as if fear of other people is our deepest problem-they are big, not God. This, of course, is not the case. Fear of people is often a more conscious version of being afraid of God.

Luke 23:28–30 KJV 1900

28 But Jesus turning unto them said, Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for me, but weep for yourselves, and for your children. 29 For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck. 30 Then shall they begin to say to the mountains, Fall on us; and to the hills, Cover us.

When Christ returns, those who are naked will prefer being covered by the boulders of Jerusalem’s mountains to being exposed before the holy gaze of God.

God’s Answer

The gospel is the story of God covering his naked enemies, bringing them to the wedding feast, and then marrying them rather than crushing them.

Psalm 139:1 KJV 1900

1 O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

As long as we are sinners, shame will be familiar experience. We all know something about living behind walls and masks.

The answer seems simple: Remember that in Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension, through faith He has covered you with righteous robes. He has removed your shame.

However, my personal and counseling experience suggest that there are many times when a solution requires more than the reminder that Jesus died for us.

There is much more to be said about the Bible’s treatment of shame, but I’ll summarize where we are now. The first Biblical perspective on the fear of man is that it is the result of the nakedness that comes from sin. Because of sin still present within us, we experience embarrassment, shame, the feeling of being exposed and vulnerable. As a result, we try to protect ourselves and avoid the gaze of others. The ultimate problem appears to be the gaze of other people, but in reality the problem is within us and betwen God and ourselves. “Peer pressure” misses it. The ultimate problem is not the gaze of others. We classify it under the broader heading of “the fear of other people” only because this experience is most obvious when we are in their presence.

The roots of shame-induced fear of man lies in our relationship with God. We stand ultimately under his penetrating, holy gaze. When we are particularly aware that we have violated God’s righteousness, that gaze will condemn us unless we confess our sins and affirm that by faith “we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” (Heb 10:10)

Discussion Questions